EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 813
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Kleinmuuhg
Vanuatu4091 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
I don't have my gf even in friends on Facebook, on skype or whatsapp. And letters I use just to tell her hocool she is/ when I travel | ||
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puerk
Germany855 Posts
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MortosDerpLata
6 Posts
Thought I could keep it platonic and be friends with her. I started doing other things to distract myself from the situation, like going to the gym... riding the bycicle, I even got myself a new job!!! And... it's not working, like I'm on this roller coaster where I go from being ok to feeling like shit on any given day. Guess I'll just have to call it quits and move on. It is a shame, she's a great girl and I do enjoy spending time with her even as friends... But, it's just not enough for me. Not really asking for advice as much as venting a bit. | ||
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Ghostcom
Denmark4783 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45922 Posts
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On March 20 2016 09:37 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: Yeah that's unfortunate, but hopefully with all the new things you're doing, you'll run into someone new That. The 1% chance you can get her is by stop being her friend. If you were important to her, and the planets align, eventually she will miss you and re initiate contact. | ||
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farvacola
United States18857 Posts
-He’s Czech and living in Germany. -He insists that women remain in a traditional role. He’s Catholic and she’s Episcopal. He was disgusted(?) that a woman could be in charge of a church and that she could marry in such a position. -She doesn’t want to do anything long distance and is potentially coming back to the states. He claims he’s fine with that and they are now “boyfriend and girlfriend.” He is now looking for jobs in Canada. When she told him that he was unsure she wanted to continue seeing him because it was unfair to him because she doesn’t really know what he wants. He told her that he gets to make that decision, not her. -The biggest “mistake” that he made was going too far with sex. She has a strict policy on condom usage unless in a serious relationship. He says that condoms lead to erection problems with him due to his “past relationship” and tried multiple times to stick his condom-less dick in her to her objection. She eventually ended the sexual encounter. He claims he hadn’t realized that her no actually meant no. She describes him as “dominant” in the bedroom. She’s not allowed to have any sort of control, which she doesn’t mind. They have since successfully had sex with a condom once. However, they are taking a break from it because it’s too much of a challenge for him. -The first time he met her housemates, they all went out dancing and he was dancing for her. He grabbed her arms and legs and moved her like a marionette. He then kept grabbing her boobs on the dance floor and she objected several times to no avail. -He told his Mom about her after either the first or second date. He says that Czechs/Germans don’t have a defining the relationship conversation and that if you continue dating a person, you simply are exclusive with them. He has also cancelled plans with friends several times to spend time with her. They have spoken over Facebook and in person almost every single time they have met about what they are and she has pleaded with him to take it slow just about every time that have spoken. -After their second date, he said that for him a relationship means you can communicate openly and that you love one another and he thinks we are already communicating well and that he will soon be in love with me -They went on a date together and began “play fighting” and he hit her more than once in a way that actually hurt. I know what I think about the dude, but I was curious if some folks with knowledge of the cultures at play might be able to comment on the authenticity of his "excuses" relative to the consistently piggish behavior. Thanks in advance | ||
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
On March 21 2016 06:12 farvacola wrote: So, my girlfriend has a close friend living in Germany and she's currently dating a guy that both of us find reprehensible for a variety of reasons. That said, it's hard for us to say whether or not there are merely cultural translation issues at work, so, given the diverse community on these boards, she requested that I find out what y'all think. The following is a short list of pertinent facts, with he being the dude and she being my gf's friend. I know what I think about the dude, but I was curious if some folks with knowledge of the cultures at play might be able to comment on the authenticity of his "excuses" relative to the consistently piggish behavior. Thanks in advance He is the kind of scum that would get beaten up hard f he would act like that in his home country. While the general attitude towards women vary greatly depending on if it’s a remote village/big city/bad part of the city etc. differs greatly (as it does everywhere) and that this macho-behaviour (men being in charge) is partially present in Eastern Europe he is just simply an asshole of a kind that I believe exists everywhere. I am not Czech myself, but I have contact to a lot of Czech/people from Eastern Europe and the general consensus is: That type of behaviour is definitely not their culture except a few backwarded people. Treating a women like that in public is in most of Eastern Europe a good way to get your ass kicked. And even in those small circles where this kind of stuff is acceptable, you keep it secret. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
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RvB
Netherlands6274 Posts
On March 21 2016 06:12 farvacola wrote: So, my girlfriend has a close friend living in Germany and she's currently dating a guy that both of us find reprehensible for a variety of reasons. That said, it's hard for us to say whether or not there are merely cultural translation issues at work, so, given the diverse community on these boards, she requested that I find out what y'all think. The following is a short list of pertinent facts, with he being the dude and she being my gf's friend. I know what I think about the dude, but I was curious if some folks with knowledge of the cultures at play might be able to comment on the authenticity of his "excuses" relative to the consistently piggish behavior. Thanks in advance Being an ass has nothing to do with culture. Doesn't sound like a nice guy from what I see. | ||
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MysteryMeat1
United States3292 Posts
On March 21 2016 06:12 farvacola wrote: So, my girlfriend has a close friend living in Germany and she's currently dating a guy that both of us find reprehensible for a variety of reasons. That said, it's hard for us to say whether or not there are merely cultural translation issues at work, so, given the diverse community on these boards, she requested that I find out what y'all think. The following is a short list of pertinent facts, with he being the dude and she being my gf's friend. I know what I think about the dude, but I was curious if some folks with knowledge of the cultures at play might be able to comment on the authenticity of his "excuses" relative to the consistently piggish behavior. Thanks in advance From a fellow PNW, dude sounds like a train wreck | ||
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Kleinmuuhg
Vanuatu4091 Posts
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farvacola
United States18857 Posts
Klein, do you really think its scummy for a woman to tell one of her best friends such things, particularly given that she's pretty much alone in a foreign country? I don't see how that's scummy at all...... | ||
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Kleinmuuhg
Vanuatu4091 Posts
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farvacola
United States18857 Posts
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Kleinmuuhg
Vanuatu4091 Posts
1) she is in real danger of being sexually assaulted -> why would you ask the internet what to do 2) its about their relationship in general/cultural differences (this is how your post opened) ->there is no need to go into that extreme detail, i personally would be very disappointed if some friend of a friend of my gf knew that intimate stuff, let alone him posting it openly on the internet ( but if you disagree on that one, thats fine, its just my opinion) | ||
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
On March 21 2016 07:03 farvacola wrote: So you think its scummy for a best friend to seek out advice relative to her friend's situation when everyone is kept anonymous and there appears to be a real threat of sexual assault? I still don't follow. Men are used to not speaking openly about their problems in most cultures, therefore speaking about certain things with their friends often seems odd to them. Women on the other hand don't fall under that pressure, its ok for them to speak about their problems since its not considered as a sign of weakness/it is acceptable to be weak. That is my best guess. | ||
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arb
Noobville17922 Posts
i was like what then she got all mad and shit and told me to fuck off ??????? | ||
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AKnopf
Germany259 Posts
[ ] scummy (if she is a close friend) [x] scummy (otherwise) | ||
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