EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 855
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Deleted User 173346
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DarkPlasmaBall
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IgnE
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IgnE
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
The key is to mix in your questions with statements and stories of your own, so it's not just some awkward interview. Bond over common experiences, make jokes, sympathize, etc. "You have an older brother? Me too! Aren't they the worst?" or something. | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On June 16 2016 11:45 plasmidghost wrote: Making small talk is so incredibly hard for me to do, what do I even talk about? I've found that thinking in advance about interesting things to talk was worthless and pretty much drove me away from talking with girls i've wanted to talk to and lead to miss oportunities. As cheesy as it sounds, finding a girl I want to talk to and just going over there works fine pretty much always ("Hi" and "how is/was your day?" to break the ice). Try having her do most of the talking and get practice. To be fair to Igne's post, I do consider myself interesting and educated. | ||
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IgnE
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Deleted User 173346
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Deleted User 101379
4849 Posts
On June 16 2016 12:00 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: Ask about her hopes, dreams, passions, hobbies, job, family... I find those questions incredibly boring. Smalltalk is not an interview, not a question/answer games, it's talking. On June 16 2016 11:45 plasmidghost wrote: Making small talk is so incredibly hard for me to do, what do I even talk about? Tell stories, no matter whether they are big or small. You tell a story, she tells a related story, you tell another story related to that, mix in a question related to any of those stories, either to have her expand on the story or to learn more about her background, and add a few jokes and you're doing smalltalk. Let the smalltalk flow naturally through stories and just follow the direction it goes and build on what she said, because if you try to force a direction then the flow will break and things will become awkward. If you ask questions and she answers, it's a job interview. No one likes job interviews. | ||
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Deleted User 173346
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
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Deleted User 173346
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B.I.G.
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I think small talk is something you can be naturally good at, but it's also a skill you can learn. No such thing as perfect but practice will get you a long way. I'm pretty damn good at small talk if you could talk about it in those kinds of terms, and that is because even when I was a little kid my parents "forced" me to talk to people and I just picked up from there. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On June 16 2016 16:03 plasmidghost wrote: I've never been on a date before so I have nothing to go off of Well to be honest just do anything you feel like, some pre-prepared approaches/topics that people suggested here are a good crutch. If you want it be so you will go on many dates with many gorgeous women, so no matter what happens worst case scenario is just that - some anchor to go off of | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45937 Posts
On June 16 2016 15:07 Morfildur wrote: I find those questions incredibly boring. Smalltalk is not an interview, not a question/answer games, it's talking. To be clear, I didn't mean for him to just rapid-fire those questions. Once she brings up a response, it's up to him to work with that topic and have a discussion. | ||
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farvacola
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Deleted User 173346
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NewSunshine
United States5938 Posts
On June 17 2016 10:06 plasmidghost wrote: I'm just gonna be myself :^) But what about your hygiene? :D | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
travel to small town=>horse riding=>local pub=>take train to another town=>nudist beach=>watch Euro=>sightseeing (was a spa town) =>train back to home town (with compartments  )Nudist beach (neither of us haven't been to one) is kinda woozy in terms of the rules. Can we check out others, stare at newcomers, is getting aroused and stuff like making out etc. frowned upon. Sex I guess is illegal don't have to ask And research is hard to find, most google searches lead to porn ;D | ||
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SwizzY
United States1549 Posts
On June 16 2016 11:45 plasmidghost wrote: Making small talk is so incredibly hard for me to do, what do I even talk about? My favorite way to get to know strangers or interesting people is to take some initiative and plan out an interesting activity with them. I'm partial to low commitment, physical activities like light hiking. During the "date," intersperse questions about life/hobbies/interests while staying engaged on actually doing that activity. The goal is to keep conversation light and fun, not heavy and prodding, and to have a good time! Remember that romantic chemistry just isn't possible with every woman you'll ever meet. There are times where I feel like there isn't enough time in the day to actually talk, whereas others I have felt the day could not possibly end soon enough. And it still doesn't necessarily mean I/they are romantically attracted to one another. Small scenario: Hiking up a mountain... (You) "Damn I am so out of shape, I shouldn't have eaten that ____ last night but it was calling to me..." -If she is actually engaged and/or interested in you- (Her) "I love/hate ____!" -If love- (You) "We should definitely get some after this!" -If hate- (You) "I actually like it alot because of ______ (texture, ease of eating, etc.), or "That's interesting, why don't you like it?" For me personally and the people I like to be around we can get VERY detail oriented about music, film, culture, our immediate environment, etc. etc. so talking flows naturally and abundantly. I have had the exact opposite experience with someone that thought the best date we could have was "drinking and partying." We weren't each others type and we didn't waste any time acting like we were. | ||
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