Dating: How's your luck? - Page 853
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Deleted User 173346
16169 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
--------------- I genuinely believe that there are some people that are incapable of being date-worthy material, and from experience, I've learned that I am one of those people You're not undateable, nobody is. You have barely tried from what I can understand. You might have a harder time dating, but that can change. I mean I was kissless until last year (22 then) met 14 girls since then. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45937 Posts
On June 09 2016 00:33 plasmidghost wrote: Perhaps I'm just not meant to date anyone. This could be the Guru saying that I need to stop caring so much about myself and focus more on helping others I think that there's some truth to the philosophy that one might be looking too hard for love, and that taking care of yourself (education, job, family, health, lifestyle, whatever) and focusing on what's important in your life will allow you the kind of happiness and confidence that can go a long way towards become more appealing to others. A relationship might follow afterwards. Focus on the other things that are important to you as well! You don't need to pass up opportunities to go out, have fun, and meet new people, but make sure you don't obsess over it too much to the point where the other important elements in your life are forgotten. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45937 Posts
On June 09 2016 00:30 Ghostcom wrote: DPB, let the troll starve. Please... Will do. I was hoping that he'd start talking about dating at some point. I'm done with that conversation now; it's not going anywhere, sadly. | ||
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Seeker
Where dat snitch at?37085 Posts
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Daxz
9 Posts
On June 09 2016 00:26 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: Gender/ masculinity/ femininity is a social and cultural construct, by definition. That's what I'm referring to. What is considered manly or girly in one place isn't necessarily the same as in another. Different families, nationalities, and environments may perceive things differently. Again with the social constructionism. This is just 100% false. Take a look at the Pinker debate I posted. He conclusively disproves this notion. Being confident doesn't mean you're necessarily being manly, but what's important is that you are confident. Women should be confident too. Talking about being "dominant" (and the other things you've been mentioning) is getting you dangerously close to talking about being "alpha", which is banned nonsense in this thread (see the banner atop the page), so be careful. Also keep in mind: "3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture." when you say things like: "Don't listen to feminists talking about "harassment", objectification or rape culture." Dominance is a core part of being masculine. Feminist will never admit this, but it is. Take a look at womens romance novels, take a look at fifty shades of grey. Women want dominant men. Again, I don't think you understand the purpose of this dating thread. It's not a PUA discussion board. It's not Ten Easy Steps To Getting Laid. I'm not sure how it's really possible to have a meaningful, intimate dating relationship with someone if you don't communicate and open up to each other, but I'm willing to hear you explain your rationale. Please elaborate on how you can have a loving, happy, and substantive relationship if you never open up or share feelings. The name of the game is being attractive, wether you want to call it dating, pua or whatever. If you're a senstive emotional guy who needs to talk about his feelings all the time you're not going to be very successful. See a shrink if thats what you need. Can you please share your experiences (successful or otherwise) in the dating scene? Do you date a lot? Online dating? Are you in a relationship/ married/ single? I'm curious as to where you're coming from, given your very... interesting... suggestions. I'm a guy who likes sex with young attractive women. | ||
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biology]major
United States2253 Posts
Also the part about gender/masculinity/femininity just being a social construct, wrong. We are closer to animals than you think. The vast majority of men are attracted to similiar traits, and the vast majority of women are attracted to similar traits. We can't help this, it is on a subconscious level. Our biology can be augmented by society, either by celebrating or repressing these subconscious desires. But they are ALWAYS there, unless you chemically/physically castrate yourself. It's all biology ![]() | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On June 09 2016 01:15 biology]major wrote: You can easily have a loving, happy and substantative relationship without opening up or sharing feelings. They were arranged married too, so there was no "love" but I can gaurantee she respected the hell out of that man. Quite the contradictions. Why would you even want to be in a relationship if there is no love...? Why even bother? Just to reproduce? | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
On June 09 2016 00:38 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: I think that there's some truth to the philosophy that one might be looking too hard for love, and that taking care of yourself (education, job, family, health, lifestyle, whatever) and focusing on what's important in your life will allow you the kind of happiness and confidence that can go a long way towards become more appealing to others. A relationship might follow afterwards. Focus on the other things that are important to you as well! You don't need to pass up opportunities to go out, have fun, and meet new people, but make sure you don't obsess over it too much to the point where the other important elements in your life are forgotten. When the student is ready the master will appear. | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
On June 09 2016 01:15 biology]major wrote: You can easily have a loving, happy and substantative relationship without opening up or sharing feelings. My grandfather passed away, he was the most prideful independent person I have ever seen. He would never ever discuss his own feelings, and did his own thing by being absent for the majority of the relationship due to being involved in politics. It has been many months now and my grandmother is still a mess. He wasn't your typical nice guy who bought roses or gifts, he never celebrated any of her birthdays or anniversaries, he never communicated his feelings with her, literally did his own thing and performed his obligations to his peers and family. They were arranged married too, so there was no "love" but I can gaurantee she respected the hell out of that man. So I'd have to agree, this whole talking about feelings instead of taking active steps to fix them is just a way to lose respect, not gain it. Also the part about gender/masculinity/femininity just being a social construct, wrong. We are closer to animals than you think. The vast majority of men are attracted to similiar traits, and the vast majority of women are attracted to similar traits. We can't help this, it is on a subconscious level. Our biology can be augmented by society, either by celebrating or repressing these subconscious desires. But they are ALWAYS there, unless you chemically/physically castrate yourself. It's all biology ![]() I don't think you have any fucking clue what your grandparents' marriage was like on the inside. How old are you? | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On June 09 2016 00:12 plasmidghost wrote: This is actually the third time I've tried now, the previous two went the exact same way How many hundreds of women have you contacted, improved your profile, tested your approach, and contacted a few more hundred women? Online dating for men is pretty much a competition and makes you think of dating as winning or losing and keeping score instead of experiences. Don't like it? Don't play the game. I still think just slowly going from keeping eye contact, to saying "hi" to asking "how are you" to having conversations with actual real life women is the way more rewarding path for any man. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
And then when you do commit, honesty and openness just is there automatically as you operate on similar wavelengths, your values etc. align | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
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farvacola
United States18857 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
But still counts, I'm a sex badass renegade for life now officially | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45937 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
She was like "oh look you have ingrown hair too"? And that was that, because it was just one thingy in an area where I shave. Actually might have been from a public pool, Sauna etc. as I was going to those weekly at the time. Now this week I go get a mole checked, and while I was there I asked what to do with the ingrown hairs. The Doc was like "this ain't no ingrown hair, that's hpv, there's gonna be blood and scraping dawg ASAP" | ||
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farvacola
United States18857 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45937 Posts
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