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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
waffelz
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
Germany711 Posts
March 26 2016 23:49 GMT
#16281
Might be true in some cases, doesnt change the fact that the person doing so is wrong though. Not saying that the other person is a saint, but if you cheat, you are definitely not an honorable person as far as I'm concerned.
RIP "The big travis CS degree thread", taken from us too soon | Honourable forum princess, defended by Rebs-approved white knights
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32157 Posts
March 27 2016 00:52 GMT
#16282
On March 27 2016 06:34 Laurens wrote:
I voted yes.

Though of course there is the addendum: If the relationship ended by your ex cheating on you, the pics are going on r/gonewild first.

On March 26 2016 17:05 B.I.G. wrote:
No because if your dumb enough to take pictures like that you deserve to have them plastered all over the internet.


these are two stupid ass posts even by the standards set forth in this thread
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
GoTuNk!
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
Chile4591 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-03-27 01:31:54
March 27 2016 01:31 GMT
#16283
On March 27 2016 09:52 QuanticHawk wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 27 2016 06:34 Laurens wrote:
I voted yes.

Though of course there is the addendum: If the relationship ended by your ex cheating on you, the pics are going on r/gonewild first.

Show nested quote +
On March 26 2016 17:05 B.I.G. wrote:
No because if your dumb enough to take pictures like that you deserve to have them plastered all over the internet.


these are two stupid ass posts even by the standards set forth in this thread


I'm sorry you are ofended.

First post is clearly a joke and the second one a "don't be an idiot" warning.
Denia1
Profile Joined January 2011
148 Posts
March 27 2016 05:08 GMT
#16284
I don't see why people obsess about deleting the stuff asap. If you mutually agree to keep them and not make them public why not? Good memories...
Bomber, MC, Jaedong, Scarlett, Grubby, DeMuslim, fy, Super, n0tail, Illidan, Universe
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
March 27 2016 11:38 GMT
#16285
Alright, call me conservative or boring but I think it's quite short sighted to have digital copies of pictures / videos of you doing something that you wouldn't want your family or colleagues to see. A picture of you smoking a fat blunt might be cool when you are 16 but much less so when you are trying to build a career. A video of you fucking your girlfriend might be super hot a few years into the relationship but will become a liability once you break up and try to move on.


I am very happy that by the time Facebook became a thing where I grew up I understood that some things are best left as memories, because I think all bets are off as soon as said copies start making their way around.
mahrgell
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Germany3943 Posts
March 27 2016 11:53 GMT
#16286
On March 27 2016 20:38 B.I.G. wrote:
Alright, call me conservative or boring but I think it's quite short sighted to have digital copies of pictures / videos of you doing something that you wouldn't want your family or colleagues to see. A picture of you smoking a fat blunt might be cool when you are 16 but much less so when you are trying to build a career. A video of you fucking your girlfriend might be super hot a few years into the relationship but will become a liability once you break up and try to move on.


I am very happy that by the time Facebook became a thing where I grew up I understood that some things are best left as memories, because I think all bets are off as soon as said copies start making their way around.


... and thats why those "shortsighted people" deserve to get punished with a lesson for life!
Yeah, totally, teach 'em!

WTF?

Not that I would do it, or advise to create such pictures/videos... But if couples do it, it is their decision (you know, both of 'em...) and is usually based on the trust that should be the foundation of every relationship. And even if the relationship ends at some point, this does not suddenly mean you should be the biggest asshole in the world and try to make your ex's life as miserable as possible for stuff you did together.
Deleted User 101379
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
4849 Posts
March 27 2016 14:02 GMT
#16287
After a month on Tinder I finally get one match. Turns out she's looking for someone religious and I'm absolutely agnostic. Well, that's my luck in a nutshell. Maybe next month I'll get another match - who will probably absolutely despise video games or something
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
March 27 2016 16:41 GMT
#16288
On March 27 2016 23:02 Morfildur wrote:
After a month on Tinder I finally get one match. Turns out she's looking for someone religious and I'm absolutely agnostic. Well, that's my luck in a nutshell. Maybe next month I'll get another match - who will probably absolutely despise video games or something

DUUUUDE. You need to fix your profile if you get that few matches. I'm the tinder god in this bitch. Send a pm with your profile if you want help I'll give tips. Most likely you will need to take new photos.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32157 Posts
March 27 2016 17:52 GMT
#16289
On March 27 2016 20:38 B.I.G. wrote:
Alright, call me conservative or boring but I think it's quite short sighted to have digital copies of pictures / videos of you doing something that you wouldn't want your family or colleagues to see. A picture of you smoking a fat blunt might be cool when you are 16 but much less so when you are trying to build a career. A video of you fucking your girlfriend might be super hot a few years into the relationship but will become a liability once you break up and try to move on.


I am very happy that by the time Facebook became a thing where I grew up I understood that some things are best left as memories, because I think all bets are off as soon as said copies start making their way around.

short sighted yes, but the person who posts said things is a fucking asshole, period, and you're advocating that it is deserved
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
March 27 2016 19:14 GMT
#16290
this thread is facepalm after facepalm
Hates Fun🤔
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18866 Posts
March 27 2016 19:21 GMT
#16291
On March 28 2016 04:14 paper wrote:
this thread is facepalm after facepalm

While there are certainly cringe-worthy comments from time to time, this thread is actually full to the brim with useful anecdotes and advice relative to dating situations that can be difficult to comprehend by those in the midst of them.

That your comment carries with it a healthy does of recursive irony is not surprising.
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
March 27 2016 19:34 GMT
#16292
On March 28 2016 04:14 paper wrote:
this thread is facepalm after facepalm

Feel free to contribute with your immense knowledge!
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
Deleted User 101379
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
4849 Posts
March 27 2016 19:39 GMT
#16293
On March 28 2016 01:41 bloodwhore~ wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 27 2016 23:02 Morfildur wrote:
After a month on Tinder I finally get one match. Turns out she's looking for someone religious and I'm absolutely agnostic. Well, that's my luck in a nutshell. Maybe next month I'll get another match - who will probably absolutely despise video games or something

DUUUUDE. You need to fix your profile if you get that few matches. I'm the tinder god in this bitch. Send a pm with your profile if you want help I'll give tips. Most likely you will need to take new photos.


Nah, it's more that Tinder isn't that popular in Germany, especially not in the area I'm in. I have to go to something like a 100km distance to even see more than 5 profiles a day - and half of them are danish, because I'm 5km away from that border and Tinder doesn't know countries exist.
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
March 27 2016 19:57 GMT
#16294
On March 28 2016 04:39 Morfildur wrote:
Nah, it's more that Tinder isn't that popular in Germany, especially not in the area I'm in. I have to go to something like a 100km distance to even see more than 5 profiles a day - and half of them are danish, because I'm 5km away from that border and Tinder doesn't know countries exist.

Damn that sucks. Not much you can do then. You're not going to university any time soon?
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
Deleted User 101379
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
4849 Posts
March 27 2016 20:15 GMT
#16295
On March 28 2016 04:57 bloodwhore~ wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 28 2016 04:39 Morfildur wrote:
Nah, it's more that Tinder isn't that popular in Germany, especially not in the area I'm in. I have to go to something like a 100km distance to even see more than 5 profiles a day - and half of them are danish, because I'm 5km away from that border and Tinder doesn't know countries exist.

Damn that sucks. Not much you can do then. You're not going to university any time soon?


I'm 15 years too old for that
mahrgell
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Germany3943 Posts
March 27 2016 21:27 GMT
#16296
You sounded like you were looking for something lasting longer than a week. Why would you even consider tinder for that? There are certainly better Online Dating platforms than tinder for that (in Germany), if you decided to try the online route.

But yes, in the end it all comes down to your profile... And especially when you are aiming at longer lasting relationships, you should not try to score too high on the "generic guy" scale, but instead focus on what you feel makes yourself interesting and special. If this causes 90% of the profile viewers to rate you 1/10 and makes the other 10% interested this is much better than scoring 6/10 for each one. Especially as you now know, that the other one is indeed interested in something you can deliver now and in the future without acting.
Deleted User 101379
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
4849 Posts
March 27 2016 22:02 GMT
#16297
On March 28 2016 06:27 mahrgell wrote:
You sounded like you were looking for something lasting longer than a week. Why would you even consider tinder for that? There are certainly better Online Dating platforms than tinder for that (in Germany), if you decided to try the online route.

But yes, in the end it all comes down to your profile... And especially when you are aiming at longer lasting relationships, you should not try to score too high on the "generic guy" scale, but instead focus on what you feel makes yourself interesting and special. If this causes 90% of the profile viewers to rate you 1/10 and makes the other 10% interested this is much better than scoring 6/10 for each one. Especially as you now know, that the other one is indeed interested in something you can deliver now and in the future without acting.


I know there are other online dating sites. I've programmed some of them, which is why I don't trust online dating at all. I've seen the *real* statistics. Tinder was pretty much a "meh, why not?" thing anyways. I don't really expect anything coming from it. I just found it funny that the only actual match I've got was one that totally didn't fit.
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
March 27 2016 22:09 GMT
#16298
On March 28 2016 05:15 Morfildur wrote:I'm 15 years too old for that

Well then you're not really the in the right age pool for tinder anyway. OKCupid is probably better for you if you want to try another online dating app.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
mahrgell
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Germany3943 Posts
March 27 2016 22:10 GMT
#16299
On March 28 2016 07:09 bloodwhore~ wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 28 2016 05:15 Morfildur wrote:I'm 15 years too old for that

Well then you're not really the in the right age pool for tinder anyway. OKCupid is probably better for you if you want to try another online dating app.

He is from Germany. okcupid exists here only on TL adds, when using an international proxy.
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
March 27 2016 22:35 GMT
#16300
On March 28 2016 07:02 Morfildur wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 28 2016 06:27 mahrgell wrote:
You sounded like you were looking for something lasting longer than a week. Why would you even consider tinder for that? There are certainly better Online Dating platforms than tinder for that (in Germany), if you decided to try the online route.

But yes, in the end it all comes down to your profile... And especially when you are aiming at longer lasting relationships, you should not try to score too high on the "generic guy" scale, but instead focus on what you feel makes yourself interesting and special. If this causes 90% of the profile viewers to rate you 1/10 and makes the other 10% interested this is much better than scoring 6/10 for each one. Especially as you now know, that the other one is indeed interested in something you can deliver now and in the future without acting.


I know there are other online dating sites. I've programmed some of them, which is why I don't trust online dating at all. I've seen the *real* statistics. Tinder was pretty much a "meh, why not?" thing anyways. I don't really expect anything coming from it. I just found it funny that the only actual match I've got was one that totally didn't fit.


What are the real statistics?
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
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