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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
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Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On January 30 2014 00:28 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 29 2014 20:09 Erik.TheRed wrote:On January 29 2014 14:51 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:
What do European girls think of American men? I'm traveling abroad for the first time to Sweden in April for 2 weeks and wonder if the girls will like that I am American or be turned off. Any thing I should know? I've been living in Sweden for almost 6 months, and from my experience Swedes are generally fond of Americans in a social context. Just be yourself and don't act weird if you find yourself at the center of attention (it might happen more easily than you'd think-- Swedes are typically kind of shy and stoic). Try to learn a few phrases in Swedish and it'll be even better. But do you plan on going clubbing or just generally meeting people at events/in the street? It's good to know I won't be shunned XD I was planning on doing a little bit of both clubbing and traveling around on foot but don't really have plans yet on what exactly I will do when I get there. I'll start to learn some of the language as a start I suppose. I heard rumors that in Sweden you can walk down the street while drinking a beer and not get arrested. Is that true. My friend also told me that the legal age of consent in Sweden is 15. Does that mean when I go out clubbing and a girl that doesn't look 18 starts dancing with me I don't have to run away for fear of being thrown in prison?
I was actually shocked that they forced you to hide alcohol in the streets when I immigrated here.
To me it's so stupid... Like why is that law there ? Kids probably see 10 times as much alcohol bottles at home than in the streets if that law wasn't there.
Oh and drinking behind your little paper bag... everybody knows it's alcohol.
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On January 30 2014 03:16 rezoacken wrote:Show nested quote +On January 30 2014 00:28 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:On January 29 2014 20:09 Erik.TheRed wrote:On January 29 2014 14:51 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:
What do European girls think of American men? I'm traveling abroad for the first time to Sweden in April for 2 weeks and wonder if the girls will like that I am American or be turned off. Any thing I should know? I've been living in Sweden for almost 6 months, and from my experience Swedes are generally fond of Americans in a social context. Just be yourself and don't act weird if you find yourself at the center of attention (it might happen more easily than you'd think-- Swedes are typically kind of shy and stoic). Try to learn a few phrases in Swedish and it'll be even better. But do you plan on going clubbing or just generally meeting people at events/in the street? It's good to know I won't be shunned XD I was planning on doing a little bit of both clubbing and traveling around on foot but don't really have plans yet on what exactly I will do when I get there. I'll start to learn some of the language as a start I suppose. I heard rumors that in Sweden you can walk down the street while drinking a beer and not get arrested. Is that true. My friend also told me that the legal age of consent in Sweden is 15. Does that mean when I go out clubbing and a girl that doesn't look 18 starts dancing with me I don't have to run away for fear of being thrown in prison? I was actually shocked that they forced you to hide alcohol in the streets when I immigrated here. To me it's so stupid... Like why is that law there ? Kids probably see 10 times as much alcohol bottles at home than in the streets if that law wasn't there. Oh and drinking behind your little paper bag... everybody knows it's alcohol.
You aren't even supposed to be drunk in public let alone drink in public in the USA.
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I know. I guess the idea is to limit violence or something but I doubt it's useful.
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On January 30 2014 03:19 Najda wrote:Show nested quote +On January 30 2014 03:16 rezoacken wrote:On January 30 2014 00:28 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:On January 29 2014 20:09 Erik.TheRed wrote:On January 29 2014 14:51 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:
What do European girls think of American men? I'm traveling abroad for the first time to Sweden in April for 2 weeks and wonder if the girls will like that I am American or be turned off. Any thing I should know? I've been living in Sweden for almost 6 months, and from my experience Swedes are generally fond of Americans in a social context. Just be yourself and don't act weird if you find yourself at the center of attention (it might happen more easily than you'd think-- Swedes are typically kind of shy and stoic). Try to learn a few phrases in Swedish and it'll be even better. But do you plan on going clubbing or just generally meeting people at events/in the street? It's good to know I won't be shunned XD I was planning on doing a little bit of both clubbing and traveling around on foot but don't really have plans yet on what exactly I will do when I get there. I'll start to learn some of the language as a start I suppose. I heard rumors that in Sweden you can walk down the street while drinking a beer and not get arrested. Is that true. My friend also told me that the legal age of consent in Sweden is 15. Does that mean when I go out clubbing and a girl that doesn't look 18 starts dancing with me I don't have to run away for fear of being thrown in prison? I was actually shocked that they forced you to hide alcohol in the streets when I immigrated here. To me it's so stupid... Like why is that law there ? Kids probably see 10 times as much alcohol bottles at home than in the streets if that law wasn't there. Oh and drinking behind your little paper bag... everybody knows it's alcohol. You aren't even supposed to be drunk in public let alone drink in public in the USA.
I think that New Orleans (maybe all of Louisiana) could be the only place in the US where you're allowed to drink publicly.
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On January 30 2014 03:19 Najda wrote:Show nested quote +On January 30 2014 03:16 rezoacken wrote:On January 30 2014 00:28 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:On January 29 2014 20:09 Erik.TheRed wrote:On January 29 2014 14:51 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:
What do European girls think of American men? I'm traveling abroad for the first time to Sweden in April for 2 weeks and wonder if the girls will like that I am American or be turned off. Any thing I should know? I've been living in Sweden for almost 6 months, and from my experience Swedes are generally fond of Americans in a social context. Just be yourself and don't act weird if you find yourself at the center of attention (it might happen more easily than you'd think-- Swedes are typically kind of shy and stoic). Try to learn a few phrases in Swedish and it'll be even better. But do you plan on going clubbing or just generally meeting people at events/in the street? It's good to know I won't be shunned XD I was planning on doing a little bit of both clubbing and traveling around on foot but don't really have plans yet on what exactly I will do when I get there. I'll start to learn some of the language as a start I suppose. I heard rumors that in Sweden you can walk down the street while drinking a beer and not get arrested. Is that true. My friend also told me that the legal age of consent in Sweden is 15. Does that mean when I go out clubbing and a girl that doesn't look 18 starts dancing with me I don't have to run away for fear of being thrown in prison? I was actually shocked that they forced you to hide alcohol in the streets when I immigrated here. To me it's so stupid... Like why is that law there ? Kids probably see 10 times as much alcohol bottles at home than in the streets if that law wasn't there. Oh and drinking behind your little paper bag... everybody knows it's alcohol. You aren't even supposed to be drunk in public let alone drink in public in the USA.
unless your in vegas... aka adult disney land 
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Northern Ireland26345 Posts
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On January 30 2014 00:28 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 29 2014 20:09 Erik.TheRed wrote:On January 29 2014 14:51 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:
What do European girls think of American men? I'm traveling abroad for the first time to Sweden in April for 2 weeks and wonder if the girls will like that I am American or be turned off. Any thing I should know? I've been living in Sweden for almost 6 months, and from my experience Swedes are generally fond of Americans in a social context. Just be yourself and don't act weird if you find yourself at the center of attention (it might happen more easily than you'd think-- Swedes are typically kind of shy and stoic). Try to learn a few phrases in Swedish and it'll be even better. But do you plan on going clubbing or just generally meeting people at events/in the street? It's good to know I won't be shunned XD I was planning on doing a little bit of both clubbing and traveling around on foot but don't really have plans yet on what exactly I will do when I get there. I'll start to learn some of the language as a start I suppose. I heard rumors that in Sweden you can walk down the street while drinking a beer and not get arrested. Is that true. My friend also told me that the legal age of consent in Sweden is 15. Does that mean when I go out clubbing and a girl that doesn't look 18 starts dancing with me I don't have to run away for fear of being thrown in prison?
I was a bit shocked the first time I went on the tunnelbana (metro) on a friday night and saw pretty much everyone drinking. That got me thinking about how the whole brown-bag thing in the US is actually pretty dumb so now it doesn't seem like a big deal anymore. I'm not sure what the official laws are though, because the other day there was some guy hiding a liter of vodka in his puffy-coat, but maybe he was just goofing around with his friends and/or underage (I think it's 20 to have hard liquor).
I have no idea about the age of consent thing but most clubs/bars are pretty strict about checking IDs and a lot of the nightlife-places actually have an age limit of 22 or 23.
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Sounds like the only bad thing about my trip to sweden is going to be the currency exchange rate. It will cost me like 2000 american dollars to buy a girl a drink -_-;
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Alright, guys so i have class with this girl everyday at 8:30. I worked up the courage to sit by her, and we talk in class and after class as well. I'm still a little unsure of how to proceed. We have midterms tomorrow and she has another one on friday. So i didn't want to suggest hanging out. I want to get to know her a bit better, but was planning on making something happen next week. I feel like if i wait too long i will just end up friended.
Any suggestions? I feel like i don't need help but for some reason im a little nervous which is a little unlike me. i should probably start with getting her number. lol...
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On January 30 2014 09:17 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
Alright, guys so i have class with this girl everyday at 8:30. I worked up the courage to sit by her, and we talk in class and after class as well. I'm still a little unsure of how to proceed. We have midterms tomorrow and she has another one on friday. So i didn't want to suggest hanging out. I want to get to know her a bit better, but was planning on making something happen next week. I feel like if i wait too long i will just end up friended.
Any suggestions? I feel like i don't need help but for some reason im a little nervous which is a little unlike me. i should probably start with getting her number. lol...
You just said what you should do, get her number and make plans.
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Being a little nervous is a good thing - means you actually care for her response - and that is a good place to start a relationship
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Blah so I met this girl online, and we hit it off pretty good, even gave her my number the first day and we chat all of last week. Last Thursday, invited her to some pub trivia, had an amazing time with her. She told me she wanted to see me again after that. This past Sunday we hung out again, this time at her place. She had never seen Game of Thrones before so I brought it over, that also went great, sadly I was too nervous to give her a kiss. On Monday, I was kicking myself for not giving her a kiss and so I texted her to see if it was ok if I came by. Went by we kissed and chatted for a little then I left. I didn't text her on Tuesday to give her some space and not feel clingy and plus I really like this girl. Today I texted her twice and she never responded back and now I feel like total poop D:
I'm totally fine with rejection as that is the life a single person, but this one is beginning to sting, since moving to this state I haven't really meet someone I actually liked until now. Anyway was wondering what any of you guys would do. Personally I was going to wait until friday give her one last message and if still no response I'll just delete her number and leave her alone.
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Hopefully she'll text back! Sounds like you had some chemistry going. Shoot her another text soonish - like tomorrow, see if she wants to hang out on Friday or Saturday. If she doesn't respond to that, cut your losses. Don't delete her number, but have the willpower to not text her randomly while drunk. That way if she hollers back in the future you won't look like an asshole who wrote her off too quickly, you know? Good luck!
In my own dating news, my darling fiance (and the sweetest guy in the world!) is going to be emigrating to the US in February. The US embassy in London gave him the stamp of approval for the K-1 visa on Tuesday, and he'll be arriving on Valentine's Day. I've never been much for V-Day, preferring to think of it as National Singles' Awareness/I Should Dump This Asshole Day until I started dating my fiance in 2012, but I've already got a dinner menu planned and I'm testing wines for the next three weeks. Undecided about smarmy over-the-top decorations for my apartment.
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On January 30 2014 11:03 Calanthe wrote:
Hopefully she'll text back! Sounds like you had some chemistry going. Shoot her another text soonish - like tomorrow, see if she wants to hang out on Friday or Saturday. If she doesn't respond to that, cut your losses. Don't delete her number, but have the willpower to not text her randomly while drunk. That way if she hollers back in the future you won't look like an asshole who wrote her off too quickly, you know? Good luck!
In my own dating news, my darling fiance (and the sweetest guy in the world!) is going to be emigrating to the US in February. The US embassy in London gave him the stamp of approval for the K-1 visa on Tuesday, and he'll be arriving on Valentine's Day. I've never been much for V-Day, preferring to think of it as National Singles' Awareness/I Should Dump This Asshole Day until I started dating my fiance in 2012, but I've already got a dinner menu planned and I'm testing wines for the next three weeks. Undecided about smarmy over-the-top decorations for my apartment.
Yeah, was thinking about shooting a text tomorrow instead. She has been straightforward the whole entire time we have chatted so it is really weird. Oh well I guess.
Congrats! I hope you guys have a great V-Day!
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Maybe she's got some shit goin' on. You never know. When/if she comes around again, don't fall into the "holy fuck where were you i was sweating like a pig" thing.
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On January 30 2014 11:22 Calanthe wrote:
Maybe she's got some shit goin' on. You never know. When/if she comes around again, don't fall into the "holy fuck where were you i was sweating like a pig" thing.
Haha I would never do that but I understand what you are saying.
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Don't delete her number as has been stated. I know it's easy to panic in a situation where you feel out of touch, but try not to push yourself on her too much. The hardest part of dating is when you're past the first few dates and it seems you're really hitting it off but aren't in a relationship yet. Well, at least, for me.
What I do is try to shoot a message at least once a day and if she doesn't reply then that's no big deal. I try not to send more than one message with no reply unless there's something that seems really interesting to share. And I usually don't even leave my messages open-ended, so it doesn't seem like I'm forcing a reply.
Your idea seems fine except for the number deletion bit. If you're really hitting it off as much as it sounds like in your post, she'll probably be texting you soon anyway. For now, you are doing the right thing in avoiding being clingy.
Good luck! 
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On January 30 2014 11:41 rebdomine wrote:Don't delete her number as has been stated. I know it's easy to panic in a situation where you feel out of touch, but try not to push yourself on her too much. The hardest part of dating is when you're past the first few dates and it seems you're really hitting it off but aren't in a relationship yet. Well, at least, for me. What I do is try to shoot a message at least once a day and if she doesn't reply then that's no big deal. I try not to send more than one message with no reply unless there's something that seems really interesting to share. And I usually don't even leave my messages open-ended, so it doesn't seem like I'm forcing a reply. Your idea seems fine except for the number deletion bit. If you're really hitting it off as much as it sounds like in your post, she'll probably be texting you soon anyway. For now, you are doing the right thing in avoiding being clingy. Good luck!
Cool cool. So what kind of message would that be? I really don't want to mess it up XD
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On January 30 2014 10:57 SafeWord wrote:
Blah so I met this girl online, and we hit it off pretty good, even gave her my number the first day and we chat all of last week. Last Thursday, invited her to some pub trivia, had an amazing time with her. She told me she wanted to see me again after that. This past Sunday we hung out again, this time at her place. She had never seen Game of Thrones before so I brought it over, that also went great, sadly I was too nervous to give her a kiss. On Monday, I was kicking myself for not giving her a kiss and so I texted her to see if it was ok if I came by. Went by we kissed and chatted for a little then I left. I didn't text her on Tuesday to give her some space and not feel clingy and plus I really like this girl. Today I texted her twice and she never responded back and now I feel like total poop D:
I'm totally fine with rejection as that is the life a single person, but this one is beginning to sting, since moving to this state I haven't really meet someone I actually liked until now. Anyway was wondering what any of you guys would do. Personally I was going to wait until friday give her one last message and if still no response I'll just delete her number and leave her alone.
1. Give it a week before labeling it over
2. However, now the ball is hers so the only thing you can do is wait for a throw. So don't beat you over it.
3. Like you said give space, you texted today. wait 2 days, call her (text if no response). wait 3 other days. If no response move on.
4. Your online account should still be active meanwhile
Obviously, don't send whiny message like "Are you okay ?" "Please call me" etc. Send stronger stuff like "I'm doing this, you wan to come ?", "I'm near your place, I could come over". "Hey, was your cellphone stolen ?" "How about X friday night ?" etc. Obviously the exacts words depends on who you're talking to.
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Ugh no don't do that ^. That comes across as weird, as does messaging once a day. "Hey, I'm going to pub trivia again on Friday, do you wanna join?" is fine. It's a friendly gesture, and she knows the score, since you guys made out last time you hung out. It seems like while there was some mutual affection, it was still casual. Saying "Hey I'm really worried that you're not contacting me" should be reserved for more serious relationships, because it's still entirely possible that she thought it over and decided that while you're a fine dude, she wasn't that into you.
We're overthinking this. Invite her out again, and if no response, write it off and don't delete her number.
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EPT
