EPTNot chatting between dates would for sure hurt the relationship, rather than make it better.
We still have lots of things to talk about on the actual dates.
Not everyone is like you/your gf, Lemon.
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 819
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Laurens
Belgium4558 Posts
Not chatting between dates would for sure hurt the relationship, rather than make it better. We still have lots of things to talk about on the actual dates. Not everyone is like you/your gf, Lemon. | ||
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herokiller_
92 Posts
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
On April 06 2016 17:12 herokiller_ wrote: Guys who ever started dating an old friend, could you share your experience and how it turned out? It ended with me losing the friend. The thing to remember is that you can't ever let yourself (or her) take that initial friendship for granted. | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On April 07 2016 01:07 [UoN]Sentinel wrote: It ended with me losing the friend. The thing to remember is that you can't ever let yourself (or her) take that initial friendship for granted. Same here. She broke my heart  . I always liked her so I guess it wasn't a genuine friendship though. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46673 Posts
On April 07 2016 01:12 GoTuNk! wrote: Same here. She broke my heart . I always liked her so I guess it wasn't a genuine friendship though.Nearly all of my female friends are girls I'm attracted to at some non-platonic level. It's easy for me to not obsess over them because I'm so happy in my relationship, but I personally find it very difficult to not romanticize things. | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On April 07 2016 09:01 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: Nearly all of my female friends are girls I'm attracted to at some non-platonic level. It's easy for me to not obsess over them because I'm so happy in my relationship, but I personally find it very difficult to not romanticize things. Nowadays the only girls I consider friends are my buddies gf's. That way I'm attracted to them as much as I'm attracted to a chair. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46673 Posts
On April 07 2016 09:20 GoTuNk! wrote: Nowadays the only girls I consider friends are my buddies gf's. That way I'm attracted to them as much as I'm attracted to a chair. You got some ugly buddies if they're dating the equivalent of office furniture. | ||
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farvacola
United States18874 Posts
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Titusmaster6
United States5937 Posts
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herokiller_
92 Posts
On April 07 2016 01:07 [UoN]Sentinel wrote: It ended with me losing the friend. The thing to remember is that you can't ever let yourself (or her) take that initial friendship for granted. Could you elaborate more on this? | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46673 Posts
I don't want to put words in Sentinel's mouth, but that statement he made resonated with me, as I interpreted it to mean something along the lines of "Realize that you're risking a friendship by making a move. Sometimes it's worth it, but weigh the pros and cons because there's a serious chance that you can't just reset your relationship back to "platonic"... you might lose her both as a romantic partner and as a friend or confidant." | ||
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herokiller_
92 Posts
On April 07 2016 01:12 GoTuNk! wrote: I always liked her same here I guess, though I don't think friendship was not genuine On April 07 2016 01:12 GoTuNk! wrote: She broke my heart . Would you mind telling more? | ||
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herokiller_
92 Posts
On April 07 2016 13:12 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: I don't want to put words in Sentinel's mouth, but that statement he made resonated with me, as I interpreted it to mean something along the lines of "Realize that you're risking a friendship by making a move. Sometimes it's worth it, but weigh the pros and cons because there's a serious chance that you can't just reset your relationship back to "platonic"... you might lose her both as a romantic partner and as a friend or confidant." Well, that I'm already aware of, and the move was already made | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On April 06 2016 16:15 Laurens wrote: I chat with my gf all the time. Not chatting between dates would for sure hurt the relationship, rather than make it better. We still have lots of things to talk about on the actual dates. Not everyone is like you/your gf, Lemon. With GF it's different, she's head over heels in love with you, you have great sex, honest communication, your values are aligned, and she's never getting enough time with you - it almost doesn't matter what you do away from dates because the attraction and compatibility is so high. It's different in the firsts few months and all I can say is when you start dating or when things aren't as good as you'd want them to be just give it a try - use phone and social media only for setting up dates in a cute way, and see what happens. Until you have you won't know how big of a difference it makes. | ||
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Acrofales
Spain18487 Posts
On April 06 2016 14:42 [UoN]Sentinel wrote: Three dates with three girls this weekend. Might be a record for me. Try to make it one date with three girls and see what develops *wink wink nudge nudge* | ||
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mahrgell
Germany3943 Posts
On April 07 2016 19:57 Acrofales wrote: Try to make it one date with three girls and see what develops *wink wink nudge nudge* He surely meant, he had 3 dates with 3 girls each! :D Question remains if it were always the same girls, or different ones making it 9 in total! | ||
[Phantom]
Mexico2170 Posts
I've been going out with this girl since late February. She is the girl I've liked the most in my life. I know her since 3 years ago. We stopped seeing each other for a year and a half though. She was the one that got away I guess, but we had feelings for each other. We meet again and shee broke up with her boyfriend for me basically in January but even though we were going out and kissing she said she needed more time to put herself together. I have no doubts that this was true. It was all going well, it was like a dream to me, finally being able to be with and kiss her. In the past few weeks I could feel how she was falling more in love with me, we talked more, hanged out more and that kind of stuff. That is until two weeks ago. Her birthday was two weeks ago and I had prepared something for her and I told her. But..she didn't wanted to see me. She didn't say it but everytime I brought of the topic she would change topics or said she had homework or something. This frustrated me as what I had prepared was honestly amazing..so we didn't saw each other last week and I noticed her acting strange. She was colder, she took longer to answer even though she was online. We were supposed to see each other yesterday but we didn't. So I asked her what was wrong. She said nothing in particular at first, but after an hour or so of talking and after me saying how much I wanted to see her she told me we needed to talk about some stuff. And then she told me. Someone was flirting with her, she said she didn't notice at first but it was very obvious right now and that it wasn't supposed to be happening. I said that it was normal that people flirt with you or you find them attractive, but it is what you do with that that matters. I asked what she felt and she said that...she found this person not handsome but atractive in a way and that she liked the ideas and plans and all. She said she found this person annoying two weeks ago, but now she got nervous when she received messages from it. I was...devastated. Could she be considering leaving me after everything we've been though? For a peson she found annoying one week ago? Without giving me a fair chance of being her boyfriend? And then she said it..this person was a woman. A woman is flirting with her and she finds her..atractive. She said she doesn't really know what she is feeling, that she isn't sure she likes her. She is confused. And I just feel like shit. I've been sad and heartbroken before, but this is different. She hasn't decided yet what to do...but I'm not sure what I must do. O obviously told her to give me a chance and to not leave all of this behind for something like that. I'm sure she isn't a lesbian, or at least haven't been until this point so I told her this might just be a doubt period about her sexuality, which I've had before but left behind. And that we should see each other in person. But from the fact that she said this girl doesnt even know that I exist but she did tell me about her I feel I am osing this one. Everything was going so well... And now I don't know what to do. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Also I don't see how asking for a chance not leaving things behind is obvious - she is feeling right there in the moment, past doesn't really matter and you should hear her out, in person, really understand her POV tell her what you want and leave her space to figure it out for herself. And that's all you can do here, period, no amount of rationalizing or logic or pushing will help you. Scrap the birthday plans, tell her what you want and how you feel about her and then tell her she should take some time and when she figures it all out to tell you when she's free to meet in person. And given that this is a lot for her to go through prepare to be really patient. If you won't do that for her it's probably time to move on. | ||
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
On April 07 2016 20:32 mahrgell wrote: He surely meant, he had 3 dates with 3 girls each! :D Question remains if it were always the same girls, or different ones making it 9 in total! TRINITY TRINITY TRINITY | ||
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