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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On August 07 2015 04:22 waffelz wrote:
Update, third date also was awesome.
if it was me finding her unattractive/not liking her place(which is way nice than mine. wtf women?)
Holy shit is that show bad(so far).
I want to fall for someone too ;__;
The girl I was with asked me the same thing if she wasn't hot enough, my mind when I heard it was like "uliterallywotm7".
I watched all three seasons in like 1.5 week or something. Many characters are annoying but there are some good ones too, (Nikki - the meth user) for example.
As for meeting her friends, sounds scary as fuck! I think think you're fine though, unless they absolutely hate you I don't think you have anything to worry about. If it's a nightclub you can probably just talk/dance/makeout with her all night. Being sober you might get asked why you don't drink a lot so be prepared for that. Is it getting drunk you don't like or is it the taste?
You could probably pass of some non-alcohol drink thing as alcohol if they bug you too much about it.
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On August 07 2015 08:39 freelander wrote:
So I met this girl at a charity camp for poor kids a month ago, where we were both volunteer animators.
It was a week long, and I felt super connected with her, I never opened this much to anyone before, but there was nothing sexual there (she had a boyfriend). We didn't flirt.
I wanted to meet her again to just hang out, and it was hard to organize, because both of us are having some hard times, but we could meet this Tuesday.
After the camp and before that I was on two dates with this other girl from my loose social circle, the second date was on Monday.
Somehow at the weekend I already felt that I was extremely happy that I would meet the girl from the camp again (a non-date), so much that I kind of forgot about the Monday date (which still went well).
On Tuesday, we went to some green area with some alcohol, talked, played some 2 player games.. it still started nonsexual to me, really!. But after the dark we just tangled and made out, the change in tone was extremely fast.
I fell for her so hard, she is everything I wanted in a companion.
Now this puts me at the awkward situation.. I still have to sort out the first girl who probably won't get it at all, because the dates so far went well, and the girl from the camp still lives with her boyfriend (whom I totally forgot about till next day). She calls me tomorrow about what she's gonna do.
Join me in the next episode..
I really don't think you should go for the difference with a boyfriend. Do NOT go for her! What makes you think she wouldn't do the same thing to you? Once a cheater always a cheater.
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On August 07 2015 08:42 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On August 07 2015 08:39 freelander wrote:
So I met this girl at a charity camp for poor kids a month ago, where we were both volunteer animators.
It was a week long, and I felt super connected with her, I never opened this much to anyone before, but there was nothing sexual there (she had a boyfriend). We didn't flirt.
I wanted to meet her again to just hang out, and it was hard to organize, because both of us are having some hard times, but we could meet this Tuesday.
After the camp and before that I was on two dates with this other girl from my loose social circle, the second date was on Monday.
Somehow at the weekend I already felt that I was extremely happy that I would meet the girl from the camp again (a non-date), so much that I kind of forgot about the Monday date (which still went well).
On Tuesday, we went to some green area with some alcohol, talked, played some 2 player games.. it still started nonsexual to me, really!. But after the dark we just tangled and made out, the change in tone was extremely fast.
I fell for her so hard, she is everything I wanted in a companion.
Now this puts me at the awkward situation.. I still have to sort out the first girl who probably won't get it at all, because the dates so far went well, and the girl from the camp still lives with her boyfriend (whom I totally forgot about till next day). She calls me tomorrow about what she's gonna do.
Join me in the next episode.. I really don't think you should go for the difference with a boyfriend. Do NOT go for her! What makes you think she wouldn't do the same thing to you? Once a cheater always a cheater.
Depends on where they are in the relationship. If it's disintegrating, then she's jumping ship. I'm not saying it's always going to be rosy if the two of you get together, but it can happen. Happened to me, but I got a bit lazy and depressed and sank the whole thing. No idea what's become of her.
If she's in a tight relationship though, no question, go for the single one. But all other things equal, follow your heart. I've heard it said somewhere that you already know the answer, you just want to see if anyone agrees with you, which is sometimes true... but if you really like the taken girl, you could definitely try it out.
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On August 07 2015 08:39 bloodwhore~ wrote:
I want to fall for someone too ;__;
The girl I was with asked me the same thing if she wasn't hot enough, my mind when I heard it was like "uliterallywotm7".
I watched all three seasons in like 1.5 week or something. Many characters are annoying but there are some good ones too, (Nikki - the meth user) for example.
As for meeting her friends, sounds scary as fuck! I think think you're fine though, unless they absolutely hate you I don't think you have anything to worry about. If it's a nightclub you can probably just talk/dance/makeout with her all night. Being sober you might get asked why you don't drink a lot so be prepared for that. Is it getting drunk you don't like or is it the taste?
You could probably pass of some non-alcohol drink thing as alcohol if they bug you too much about it.
The "not hot enough"-part I could kind of understand as self-doubt regarding your appearance seems to be a standard feature of a women. Sometimes I wonder how they see themself/if the serious cases are mentally disordered. Like a female friend of mine whos anorexic and explained to me that she really sees/consider herself fat when watching in the mirror. But thats another topic.
It was more the part about thinking it was her place that put me off. Her place is really nice, a serious home. Mine on the other hand is much smaller and while clean it is very... practical. You just see that I dont consider it home but rther a place where I can sleep and do stuff in peace, or at least I believe so.
About the drinking: I never drank alcohol besides that one time where I was 6/7. Drank a glas of something that looked like orange juice, partially was and made me realize how much puke such a tiny body can contain. I literally covered the entire corridor :D. There are some other more serious reasons that make sense, but I believe they joined later. I believe me not drinking alcohol is mainly down to the fact that I havent picked it up during the usual age priod and never been prone to peer-pressure.
I can confirm though that I dont like the taste/flavor of alcohol in sweets/cake etc.. Also, drunken people are annoying as shit, often start fights and in general I dont really respect them.
I dont have any problem with reasonable drinking though, aswell as with the fact that I dont drink and others peoples reaction to it. Never cared much about that. I had some fun though at a birthday where a "friend" of mine thought it would be funny to fool me into drinking alcohol. Got warned, grabbed that little clown. twisted his hand a bit so he had to tak a very funny/acrobatic stance and kept it that way for a time. It wasnt about revenge, just me having a reason to be a nuisance again. And it greatly improved the party : D.
Bottom line is: I dont have a problem with other peoples opinion about my drinking habbit and I had conversations about this enough times to be quite confident. And I promise I wont twist the hand of any of her friends 
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New girl and I are doing an impromptu LR over the presidential debate. We're on different sides of the fence.
I like her already.
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On August 07 2015 10:35 IgnE wrote:
Post the transcript.
I'll PM you when it's done, I don't want to post the politics in this thread.
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"You're so funny." - red flag
"You think I'm <insert negative>?" - red flag
"Meet my friends! <after days/weeks dating>" - red flag
"Meet my parents!" - "No, thank you."
"See this <insert costly item>? It's so <insert positive>" - "Riveting, gotta go."
"My ex..." - Leave. Don't look back.
"My bf..." - Drop her fish tank, walk away.
You're welcome.
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I found Orange is The New Black more entertaining when viewed as a commentary on prisons. It's actually much worse than they make it look though.
On August 07 2015 11:57 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:I'll PM you when it's done, I don't want to post the politics in this thread.
Shoot me a copy?
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I just realized the dating thread is literally killing girl blogs
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On August 07 2015 04:22 waffelz wrote:
"Ok, so you not sure about what you want at this point, but I am. That should put me in charge of the situation, since I am actually know what I am want/I am doing. I want to be near you, spend the night with you, even if we don't have sex. So I will stay here overnight, we will kiss and cuddle and sleep next top each other and you wont need to fear for your precious sacred virginity my sweet little bitch." after which
Hahaha She sounds awesome.
Btw I'm, not really sure why you came across as if you don't know what you want, it seemed pretty clear from what you posted?
And you seem to have the guy/girl standard roles reversed quite a bit, I suppose if she actually likes to lead and you don't mind her doing that it's cool 
really liked that you told her how how she looks btw
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So yesterday at the end of the date (paddle boats and samgyeopsal later for the first time -it's fun for a date, defo recommend) after the girl I'm dating shared some heavy personal stuff about her fucked up father, that he doesn't like how cheeky she is - I just felt really connected to her at that moment , and told her that's one of the reasons why I love her.
There was silence for some 30 seconds, we were just staring into each other's eyes and then she sat up, shook her head, smiled and said "I can't believe I almost gave you the wrong number when we first met"
She's super open with me, and is starting to ask personal questions now too which I'm a bit uneasy about - again I still come from a fearful state because it's the first time I've connected with someone physically and mentally on this level (and I lived with a girl for 4 years!), and I still have this tendency to make myself be seen in a good light. What I really want though is to be completely authentic, put who I am on the chopping block without regrets and be okay with losing her if she doesn't accept it.
She also told me everything about her past relationships and at first I felt uneasy as fuck when she told me she was in love with guys (and there really was just one serious), how she was sleeping over at their place, her ex teasing her etc Where all it is is a sign of trust from her, so I have lots of stuff to work on as a person still
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Russian Federation4050 Posts
The absence of sixstrings has never been so palpable. With no one to balance out the Lemon here this is turning into a land of hope and sunshine.
Congratz though, you lucky sonofabitch.
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On August 07 2015 17:01 LemOn wrote:Hahaha She sounds awesome. Btw I'm, not really sure why you came across as if you don't know what you want, it seemed pretty clear from what you posted? And you seem to have the guy/girl standard roles reversed quite a bit, I suppose if she actually likes to lead and you don't mind her doing that it's cool really liked that you told her how how she looks btw
First of all congratulation to your recent luck. Sounds like you really hit gold .
If I am still allowed to make suggestions for my dates, paddle boats will be definitely one of them.
It was more mend in the sense of not knowing if I want her because I got a crush on her, or because it is serious, so you are right. I do know what I want it is more a case of finding out if I really want it, but I feel like that will be settled soon.
And yeah, I am actually quite good at spotting peoples intentions, their worries etc. and how to deal with them, what to say and how to phrase it. I am only this useless when it comes to signs of attraction towards me.
Also, I am officially dead. "Ladysnight" starts at noon with a shopping spree, followed by wellness stuff, before the rest of it starts. Joining 6 ladies as the only men on that activity sounds fun doesn't it? I am sure this will be my last post, in the following days my dead body will be found, deep cuts from bag-holders on my arms, still carrying the smell of new shoes, clothes and perfume. Autopsy report will state that I either drowned from the weird face-mask stuff that filled up my lungs, or from the inexplicable degeneration and deformation of my brain. They will say you could still see the shadows of unspeakable horror in my eyes, staring empty onto a message to my friends and relatives that has been carved into the wall with some fake-nails.
Its genuinely the first time I am glad that I no longer have long hair xD
Yoho, off I go. At least I will greet death with a smile.
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Why on earth are you going on that "date"? Tell her that it sounds great to meet her friends, but you'll be in the bar/elsewhere whilera they do their girly stuff, and meet them afterwards.
If you know you won't like the activity, bow out gracefully before you get irritated and annoyed. My gf at least prefers I don't come shopping over me being añ impatient sarcastic asshole while shopping, which is what I inevitably become afer 3 different clothes shops.
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United Kingdom36161 Posts
On August 07 2015 05:03 waffelz wrote:lol... I doubt the strap-on part, but better wait for Igne to say the same to be sure its nonsense  About the S&M stuff... maybe, its not nececarly bad . But that part also isn't reall indicitive for that. The bitch part was more a teasing joke she continued to use. And her taking charge makes sense if you lookt at it. I am not sure what I want, she is sure what she wants. If you want something, you have to work for it. Her logic sounds simple and reasonable to me. Whatever, I can only recommend it. Girls have it easy, as soon as the dating phase begins. EDIT: Unless she wants me to watch fifty shades of grey next. I think that would be a red flag.
Sure it is. That's how it starts. They start by domming you "jokingly" to see your reaction, and then it progresses from there...
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On August 07 2015 18:53 dfs wrote:
The absence of sixstrings has never been so palpable. With no one to balance out the Lemon here this is turning into a land of hope and sunshine.
Congratz though, you lucky sonofabitch.
I hear Xiphos and SixStrings are creating a hybrid.
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On August 07 2015 20:01 Acrofales wrote:. My gf at least prefers I don't come shopping over me being añ impatient sarcastic asshole while shopping, which is what I inevitably become afer 3 different clothes shops.
Yeah same here, well when I used to go shopping with my sister. She says it feels like she has a tail when me and my father follow her.
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Brings back memories when I used to go shopping with the chinese ex gf I lived with. Well, cause I had no idea what I was doing back then and the minute I started living with her I pretty much stopped taking her for dates so it was like the rare time we spent away from the house . I'd be like all fidgety hated it and she'd criticize me for hating it too lol.
I actually found the importance of just saying "You want to go shopping? Awesome, have a great time, how about you go enjoy that with your friends, and we schedule a fun date with just the two of us where you can tell me all about it- Hows X day at X hrs working out for ya?"
And go back to watching TI5/funny vids on youtube. And not only girls tend to not mind, it's a turn on for some reason :D
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EPT
