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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On May 15 2016 07:47 RaiZ wrote:
What do you mean by deaf in linguistical level ? I'm profoundly deaf. I can hear with an apparel, but I wouldn't be able to differentiate an A and a O if I wasn't reading in the lips. And also have some frequencies that don't work at all (can't really tell you which one though, sorry).
that frequency we use to talk doesnt work well and especially I cannot hear nonvocal letters like s, t, z, v, f, sch. I cannot hear the difference between schwein (pig) and wein (wine) or auto (car) and autos (cars). Only reading the lips can help me perfectly (I dont need audio at all) what you said.
I even dont hear a single word if I am in a loud place like restaurant or disco. Side noise are too loud if I want to hear some words. Even when I talk to one person at table with 4 persons.
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On May 15 2016 10:52 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On May 15 2016 08:59 ragnasaur wrote:
Deafness can be viewed as a positive thing, especially in regard to relationships with women.
While I am not deaf, I do feel like I have my personal handicaps with relationships, as many other people have. It's like that book The Outsiders. The grass always looks greener on the other side. Could you please elaborate on how a hearing disability would be beneficial when dating women? Besides the obvious low-hanging fruit of a joke about how it'd be easier to "listen" to them yap incessantly? Since I really don't think that happens lol.
It can be nice the way feminine hands move when they sign.
On May 15 2016 11:35 RaiZ wrote:
Yeah dude thanks but just... No. I don't believe that crap. While I agree there are far worse things to happen to someone, I'm really glad I only have this handicap. But still, it sucks. You simply don't realize it, that's like telling someone that you can have fun without drinking. Or run without your shoes. Having this handicap really does suck.
Only way I think I can have a shoot would be getting a little buffer, and money. Lot of money. Too bad I didn't start poker earlier.
I know where you're coming from brotha, I feel handicapped too sometimes. I also think that people make first impressions rather quickly and often without even talking to someone. And often after spending a few minutes with someone has an even deeper impression. I feel like any man with confidence and a personality has a good chance with women. And someone who bases their relationships on things other than personality probably isn't someone you want to attract in the first place.
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How many girls have you dated the past year RaiZ?
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Here comes bloodwhore with the numbers game
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On May 15 2016 16:27 Kleinmuuhg wrote:
Here comes bloodwhore with the numbers game
I think it's a valid question given that he seem to half given up / thinks women are hypocrits.
If the sample size is small you can't really say that much about about most women being hypcrits and he might have just been unlucky. However if he has gone on 50 dates and his experience tells him that it's because of him being deaf things are not going well, then maybe he should change up his method of dating.
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On May 15 2016 11:35 RaiZ wrote:Show nested quote +On May 15 2016 08:24 Mikau wrote:On May 15 2016 04:21 RaiZ wrote:On May 15 2016 02:15 bloodwhore~ wrote:I'm getting really tired of the dates. Everytime I encounter them in real life, they end up not texting me back because of my handicap. Welcome to the world of hypocrits. What do you mean by "the world of hypocrits"? Do you mean that the women you date say that they have no problem with you being deaf yet when you do go on dates that is not the case? I'm assuming you tell them you are deaf before you go on the date? That's exactly this. Otherwise I'd not call them hypocrites. Concerning your second point I'd not see any problems dating a deaf girl but sometimes I'd like to know if it's possible to have a relationship with someone who doesn't necessarily share the same handicap (more preferably a normal one because I'd been raised in normal schools all my life. I've tried a deaf school but that didn't last long because we didn't share the same world, at all). How sure are you that it's the deafness that's causing them to turn you down? Maybe you're hiding behind the deafness as a reason not to accept that there's something else that's holding you back? I don't see any other reason except maybe the tone of my voice ? But I highly doubt it because you'd obviously see it, especially after all the years you've been seeing in the behavior of the humankind with your eyes only. Or maybe because it's my belly ? But it's hardly noticeable no matter how good the girls are at guessing through the clothes you wear.
Sorry but this made me laugh pretty hard, you mention this elaborate shallow response of human kind.
And then totally murder the post with
Or maybe because it's my belly ?
:D
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On May 15 2016 16:42 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On May 15 2016 16:27 Kleinmuuhg wrote:
Here comes bloodwhore with the numbers game I think it's a valid question given that he seem to half given up / thinks women are hypocrits. If the sample size is small you can't really say that much about about most women being hypcrits and he might have just been unlucky. However if he has gone on 50 dates and his experience tells him that it's because of him being deaf things are not going well, then maybe he should change up his method of dating.
Dunno really, not much over the years (what did you expect anyway ?). If I've to say dates and only the dates, then probably less than 10. I refuse to believe I'm unlucky, because they all tends to go the same way. I'm more interested about how you think I can change the method of dating. Right now, my confidence isn't great so I'm not ready for another date... More like every time I'm dating, you get the same results and then it gets more and more depressing.
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I need some help I feel like I lost my mojo, used to have hot chicks with me all the time now I feel like chicks don't even wanna fuck with me..... blah! Someone bless me lol
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On May 14 2016 21:45 DickMcFanny wrote:Show nested quote +On May 14 2016 20:54 Biff The Understudy wrote:On May 14 2016 18:49 DickMcFanny wrote:
I realise it must be difficult being deaf and dating, but the reason women don't want relationships with you is probably not that you're deaf.
The thing is, relationships like you want are extremely rare and getting rarer. Women have finally caught up to men when it comes to being shallow and commitment-phobic, so the game has changed. Now it's about how much pleasure you can get in the short term against how much effort you have to put in.
This is a bit more difficult for men because traditionally, they got their emotional support from their spouse whereas women have traditionally been better at making emotional bonds with friends and family. At some point they realised that they didn't want to have a second, unpaid job in the form of a needy partner / husband anymore.
In my view, a lot of the vitriol towards feminism stems from the fact that women demand something that is completely reasonable but that men are not equipped to give up.
So my advice is: try getting your emotional support from your friends and family, and from yourself. Everything a spouse can do, a selection of friends can do better. I tried to think about what you said, but I can't relate it to anything I've observed. If I have observed something, it's rather many married couples where the man is hanging out with his mates drinking beer, skying and partying while the wife is craving for support, love and attention that is just not being given. I almost always had relationship with girls or women who were giving more love attention and support than I was able to return (though I've grown up a bit and it's changing). I think there is no such thing as "men do this, women do that". Everyone is different and every relationship functions differently. If anything, those balance depends of the milieu, the culture, and the type of sensitivity of individuals involved. Do you still live in France?
No, in Norway, why?
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On May 16 2016 02:30 RaiZ wrote:
Dunno really, not much over the years (what did you expect anyway ?). If I've to say dates and only the dates, then probably less than 10. I refuse to believe I'm unlucky, because they all tends to go the same way. I'm more interested about how you think I can change the method of dating. Right now, my confidence isn't great so I'm not ready for another date... More like every time I'm dating, you get the same results and then it gets more and more depressing.
I agree that it isn't really about you being unlucky, I definitely think many will react badly. However if we would look it from a statistical view, lets say 5-10% are fine with you being deaf, others react like you are know them to. Then if you have dated less than 10 people the chance of one of them being okay with it is fairly low, so maybe you should just ramp up your numbers. I personally think it's hard to bond well with people even though I don't have any disabilities. I mean I went on my 14th date the past year (last one was 20 minutes ago). And I'm not even sure this one went that great.
As for the method, I was just thinking seeking out other deaf girls etc.
On May 16 2016 03:56 GGzerG wrote:
I need some help I feel like I lost my mojo, used to have hot chicks with me all the time now I feel like chicks don't even wanna fuck with me..... blah! Someone bless me lol
You remind me of this rogue, at 2.10 www.veoh.com. "I am extremely skilled. I used to beat everyone! Now I can't beat anyone.".
Maybe the girls who were attracted to you have grown up and are looking for something else. I would just say start dating more girls and you'll eventually get back to it.
I bloodwhore~, bless you.
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On May 16 2016 02:30 RaiZ wrote:Show nested quote +On May 15 2016 16:42 bloodwhore~ wrote:On May 15 2016 16:27 Kleinmuuhg wrote:
Here comes bloodwhore with the numbers game I think it's a valid question given that he seem to half given up / thinks women are hypocrits. If the sample size is small you can't really say that much about about most women being hypcrits and he might have just been unlucky. However if he has gone on 50 dates and his experience tells him that it's because of him being deaf things are not going well, then maybe he should change up his method of dating. Dunno really, not much over the years (what did you expect anyway ?). If I've to say dates and only the dates, then probably less than 10. I refuse to believe I'm unlucky, because they all tends to go the same way. I'm more interested about how you think I can change the method of dating. Right now, my confidence isn't great so I'm not ready for another date... More like every time I'm dating, you get the same results and then it gets more and more depressing.
There's also nothing hypocrit about having no problems in the abstract, but no practical experience interacting with deaf people. Going on a date, and realizing that it's actually quite hard to deal with in real life. Sucks, and makes yet another aspect of life harder. But calling the girl a hypocrit for underestimating the effort she had no experience with is a bit harsh.
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What's your stance on having you gf on social media, relationship status and posting them couple-y photos guys?
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On May 17 2016 20:45 LemOn wrote:
What's your stance on having you gf on social media, relationship status and posting them couple-y photos guys?
I do all that even more than she does  There are plenty of moments in our relationship that we keep private, but we like to share our enjoyment and happiness and our friends are largely supportive. Conversely, I know other couples that like to keep almost their entire relationship private/ on the down low, and that's fine for them. I think it largely depends on the couples' personality; I don't feel like you need to necessarily be overly public or overly private (unless you're trying to keep a relationship secret from family or bosses, I guess).
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On May 17 2016 20:45 LemOn wrote:
What's your stance on having you gf on social media, relationship status and posting them couple-y photos guys?
Well I would obviously be friends with her on facebook, I like messenger way more than normal sms. Relationship status, definitely.
I dislike being center of attention though so I personally wouldn't post couple-y photos, I'd be fine if she wanted to do it once in a while though.
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I don't post couple-y photos, and neither does my gf. It's also not something I "like" if it pops by on my timeline. Not that I look at my timeline a lot in any case, because it's full of junk.
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I don't mind posting a picture or two after a trip together or other special moments. What I really dislike is the spam some couples put out, such as posting pictures of what they eat every god damn day: "AT BURGERSHACK WITH MY BOOOO! #burgers #boo" kinda bullshit.
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On May 18 2016 07:18 Titusmaster6 wrote:
I don't mind posting a picture or two after a trip together or other special moments. What I really dislike is the spam some couples put out, such as posting pictures of what they eat every god damn day: "AT BURGERSHACK WITH MY BOOOO! #burgers #boo" kinda bullshit.
You mean like this?
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/RXEQQlu.jpg)
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social media is gross just delete your facebook
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On May 18 2016 14:33 IgnE wrote:
social media is gross just delete your facebook
If you're in university and want to get an idea of what events are going on you kinda need facebook. At least where I live. Most information channels are through facebook these days.
Also, how are you going to stalk without facebook? 
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On May 18 2016 15:47 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On May 18 2016 14:33 IgnE wrote:
social media is gross just delete your facebook If you're in university and want to get an idea of what events are going on you kinda need facebook. At least where I live. Most information channels are through facebook these days. Also, how are you going to stalk without facebook?
![[image loading]](http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/81tmu9heu-L._SL1500_.jpg)
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EPT
