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On November 19 2015 05:09 B.I.G. wrote:
If you are dating one of those classic Chinese girls (which you seem to describe) you have to accept that your relationship will look completely different. The things that make girls like that tic are completely different from western girls. I also live in China and I have come to realise that dating a local Chinese girl is a waste of both her and my time. Expectations are completely different and often incompatible...
It can still be great if you want family, don't mind her being very close to hers, marriage expected early 28years of age and someone who's caring at home. They will compromise and you can meet them half way if they are really into you in a lot of aspects too, so I wouldn't stay away from dating a girl just because she's 1st gen Chinese as long as you're ready for those things.
I had great 4 years with one, it definitely was not a waste of time but when it came to marriage I wasn't simply ready and she had tremendous pressure put on her for being single at 28.
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Guys need tips
We both have a cold so I want to do a cool date at home - something that doesn't involve cooking or movies, any ideas?
First idea is large puzzle day 
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On November 19 2015 06:34 LemOn wrote:Guys need tips We both have a cold so I want to do a cool date at home - something that doesn't involve cooking or movies, any ideas? First idea is large puzzle day
jam
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its okay
im actually planning a puzzle day, bought one last weekend and did some myself, gonna invite a girl over for puzzle and chill
emphasis on puzzle, but hey we'll see where it goes
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On November 19 2015 06:56 ticklishmusic wrote:
its okay
im actually planning a puzzle day, bought one last weekend and did some myself, gonna invite a girl over for puzzle and chill
emphasis on puzzle, but hey we'll see where it goes
I really hate those things, she loves them - but what ones should I go for? how long does e.g. 1000 piece take on average.
And I'm gonna do something radical - actually what she's suggested
So food, russian movies, a bath and puzzle :D
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a thousand pieces is going to take a couple days minimum, unless it's an easy one and/or she is really good. doesnt matter if you dont finish though?
mine is 1500, i'd say i might be about a third done after 10-15 hours. been putting in a couple hours each evening since saturday.
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holy shit? Okay so if have only a few hours (3-5) I should go for like 250 ish? I mean on a date It's best if we actually have a chance to complete it
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If she loves puzzles, and she's coming over, why do you have to finish it by the end of the date?
It gives you a motive to invite her over again to finish the puzzle :>
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Yea I realize there's a cultural gap that's almost impossible to fill. She's not my first chinese so I sorta know how they "function" but this one is from one of those minorities in the west, she looks half-blood and is super open-minded on most issues so I figured she would be "different". Obviously, I was wrong.
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yeah you dont have to finish the puzzle or anything, i sure as hell dont plan to finish
250 is a kiddie puzzle, gotta go for 500 pieces at the very minimum yo.
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On November 19 2015 05:47 LemOn wrote:Show nested quote +On November 19 2015 05:09 B.I.G. wrote:
If you are dating one of those classic Chinese girls (which you seem to describe) you have to accept that your relationship will look completely different. The things that make girls like that tic are completely different from western girls. I also live in China and I have come to realise that dating a local Chinese girl is a waste of both her and my time. Expectations are completely different and often incompatible... It can still be great if you want family, don't mind her being very close to hers, marriage expected early 28years of age and someone who's caring at home. They will compromise and you can meet them half way if they are really into you in a lot of aspects too, so I wouldn't stay away from dating a girl just because she's 1st gen Chinese as long as you're ready for those things. I had great 4 years with one, it definitely was not a waste of time but when it came to marriage I wasn't simply ready and she had tremendous pressure put on her for being single at 28.
Yeah if you are willing to adjust and sacrifice a lot it no doubt can be great. But when I mention wasting time in my situation it was mostly aimed at their time.
-She wants to get married asap because of family pressure? Ask me again in 5 years.
-She wants to settle down somewhere near her family? No way in hell I'm gonna grow old in China.
Those are just 2 examples of incompatibility. So it feels unfair to me if I drag her along and she gets false hope somehow..
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On November 19 2015 13:13 B.I.G. wrote:Show nested quote +On November 19 2015 05:47 LemOn wrote:On November 19 2015 05:09 B.I.G. wrote:
If you are dating one of those classic Chinese girls (which you seem to describe) you have to accept that your relationship will look completely different. The things that make girls like that tic are completely different from western girls. I also live in China and I have come to realise that dating a local Chinese girl is a waste of both her and my time. Expectations are completely different and often incompatible... It can still be great if you want family, don't mind her being very close to hers, marriage expected early 28years of age and someone who's caring at home. They will compromise and you can meet them half way if they are really into you in a lot of aspects too, so I wouldn't stay away from dating a girl just because she's 1st gen Chinese as long as you're ready for those things. I had great 4 years with one, it definitely was not a waste of time but when it came to marriage I wasn't simply ready and she had tremendous pressure put on her for being single at 28. Yeah if you are willing to adjust and sacrifice a lot it no doubt can be great. But when I mention wasting time in my situation it was mostly aimed at their time. -She wants to get married asap because of family pressure? Ask me again in 5 years. -She wants to settle down somewhere near her family? No way in hell I'm gonna grow old in China. Those are just 2 examples of incompatibility. So it feels unfair to me if I drag her along and she gets false hope somehow..
While dating a traditional chinese girl is almost always a mistake if you're planning for a long relationship, not all girls here are keen on marriage, especially the new generation.
I've been teaching "kids" (19-22yo) at the university for two years and most of them are "westernizing" and are sick of the family pressure you guys are refering to. They want something else.
My gf is just the same, she, and I quote : "just wants to have fun". But old habits and social influence don't die easily.
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On November 19 2015 13:49 CptMarvel wrote:Show nested quote +On November 19 2015 13:13 B.I.G. wrote:On November 19 2015 05:47 LemOn wrote:On November 19 2015 05:09 B.I.G. wrote:
If you are dating one of those classic Chinese girls (which you seem to describe) you have to accept that your relationship will look completely different. The things that make girls like that tic are completely different from western girls. I also live in China and I have come to realise that dating a local Chinese girl is a waste of both her and my time. Expectations are completely different and often incompatible... It can still be great if you want family, don't mind her being very close to hers, marriage expected early 28years of age and someone who's caring at home. They will compromise and you can meet them half way if they are really into you in a lot of aspects too, so I wouldn't stay away from dating a girl just because she's 1st gen Chinese as long as you're ready for those things. I had great 4 years with one, it definitely was not a waste of time but when it came to marriage I wasn't simply ready and she had tremendous pressure put on her for being single at 28. Yeah if you are willing to adjust and sacrifice a lot it no doubt can be great. But when I mention wasting time in my situation it was mostly aimed at their time. -She wants to get married asap because of family pressure? Ask me again in 5 years. -She wants to settle down somewhere near her family? No way in hell I'm gonna grow old in China. Those are just 2 examples of incompatibility. So it feels unfair to me if I drag her along and she gets false hope somehow.. While dating a traditional chinese girl is almost always a mistake if you're planning for a long relationship, not all girls here are keen on marriage, especially the new generation. I've been teaching "kids" (19-22yo) at the university for two years and most of them are "westernizing" and are sick of the family pressure you guys are refering to. They want something else. My gf is just the same, she, and I quote : "just wants to have fun". But old habits and social influence don't die easily.
Yeah when they're young it's a different story of course e.g. I've met a total slag from China who was 19 and was experimenting. A lot And so was I so it was a great night. But even she had those clingy tendencies and behaved incredibly similarly to my former chinese ex
But when it comes to her nearing 30 it's a whole different story - the biological clock starts ticking no matter where the women lives or is from but when you combine it with the pressure for society there's not much you can do. And I was dating a girl 2.5years older than me
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On November 19 2015 10:17 ticklishmusic wrote:
yeah you dont have to finish the puzzle or anything, i sure as hell dont plan to finish
250 is a kiddie puzzle, gotta go for 500 pieces at the very minimum yo.
Actually yeah you're right, I'll just get 1000 and have it as our project
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On November 19 2015 18:18 LemOn wrote:Show nested quote +On November 19 2015 10:17 ticklishmusic wrote:
yeah you dont have to finish the puzzle or anything, i sure as hell dont plan to finish
250 is a kiddie puzzle, gotta go for 500 pieces at the very minimum yo. Actually yeah you're right, I'll just get 1000 and have it as our project
Just make sure you have a table (>1.5m² I'd say at least) that you can spare for a couple of days or even better get a wooden board to puzzle on or something like that (so if you need the space you can move it somewhere else with the puzzle). And don't go below 1000 pieces
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Ok so I got a box of 4x1000 pieces (4puzzles). I have a table in my room I can spare, Im only worried about the kitty jumping on it. It will take ages, there's noway I'll pyzzle on my own
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Oh and how do I make a picture out of them? Just put them. On table and then put glue on top?
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That's a troll right?
You don't make a picture out of them, you put them together and when you're done you put them back in the box so you can do it again.
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wut? glue??
dafuq
frame it if you can. not sure if your puzzle came with a frame to fit, but ive seen people frame their completed puzzles.
otherwise yeah, you just put it back in the box to start over, like mikau said. its really a waste to break it up and do it over again though
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EPT
