EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 857
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Skynx
Turkey7150 Posts
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Souldivnr
Cuba127 Posts
On June 23 2016 04:31 Skynx wrote: I just caught up with 200 posts or somth. Can we sticky Volbrands 1st date please? Welcome back  | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On June 23 2016 04:31 Skynx wrote: I just caught up with 200 posts or somth. Can we sticky Volbrands 1st date please? Sticky it above Google search, best post ever | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8865 Posts
one of the fucking funniest stories ive read on this thread. 11/10 would read again. as for everyone else you guys need to step up your fking games, volband is carrying this god damn thread. more stories pls | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
And to be honest we might as well lock this thread now, I don't think anything better than double vagina, blood on fingers orgasm in public virgin's well written first date can ever be topped. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
Started swiping here in my home town, not sure what the hell has happened but I am getting almost zero matches. Same profile as last summer and I got plenty of matches back where I study. I guess my "humor" doesn't really fly here, or the girls here are looking for something else. Also reached out to the girl I had first had sex with on facebook because why not, no response yet  | ||
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Ben...
Canada3485 Posts
So I text her later on that week and see how she's doing. She says she's overwhelmed at work and asks if we could wait until this week to make plans because she's pulling 12 hour days and is out of steam. I said of course. She texted me on the weekend and apologized for being busy and said we'll make plans soon and told me how her week went. I texted her a couple days back asking how she's doing and asked if she wanted to do something this weekend, no response. Then I got a response but it was definitely different tone than the rest of her messages. I asked if everything's ok but haven't got any response. I'm guessing she isn't interested anymore, which is a bummer. I'll live though. I already lined up a date with a different girl so I'll be fine. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
" I'd love to see you, when are you free to get together?" don't mention weekend, anything really, let her tell you. she says anything but a day to which you can respond with time, place, "cool, let me know when your schedule clears up" Send the first message in a week's time or so again if she doesn't respond leave the ball in her corner, there's not much point texting anything else, it'll do more harm than good. | ||
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Ben...
Canada3485 Posts
I'm pretty new to this stuff so I have a lot to learn still. It'll take a while to figure it all out and find a balance for everything. | ||
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DickMcFanny
Ireland1076 Posts
Just to get sex off my mind for a year, and focus on becoming a better person myself. Perhaps if I stop sleeping with girls I meet during the first date, I will be able to form a nicer relationship, and if sex is off the table, I won't appear like a horny teenager. Girls I'm interested in dating often give me 'oh you just want to keep fucking me', or 'ah you're just interested in my body' lines, and I don't know where it comes from, but maybe if sex is off the table, that impression won't be as prevalent? | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On June 25 2016 02:36 DickMcFanny wrote: I'm turning 29 later this year and I figured I might go celibate for a year. Just to get sex off my mind for a year, and focus on becoming a better person myself. Perhaps if I stop sleeping with girls I meet during the first date, I will be able to form a nicer relationship, and if sex is off the table, I won't appear like a horny teenager. Girls I'm interested in dating often give me 'oh you just want to keep fucking me', or 'ah you're just interested in my body' lines, and I don't know where it comes from, but maybe if sex is off the table, that impression won't be as prevalent? My friend's had the same issue - he broke up with his ex, and then went on a string of hooking up with drunk girls on the night he met them, having on off friend/fuck buddy arrangements, sleeping with girls with boyfriends.... Long story short, he's back with his ex who made him miserable and they've never even been really honest at any point in their relationship during which both cheated. And it's exactly as you said, just change your approach a little without doing something dumb such as go celibate, instead use some restraint. 1) In a club, bar, wherever you meet girls - close on numbers, nothing more. 2) When you call them a couple days later, arrange a sit down date without alcohol. And restrain yourself to kissing only on the first date This changes the dynamic completely, adds anticipation for the both of you as well that'll make you more interested in her and vice versa When I met my girlfriend, drunk when so was she I instantly knew she was something special. Talking about economics, exactly the same kind of humour, sparks flying. I got her number and then avoided her all night with the plan of going home with some meaningless drunk dummies and getting to know her in a proper setting. Also, Pull out of a lot of dates asap. Seriously, when you're taking this approach your mindset is not how to get laid but that she's at an audition, and if there isn't a very strong mutual spark and you can't see the potential of this girl being with you long term (attraction, traits, personality values, way she makes you feel) you leave without sex ever being on the agenda. If you want to find someone awesome for something more serious and mediocrity is not your thing, you will have to sift through lots and lots of women - simple statistics. Basically the polar opposite of PUA mindset. 3) other tips - just avoid alcohol altogether on first few dates. If you feel like you need it with her to be attracted to her and have an awesome time, it's time to leave. - If your interaction and she ticks boxes on first date stick to activity second dates again with no plans of going to your/hers - this just builds your bond, makes you both closer on a personal level. I'm taking horse riding, minigolf, day long trip around cool places in town ... - Leave time between dates. Seems counter intuitive, but you will think about her more if there's a 4-7day gap without contact between dates. On which you didn't even have sex Anticipation and fantasizing builds mutual attraction. So yeah they're a couple of small adjustments I've found help a lot - all you have to do is postpone sex during first 2-6 dates (which is 3-6 ish weeks really from getting her number) and don't have to do dumb things like going celibate | ||
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DickMcFanny
Ireland1076 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
I'm not particularly nice In what way are you not nice?interesting How do you mean you're not interesting? What do you work with? What are your hobbies? I personally think it is fairly rare to find someone who is actually really interesting. I would just say 2 out of the 14 girls I've met I've considered to be really interesting so I don't really think this is that important. You obviously will find them more interesting as you get to know them better, but for a first date or two it's not on top of my list.rich This shouldn't matter, you dont want to date gold diggers anyway. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On June 25 2016 19:10 DickMcFanny wrote: Yeah, I don't think that works for me. I'm not particularly nice, or interesting, or rich, so if I don't sleep with them on the first date, I usually don't get a second one. I take everything back, if I were you I'd stop dating altogether and get work on your confidence, self-image, purpose, values etc. You really are using women for sex | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
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DickMcFanny
Ireland1076 Posts
On June 25 2016 20:30 LemOn wrote: I take everything back, if I were you I'd stop dating altogether and get work on your confidence, self-image, purpose, values etc. You really are using women for sex There's nothing wrong with my confidence, I just didn't express that properly. I am actually pretty interesting, I have a lot of hobbies and passions in life, but I'm not interesting to the girls here. It's like I'm affluent in a currency that isn't accepted here. Many of my interests are just considered unmanly or boring here. It's all about sports, and gym, and how many pints you can smash, and stupid shit you did when you were wasted last weekend. It's like being 14 again. I used to stick to other foreigners for a while, but those are usually just passing through, like tourists or exchange students, so that's not really an option. As to 'using women for sex', that's ridiculous. Sex is far from the first thing I look for, it's just the only thing I usually get. It's just really hard to make a proper connection and find people who have the same interests around here, at least for me. And it's not like I didn't try to integrate. I went to a bunch of rugby games and I watched the Ireland footballs games in pubs, but I tell you this: 'fake it till you make it' doesn't work if you want to build enthusiasm for something you don't find fun. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
A lot of girls including my girlfriend didn't even know what I do until like 3-4th date. And most don't even have to know a thing a bout what you do as long as you're passionate about it and really own it. I feel like the only really necessary overlap is date activities you both enjoy, the rest is more about personality, mutual match in attraction, values, views. And what you actually do/what your interests are is almost irrelevant, you're always sort of into listening what the other person is passionate about. | ||
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DickMcFanny
Ireland1076 Posts
"Values and views" don't matter in this place, it's not like you would ever get to discuss those things. It's like you're assuming I've never been on a date before and don't know how to talk to girls. That's not it. I don't know how to talk to Irish girls. I've had relations with girls from France, Spain, Russia, England, Poland, Turkey, most of the Pacific Rim, obviously loads of Germans, some few Scandinavians... A couple of years ago, prompted by a TL post about how you have to play the numbers game to maximise your chances to meet someone you like, I started, and mostly stuck to, a 'one date a week' challenge, so I've had plenty of experience. But out of the 20 or so Irish girls I dated, I wasn't able to even have a good conversation with any of them. And half of them at least banged me, so it's not because I'm shooting out of my league, looks wise. | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
Seriously though you sound a bit like an extreme version of me. Lemon's advice actually kinda made sense... | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
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