EPTbut actually
#freesixstrings
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 818
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8915 Posts
but actually #freesixstrings | ||
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Grumbels
Netherlands7032 Posts
On April 01 2016 04:18 farvacola wrote: A lot of people don't even put their last name on Facebook anymore, it really sounds like you have enough to at least do some sleuthing. Is that a trend? I noticed some people do it in my friend list the last year. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46246 Posts
On April 03 2016 23:16 Grumbels wrote: Is that a trend? I noticed some people do it in my friend list the last year. Some will put first + middle name (no last name) or do letter swaps or other things to make it a little harder to find them. I find that women do this more frequently than men. I still think it's just much more sensible to max out your privacy settings. | ||
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
On April 04 2016 01:56 waffelz wrote: Or just simply don't use facebook/make sure there is nothing that you don't want others to see? Either it is me getting old, or people are really weird these days... It's the same reason cyberbullying is made as a bigger issue than it should be (and also to some extent, online "safe spaces" on places like Twitter). People put their ego before their safety and want to have both. | ||
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Ben...
Canada3485 Posts
I've been messaging her and talking to her (we work in the same building so I see her once in a while. That's how I met her. She apparently took an interest in me and started talking to me a bunch) quite a bit the last week or so and I've been getting that feeling more and more. Today she was chatting with me on Facebook and snapchat totally normal the whole day and then I think she misread a message I sent her and suddenly I'm getting the silent treatment. I'll just leave it be for tonight, and try talking to her tomorrow. If she keeps being weird over a simple message I'm done. I don't want to deal with that right now. edit: Nevermind, she just messaged me and apologized and said she misread what I said. I guess maybe I'm just overthinking. I'm still not used to all this. | ||
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
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Ben...
Canada3485 Posts
On April 05 2016 12:04 WarSame wrote: First thoughts are normally what they are for a reason. Go for it, but remember to be wary. Yeah, I am definitely being wary. She's very sweet but there's some things about her I'm not sure about. I'll see how she is the next week or two. On the one hand, she's incredibly easy to talk to and communicating with her has not been an issue (we can talk literally all day. We have more than once now). On the other hand, her personality is the polar opposite of mine, she's insanely outgoing and I'm very shy (she thinks my shyness is really cute. She's told me as much), which could become an issue. However, she does seem to take all my weird personality quirks in stride. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46246 Posts
On April 05 2016 11:52 Ben... wrote: Having second thoughts about that girl I asked out last week. We were gonna go out this weekend but I might call it off. She's a really nice girl, really pretty, and has a great personality but I'm getting the feeling she's really drama-y, and that's not something I want to deal with right now given that I'm already dealing with one of my parents being really sick. I've been messaging her and talking to her (we work in the same building so I see her once in a while. That's how I met her. She apparently took an interest in me and started talking to me a bunch) quite a bit the last week or so and I've been getting that feeling more and more. Today she was chatting with me on Facebook and snapchat totally normal the whole day and then I think she misread a message I sent her and suddenly I'm getting the silent treatment. I'll just leave it be for tonight, and try talking to her tomorrow. If she keeps being weird over a simple message I'm done. I don't want to deal with that right now. edit: Nevermind, she just messaged me and apologized and said she misread what I said. I guess maybe I'm just overthinking. I'm still not used to all this. The fact that she owned up to her misreading of your message and apologized is a good sign imo. She's not too proud or bitchy or stuck-up to admit when she's wrong I guess. Sounds like the weekend date might be worth it after all  Good luck! | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On April 05 2016 12:17 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: The fact that she owned up to her misreading of your message and apologized is a good sign imo. She's not too proud or bitchy or stuck-up to admit when she's wrong I guess. Sounds like the weekend date might be worth it after all Good luck! She recognized her fault and apologized. A keeper imo :p | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46246 Posts
On April 05 2016 17:28 LemOn wrote: Why on earth would you message and snapchat her when you talk to her IRL alot before your date Because there is more than one way to communicate with someone in the year 2016 On April 05 2016 17:30 LemOn wrote: If I were you I'd stop all chat contact at once and only setup and go on dates, seeing her casually in your building is more than enough It appears like they're getting to know each other through multiple forms of communication (both in person and away). Unless one form continuously leads to stress/ strain/ miscommunication, why should they stop? Purposely not talking with someone can sometimes be seen as being careful, but can also come off as being avoidant or uninterested. If you like to message someone and they like to message you, then message each other! | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Not sure how can it ever come off as being either careful or avoiding or uninterested? You obviously honestly tell her she attracts you and that you'd love hear all about all she has to say when you see her, in person, so you can really listen to her. So many people are robbing themselves of most of the stories expressed through tone of voice and body language where the mutual chemistry starts working - having actual conversations instead of purely fun teasy stuff over text is really bad for how having an exciting relationship I mean for crying out loud - he almost called off the date just because of miscommunication, and it got weird where she was forced to apologise even before they went on one date - what more evidence you want? | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46246 Posts
On April 06 2016 03:46 LemOn wrote: You gain nothing with chatting, she won't like you more and vice versa, and it's really unsustainable long run to keep it up the same way. And already there's been miscommunication. Not sure how can it ever come off as being either careful or avoiding or uninterested? You obviously honestly tell her she attracts you and that you'd love hear all about all she has to say when you see her, in person, so you can really listen to her. So many people are robbing themselves of most of the stories expressed through tone of voice and body language where the mutual chemistry starts working - having actual conversations over text is really bad for how having an exciting relationship I mean for crying out loud - he almost called off the date just because of miscommunication, what more evidence you want? I think chatting and casual conversation from time to time is a great way to get to know a person better through the little things/ day-to-day events. It also takes some pressure off of you during dates if you're bad at starting conversations/ never know what to talk about/ it sounds forced or faked or more like an interview. You can always bring up/ build off of things you talked about casually via text or phone. Basically, it can keep conversations going and mitigate potential awkwardness. If you see a person every day and can spend time with them every day, then it certainly isn't as important to fill up the other time with updates via texts from them (since you'll see them very soon), but not everyone is that lucky (and it may not make sense to try and privately see someone every day if you're just starting to date them). I'm not saying that it's a requirement to have not-in-person conversations with someone you're interested in, but it's certainly the norm and I think it can be very effective. Basically, I wouldn't make it "a rule" to refuse to communicate with them outside of private time, which is what it seems you're saying. | ||
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
You gain nothing with chatting, she won't like you more and vice versa, and it's really unsustainable long run to keep it up the same way. And already there's been miscommunication. BS. Everyone is different and as long as the contact isn't exclusively chatting this is just wrong. And even if it is only chatting there is proof that it can be enough (even though I know this is the exception). So many people are robbing themselves of most of the stories expressed through tone of voice and body language where the mutual chemistry starts working - having actual conversations instead of purely fun teasy stuff over text is really bad for how having an exciting relationship Again, I have to disagree. Even though it is an exception again, as a former student of languages I have to object. Just like tone of voice/physical expressions and vice versa have their advantages, written language does so too, they are just harder to bring to light. And welcome back from the | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46246 Posts
On April 06 2016 04:36 IgnE wrote: Can Lemon be both right and wrong? And thus, Schrodinger's Lemon was born. | ||
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Ben...
Canada3485 Posts
Communication is not my concern with her. Most of my concerns are about personality stuff. | ||
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
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