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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On September 15 2016 01:37 B.I.G. wrote: It would be interesting to see research like this targeted at people aged 20-35 because I think at least in western europe the numbers would be waaaay higher.. I think 8 sounds about right. They're taking the average right? There are so many people dragging it down and dragging it up. | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8942 Posts
if youre 30 yrs old and youve had over 15 partners it means you bang for fun (man whore, although real man whores would probably have ten times this number) or you struggle to maintain a stable relationship with a woman which is causing you to bounce between girls in a non stop rebound. either way youre not not promiscuous lol | ||
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Laurens
Belgium4558 Posts
On September 15 2016 00:49 B.I.G. wrote: I just saw a small infographic about sexual activity, putting the average amount of sexual partners for men at around 8 and any number above 10 as being "too promiscuous". Most of the guys I know were at 15 partners or up at their mid twenties. As such this info seems kinda false to me. What do you guys think? BTW the info was from US and Europe. Seems accurate. People have already pointed it out but this is an average. There's plenty people out there who have had 0-1 sexual partners in their mid twenties. I'm turning 25 next month, have had 3 LTRs, my "number" could have been higher if I wasn't in a relationship throughout most of my uni years. Still, I don't like clubbing and my Tinder game is shit so reaching 10+ would be a challenge. I'm a compsci student and a gamer, pretty sure none of my male friends have had 15+ partners. But I don't doubt the jocks from the college football team could easily reach that. 8 as an average sounds plausible, perhaps even too high. I always wonder how they perform those studies though. Their accuracy seems hit and miss. | ||
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MysteryMeat1
United States3292 Posts
It's her bday on monday, so was thinking a light dinner and walk by the downtown waterfront. Classy and cheap! | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
I think it is safe to say that it's over between me and the girl I went on a date with. I still have no clue why she would add me if she doesn't want to go on another date. I'll remove her from facebook later today. | ||
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Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
We are having sex, I'm on top, and she asks me to stimulate her [clit] with my finger too. That just completely threw me off, because I just can't do two things at once in a rhythm that fits me. Am I the weakling who should practice home by screwing melons while solving Rubik's cube at the same time, or is she just too lazy and I should tell her that she can do it herself too? | ||
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Uldridge
Belgium5237 Posts
Also, it's super different for me to approach the clit from the front when I'm super used to stimulating when I'm just next to the girl. | ||
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Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
Yesterday it just fell apart miserably and took away my confidence and desire in one go. But I would've felt like an ass telling her to do it herself, instead I acted like a macho and tried it. I just don't like how the pressure is always on me to perform and do well, like why can't I say to give me a head, twist both my nipples and put her leg in my mouth while she sings my favorite song? I don't like this approach, but I don't know how to break it, without sounding too rude and killing the mood alltogether. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
Rough translation: "Hey, thank you for letting me know. I'm sorry for the way I've acted since we last saw each other, it has just been a lot going on. It's not an excuse and you seem like a good guy who deserves better. I would liked to see you more, but I have to wait more. Hope everything is well with you." Maybe in the future, but I won't expect it. On September 19 2016 01:59 Volband wrote: Eeeh, another possible story, but I don't have time now to type it out. I do have a question though: We are having sex, I'm on top, and she asks me to stimulate her [clit] with my finger too. That just completely threw me off, because I just can't do two things at once in a rhythm that fits me. Am I the weakling who should practice home by screwing melons while solving Rubik's cube at the same time, or is she just too lazy and I should tell her that she can do it herself too? Yeah I think that is hard as well. You're kind of in an awkward position for your hand for it to be enjoyable I feel like. In my opinion she should do it  . | ||
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Ben...
Canada3485 Posts
Probably gonna block her number. It's been very freeing not dealing with her at all since she always felt the need to text me even though I told her I'm not that big of a texter. | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
Also if anyone ever wonders why that girl they like never replies their texts this is why | ||
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Ben...
Canada3485 Posts
On September 19 2016 07:04 B.I.G. wrote: Or just don't reply. That's been the strategy so far. I deleted her number and conversations off my phone like a week and a half ago and just delete the messages as I get them. Her messages are getting increasingly weird. At the start of last week it was "hey" and now it's devolved to drama-y crap asking why I don't respond to her anymore. I got the increasing feeling she was the dramatic type. That doesn't jive with me. Minimize drama. Maximize happiness. On September 19 2016 07:04 B.I.G. wrote: Also if anyone ever wonders why that girl they like never replies their texts this is why Yup, it is pretty annoying! I feel bad for anyone that has to deal with it. | ||
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Uldridge
Belgium5237 Posts
Also, people are not rational when romance is involved. It's a combo of your own complex feelings, the industry standard that's all over the place trying to give you the best advice and the rest of the world telling you what to do and how to do it. It's just fucked up sometimes imo. So it might be her just not getting the hint, not picking up on the non-chemistry or whatever. Also @Volband: I've never taken sex super seriously tbh. Sometimes I get really into it, and other times it's just really fucking silly and we just laugh our asses off. I don't think, however, you can just straight up command someone during, unless she's into that. Why I don't really know though, but maybe it's because sex is some kind of give and take activity where you just try to make eachother feel good physically. Bossing someone around to do it your way is just... ugh. | ||
CosmicSpiral
United States15275 Posts
On September 19 2016 01:59 Volband wrote: Eeeh, another possible story, but I don't have time now to type it out. I do have a question though: We are having sex, I'm on top, and she asks me to stimulate her [clit] with my finger too. That just completely threw me off, because I just can't do two things at once in a rhythm that fits me. Am I the weakling who should practice home by screwing melons while solving Rubik's cube at the same time, or is she just too lazy and I should tell her that she can do it herself too? Errr, what do we mean by "on top"? You can do it in most variations of missionary as long as you're primarily using your legs for balance. You can't stimulate the clit in any position that requires balance with both arms unless you're a gymnast. (if you are a gymnast, please give the numbers of your female associates) On September 19 2016 02:13 Volband wrote: Ah, good to know. But I also have terrible motoric skills to begin with, I have to put my mind to it even if I'm just doing the same motion with one of my hand. Yesterday it just fell apart miserably and took away my confidence and desire in one go. But I would've felt like an ass telling her to do it herself, instead I acted like a macho and tried it. I just don't like how the pressure is always on me to perform and do well, like why can't I say to give me a head, twist both my nipples and put her leg in my mouth while she sings my favorite song? I don't like this approach, but I don't know how to break it, without sounding too rude and killing the mood alltogether. The easiest way to maintain rhythm is to synchronize the rubbing with your thrusts. Say, mentally align one clockwise/counterclockwise motion with an instance of penetration, then do it again when you're pulling out. The easiest way to get the girl to acquiesce is to be cool and dominant. Then she'll be the one trying to get validation from you through showing off in bed. As long as you're not being an asshole, this should be doable unless you're trying to change the state of the relationship. You can't switch gears in the middle and expect her to let it slide. On September 19 2016 04:53 Ben... wrote: Oh god a girl I went on a few dates with before deciding I 100% wasn't interested in her is trying to get me to talk to her again. I have zero interest. I felt like we had zero chemistry on our last date and I had to keep the conversation going because all she did was complain about things and talk about work and exercising. It was like a bad first date. Probably gonna block her number. It's been very freeing not dealing with her at all since she always felt the need to text me even though I told her I'm not that big of a texter. Frankly, I can't tell who is responsible for the bad date. It's very easy to side with you when there's only one side to the story. I can already see several possibilities where you potentially dropped the ball. + Show Spoiler + A) You erroneously assumed there was some core "discussion" integral to the date, and you fruitlessly tried to stick with it instead of altering the state of it through humor and whatnot. B) You didn't establish proper boundaries prior to the date, so she thought it was okay to complain in the first place. C) You didn't enjoy your date but didn't express that, so she thinks things went differently i.e. you were incongruent. If you don't want to deal with the drama, block her and don't respond to her messages. | ||
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SCC-Faust
United States3736 Posts
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CosmicSpiral
United States15275 Posts
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Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
The position that tired me was when she was leaning to the door, bottom side on the seat, and I had to keep my upper body up by grabbing or pushing myself to whatever I could reach. My stomach still burn. I tried to synchronize it, but it just messed up my brain, I could not find a balance. I just could not maintain the two motion at once. Forgot to thrust, oh shit, I sped up, shit I slowed down with my hands, focus on that, shit, forgot to thrust again... Nightmare. Yeah, I should definitely be more dominating, she is the submissive type but I just don't know how to take advantage of it without sounding like an asshole. I mean, even the sex happened when she told me all right, get the condoms then, because I told her sometime before that I brought them. If I wasn't a cuck, I couldve just sweet talk her into it, and she wouldve melted. Instead she probably thought "I have to tell this idiot to fuck me, don't I?" Still, without being at least a bit intoxicated I feel like an elephant in a china store when it comes to me trying to be dominating. I'm afraid I might say sth over the line that just kills the mood. And it's not that I can't come up with nice things to say, but they are so darn cheesy I couldn't pull them off with a straught face. | ||
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CosmicSpiral
United States15275 Posts
In lieu of the rules, I'll keep this part hidden: + Show Spoiler + You can be dominant without being an asshole or pushy or manipulative. It's called "establishing the superior frame", and it's not easy if you're not accustomed to being in that position. In more layman terms, be the funny guy who spreads good emotions and doesn't need things from other people. You're naturally be dominant since most people won't do that, and she'll willingly be submissive because she wants you to be in control of the interaction. Again, the hard part is that you can't fake this stuff. Also, your attitude is really off-putting. This is not a zero-sum game. There's no need to think in terms of "manipulation" and "taking advantage", as if she's actively trying to sabotage you. Both you and the girl want the same thing. You need to get out of your own way and give her what she (apparently) wants: a man who can recognize her desires and take charge to satisfy them. I already wrote about this before, but your main problem is that you don't like women. To you, they alternate between symbols of value and obstacles to sexual fulfillment. It's making you both neurotic/obsessive over your perceived lack of masculinity and pointlessly self-destructive. You're turning molehills into mountains here. Your problems could be easily solved if you simply shifted your perspective. | ||
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arb
Noobville17922 Posts
Tinder is kind of meh, and others are usually pay for shit which im not doing or complete dogshit | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On September 19 2016 15:48 arb wrote: Excuse my phrasing, whats a good dating app nowadays? Tinder is kind of meh, and others are usually pay for shit which im not doing or complete dogshit I don't know where you live, but Tinder is the name of the game in Sweden at least. It should be rather easy to find out by googling. | ||
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