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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
@Calanthe I have a feeling you both said the exact same thing I did and telling him not to do it Which is "Invite her out again, and if no response, write it off and don't delete her number." And also telling him not to be clingy. If you're referring to the exact " " words most of them are just an invitation. If some of it rings a bit wrong though I apologize, I don't do that stuff in English usually, but the idea is still the same and nobody should copy the words of someone else. Catch the idea and put it in your own words.
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If she didn't reply to texts twice in a row, don't text again. Wait some, call. What you want to tell her exactly depends on how she's reacting (her answering the phone means its on anyway), anything from another straight up invitation (if she declines you need to bring the ball in her court à la "Gosh, my plans are the worst. To what did you want to invite me again next week?" ~ playful, playful, playful) all the way to just some casual talk is fine.
If she does not respond to that call, give it a week and another shot - still no response? Drop it. If she just texts back to your call proceed with caution. Personally, the only real recoveries from that that I got to work comparatively consistently is pulling the most subtle Let's-just-be-friends card I can find at that time and escalate from there.
Prolly not your cup of tea if you lack experience with that but then again I pretty much shoot any woman I meet as far as possible into some form of friendzone as soon as possible unless I want to escalate things right naow.
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I think it's appropriate to use the language of my generation to make this momentous announcement:
#theprincethatwaspromised #royalflush #notababydaddy
Regarding r.Evo's reply:
Is it really customary to put in that much effort? I literally file it under 'Not interested' and move on after one not replied-to invitation.
Do hot girls really just forget to reply to an invitation to a date?
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I don't think there's a single post by SixStrings in this thread that doesn't make me cringe.
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On January 30 2014 19:33 SixStrings wrote: #royalflush
I don't know whether I should laugh or cry.
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If I need a sentence to be conscious of whenever I try to date a girl, does "be playful and don't forget to have fun" cut it?
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Northern Ireland23857 Posts
I doubt they forget SixStrings, although sometimes its just a 'shit test'
I'm more on your side of the fence mind. If I have to carefully plan just to get a reply to a text I take it as rudeness and leave it. It's enough effort charming girls when you're as strange as I am, fuck those kinda games :p
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On January 30 2014 07:32 Dogfoodboy16 wrote: Sounds like the only bad thing about my trip to sweden is going to be the currency exchange rate. It will cost me like 2000 american dollars to buy a girl a drink -_-;
The only thing you should worry about is to not come across as ignorant. That's basically the biggest stereotype about Americans that i know of.
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Northern Ireland23857 Posts
Also don't overcompensate by trying to show you're not ignorant. Granted, it's probably more an issue for us Irish but the amount of Americans I've met who try to tell ME about the troubles.
Foreigners are actually who I tend to do best with for some reason. I once banged a Finnish girl who was impressed with my knowledge of the Winter War among other things. Also a Bulgarian girl who enjoyed my ability to pronounce Dmitar Berbatov's name right.
I think girls appreciate a little knowledge of their country, but not making it the focus of conversation as it kind of makes it seem like you want to fuck their homeland and not them. Equally, people dislike bringing up of national stereotypes unless in amusing fashion. If I have to hear any more about Guiness I'm going to go postal
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On January 30 2014 20:19 Wombat_NI wrote: fuck those kinda games :p
Yeah, fuck games in general. Be straight or be gone.
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Northern Ireland23857 Posts
Except Starcraft.
Man if you were only a chick SixStrings, and lived here, and were slightly more moral :p...
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On January 30 2014 21:34 Wombat_NI wrote: Except Starcraft.
Man if you were only a chick SixStrings, and lived here, and were slightly more moral :p... Only slightly? You sicken me.
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that dating hows your luck bromance too strong
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Northern Ireland23857 Posts
Can't help who you fall in love with mang
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On January 30 2014 19:33 SixStrings wrote: I think it's appropriate to use the language of my generation to make this momentous announcement:
#theprincethatwaspromised #royalflush #notababydaddy
Regarding r.Evo's reply:
Is it really customary to put in that much effort? I literally file it under 'Not interested' and move on after one not replied-to invitation.
Do hot girls really just forget to reply to an invitation to a date? I don't think it is tbh. Most regular guys I know either drop it instantly or write her whiny texts for three weeks. Overall I'd say my personal success rate after she doesn't respond initially is pretty damn low (if she doesn't respond to something it's a huge indicator that you fucked up somewhere earlier) but I don't see a big issue with keeping up for a little while. If it works in 10% of cases I invested like... two extra texts and one extra call aka a grand total of 5 minutes over a week each? Worth it to me.
As for "forgetting" to reply.. it's at least one of the most common answers. Just like I might "forget" replying to the girl that seemed alright when I got her number but replying to the other five I met over the weekend somehow ended up taking priority. Just like with any non-reply either you fucked something up or you're really, really unlucky. The more often it happens the less likely it's about luck.
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On January 30 2014 20:04 kaykaykay wrote: If I need a sentence to be conscious of whenever I try to date a girl, does "be playful and don't forget to have fun" cut it? "Have fun and don't forget that being sexually interested is normal." would be among the lines of what I'd suggest. If you both end up enjoying the time together and you're not representing yourself as "a buddy" but "someone for maybe more" aka a regular sexual human being (which includes escalation and all that jazz) you pretty much got all bases covered.
Keep in mind that "having fun" is meant among the lines of "have a great time and draw her into it" and not "make sure she's having fun".
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On January 30 2014 21:08 Wombat_NI wrote: Also don't overcompensate by trying to show you're not ignorant. Granted, it's probably more an issue for us Irish but the amount of Americans I've met who try to tell ME about the troubles.
Foreigners are actually who I tend to do best with for some reason. I once banged a Finnish girl who was impressed with my knowledge of the Winter War among other things. Also a Bulgarian girl who enjoyed my ability to pronounce Dmitar Berbatov's name right.
I think girls appreciate a little knowledge of their country, but not making it the focus of conversation as it kind of makes it seem like you want to fuck their homeland and not them. Equally, people dislike bringing up of national stereotypes unless in amusing fashion. If I have to hear any more about Guiness I'm going to go postal
+1 to that, it even goes beyond just talking to girls imo. I hang out with international students all the time and from my experience almost anyone you meet in a social setting will appreciate if you understand anything outside of your own culture/country. Since I've traveled more than an average American most people are surprised that I know anything about small towns in Europe, international politics, world history in general, etc.
So if you have a decent understanding of geography/history/world culture then don't sweat it. Of course try not to act pretentious either, but that should be easy if you genuinely enjoy conversing about these things with new people.
unrelated: what's your favorite stout? I'm looking for a good one that I can find here in Sweden.
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On January 31 2014 02:09 Erik.TheRed wrote:Show nested quote +On January 30 2014 21:08 Wombat_NI wrote: Also don't overcompensate by trying to show you're not ignorant. Granted, it's probably more an issue for us Irish but the amount of Americans I've met who try to tell ME about the troubles.
Foreigners are actually who I tend to do best with for some reason. I once banged a Finnish girl who was impressed with my knowledge of the Winter War among other things. Also a Bulgarian girl who enjoyed my ability to pronounce Dmitar Berbatov's name right.
I think girls appreciate a little knowledge of their country, but not making it the focus of conversation as it kind of makes it seem like you want to fuck their homeland and not them. Equally, people dislike bringing up of national stereotypes unless in amusing fashion. If I have to hear any more about Guiness I'm going to go postal +1 to that, it even goes beyond just talking to girls imo. I hang out with international students all the time and from my experience almost anyone you meet in a social setting will appreciate if you understand anything outside of your own culture/country. Since I've traveled more than an average American most people are surprised that I know anything about small towns in Europe, international politics, world history in general, etc. So if you have a decent understanding of geography/history/world culture then don't sweat it. Of course try not to act pretentious either, but that should be easy if you genuinely enjoy conversing about these things with new people. unrelated: what's your favorite stout? I'm looking for a good one that I can find here in Sweden.
As long as you talk about stuff that you like without trying to impress to much, you're fine anywhere.
For stout you should ask in the beer appreciation thread, or just go to a store and try several. I'm more into light and dark beers myself so can't really give you my opinion.
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Netherlands6175 Posts
On January 30 2014 11:03 Calanthe wrote: Hopefully she'll text back! Sounds like you had some chemistry going. Shoot her another text soonish - like tomorrow, see if she wants to hang out on Friday or Saturday. If she doesn't respond to that, cut your losses. Don't delete her number, but have the willpower to not text her randomly while drunk. That way if she hollers back in the future you won't look like an asshole who wrote her off too quickly, you know? Good luck!
In my own dating news, my darling fiance (and the sweetest guy in the world!) is going to be emigrating to the US in February. The US embassy in London gave him the stamp of approval for the K-1 visa on Tuesday, and he'll be arriving on Valentine's Day. I've never been much for V-Day, preferring to think of it as National Singles' Awareness/I Should Dump This Asshole Day until I started dating my fiance in 2012, but I've already got a dinner menu planned and I'm testing wines for the next three weeks. Undecided about smarmy over-the-top decorations for my apartment. That is cute ^_^ Excited for you. GL with that!
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