EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 879
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
This was my life awakening about two years ago when a girl broke up with me, and I realised she don't even know who we both were, there's so many things we hide and hold back because of projection, social pressures, ego and manopulation... That's all bullshit and stops you from being really close with someone. | ||
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Titusmaster6
United States5937 Posts
On September 21 2016 10:28 bertolo wrote: Looking for some opinions and others perspectives. So I've been with my current girlfriend for about a year and a half now. Things are good, but I have been recently thinking of breaking up with her. I have probably been thinking it for at least a month. Like I said things are good but I feel like a lot of things could just be a bit better in many categories. I think about or see other girls I find more attractive all the time(mainly physical, but I have met some cool women since her), but I'm not sure if its just cause I'm young or I'm really unhappy with my current girlfriend. Small things have added up for me over time but it has never really been enough for me to say anything to her. Anyway some background, this is my longest relationship and I have definitely changed and learned things about myself over time and probably things I want more. My longest before was a couple months so this is hard for me to break off. I am 26. Basically I am leaning towards a break up now I am just kind of dreading the potential results, but feel I shouldn't be wasting both our time if I don't think we will last. If I get over this girl, what do you think about talking to someone you dated and broke up with prior? Like 2ish years prior. That maybe I think I left her for the wrong reasons. Just to start talking again and see how things develop. With my current girlfriend I think we moved too fast and just aren't compatible in ways I should have realized earlier. If that's a bad idea just move on to new women? I can provide more context if it helps. I've been in the exact same situation so I understand completely. From what you're writing, it sounds like deep down you already know what you want to do. I know it's hard, but you just gotta do it because those thoughts of wanting to be with other people will never go away and it will only chip away at your enjoyment of the present. GL man I hope you find what you want. | ||
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Shield
Bulgaria4824 Posts
On September 22 2016 02:39 LemOn wrote: Yeah, my best female friend got too young into a relationship with a guy (18ish) cheated on him just about 3y in was really honest about it afterwards (which I disagree with, the afterwards part) they took a couple month consensual break where they both slept with other people and now they are happily together for over a year again, four in total with a couple months break. Yeah, good luck with that. The thought that your partner could sleep with someone while you have a "break" is just too much. Maybe some people are fine with it, but I find it unacceptable. It could also decrease your chances of comeback. | ||
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Uldridge
Belgium5237 Posts
I go by the simple idea of: if you love/care about something/someone, let it/her/him (fucking pronouns) free. If you are truly compatible and you have something between you two that just doesn't resonate in the same way with anyone else (for both of you), you won't want to give that up. However, the road to eternal bliss might not be completely smooth ofcourse. Sometimes you'll have to grow as a person, you'll have to accept other things, a it's been told: no one is perfect. If it takes sleeping around with someone to get them to see they just don't have the same connection (or if they're super sexual and need to get off on a daily basis, but you're on a break so who's gonna get them off?) Why is sleeping with someone else so frowned upon, by the way? Can someone explain to me what it feels like to want to have someone for you and just you for the rest of your life, while you're the same for him/her? | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8942 Posts
there is a level of intimacy and emotional investment to sex and for most people the thought of their partner being intimate with someone else isn't something you look forward to. just because nowadays there are so many sluts and man sluts around thinking they can sleep with whoever they want whenever they want with no strings attached doesnt mean sex has no emotional baggage. | ||
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ragnasaur
United States804 Posts
Bitch is giving me head & stuff & i'm like I'm not going to fuck you and she just proceeds like whatever | ||
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Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
On September 20 2016 03:37 LemOn wrote: Except that confidence in yourself and making her feel comfortable like she can just enjoy the moment and let her soul rip is always way more important than any vigour or technical prowess. Women's orgasms are much more emotional than male's, and less important than the whole experience. Yeah, it was strange when I asked her what was her favorite part, and she said the cuddling at the end. Wasn't exactly what I expected, espesially since she came twice. On September 20 2016 19:33 Meborg wrote: Dude you honestly need to learn to accept yourself. "I'm more energetic, more laid back than her, blablabla" Literally all I'm reading is that you're insecure as fuck. Enjoy the journey, not the destination. Not being able to enjoy something unless it's perfect is extremely toxic. If you do not want to change your perspectives, all I have to say is: have fun ruining yourself in a vicious circle of emotional poverty. Even the biggest fool will accomplish more than you simply because he is satisfied. You are spot on about everything else, but I don't think I should get slacked every time I say sth positive about myself. CosmisS. got hung on me saying I'm witty, while you on what you quoted. I get that me crying here paints a picture about my sad and lame side, but nonetheless, I am aware of my positive qualities. After all, I did not hook her onto me by being an insecure manchild. Right now, about 80% of my insecurities are sex-related. I do believe that she is satisfied and she's heels over me. It's about me wanting to punch a hole in the wall for being below average "in the sheets". Which is still a great progress compared to when I just hated myself, period. | ||
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
If that is so, don't stress yourself out and try to make stuff happen when there is no need for it. That doesn't mean not to explore and such, rather to not force things you think you should do for her that arn't asked for. If you know what I mean?! I'll use improper words to make that clear. Just because you can pound for two hours, you shouldn't do it. And especially not be disappointed / feel insecure if you can't show that you can  | ||
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Kurumi
Poland6130 Posts
On September 22 2016 15:03 ragnasaur wrote: I got raped. Bitch is giving me head & stuff & i'm like I'm not going to fuck you and she just proceeds like whatever You fine? | ||
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SCC-Faust
United States3736 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46690 Posts
On September 23 2016 21:45 SCC-Faust wrote: Hey guys my girlfriend has left hints that she likes a controlling boyfriend. Any tips on how I could incorporate this without overdoing it? I'm not sure if I should be like "What the fuck were you doing last night?" controlling or "I want you to clean the kitchen" controlling. She sorta mentioned the fact that she didn't want to get hit or anything, so I don't think it is abusive controlling. First real girlfriend here so I don't want to mess anything up. I think you need to clarify things with her... does she mean she prefers a man who takes charge (like in bed or makes most of the decisions), because that's entirely different (and probably a lot less psychologically damaging) than wanting a man who yells at her and doesn't believe her when she says something. The fact that she already had to clarify a bit with saying "But, like, don't hit me" is a bit worrying. | ||
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solidbebe
Netherlands4921 Posts
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farvacola
United States18876 Posts
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8942 Posts
a guy who lacks confidence about himself and his gf is more likely to seek approval/reassurance/advice etc from his partner whereas a guy who knows what he wants and is confident he can get it would have no problem stating what he wants from his gf. imo she doesnt want to be "controlled". seems like she used the wrong word i think. she wants a guy whos sure of himself...because lets be honest even the most submissive girls dont want to have they boyfriend tell them every single thing to do unless they have some personality disorder | ||
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solidbebe
Netherlands4921 Posts
On September 23 2016 23:41 evilfatsh1t wrote: typically when girls say they want a controlling bf they want a guy whos more confident about himself. a guy who lacks confidence about himself and his gf is more likely to seek approval/reassurance/advice etc from his partner whereas a guy who knows what he wants and is confident he can get it would have no problem stating what he wants from his gf. imo she doesnt want to be "controlled". seems like she used the wrong word i think. she wants a guy whos sure of himself...because lets be honest even the most submissive girls dont want to have they boyfriend tell them every single thing to do unless they have some personality disorder Let's be honest, there's no way to deduce this for sure from the small amount of information given here. | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8942 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46690 Posts
After you understand what she wants, figure out if you're comfortable doing those things for her. If so, cool! If not, don't worry about it (but tell her you're not comfortable doing those). Also, make sure you tell her what your expectations are and what you want/ hope for, from her. It's a two-way relationship, and communication is vital. Sometimes, compromising and changing a little of yourself might be helpful and worth it for a relationship; in other cases, your sacrifices might be too much for you to be comfortable with. Either way, let the other person know. | ||
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solidbebe
Netherlands4921 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On September 23 2016 21:45 SCC-Faust wrote: Hey guys my girlfriend has left hints that she likes a controlling boyfriend. Any tips on how I could incorporate this without overdoing it? I'm not sure if I should be like "What the fuck were you doing last night?" controlling or "I want you to clean the kitchen" controlling. She sorta mentioned the fact that she didn't want to get hit or anything, so I don't think it is abusive controlling. First real girlfriend here so I don't want to mess anything up. Fyi large majority of women are like this, is something I had to discover in myself that I really deep down wanted as well and that actually starts feeling pretty natural. And it's basically being the decisive one, trusting your instincts and leading the way boldly. I know some PC people will hate to hear this but basically it's acting in your masculine. In practice it's e.g. at a restaurant when picking meals you scan the menu and decide what feels beat with your instinct very quickly and just go for it without any hesitation. In bed that you realise what your and her body wants and what you feel like and then you acting on it, things like "I'm gonna keep fucking you for 2more minutes, and then I will pull you up and make you sit on my face until you come " and then do just that. Basically be the one that decides what is gonna happen so she can relax and focus on the present moment and really be herself, with added wonder of what will happen next. You're controlling in a sense that when she lets you you completely take over in terms of what is happening, but at the same time you are respectful when she disagrees, listen to her opinions etc. So she's being dominated but only when she really wants to and always has the options to object and be listened to. Of course talking to her is the best thing and should be done anyways, and you can combine it with starting to do little things if you're not doing them already. Like for a dinner date tell her to put on nice clothes and just take her to a dinner place without telling her anything. or when you're in bed just fantasise what you'd find hot in bed like a certain position or place and just tell her to do it, or make a statement that you'll do it to her and see how she reacts. | ||
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