Dating: How's your luck? - Page 856
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
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Jan1997
Norway671 Posts
I'm going to give internet dating a try as my social life and social skills are pretty much nonexistant. What I wonder is how to initiate conversations. I was thinking of starting it off by saying something along the lines of "Hi, How are you" as it's very safe to open up conversations that way. It also kind of feels like a genuine opener. But that's all I got. I can't think of much beyond that. Anybody in the same boat or were in the same boat who has any tips? Plz send help. | ||
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farvacola
United States18857 Posts
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GaussTransformation
9 Posts
"Hi, how are you" is like a grey hand axe. You know how many people beyond level1 pick up grey hand axes? You don't have to bring up a perfect unique, but at least try to show a decent rare, okay? So usually there are 2 approaches for openers: Either you pick something you of their profile and immediatatly start on that... Or you always use the same opening, and slowly perfect its continuation over time. A few things that are not completely unheard of: - "Hi, do you like >>insert your favorite sweet here, should be well known<<". You most of the time get a yes/no and a counter-why. If the answer is yes, you can decide to skip the why, and continue with something along the lines "oh, thats great, we should totally eat one together" or similar. If it is a no, you can try something along the lines of "Oh, how bad... Now I don't know what to invite you for. What else do you like?" and spin a conversation from there. Also such an opening has comeback potential later, as you can always make jokes back on it, would have an easy opener in any real dates, etc. Just don't script it too hard but let it flow. - on sites witch matching: "Oh, hi, we got matched, are we married now?". Usually the answer will be "No", and you can continue with something like "oh, okay, so when will we marry?" But don't be to surprised when someone answers Yes on the first question... Generally this way requires better social skills, as the answers vary way more and it is easier to misstep and scare away the other person. Those openers appear very direct, as if you would skip most of the greeting.. But that is the idea... You immedietatly wanna start a conversation in an unusual way. Because honestly, those "Hi, how are you?" - "Fine, and you?" - "Great, what are your favorite hobbies" "riding my bike, going out and listening to music" "oh great, thats the same" "... anything else to say???" convos are deadboring, everyone had those about a million times and they lead to nothing. | ||
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Dark_Chill
Canada3353 Posts
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ragnasaur
United States804 Posts
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Jan1997
Norway671 Posts
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
![]() I really have to cut back on porn, jesus. | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
Naw, that was no problem, but I think it just kept some blood down below the condom because it ran out of room or something. Also, there's supposed to be a little pocket of air at the end of the condom, right? | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On June 20 2016 12:21 WarSame wrote: Lost my virginity last night. Got the opposite problem from BloodWhore - didn't cum after an hour or 2 of fucking. The condom was tight as hell, and when I took it off I had a large swelling right where it ends. She was on her period and I ended up getting a nosebleed so it was an absolute blood bath, but it was a lot of fun! Leg day at the gym paid off a lot finally ![]() I really have to cut back on porn, jesus. Yay :D! Yeah, I think I'm going to get some girthier condoms as well. The normal sized condom is pretty much strangling my donger at the base. Somewhat of a struggle to put them on as well. On to the leg thing, I have to start training my legs as well, my legs are spaghetti after an average fuck session. There is no way my legs would be able to sustain 1+ hr of fucking. How you do not get bored is kind of beyond me as well. I don't think I would want to go at it for more than 20 minutes. No 4.5 hour Lem0n sex sessions here. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On June 20 2016 13:43 WarSame wrote: Also, there's supposed to be a little pocket of air at the end of the condom, right? I think it says on my packet that you're suppose to "pinch" that bubble area before you put it on so it disappears. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On June 20 2016 12:36 B.I.G. wrote: Congrats WarSame. The swelling might be what doctors would call "an erection". Pretty common stuff. hahaha | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45937 Posts
On June 20 2016 17:31 bloodwhore~ wrote: I think it says on my packet that you're suppose to "pinch" that bubble area before you put it on so it disappears. No, the bubble is supposed to exist on the condom (at the tip of your penis when the condom is on) because that's the pocket/ pouch that starts to get filled when you orgasm. It basically tells you which way to put the condom on. | ||
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Yoz
Australia357 Posts
On June 20 2016 23:31 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:No, the bubble is supposed to exist on the condom (at the tip of your penis when the condom is on) because that's the pocket/ pouch that starts to get filled when you orgasm. It basically tells you which way to put the condom on. I believe this is referred to as the 'reservoir tip' and it's to hold the semen when you ejaculate. Afaik, you're meant to pinch the tip of the condom (so there's no air) when you put it on as it helps to minimise condom breakages. If you put a condom on with air inside the tip (and it's tight) then when you ejaculate the pressure is more likely (but still unlikely) to break the condom. If there's no air in the tip when you ejaculate there's a much lesser risk of breakage. It actually doesn't tell you anything about which way to put the condom on - that would be which way it rolls? | ||
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Yoz
Australia357 Posts
On June 20 2016 02:23 Jan1997 wrote: What I wonder is how to initiate conversations. I was thinking of starting it off by saying something along the lines of "Hi, How are you" as it's very safe to open up conversations that way. It also kind of feels like a genuine opener. But that's all I got. I can't think of much beyond that. Anybody in the same boat or were in the same boat who has any tips? Plz send help. Your approach will depend on the site of choosing as well as other factors (age, culture, what you're seeking). I've used OkCupid in the past (met both my ex-gf and fiancee there) and my approach to create an account would be as follows: Set Up Profile - Setting up the profile is the first step and I tend to take a slightly geeky/scientific approach. I've seen research on what traits or keywords girls tend to respond positively to and use the relevant ones in my profile. Also tailored it towards the type of girl I was seeking. Attempted to limit anything negative (red flags) as I figured I'd rather project the best version of myself and be rejected after a date; rather than never getting dates at all. Getting nice photos is also a key component of setting up a profile so maybe ask some friends to help get some nice photos. Answer Questions - On OkCupid they have an algorithm which shows your match percentage against other users. It's really not THAT accurate but many people on the site overemphasize this. As such there's ways to game the system slightly by answering specific questions and how you weight them. Personally didn't go overboard on the optimisation here but also kept from answering too many useless questions - just enough so that the match scores are high enough. Browse Profiles - I've deliberately listed this as the third step. Why? It's because I feel that if you start clicking and messaging people before your profile is fleshed out and optimised they may remember you and ignore future messages; or even worse might block you. I'm of the opinion that your profile should be set up before you start clicking people's profiles as that way when they see the "User is looking at your profile" if they click through they might like what they see. Send Messages - When sending messages your aim is to differentiate yourself from the pack. Most guys send one line messages with generic stuff like, "Hey, how are you?" which gets lost. I've seen my fiancee's OkCupid inbox and she gets many messages and anything like that she just wouldn't bother responding. You want to send something which demonstrates you've read their profile and isn't copy/pasted. On top of that you want to give them a reason to respond so open-ended questions are better. Also, when sending messages if you're not sure how much to write tailor the length to the girl's profile style. If she's verbose then writing a longer vocabularious message will be better received. If she's got ten mirror selfies at the gym and single word answers for each profile section - then she's probably not reading two paragraphs. Meet Up - Oh. Should probably mention your goal should essentially be to meet up. Your aim isn't to spend 1 month chatting online. It's to chat enough to get to know each other and feel comfortable to go on a date where you can figure out whether there's chemistry. All in all. Online dating is super easy (imo) but most guys seem to suck at it for some reason. Too impatient maybe. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On June 20 2016 23:31 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: No, the bubble is supposed to exist on the condom (at the tip of your penis when the condom is on) because that's the pocket/ pouch that starts to get filled when you orgasm. It basically tells you which way to put the condom on. Eh just no, there's no air supposed to be there at all, you risk it'll burst, DPB Virgin confirmed. | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
On June 20 2016 17:30 bloodwhore~ wrote: Yay :D! Yeah, I think I'm going to get some girthier condoms as well. The normal sized condom is pretty much strangling my donger at the base. Somewhat of a struggle to put them on as well. On to the leg thing, I have to start training my legs as well, my legs are spaghetti after an average fuck session. There is no way my legs would be able to sustain 1+ hr of fucking. How you do not get bored is kind of beyond me as well. I don't think I would want to go at it for more than 20 minutes. No 4.5 hour Lem0n sex sessions here. Id rather have it be a little snug than be loose and come off. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45937 Posts
On June 21 2016 00:20 Yoz wrote: I believe this is referred to as the 'reservoir tip' and it's to hold the semen when you ejaculate. Afaik, you're meant to pinch the tip of the condom (so there's no air) when you put it on as it helps to minimise condom breakages. If you put a condom on with air inside the tip (and it's tight) then when you ejaculate the pressure is more likely (but still unlikely) to break the condom. If there's no air in the tip when you ejaculate there's a much lesser risk of breakage. It actually doesn't tell you anything about which way to put the condom on - that would be which way it rolls? That's actually a secondary function of it. I'm not sure if I didn't word things correctly of if people are just trolling but it's this: "6 Make sure the reservoir at the tip of the condom is pointing in the right direction. This reservoir should already be on the outer tip of the condom, but it can sometimes become inverted during packaging. Make sure the reservoir is oriented so that the rest of the condom rolls away from it. .... If it turns out that you are trying to put the condom on backwards, throw it away and start over.[11]" ~ http://www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Condom Of course you get rid of the reservoir tip once it's already on, but I was trying to speak to the purpose of why it even exists in the first place (i.e., if you just look at a condom/ stretch it out). Its primary purpose is to catch the sperm (it's called the reservoir tip for a reason lol), but it also helps you navigate which way to stretch the condom. On June 21 2016 01:31 LemOn wrote: Eh just no, there's no air supposed to be there at all, you risk it'll burst, DPB Virgin confirmed. WarSame didn't mention whether he meant the bubble should exist before the condom is on (which is Yes) or after the condom is on (which is No), so I think we interpreted his question differently. We should have clarified with him. LemOn being silly confirmed. | ||
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Uldridge
Belgium5160 Posts
On June 21 2016 01:31 LemOn wrote: Eh just no, there's no air supposed to be there at all, you risk it'll burst, DPB Virgin confirmed. Actually, you squeeze that bubble, so it becomes an empty pocket, so jizz can fill it up. If there is air, it does have risk of it bursting because of pressure overload or whatever (but that's strange since condoms are strong as fuck, that said, I haven't used ultra thin one's yet so that's probably a whole different story) | ||
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