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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
how´s my luck ? i think i was lucky to meet a girl i liked but i also have strong power to destroy my own luck ...
long story short meet a girl 2 months ago and i somehow thought it was a great idea to sent her one flower and one love letter since she told me that she had never received one,she msged me that she was touched by it,the next day i had the brilliant idea to ask her what she likes from me and the answer was a bit striking,she said what kind of question is that and that this question might be done when u know the person for a long time(apparently 2 months is not enough) i told her ok,i will ask you in 2 years .then i had again the brilliant idea to use that paradigm where the minutes are months and 30 minutes later asked her again,and this time it wasnt really, nice her answer was.you watch a lot of movies ,calm down.I actually didnt like the calm down part and told her that apparently she was talking to a dog and he will not barking anymore,and this keep getting better ;;
now she told me something like congratulations on aggressiveness well then. (sorry i traslate it from french so idk exactly )
it cant get worse right ? ... well then i said it was very offensive by her and that i never been agresive to a girl in my life,saying that sent her flowers,letters,and cuz i like her i asked what she liked from me ,that´s all,and she said okok .
sorry for my english ;;
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On July 01 2016 13:20 WarSame wrote:It's all good, she removes her dentures for it 
I had a bad experience with a lip ring once. Be careful about those too.
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On July 01 2016 23:48 [sc1f]eonzerg wrote:
how´s my luck ? i think i was lucky to meet a girl i liked but i also have strong power to destroy my own luck ...
long story short meet a girl 2 months ago and i somehow thought it was a great idea to sent her one flower and one love letter since she told me that she had never received one,she msged me that she was touched by it,the next day i had the brilliant idea to ask her what she likes from me and the answer was a bit striking,she said what kind of question is that and that this question might be done when u know the person for a long time(apparently 2 months is not enough) i told her ok,i will ask you in 2 years .then i had again the brilliant idea to use that paradigm where the minutes are months and 30 minutes later asked her again,and this time it wasnt really, nice her answer was.you watch a lot of movies ,calm down.I actually didnt like the calm down part and told her that apparently she was talking to a dog and he will not barking anymore,and this keep getting better ;;
now she told me something like congratulations on aggressiveness well then. (sorry i traslate it from french so idk exactly )
it cant get worse right ? ... well then i said it was very offensive by her and that i never been agresive to a girl in my life,saying that sent her flowers,letters,and cuz i like her i asked what she liked from me ,that´s all,and she said okok .
sorry for my english ;;
what does "i asked what she liked from me" mean?
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On July 02 2016 03:57 IgnE wrote:Show nested quote +On July 01 2016 23:48 [sc1f]eonzerg wrote:
how´s my luck ? i think i was lucky to meet a girl i liked but i also have strong power to destroy my own luck ...
long story short meet a girl 2 months ago and i somehow thought it was a great idea to sent her one flower and one love letter since she told me that she had never received one,she msged me that she was touched by it,the next day i had the brilliant idea to ask her what she likes from me and the answer was a bit striking,she said what kind of question is that and that this question might be done when u know the person for a long time(apparently 2 months is not enough) i told her ok,i will ask you in 2 years .then i had again the brilliant idea to use that paradigm where the minutes are months and 30 minutes later asked her again,and this time it wasnt really, nice her answer was.you watch a lot of movies ,calm down.I actually didnt like the calm down part and told her that apparently she was talking to a dog and he will not barking anymore,and this keep getting better ;;
now she told me something like congratulations on aggressiveness well then. (sorry i traslate it from french so idk exactly )
it cant get worse right ? ... well then i said it was very offensive by her and that i never been agresive to a girl in my life,saying that sent her flowers,letters,and cuz i like her i asked what she liked from me ,that´s all,and she said okok .
sorry for my english ;; what does "i asked what she liked from me" mean?
Yeh i think you freaked her out with that.
I think we're past that age of flowers n mixtapes so girls can misinterpret those moves and get defensive. It's super cute if all those are genuine tho 
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I'm assuming he means "why do you like me" or "what do you like about me", and if that's the case that comes off rather insecure that early on. Not sure if it deserved to escalate the way it did, but it would still probably be a good idea to refrain from comments like that in the future.
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On July 02 2016 03:57 IgnE wrote:Show nested quote +On July 01 2016 23:48 [sc1f]eonzerg wrote:
how´s my luck ? i think i was lucky to meet a girl i liked but i also have strong power to destroy my own luck ...
long story short meet a girl 2 months ago and i somehow thought it was a great idea to sent her one flower and one love letter since she told me that she had never received one,she msged me that she was touched by it,the next day i had the brilliant idea to ask her what she likes from me and the answer was a bit striking,she said what kind of question is that and that this question might be done when u know the person for a long time(apparently 2 months is not enough) i told her ok,i will ask you in 2 years .then i had again the brilliant idea to use that paradigm where the minutes are months and 30 minutes later asked her again,and this time it wasnt really, nice her answer was.you watch a lot of movies ,calm down.I actually didnt like the calm down part and told her that apparently she was talking to a dog and he will not barking anymore,and this keep getting better ;;
now she told me something like congratulations on aggressiveness well then. (sorry i traslate it from french so idk exactly )
it cant get worse right ? ... well then i said it was very offensive by her and that i never been agresive to a girl in my life,saying that sent her flowers,letters,and cuz i like her i asked what she liked from me ,that´s all,and she said okok .
sorry for my english ;; what does "i asked what she liked from me" mean?
like if there was something she liked from my personality ? idk,actually the real question was,what is the most u like from me ?.maybe it is a weird question indeed.but i remember doing this before and there was no this kind of reaction.
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On July 02 2016 04:19 Mikau wrote:
I'm assuming he means "why do you like me" or "what do you like about me", and if that's the case that comes off rather insecure that early on. Not sure if it deserved to escalate the way it did, but it would still probably be a good idea to refrain from comments like that in the future.
yeah the second.
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On July 01 2016 12:47 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:As long as there's no teeth involved
As long as the right amount of teeth are involved everything is good. :d
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Isn't the right amount of teeth no teeth though? I've never had a blowjob and gone "if only this had a little more teeth".
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On July 02 2016 04:32 [sc1f]eonzerg wrote:Show nested quote +On July 02 2016 03:57 IgnE wrote:On July 01 2016 23:48 [sc1f]eonzerg wrote:
how´s my luck ? i think i was lucky to meet a girl i liked but i also have strong power to destroy my own luck ...
long story short meet a girl 2 months ago and i somehow thought it was a great idea to sent her one flower and one love letter since she told me that she had never received one,she msged me that she was touched by it,the next day i had the brilliant idea to ask her what she likes from me and the answer was a bit striking,she said what kind of question is that and that this question might be done when u know the person for a long time(apparently 2 months is not enough) i told her ok,i will ask you in 2 years .then i had again the brilliant idea to use that paradigm where the minutes are months and 30 minutes later asked her again,and this time it wasnt really, nice her answer was.you watch a lot of movies ,calm down.I actually didnt like the calm down part and told her that apparently she was talking to a dog and he will not barking anymore,and this keep getting better ;;
now she told me something like congratulations on aggressiveness well then. (sorry i traslate it from french so idk exactly )
it cant get worse right ? ... well then i said it was very offensive by her and that i never been agresive to a girl in my life,saying that sent her flowers,letters,and cuz i like her i asked what she liked from me ,that´s all,and she said okok .
sorry for my english ;; what does "i asked what she liked from me" mean? like if there was something she liked from my personality ? idk,actually the real question was,what is the most u like from me ?.maybe it is a weird question indeed.but i remember doing this before and there was no this kind of reaction.
Yo, don't ask people that anymore. Had you even kissed her yet?
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Well, not all that lucky recently...
So I met this girl last year, went really well, but as usual I freaked out at some point and sent her away just like that. With the glorious excuse that I wanted to focus on my professionnal life. Whatever.
Didn't take me too long to figure out I was wrong, but I also had a lot of doubts. So the tought sat there for a while. Started smoking pot again (turns out I was in a terrible mental shape after the breakup, although I was the one doing it), so there wasn't much thinking/facing my issues during that time. I was pretty much out of touch, away from reality.
Then it hit me, recently. The doubts won't go away, that's how I am right now. But still, I do want to be with her, and I don't want to regret missing out by not following that desire. So bam, get back in touch (we talked a bit here and there, no conflicts between us), and end up asking her out.
"Meh, got a boyfriend"
I don't think I've ever been hurt that bad. It's not only the loss of a loved one, but the realization that it was me all along that did it, that I am the only one to blame, and that I act like that A LOT. I don't value things or people, I don't take care of relationships, I give up quickly. And boy do I smoke too much. At least that part should be covered now, as for the first time I hate the product that put me away. Not that I consider marijuana to be responsible, I am, but still, first time I feel that way toward the drug.
So yeah, good old life lessons, the hard kind... If that experience can help anyone avoiding this situation, here are my thoughts on all this.
If you have doubt on your relationship, make sure you're not just seeing greener grass in freedom.
Keep in touch with reality, move along with life. That must sound obvious to most, but I just realized how bad I am at that.
Fear regrets, not rejection. Fear not trying, instead of messing up.
Keep in touch with your feelings. Don't dumb yourself down, be it with drugs or anything else.
Treasure what makes you feel good, you dumbass (that's for me ofc).
Peace.
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Marry Her: The Case for Settling.
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On July 02 2016 04:33 [sc1f]eonzerg wrote:Show nested quote +On July 02 2016 04:19 Mikau wrote:
I'm assuming he means "why do you like me" or "what do you like about me", and if that's the case that comes off rather insecure that early on. Not sure if it deserved to escalate the way it did, but it would still probably be a good idea to refrain from comments like that in the future. yeah the second.
I wouldn't ask that anyone really, really vein/selfish question. Instead you can tell her what you like and don't like about her and see if she reciprocates.
Or make it a straight date day exercise, but a bit later - you barely know her after 2 months.
Also personally, flowers are for a commited girlfriend, same with letters etc. Mostly. And that person usually reciprocates with gifts...
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On July 02 2016 05:40 Mikau wrote:
Isn't the right amount of teeth no teeth though? I've never had a blowjob and gone "if only this had a little more teeth". Probably because none did the little bit of teeth right on you. Or you just don't enjoy it. Dunno, it's hard to come by a girl (or a man i guess, even tho i would guess it is easier for us to do that) who knows how to do it really well, and that's the bare minimum for it to be enjoyable, i give you that.
Anyways this is kinda offtopic to dating so i will drop it. To each their own.
About better regret than fear. Both are crap, just don't treat yourself too hard when you are on a instropection run, specially if you smoke maria, try to focus on things to fix and move forward rather than reliving wrongdoings of the past.
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Woman next to me on the bus closed her book for a second to check her phone, I see the book is 'The Name of the Wind' by Pat Rothfuss.
Because she's interrupted anyway, I say 'I love that book! Can't want for the third one to come out.' She looks daggers at me, says 'very funny, asshole'. I look at the book again, title checks out, but it's from a female author, and I'm assuming a romance novel. Ooops.
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On July 02 2016 16:06 DickMcFanny wrote:
Woman next to me on the bus closed her book for a second to check her phone, I see the book is 'The Name of the Wind' by Pat Rothfuss.
Because she's interrupted anyway, I say 'I love that book! Can't want for the third one to come out.' She looks daggers at me, says 'very funny, asshole'. I look at the book again, title checks out, but it's from a female author, and I'm assuming a romance novel. Ooops.
Props for the balls though, I don't know much people that still do that (talking to unknown women in random situations).
About better regret than fear. Both are crap, just don't treat yourself too hard when you are on a instropection run, specially if you smoke maria, try to focus on things to fix and move forward rather than reliving wrongdoings of the past.
Yeah, you're right. It's only been a few days, so I'd still happily whip myself with stinging nettles, but in reality, I find that I manage pretty well. I feel very bad, that's a given, but my flat has never been cleaner :D Stopped smoking pot, sure, only been 2 days, but going from 4g a day to nothing ain't exactly as easy as it sounds. But yeah, forward it is...
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On July 02 2016 07:41 Godwrath wrote:
About better regret than fear. Both are crap, just don't treat yourself too hard when you are on a instropection run, specially if you smoke maria, try to focus on things to fix and move forward rather than reliving wrongdoings of the past.
The by far most important is to forgive - both her and yourself. And you absolutely need to feel through the emotions there in the first phase of that process.
I think Waffelz we have here is a prime example of how important that is so you don't get stuck in the past for literally years. And once you do reach the state of forgiveness it's just so much easier to dissect what you've (you and her both) done that you can learn from, without blaming - and I think that's a very important step as well.
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On July 02 2016 17:30 LemOn wrote:
I think Waffelz we have here is a prime example of how important that is so you don't get stuck in the past for literally years. And once you do reach the state of forgiveness it's just so much easier to dissect what you've (you and her both) done that you can learn from, without blaming - and I think that's a very important step as well.
Even though I agree with the general statement, I would like to point out that my problem doesn’t lay within not being able to forgive but rather not forgetting that you can get fucked no matter how hard or good you try since it is a team effort that eventually fails as soon as one doesn’t do his part. And my incapability to cope with that. Probably also feeling entitled to some reward for putting tremendous amounts of work in.
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I'm considering not giving up on her. It's been over a month that she had a new boyfriend, so I'd assume that my chances are like 0.1%. Still, it feels worth. If only to show her how I feel. I mean, I sent her a letter explaining what happened and that I love her, but going all in in the face of failure is something else.
Is this something that ever works ? If I were to guess from our convos, I'd say she's in love with the guy (...............................), but it wasn't that long ago that she still had feeling for me.
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EPT
