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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
SafeWord
Profile Joined February 2010
United States522 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-01 04:01:25
February 01 2014 03:29 GMT
#7861
So update to what happen... She actually texted me the night I posted that, but she had a long work day so I let her go(as in we texted for only a short time). On Thursday, around the afternoon I shot her a text saying "Hope today isn't as exhausting, have a great afternoon." Since then haven't talked to her but ever since posting on here I don't feel as let down as before. Don't plan on texting her until Sunday to see if she is still down to come to the superbowl party.

Anyway thanks for all the advice!
Who needs players when you have God?
Shotcoder
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2316 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-01 18:10:49
February 01 2014 06:35 GMT
#7862
Been talking to the girl I said I was intrigued by earlier in the thread. Eventually asked if she wanted to go out...First response was "I"m not saying no but let me think about it" then she gave me some long explanation about how she didn't want to shoot me down but she wasnt ready for any sort of commitment and she hasn't really dated anyone. So I was kinda disappointed because I kinda took that as a no,

Was talking to her again today, told her I was being completely sincere I was interested in seeing and getting to no her but I wasn't looking for a commitment thing, just to hang out and get to know eachother. She smiled and told me she didn't forget and told me she was still thinking about it. That gave me a positive vibe. The fact she said she was "thinking about it". But who knows, we'll see where it goes from here I guess lol

Edit: LOL woke up to a text asking if I wanted to go to dinner.
Shotcoder - C+ BW Terran, Gold LoL(ADC Main)
ZapRoffo
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States5544 Posts
February 01 2014 17:16 GMT
#7863
On January 24 2014 21:05 WonnaPlay wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 24 2014 14:42 ZapRoffo wrote:
On December 11 2013 14:41 ZapRoffo wrote:

On December 01 2013 11:52 ZapRoffo wrote:
Well tomorrow for the first time I'm meeting someone from online where it feels like there's actually potential (we clicked fairly immediately in online conversation) rather than knowing that it's just gonna end up practice, or random socializing, so I'm rather nervous like it's all new. Even though I keep telling myself to not treat it different because I know I show a fairly good self when I'm behaving naturally nowadays.


Update from this after a week and a half, we went out a second time to a movie--(arm touching and leaning close/into each other was what happened physically, she was very reactive to the thrilling parts of the movie). She seemed to have a positive reaction to the date afterward overall.

The thing is we clicked because we seem to move at the same speed in life and such, but our interests don't really click that much. She's gets into things like movies only emotionally, she thinks Twilight is decent (but not spectacularly good, heh), she really likes shopping--these aren't really the sorts of things I'm really mentally (whole package type) attracted to. But thinking of her physically does turn me on, but then she doesn't seem like the type at all that will go for sex or anything without getting quite emotionally close, and I'm not sure whether I'm down to go there or not. Not really sure how to approach, especially since I don't have opportunities with females just raining down on me.


Update on this: I gave her not enough credit here, I'm quite fond of her now, trying not to think too much and ruin everything. We've been dating a bit, moving pretty slowly but that suits me. So the story is, after a few times hanging out she gave me a "I like you as a friend" thing which sort of reflected my hesitation, but then we went out to the movies again after that, she wanted to cuddle while watching and I guess she was in the process of changing her mind about the friend thing cause then she was like, lets give this thing a go, and it felt right to me. We made out a little last date, and we have good aligning physical chemistry I think. We look very old-fashioned from outside I think, and I'm sure anyone who saw us would be like, awww so cute or something, heh. Especially cause she's not someone most would describe as smoking hot but it's very easy to describe her as very cute (the short woman--under 5 ft.--conundrum).

This song is what I feel like in the days when we don't get to meet up (we have somewhat inconveniently overlapping work schedules so mostly just the weekends are good):
+ Show Spoiler +

Working as both a message to myself and in its main plaintive hope for her.


Be very carefull when going for such a girl. She has already mentioned that she see's you as a friend.
Cuddling, kissing etc is a thing which a girl might do just to see whatsup. She might seem into you for a while, but in the meantime would be just waiting for another guy and "settling" with you.
Cute girls are by far the most dangerous since they give you the "Hey, I could marry this girl"-feeling, whilst just leaning you on.
Ofcourse that said, when that is clear just enjoy the time you have with her, however don't fall in love in that case.

The assumptions you make of "lets give this thing a go" might just be "hey, this guy is pretty cute for the time being", so try to be straight forward with your intentions and find out what hers are.
Aside from all this, congrats :D


Hmm, so update, we are "official" and exclusive now, as far as I can tell she's very into it. I guess I'm jumping into this, lets see how it goes.
Yeah, well, you know, that's just like, your opinion man
rezoacken
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada2719 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-01 18:32:52
February 01 2014 18:31 GMT
#7864
On February 01 2014 15:35 Shotcoder wrote:
Been talking to the girl I said I was intrigued by earlier in the thread. Eventually asked if she wanted to go out...First response was "I"m not saying no but let me think about it" then she gave me some long explanation about how she didn't want to shoot me down but she wasnt ready for any sort of commitment and she hasn't really dated anyone. So I was kinda disappointed because I kinda took that as a no,

Was talking to her again today, told her I was being completely sincere I was interested in seeing and getting to no her but I wasn't looking for a commitment thing, just to hang out and get to know eachother. She smiled and told me she didn't forget and told me she was still thinking about it. That gave me a positive vibe. The fact she said she was "thinking about it". But who knows, we'll see where it goes from here I guess lol

Edit: LOL woke up to a text asking if I wanted to go to dinner.


Your comeback (second paragraph) was good. Kept your ground rather than backing down or being whiny, simply stating you were interested to know her and whatever comes of it. And this time it paid off. Good luck for what's next and keep the attitude going.
Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.
Shotcoder
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2316 Posts
February 02 2014 06:23 GMT
#7865
On February 02 2014 03:31 rezoacken wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 01 2014 15:35 Shotcoder wrote:
Been talking to the girl I said I was intrigued by earlier in the thread. Eventually asked if she wanted to go out...First response was "I"m not saying no but let me think about it" then she gave me some long explanation about how she didn't want to shoot me down but she wasnt ready for any sort of commitment and she hasn't really dated anyone. So I was kinda disappointed because I kinda took that as a no,

Was talking to her again today, told her I was being completely sincere I was interested in seeing and getting to no her but I wasn't looking for a commitment thing, just to hang out and get to know eachother. She smiled and told me she didn't forget and told me she was still thinking about it. That gave me a positive vibe. The fact she said she was "thinking about it". But who knows, we'll see where it goes from here I guess lol

Edit: LOL woke up to a text asking if I wanted to go to dinner.


Your comeback (second paragraph) was good. Kept your ground rather than backing down or being whiny, simply stating you were interested to know her and whatever comes of it. And this time it paid off. Good luck for what's next and keep the attitude going.


Went to dinner, spent 5 hours chatting with her...pretty successful night I believe.
Shotcoder - C+ BW Terran, Gold LoL(ADC Main)
xDaunt
Profile Joined March 2010
United States17988 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-02 06:50:31
February 02 2014 06:43 GMT
#7866
On February 02 2014 15:23 Shotcoder wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 02 2014 03:31 rezoacken wrote:
On February 01 2014 15:35 Shotcoder wrote:
Been talking to the girl I said I was intrigued by earlier in the thread. Eventually asked if she wanted to go out...First response was "I"m not saying no but let me think about it" then she gave me some long explanation about how she didn't want to shoot me down but she wasnt ready for any sort of commitment and she hasn't really dated anyone. So I was kinda disappointed because I kinda took that as a no,

Was talking to her again today, told her I was being completely sincere I was interested in seeing and getting to no her but I wasn't looking for a commitment thing, just to hang out and get to know eachother. She smiled and told me she didn't forget and told me she was still thinking about it. That gave me a positive vibe. The fact she said she was "thinking about it". But who knows, we'll see where it goes from here I guess lol

Edit: LOL woke up to a text asking if I wanted to go to dinner.


Your comeback (second paragraph) was good. Kept your ground rather than backing down or being whiny, simply stating you were interested to know her and whatever comes of it. And this time it paid off. Good luck for what's next and keep the attitude going.


Went to dinner, spent 5 hours chatting with her...pretty successful night I believe.

Did you kiss her? If you spend that long chatting with her, you better at least give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek.

EDIT: Just looked up at the prior posts regarding how this came about. I guess it depends upon how the vibe of the date went. That said, you better kiss her next time (if there is a next time).
Shotcoder
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2316 Posts
February 02 2014 07:03 GMT
#7867
On February 02 2014 15:43 xDaunt wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 02 2014 15:23 Shotcoder wrote:
On February 02 2014 03:31 rezoacken wrote:
On February 01 2014 15:35 Shotcoder wrote:
Been talking to the girl I said I was intrigued by earlier in the thread. Eventually asked if she wanted to go out...First response was "I"m not saying no but let me think about it" then she gave me some long explanation about how she didn't want to shoot me down but she wasnt ready for any sort of commitment and she hasn't really dated anyone. So I was kinda disappointed because I kinda took that as a no,

Was talking to her again today, told her I was being completely sincere I was interested in seeing and getting to no her but I wasn't looking for a commitment thing, just to hang out and get to know eachother. She smiled and told me she didn't forget and told me she was still thinking about it. That gave me a positive vibe. The fact she said she was "thinking about it". But who knows, we'll see where it goes from here I guess lol

Edit: LOL woke up to a text asking if I wanted to go to dinner.


Your comeback (second paragraph) was good. Kept your ground rather than backing down or being whiny, simply stating you were interested to know her and whatever comes of it. And this time it paid off. Good luck for what's next and keep the attitude going.


Went to dinner, spent 5 hours chatting with her...pretty successful night I believe.

Did you kiss her? If you spend that long chatting with her, you better at least give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek.

EDIT: Just looked up at the prior posts regarding how this came about. I guess it depends upon how the vibe of the date went. That said, you better kiss her next time (if there is a next time).



Nah, but I walked her to her car and she said she wanted to do it again sometime. So there's that! I didn't really feel it would have been appropriate, this was more of a feeling things out and finding out what each other is about(since we've worked together for awhile in different department but haven't really talked about outside of work things). Or At least that's what I gathered.
Shotcoder - C+ BW Terran, Gold LoL(ADC Main)
LeeDawg
Profile Joined April 2012
United States1306 Posts
February 02 2014 08:33 GMT
#7868
So I haven't actually posted about my own shit in almost a month, and god DAMN has a lot happened since then.

summary of my old posts:

I chased a girl I work with pretty hard. At first she was only interested in being friends. The more we talked, though, the more interested she got. We went on a few dates, and I invited her over one night and I made her dinner, we ended up making out. Things continued to progress well for the most part. Then one night, since we work at a restaurant/bar, I got drunk after clocking out, she was working (she's a waitress, I work in the kitchen.) She finished her shift and sat down next to me. I got upset, partially due to the booze, and partially due to her seeming flaky about the whole "situation." I blew up at her which is something I basically never ever do and stormed off. We had a conversation on the phone after I sobered up a bit, but I was still pissed, and told her it wasn't going to work right now.

New Shit that's happened since:

Next day, she's not working, I am. She gets white girl wasted, which is honestly pretty normal for all our employees, on occasion, and after I close up and sit at the bar, she comes over to me repeatedly, even though I'm being quite cold to her. She says a few times "I just want to be near you" but, since I'm in total douche mode, I just ignore her some more. She breaks down, sobbing crying at the opposite end of the bar with her best friend consoling her and leaves.

NOW I feel bad. Next day I get into contact with her and apologize. We start seeing each other again, and shit has been getting progressively more serious over the last 3 weeks. We've gone on 'normal' dates to movies and such, and we've had a few nights in at her place, since she gets the house to herself more frequently than I do. Friday we had sex for the first time. We're still not exclusive, since we both want to be 1000% prepared for that, although I know she is really into me, and I really dig her.

This would be all sunshine and rainbows, if not for one thing. On Monday, my boss, the kitchen manager, got fired, and over the next few months, I'm being trained to take over for him. So I'm going to kind of be her boss.

...

yup.
:-)
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
February 03 2014 04:03 GMT
#7869
Tomorrow is the moment of truth! Im gonna go ask math gurl to lunch. I declined dancing with two girls on friday night to harden my resolve. No backing out now.
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18869 Posts
February 03 2014 04:04 GMT
#7870
Typically one dances with women in order to harden their resolve, sounds like you got things flipped around hoss.
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
babishh
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada965 Posts
February 03 2014 04:15 GMT
#7871
so, I'm awful at getting to know new people because of my introvert and weird nature. I was hoping that moving to another country would've helped me being more relaxed in general, but it looks like i'm still the same ahah,.
Anyway, I gave online website a try - okcupid looks like a nice platform - and I've been able to get in touch with a few girls; I'm having dinner with one of them on Friday, let's see how it goes.
twitch.tv/babishh
chadissilent
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada1187 Posts
February 03 2014 04:15 GMT
#7872
On February 03 2014 13:03 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
Tomorrow is the moment of truth! Im gonna go ask math gurl to lunch. I declined dancing with two girls on friday night to harden my resolve. No backing out now.

...wut
Dogfoodboy16
Profile Joined October 2013
364 Posts
February 03 2014 05:38 GMT
#7873
I kept insulting my girlfriend and her family at a superbowl game because they are all Broncos fans. Now shes mad at me. Wut do i do? XD
Ahzz
Profile Joined May 2007
Finland780 Posts
February 03 2014 06:53 GMT
#7874
On February 03 2014 14:38 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:
I kept insulting my girlfriend and her family at a superbowl game because they are all Broncos fans. Now shes mad at me. Wut do i do? XD

You're so full of yourself. You act like an asshole with the people you are supposed to care about, or at least have no reason to be a jerk to, and you act out. Regardless if this place is for you to vent in, I still believe that you posted this message here just to brag/show off how little you care if things don't work out.

After acting out like that, think of a way to to see her or call her (no text) where you sincerely apologise and take the whole blame on yourself because that's all that there is to it. Just an apology may not amount to much for her even if you say it though. Basically what I mean is: Think of WHY you acted out the way you it, WHY it was immature, and WHY you NEVER want to be childish in this manner again. While apologising to her, perhaps show her this train of thought. The apology stays the same, but AT LEAST it shows that you cared enough to think and reflect on it. Anybody can say 'sorry', but you should be able to at least explain why you're sorry.

Maybe she will forgive you, maybe she won't. But don't for one second think you deserve an apology or act like it's a small deal if you want to be together with her.
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
February 03 2014 07:08 GMT
#7875
On February 03 2014 14:38 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:
I kept insulting my girlfriend and her family at a superbowl game because they are all Broncos fans. Now shes mad at me. Wut do i do? XD


your just an idiot...
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
rezoacken
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada2719 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-03 07:12:05
February 03 2014 07:11 GMT
#7876
^ (twice above) I have a hard time understanding how you got so upset without knowing any detail about the situation even though I agree his message was douchey.
Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.
Ahzz
Profile Joined May 2007
Finland780 Posts
February 03 2014 07:16 GMT
#7877
On February 03 2014 16:11 rezoacken wrote:
^ (twice above) I have a hard time understanding how you got so upset without knowing any detail about the situation even though I agree his message was douchey.

Hm, perhaps I sounded more upset than what I really was then. I kind of decided to take a stance where I really want to make him think because I think that a lot of his posts have been of similar nature, but I guess that wasn't the most mature thing to do.
rezoacken
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada2719 Posts
February 03 2014 07:19 GMT
#7878
It's alright. I just think it's a bit of a waste of your energy if in the end he didn't really insult them but joked around and then went here exaggerating.
Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.
MightyBill
Profile Joined October 2013
93 Posts
February 03 2014 07:50 GMT
#7879
On February 03 2014 14:38 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:
I kept insulting my girlfriend and her family at a superbowl game because they are all Broncos fans. Now shes mad at me. Wut do i do? XD


Is that the same girlfriend who has a cockblocking dog, and knows you want to go to sweden to dance with 15 year old girls?
Dogfoodboy16
Profile Joined October 2013
364 Posts
February 03 2014 07:52 GMT
#7880
Yea it was the wrong thing to do. I was just excited because I won a bunch of money on the game and had quite a bit to drink during the Super Bowl party at my house. I haven't talked to her yet ima let it blow over until tomorrow morning and apologize first thing.
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