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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On March 28 2016 07:35 IgnE wrote:Show nested quote +On March 28 2016 07:02 Morfildur wrote:On March 28 2016 06:27 mahrgell wrote:
You sounded like you were looking for something lasting longer than a week. Why would you even consider tinder for that? There are certainly better Online Dating platforms than tinder for that (in Germany), if you decided to try the online route.
But yes, in the end it all comes down to your profile... And especially when you are aiming at longer lasting relationships, you should not try to score too high on the "generic guy" scale, but instead focus on what you feel makes yourself interesting and special. If this causes 90% of the profile viewers to rate you 1/10 and makes the other 10% interested this is much better than scoring 6/10 for each one. Especially as you now know, that the other one is indeed interested in something you can deliver now and in the future without acting. I know there are other online dating sites. I've programmed some of them, which is why I don't trust online dating at all. I've seen the *real* statistics. Tinder was pretty much a "meh, why not?" thing anyways. I don't really expect anything coming from it. I just found it funny that the only actual match I've got was one that totally didn't fit. What are the real statistics?
Well, across our 20-30 dating websites spanning a few million users (all Germany/Austria/Switzerland), the female quota was 4%, most of them being inactive, despite all of them being free for women and subscription based for men. True, that was mostly adult dating, but even the sites made specifically for women were complete flops. The people I've talked to, that were in the dating website business for years, told me that it's pretty similar for any dating website, women just rarely sign up. Which is why most dating websites have complex bots that do their best to emulate users, have callcenter agents that reply to messages (btw, by german law they have to say the truth when you ask them whether they are callcenter agents) and all the other stuff to make it seem like there are actually women to date.
We had a huge ruleset with predefined texts for specific events, e.g. "Hey, I just saw you in the online list" and users never getting the same text twice and only getting X messages a day and from profiles from his region. All refined over a decade of experimentation.
I've seen enough to never again trust any dating website.
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On March 27 2016 23:02 Morfildur wrote:After a month on Tinder I finally get one match. Turns out she's looking for someone religious and I'm absolutely agnostic. Well, that's my luck in a nutshell. Maybe next month I'll get another match - who will probably absolutely despise video games or something 
or you know
stop wasting time?
imagine all the time you had tinder open spent talking to actual real life women
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Also I've been a real jerk to my gf
I was feeling really tired, turned out I've had stomach flu, right after I've gone off regular flu and on top of that I stressed myself unnecessarily about this new project at work and my thoughts were super negative that day, so much so that I just stopped talking on our day long date (which was awesome btw), it was great just listening to her asking a question here and there, she's just so lively and didn't mind one bit. And then at night I got super pushy/needy/emotional/whiny, told her she hit a nerve from the past with something pretty cool she did (bed stuff) on paper, started rambling about how It brought up my low self-worth from the past.
I regained my normal brain when I walked her to her bus, just focusing on her stories from work, telling stories, jokes...focusing on the present moment. But I could still feel she was disappointed.
Then the same night she texted me she thanked me for walking her over text. And yesterday she asked me if I can meet her in town, I said I'm too sick to leave the flat for too long. And then my cat heard a noise, I thought it was my sister, but later my GF calls me "do you think I'm a stalker?" "Sure, the most loveable stalker ever"
"Well look behind your door"
She asked a neighbour to get into the house, and with her assistance left this cool Apple strudel behind my flat door. And then she and neighbour panicked and ran when they heard a noise from the inside <3
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On March 28 2016 23:32 LemOn wrote:
Also I've been a real jerk to my gf
I was feeling really tired, turned out I've had stomach flu, right after I've gone off regular flu and on top of that I stressed myself unnecessarily about this new project at work and my thoughts were super negative that day, so much so that I just stopped talking on our day long date (which was awesome btw), it was great just listening to her asking a question here and there, she's just so lively and didn't mind one bit. And then at night I got super pushy/needy/emotional/whiny, told her she hit a nerve from the past with something pretty cool she did (bed stuff) on paper, started rambling about how It brought up my low self-worth from the past.
I regained my normal brain when I walked her to her bus, just focusing on her stories from work, telling stories, jokes...focusing on the present moment. But I could still feel she was disappointed.
Then the same night she texted me she thanked me for walking her over text. And yesterday she asked me if I can meet her in town, I said I'm too sick to leave the flat for too long. And then my cat heard a noise, I thought it was my sister, but later my GF calls me "do you think I'm a stalker?" "Sure, the most loveable stalker ever"
"Well look behind your door"
She asked a neighbour to get into the house, and with her assistance left this cool Apple strudel behind my flat door. And then she and neighbour panicked and ran when they heard a noise from the inside <3
That's adorable. Glad she knows where the line is, in another context that apple strudel would've been a lot creepier.
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On March 28 2016 23:48 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:Show nested quote +On March 28 2016 23:32 LemOn wrote:
Also I've been a real jerk to my gf
I was feeling really tired, turned out I've had stomach flu, right after I've gone off regular flu and on top of that I stressed myself unnecessarily about this new project at work and my thoughts were super negative that day, so much so that I just stopped talking on our day long date (which was awesome btw), it was great just listening to her asking a question here and there, she's just so lively and didn't mind one bit. And then at night I got super pushy/needy/emotional/whiny, told her she hit a nerve from the past with something pretty cool she did (bed stuff) on paper, started rambling about how It brought up my low self-worth from the past.
I regained my normal brain when I walked her to her bus, just focusing on her stories from work, telling stories, jokes...focusing on the present moment. But I could still feel she was disappointed.
Then the same night she texted me she thanked me for walking her over text. And yesterday she asked me if I can meet her in town, I said I'm too sick to leave the flat for too long. And then my cat heard a noise, I thought it was my sister, but later my GF calls me "do you think I'm a stalker?" "Sure, the most loveable stalker ever"
"Well look behind your door"
She asked a neighbour to get into the house, and with her assistance left this cool Apple strudel behind my flat door. And then she and neighbour panicked and ran when they heard a noise from the inside <3 That's adorable. Glad she knows where the line is, in another context that apple strudel would've been a lot creepier.
Really? In what context is your gf baking you an apple strudel creepy?
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On March 28 2016 23:59 Acrofales wrote:Show nested quote +On March 28 2016 23:48 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:On March 28 2016 23:32 LemOn wrote:
Also I've been a real jerk to my gf
I was feeling really tired, turned out I've had stomach flu, right after I've gone off regular flu and on top of that I stressed myself unnecessarily about this new project at work and my thoughts were super negative that day, so much so that I just stopped talking on our day long date (which was awesome btw), it was great just listening to her asking a question here and there, she's just so lively and didn't mind one bit. And then at night I got super pushy/needy/emotional/whiny, told her she hit a nerve from the past with something pretty cool she did (bed stuff) on paper, started rambling about how It brought up my low self-worth from the past.
I regained my normal brain when I walked her to her bus, just focusing on her stories from work, telling stories, jokes...focusing on the present moment. But I could still feel she was disappointed.
Then the same night she texted me she thanked me for walking her over text. And yesterday she asked me if I can meet her in town, I said I'm too sick to leave the flat for too long. And then my cat heard a noise, I thought it was my sister, but later my GF calls me "do you think I'm a stalker?" "Sure, the most loveable stalker ever"
"Well look behind your door"
She asked a neighbour to get into the house, and with her assistance left this cool Apple strudel behind my flat door. And then she and neighbour panicked and ran when they heard a noise from the inside <3 That's adorable. Glad she knows where the line is, in another context that apple strudel would've been a lot creepier. Really? In what context is your gf baking you an apple strudel creepy?
I don't know, having my neighbor sneak into my house to deliver it would be off to me if I wasn't that close to my gf.
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On March 27 2016 09:52 QuanticHawk wrote:Show nested quote +On March 27 2016 06:34 Laurens wrote:
I voted yes.
Though of course there is the addendum: If the relationship ended by your ex cheating on you, the pics are going on r/gonewild first. Show nested quote +On March 26 2016 17:05 B.I.G. wrote:
No because if your dumb enough to take pictures like that you deserve to have them plastered all over the internet. these are two stupid ass posts even by the standards set forth in this thread
As pointed out already, it was quite clearly a joke.
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On March 29 2016 00:38 Laurens wrote:Show nested quote +On March 27 2016 09:52 QuanticHawk wrote:On March 27 2016 06:34 Laurens wrote:
I voted yes.
Though of course there is the addendum: If the relationship ended by your ex cheating on you, the pics are going on r/gonewild first. On March 26 2016 17:05 B.I.G. wrote:
No because if your dumb enough to take pictures like that you deserve to have them plastered all over the internet. these are two stupid ass posts even by the standards set forth in this thread As pointed out already, it was quite clearly a joke.
Naturally.
r/gonewild is a little too permanent, someone with a lot of time on their hands could probably figure out who your ex is.
It should be done on 4chan instead.
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On March 29 2016 00:11 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:Show nested quote +On March 28 2016 23:59 Acrofales wrote:On March 28 2016 23:48 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:On March 28 2016 23:32 LemOn wrote:
Also I've been a real jerk to my gf
I was feeling really tired, turned out I've had stomach flu, right after I've gone off regular flu and on top of that I stressed myself unnecessarily about this new project at work and my thoughts were super negative that day, so much so that I just stopped talking on our day long date (which was awesome btw), it was great just listening to her asking a question here and there, she's just so lively and didn't mind one bit. And then at night I got super pushy/needy/emotional/whiny, told her she hit a nerve from the past with something pretty cool she did (bed stuff) on paper, started rambling about how It brought up my low self-worth from the past.
I regained my normal brain when I walked her to her bus, just focusing on her stories from work, telling stories, jokes...focusing on the present moment. But I could still feel she was disappointed.
Then the same night she texted me she thanked me for walking her over text. And yesterday she asked me if I can meet her in town, I said I'm too sick to leave the flat for too long. And then my cat heard a noise, I thought it was my sister, but later my GF calls me "do you think I'm a stalker?" "Sure, the most loveable stalker ever"
"Well look behind your door"
She asked a neighbour to get into the house, and with her assistance left this cool Apple strudel behind my flat door. And then she and neighbour panicked and ran when they heard a noise from the inside <3 That's adorable. Glad she knows where the line is, in another context that apple strudel would've been a lot creepier. Really? In what context is your gf baking you an apple strudel creepy? I don't know, having my neighbor sneak into my house to deliver it would be off to me if I wasn't that close to my gf.
Haha yeah, imagine you date a chick for a couple weeks it would be one of the reddest flags possible if she'd sneak into your house to leave something behind your flat's door then running away.
But I do stuff like send her letters with a postcard and these coins with from places I go visit.
And I told her about the time when I got a tulip and waited for an hour in the cold at a tram stop because she might be going there after work to surprise her without telling her only to throw it away when I didn't catch her. So I guess I kinda started with this creepy stuff and now it's a pattern between us, we kinda stalk each other.
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Well, I'm coming to terms with the fact that I suck at the dating game. I can't make enough casual physical contact(kino?) and I don't really push the envelope anywhere, although I've gotten good at talking. Does anyone know good date locations along the GO line west of Toronto?
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I feel like once you've secured a date with a girl, it matters less where you go and more of what you do. Nearly any location could be good or bad. Practice makes perfect
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Holy shit I actually asked a girl out and she said yes and she's way out of my league and what the hell is going on? I'm kind of in shock.
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On March 31 2016 14:44 Ben... wrote:
Holy shit I actually asked a girl out and she said yes and she's way out of my league and what the hell is going on? I'm kind of in shock.
Well done, taking that chance You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
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Don't worry you have plenty of time to fuck it up still.
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On March 31 2016 16:06 IgnE wrote:
Don't worry you have plenty of time to fuck it up still.
Who cares
She said yes, great success
Although even thinking "out of my league" is a learning point.
You fit together well or not, nothing else matters.
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Guys, if you remember, sometime ago I wrote about being friendzoned by an old friend (girl).
Most of you and myself came to the conclusion that after such a long time if she wasn't actually interested in me romantically, then I was actually NOT HER TYPE AT ALL.
Since then I kept everything as it was (and I was okay with that)
Well, now suddenly she offered to try to date. W. T. F.
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On March 31 2016 19:14 herokiller_ wrote:
Guys, if you remember, sometime ago I wrote about being friendzoned by an old friend (girl).
Most of you and myself came to the conclusion that after such a long time if she wasn't actually interested in me romantically, then I was actually NOT HER TYPE AT ALL.
Since then I kept everything as it was (and I was okay with that)
Well, now suddenly she offered to try to date. W. T. F.
Bitches be crazy.
My advice if you still get a boner every time you touch her hair (Ansari's definition of a soulmate) is to tell her you don't want to complicate anything, let's go on on e date and see what happens, focus on the present moment.
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On March 31 2016 14:44 Ben... wrote:
Holy shit I actually asked a girl out and she said yes and she's way out of my league and what the hell is going on? I'm kind of in shock.
gl man get it!
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On March 31 2016 09:39 WarSame wrote:
Well, I'm coming to terms with the fact that I suck at the dating game. I can't make enough casual physical contact(kino?) and I don't really push the envelope anywhere, although I've gotten good at talking. Does anyone know good date locations along the GO line west of Toronto?
Pushing for physical contact when you're doing something else than just watching TV is rather hard to me as well. At least during first or second dates. Do you still think it's hard when you're chilling at home with the girl?
Holy shit I actually asked a girl out and she said yes and she's way out of my league and what the hell is going on? I'm kind of in shock.
Nice... Keep those thoughts at bay. Saw some TED talk the other day, where the most gorgeous women 10's got less people talking to them than the slightly less better looking women (7-8's). Just be confident and you'll do alright! Don't put her on a pedestal just because she is good looking.
Don't worry you have plenty of time to fuck it up still.
Always looking things from the positive side 
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Went to a meeting yesterday, met a cute girl, got her number, then come back home and realized I didn't save it. This is the 2nd time crap like this has happened. So fucking pissed. Anyone know of a way google contacts can retain the 'history' of writing a number?
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EPT
