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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On November 19 2015 21:02 LemOn wrote: Oh and how do I make a picture out of them? Just put them. On table and then put glue on top? Basically. Just glue across the back and frame it, that's what my family used to do all the time.
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On November 19 2015 22:12 evilfatsh1t wrote: wut? glue?? dafuq
frame it if you can. not sure if your puzzle came with a frame to fit, but ive seen people frame their completed puzzles. otherwise yeah, you just put it back in the box to start over, like mikau said. its really a waste to break it up and do it over again though Not to be philosophical but I think in the grand scheme of things puzzles rate among the least useful things to be doing, so in that sense it's a waste. In my opinion you do them for fun though, and just like how after a great game of Settlers of Catan you put everything back in the box without thinking that devalues the experience, you can do the same with puzzles.
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Ya frame it, I am a big fan of jigsaw puzzle, at one point I gave away near 20 of them, protip it can be used to impress girl like I carried one in high school to give it to a girl,the whole school was wondering wtf was it. Nowadays I do jigsaw with gf it is a cool hobby. 1000, 1500 or 2000 pieces is just right, lower or higher than that is either too easy or too big, when you have some experience you can do some challenging ones like leopard/scenery with tonnes of clouds etc. You can get a jigsaw puzzle storage folder thingy from Amazon between £20-50, worthy investment if you lack of space.
@asian girls, in general once they near 25yo they want to get settled down, at least for the 80s generation anyway. The complexity of how their mindset works is based on regions, I'd say don't rush into a LTR too quickly (albeit I know you probably have no choice, because you probably won't be able to kiss them unless you are titled bf/gf haha), go travel more places and you will notice the subtle differences between girls from different parts of Asia, the best way to do that is actually during the first two years of uni (where they come study in your uni).
I was typing a general summary of regions in Asia but I realised that they can be very different for an Asian looking guy like me and for a Caucasian/other non-asian racial group. There is one thing for sure is that if you are looking for really high quality girl for serious LTR, you will need to at least speak basic level of the local language.
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yeah I wanna glue and frame it, why do same picture 2x nice reminder of the bond we have wasting so much time on something frustrating...aww :D
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There is special puzzle glue that you can use which is reversibel hence you can always break it apart and do it again.
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Alright, so advice/ perspectives because we're on two topics that are relevant to my situation:
Same girl, been talking to her for like 3-4 weeks. Couple details: I'm 23, she's 22-- born in China, but been here for most of her life. She's fluent in Mandarin, and I'm pretty okay. Managed to finally go on a date which from my perspective went well-- brief recap, was tons of fun, we talked about some funny stuff but a decent dash of more serious stuff, lasted until restaurant closed +15 minutes in the parking lot. Didn't go for a kiss or anything though, I'm a little unsure how to pace those things and it seems ya'll have some conflicting comments on that.
Maybe because it's my nature to freak out, but I feel like I'm getting mixed signals. Mostly, she sucks at getting back to me. On the other hand, she still responds and sends snapchats throughout the day (hooray for a 10 day streak?). It's making it kind of difficult to ask her out this weekend, I feel like it's pretty important to do something before I peace out for a week for Thanksgiving. Should I just interject and be like "SO YEAH LET'S HANG THIS WEEKEND" instead of hoping for a nice segue into it?
Probably just gonna be like "come over for puzzle and chill, jk just puzzle". We joked about how I didn't invite her over the weekend, so there's that. Or maybe go for a walk, see a movie or something. I don't want to be like "yeah let's spend the whole day together" though. Like, I want to say she;s interested, but I feel like there's just not enough datapoints to say that for sure.
Puzzles... well , I like doing them over and over again mostly cuz I'm poor and can't afford new ones on the reg. I've always believed that the journey defines the reward (so more challenge makes you feel more accomplished), though the exception to that would be relationships. Relationships should be smoothish and easyish.
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Def invite her to do something asap
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You are trippin.
Just ask her to come over and puzzle with you. You don't need a segue. You don't need an excuse.
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So ya'll think that based off what I said it's probably just me and my weirdness/ low self-esteem and to just roll with it?
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yes, roll with it and stop overthinking, dawg.
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either way (i'm kind of typing and thinking through as i go) i kinda have to ask to move forward with the process. appreciate ya'll for reading and responding to my bitching.
yeah, well ive vented/ let off steam, i'll go ahead and ask and report back later
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I guess I can update on the date.
I'll start with the good parts. So we went climbing. It was very fun, she was pretty good for a beginner! Decent butt. She is still pretty easy to talk to, since I am somewhat well versed with the body we have that in common since she is a doctor. She sent a text a few hours later saying she had a great time and wanted to see me again, not sure why she continues to say that I think it is implied that you want to see each other again unless you state otherwise.
Bad parts: I kinda feel like I'm absurdly superficial but I'm not really feeling the "god I want to push her against a wall and fuck her brains out" feel and I believe it's kinda important that I do. I'm not sure if I don't get attracted to her that way because our conversations are somewhat boring or if it is because I think she is not super hot in my eyes. Like there is some aspects in terms of looks that I'm a tad bothered with. Because of these reasons and because she said she wanted to take it slow I didn't go for a kiss. I was thinking about what Lem0n said about giving her a peck while fixing her gear, I was very close to her at that point but I felt like that would be pushing it a lot.
Conclusion: I don't know though, it is like with the first girl on Tinder I dated - I'm not quite feeling the chemistry. Having said that I will not do a preemptive rejection like I did with her. Will still go on dates with her to see if any feels come up but if I don't feel anything after next one I will probably look for other girls to date. I'm not even sure if she is strictly looking for a boyfriend either so some other arrangement might be possible.
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You say that every time. Maybe you're gay? Are you still doing NoFap?
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On November 20 2015 07:23 WarSame wrote: You say that every time. Maybe you're gay? Are you still doing NoFap? LOL. Was not expecting that response huehue. Lets list the ones I've gone on two or more dates with in order, and also fuck the fake names I came up with, I can't remember them myself.
Rebecca. Awesome personality, didn't really feel attracted/any real chemistry. Feelsbadman that nothing happened here. Cecilia. Decent personality, was attracted to her, she didn't want a relationship. Nika (changed because it is super unique..). Awesome personality, didn't really feel attracted/any real chemistry. Lisa. Fun personality although she felt kind of unstable after hearing stuff from Nika. Wife material in terms of looks, FUCK ME, I will most likely never date anyone as gorgeous as her again, my standards and demands have been forever changed. Annika. Really nice and friendly, personality sort of like Cecilia. She is really cute in some ways, not feeling it that good so far.
Another kind of silly thing is I take in to account what their names are. Is it weird that I think attractiveness can be in the name? I think Rebecca and Cecilia are pretty sexy names. If I met someone with the personality of Rebecca/Nika and with the looks of Lisa with the name "Emilia" I'd fall for that girl like a fucking rock.
I'm still on no fap. I don't really think of fapping anymore so it's not very hard, if I get super fucking horny again I will probably fap, otherwise I kinda like going around with boners. I'm on day 100 tomorrow so, will at least wait for triple digits before I do it .
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On November 20 2015 07:38 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On November 20 2015 07:23 WarSame wrote: You say that every time. Maybe you're gay? Are you still doing NoFap? LOL. Was not expecting that response huehue. Lets list the ones I've gone on two or more dates with in order, and also fuck the fake names I came up with, I can't remember them myself. Rebecca. Awesome personality, didn't really feel attracted/any real chemistry. Feelsbadman that nothing happened here. Cecilia. Decent personality, was attracted to her, she didn't want a relationship. Nika (changed because it is super unique..). Awesome personality, didn't really feel attracted/any real chemistry. Lisa. Fun personality although she felt kind of unstable after hearing stuff from Nika. Wife material in terms of looks, FUCK ME, I will most likely never date anyone as gorgeous as her again, my standards and demands have been forever changed. Annika. Really nice and friendly, personality sort of like Cecilia. She is really cute in some ways, not feeling it that good so far. Another kind of silly thing is I take in to account what their names are. Is it weird that I think attractiveness can be in the name? I think Rebecca and Cecilia are pretty sexy names. If I met someone with the personality of Rebecca/Nika and with the looks of Lisa with the name "Emilia" I'd fall for that girl like a fucking rock. I'm still on no fap. I don't really think of fapping anymore so it's not very hard, if I get super fucking horny again I will probably fap, otherwise I kinda like going around with boners. I'm on day 100 tomorrow so, will at least wait for triple digits before I do it  .
May I suggest naming them like Hurricanes (come up with new names alphabetically) if this one doesn't work out?
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On November 20 2015 07:41 GreenHorizons wrote: May I suggest naming them like Hurricanes (come up with new names alphabetically) if this one doesn't work out?
Haha, that's one possibility, maybe of dota heroes ;P? These are their real names except for Nika's. Her name is so unique there is only one of her on facebook in Sweden. It was with her I didn't even know how to pronounce her name and had to ask her the second date because I misheard it the first date hehe.
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On November 20 2015 07:38 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On November 20 2015 07:23 WarSame wrote: You say that every time. Maybe you're gay? Are you still doing NoFap? LOL. Was not expecting that response huehue. Lets list the ones I've gone on two or more dates with in order, and also fuck the fake names I came up with, I can't remember them myself. Rebecca. Awesome personality, didn't really feel attracted/any real chemistry. Feelsbadman that nothing happened here. Cecilia. Decent personality, was attracted to her, she didn't want a relationship. Nika (changed because it is super unique..). Awesome personality, didn't really feel attracted/any real chemistry. Lisa. Fun personality although she felt kind of unstable after hearing stuff from Nika. Wife material in terms of looks, FUCK ME, I will most likely never date anyone as gorgeous as her again, my standards and demands have been forever changed. Annika. Really nice and friendly, personality sort of like Cecilia. She is really cute in some ways, not feeling it that good so far. Another kind of silly thing is I take in to account what their names are. Is it weird that I think attractiveness can be in the name? I think Rebecca and Cecilia are pretty sexy names. If I met someone with the personality of Rebecca/Nika and with the looks of Lisa with the name "Emilia" I'd fall for that girl like a fucking rock. I'm still on no fap. I don't really think of fapping anymore so it's not very hard, if I get super fucking horny again I will probably fap, otherwise I kinda like going around with boners. I'm on day 100 tomorrow so, will at least wait for triple digits before I do it  . Fapping's cool man you can practice stuff like dry orgasms, managing sex times... I can pretty much last as long or short as I want now, all thanks to years of practice It's porn that messes up with your brain not fapping itself!
Also it's normal as you are inexperienced, but your priorities are wrong. Looks are more or less irrelevant, mutual chemical attraction is way WAY more important and a 4/10 in magazine standards will make both a much better 1 night stand and especially long term partner than a model where the sparks aren't flying.
Of course I've realized this only after dating a model-class, very successful girl where both sex and the relationship was far from what I'm looking for. But if you have low self-esteem like I had I guess that experience is still necessary for overall confidence. Now I don't give a fuck how a girl looks like in magazine standards, but how I feel when in her presence/when having sex - but I guess that realization wouldn't come if the bubble of the bullshit projection that everything will be awesome once I just bag that super hot girl burst.
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And yeah I'd pretty much abort with the girl you're seeing now. That's why I think it's important to just go for it very early, now you're with friendship vibe from both sides, I've never came back from that personally, and it just got more and more awkward
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On November 20 2015 07:47 LemOn wrote:It's porn that messes up with your brain not fapping itself!
Also it's normal as you are inexperienced, but your priorities are wrong. Looks are more or less irrelevant, mutual chemical attraction is way WAY more important and a 4/10 in magazine standards will make both a much better 1 night stand and especially long term partner than a model where the sparks aren't flying. Definitely, I most likely won't fap with porn if I do continue later.
Yeah I agree that they are kinda wrong but I still want the feeling that I want to stare at her face for years. Maybe I am a bit greedy to want both, which might be really hard to find. I am kinda okay with not having a gf if my 'requirements' are not met. If she is boring but hot I would be okay with a fuckbuddy thing. If she isn't attractive for me but an awesome person I could use another female friend.
Still, it might be the case that I don't find Annika super attractive because the chemistry isn't really there, I guess we will see. We're probably going to make dinner or bake or something more chill soon, so I will definitely go for kissing and making out possibly then.
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On November 20 2015 07:47 LemOn wrote:but I guess that realization wouldn't come if the bubble of the bullshit projection that everything will be awesome once I just bag that super hot girl burst.
Well I wouldn't say I really care about that. I just want to feel like I am really attracted to her.
Not going to abort just yet. I made that error before, still too early. I highly doubt she wants a friendship, I just think she is really unused to dating and want to take it slow. Her friend did say she was a virgin and I gotta say I believe it. I might be making it sound like it's worse between us than it actually is, it's easier to bring up bad things than good things.
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