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On December 19 2013 13:59 Dogfoodboy16 wrote: My girlfriend got mad at me after reading my final essay defending date rape for my philosophy class final.I guess her friend was date raped before. Any ideas how I can make her stop acting crazy?
If you care to read my essay for yourself here it is:
Ever since the term Date Rape was coined by doctor Mary Koss in 1987, a convoluted piece of legislation of the same name has been injected into the United States of America’s court system. Over the last two and a half decades, this law has been proven ineffective and destructive for a vast majority of the female population while simultaneously keeping the justice system gridlocked with litigant’s arbitrary and contradictory allegations of abuse. Having date rape being illegal is fallacious for a multitude of reasons. It is ineffective; it conflicts with laws already put in place, utilizes the term rape incorrectly, based upon unreliable evidence, creates more victims, and hurts the victims of date rape more than the actual event. Date rape has nothing to do with rape. The Federal Bureau of Investigation classifies the term rape as a violent crime. Furthermore, rape has nothing at all to do with sex, just ask a feminist. They will gladly point out that rape is about having dominion, power, and control over someone. Date rape is defined as a sexual act that rarely involved violence. That means date rape is a sexual crime not a violent crime. It is disingenuous and irresponsible to attach the word rape to a crime that is virtually absent of violence. The term date rape is interchangeable with term sexual assault. Sexual assault is any involuntary sexual act in which a person is threatened, coerced, or forced to engage against their will, or any sexual touching of a person who has not consented. With sexual assault laws already on the books, the date rape law could be adjudicated from arbitration without issue, date rape cases could be easily converted to sexual assault charges, and the criminal litigation process would be streamlined. This simple move would make rape cases less complicated and confusing while correctly classifying date rape as a sexual crime. Having date rape illegal doesn’t prevent the prevalence of rape, but increases the amount of victims, further exacerbating the problem. Victim is the priciest sell in this world. The victim feels the most and suffers the best. Once you label someone as a victim, the more likely a person is to be victimized. When you have been victimized by someone, the arousal of that encounter etches a pattern into the brain, the brain then tries to master that arousal by attracting perpetrators that are prone to the kind of abusive behavior they fear, and the cycle of victimization continues. This phenomenon is called traumatic reenactment, where a survivor of previous abuse compulsively seeks out the same acts of abuse for the remainder of their lifetime. While date rape is awful and should be avoided at all costs, acknowledgement that you are powerless in a situation is far more painful than the actual indent. If a person never sees themself as a victim, the pattern never emerges, thus the cycle of abuse never begins. Most rape victims report that revisiting the trauma of a date rape committed against them while testifying against their alleged assailant is more damaging to their mental and emotional psyche than the actual sexual assault. When the justice system does more damage than a rapist you know something is fundamentally broken within American legal practices. In several circumstances, federal criminal court judges have actually ordered rape victims to appear at the rapists…I mean therapists office. The victim has to relive the trauma in perpetuity by talking to the psychologist about the event ad nauseum. It is much healthier to accept what happened, chalk it up to making poor life choices, and move on. Alcohol is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs for women. Alcohol is also the most common intoxicants involving date rape. Women's erotic placidity is much more different than a man’s. Studies conducted measuring genital blood flow concludes that; women do not inherently know what turns them on. In women’s biological psychology, there is a schism between how her body is responding to a stimulus and what she reports to her brain consciously. From this information we can deduct that a women’s ability to gauge how her body is responding to sexual encounters can become compromised. Adding the consumption of alcohol to the picture further complicates the issue making a date rape case next to impossible to prove within a reasonable doubt. Therefore the vast majority of date rape cases lack the validity to be tried in a court of law. Recovering for a traumatic event is completely dependent or the victim’s intrinsic motivation to endure adversity. Some people get dealt a bad hand in life and half to work that much harder than to overcome the obstacles placed in front of them. Nobody has ever gone on to live a productive and meaningful life by obsessing over one obstacle, suing the obstacle, spending years of their life and thousands of dollars putting the obstacle on trial, and throwing the obstacle in jail. Letting a specific event define your standing in the world is tantamount to wasting the greatest gift the world has bestowed upon them, life. Date Rape is a perfect excuse for becoming depressed and surrendering your worth to the court system, relying on lawyers to “come in like a wrecking ball” and fight for what’s left of their plaintiff’s dignity. Or they overcome adversity, accomplish tremendous feats, and become the hero of their own story. Stop blaming environmental factors for getting into precarious situations, take responsibility for your own actions, and learn from both good and bad experiences.
I actually think quite a bit of this essay is relatively logical and well-written
*brain explode*
I thought this had to be some sort of troll/copypasta cause that is possibly the worst piece of writing I've ever read. It has constant grammatical errors, tense confusion, POV/audience confusion, a lack of authority and support, massive logical holes, in addition to being a repugnant insensitive position. It's like the perfect storm of awful.
Yeah man, I wasn't sure what was going on. Some kind of reddit troll? I wouldn't be surprised if this has mortally wounded your relationship with your girlfriend. You are a lame deer my friend, hobbling along. Xmas present be damned.
On December 19 2013 14:02 farvacola wrote: For the good of the thread and all of TL mankind, I'd edit that out and probably not post it anywhere else on this site again. You'll have thought that your girlfriend let you off easy after what is to come otherwise.
On December 19 2013 13:59 Dogfoodboy16 wrote: My girlfriend got mad at me after reading my final essay defending date rape for my philosophy class final.I guess her friend was date raped before. Any ideas how I can make her stop acting crazy?
If you care to read my essay for yourself here it is:
Ever since the term Date Rape was coined by doctor Mary Koss in 1987, a convoluted piece of legislation of the same name has been injected into the United States of America’s court system. Over the last two and a half decades, this law has been proven ineffective and destructive for a vast majority of the female population while simultaneously keeping the justice system gridlocked with litigant’s arbitrary and contradictory allegations of abuse. Having date rape being illegal is fallacious for a multitude of reasons. It is ineffective; it conflicts with laws already put in place, utilizes the term rape incorrectly, based upon unreliable evidence, creates more victims, and hurts the victims of date rape more than the actual event. Date rape has nothing to do with rape. The Federal Bureau of Investigation classifies the term rape as a violent crime. Furthermore, rape has nothing at all to do with sex, just ask a feminist. They will gladly point out that rape is about having dominion, power, and control over someone. Date rape is defined as a sexual act that rarely involved violence. That means date rape is a sexual crime not a violent crime. It is disingenuous and irresponsible to attach the word rape to a crime that is virtually absent of violence. The term date rape is interchangeable with term sexual assault. Sexual assault is any involuntary sexual act in which a person is threatened, coerced, or forced to engage against their will, or any sexual touching of a person who has not consented. With sexual assault laws already on the books, the date rape law could be adjudicated from arbitration without issue, date rape cases could be easily converted to sexual assault charges, and the criminal litigation process would be streamlined. This simple move would make rape cases less complicated and confusing while correctly classifying date rape as a sexual crime. Having date rape illegal doesn’t prevent the prevalence of rape, but increases the amount of victims, further exacerbating the problem. Victim is the priciest sell in this world. The victim feels the most and suffers the best. Once you label someone as a victim, the more likely a person is to be victimized. When you have been victimized by someone, the arousal of that encounter etches a pattern into the brain, the brain then tries to master that arousal by attracting perpetrators that are prone to the kind of abusive behavior they fear, and the cycle of victimization continues. This phenomenon is called traumatic reenactment, where a survivor of previous abuse compulsively seeks out the same acts of abuse for the remainder of their lifetime. While date rape is awful and should be avoided at all costs, acknowledgement that you are powerless in a situation is far more painful than the actual indent. If a person never sees themself as a victim, the pattern never emerges, thus the cycle of abuse never begins. Most rape victims report that revisiting the trauma of a date rape committed against them while testifying against their alleged assailant is more damaging to their mental and emotional psyche than the actual sexual assault. When the justice system does more damage than a rapist you know something is fundamentally broken within American legal practices. In several circumstances, federal criminal court judges have actually ordered rape victims to appear at the rapists…I mean therapists office. The victim has to relive the trauma in perpetuity by talking to the psychologist about the event ad nauseum. It is much healthier to accept what happened, chalk it up to making poor life choices, and move on. Alcohol is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs for women. Alcohol is also the most common intoxicants involving date rape. Women's erotic placidity is much more different than a man’s. Studies conducted measuring genital blood flow concludes that; women do not inherently know what turns them on. In women’s biological psychology, there is a schism between how her body is responding to a stimulus and what she reports to her brain consciously. From this information we can deduct that a women’s ability to gauge how her body is responding to sexual encounters can become compromised. Adding the consumption of alcohol to the picture further complicates the issue making a date rape case next to impossible to prove within a reasonable doubt. Therefore the vast majority of date rape cases lack the validity to be tried in a court of law. Recovering for a traumatic event is completely dependent or the victim’s intrinsic motivation to endure adversity. Some people get dealt a bad hand in life and half to work that much harder than to overcome the obstacles placed in front of them. Nobody has ever gone on to live a productive and meaningful life by obsessing over one obstacle, suing the obstacle, spending years of their life and thousands of dollars putting the obstacle on trial, and throwing the obstacle in jail. Letting a specific event define your standing in the world is tantamount to wasting the greatest gift the world has bestowed upon them, life. Date Rape is a perfect excuse for becoming depressed and surrendering your worth to the court system, relying on lawyers to “come in like a wrecking ball” and fight for what’s left of their plaintiff’s dignity. Or they overcome adversity, accomplish tremendous feats, and become the hero of their own story. Stop blaming environmental factors for getting into precarious situations, take responsibility for your own actions, and learn from both good and bad experiences.
I actually think quite a bit of this essay is relatively logical and well-written
*brain explode*
I thought this had to be some sort of troll/copypasta cause that is possibly the worst piece of writing I've ever read. It has constant grammatical errors, tense confusion, POV/audience confusion, a lack of authority and support, massive logical holes, in addition to being a repugnant insensitive position. It's like the perfect storm of awful.
Glad you conveniently ignored the part where I said "until the end" when it was clear there was a massive disconnect between what he wrote earlier and there, the conclusion destroyed any credibility it had before. Also, it was most likely copy and pasted from a word doc so the indents wouldn't make sense, I also didn't look for every damn grammatical error and tense misuse or whatever because frankly it had nothing to do with the actual content of the paper. It also appears that "repugnant insensitive position" was the goal of the paper which makes everything I wrote irrelevant anyways because he doesn't actually hold this position. I only included the first paragraph under the assumption he actually held that position, and I tried to be nice about it because I didn't know.
That would drive me nuts if she couldn't handle the fact that you wrote a school paper that had to be on this or something probably equally offensive and she was still pissed after you explained that
On December 19 2013 15:29 Djzapz wrote: This is hardly relevant to this thread because I've been dating a girl for a few months now and it's going great, but before that, early this year, shortly after being dumped, I was courting this smart young lady who I was madly infatuated with and I was trying to make her my rebound girl. She was impressive in many ways and I acted confident but frankly she was quite intimidating. She's a master's student like myself and works on a bunch of projects on the side and stuff...
Anyways so we had been flirting for weeks and I had not made any sort of "move" because I'm like that, I pretty much suck at this. Anyway, some of the flirting was literally like fully fledged dirty questions/remarks and whatnot. We had lunch a few times, no real date though. And at some point she sent a picture of herself, not a "sexy pic" but it did show a bit of skin... I texted "nice legs!" or whatever, which was perfectly within the previously set boundaries of stuff we talked about. She responds "uuuuh alright".
What the actual fuck? I still have nightmares to this day because of that 180 turn. When I got that text, I feel like I friendzoned her. It sounds stupid and it's kinda not true, she could have redeemed herself easily (for some time anyway), but it was so fucking annoying that she'd pull BS like that! And just a day or two later, she'd be back to sending me dirty comments and she was super friendly, until it died down because I kind of stopped paying attention to her shit.
A friend tried to match me with this girl, but only after it didn't work out, he told me about her insane and apparently random mood swings that make her go berserk at ANYBODY at ANY TIME for no reason whatsoever. And apparently, no one is immune to her wrath. She'll randomly snap and be disrespectful or passive aggressive with people just like that. I know her ex, we've gamed together 3-4 times, and apparently that's why he dumped her even though she was "out of his league" both physically, intellectually and in terms of his career. Apparently she, a masters student with a full life, broke down when he dumped her - and he's an unemployed 23 year old who lives with his mother.
She's still an impressive girl, but she was also a bit self-centered and manipulative and when I told her that I teach a university course, I felt like she tried to 1-up it with her accomplishments and her projects. So overall, I dodged a bullet I think.
Kind of makes sense in her world though. How could someone as successful as her be dumped by such a loser? She is the one who should be doing the dumping.
On December 19 2013 15:29 Djzapz wrote: This is hardly relevant to this thread because I've been dating a girl for a few months now and it's going great, but before that, early this year, shortly after being dumped, I was courting this smart young lady who I was madly infatuated with and I was trying to make her my rebound girl. She was impressive in many ways and I acted confident but frankly she was quite intimidating. She's a master's student like myself and works on a bunch of projects on the side and stuff...
Anyways so we had been flirting for weeks and I had not made any sort of "move" because I'm like that, I pretty much suck at this. Anyway, some of the flirting was literally like fully fledged dirty questions/remarks and whatnot. We had lunch a few times, no real date though. And at some point she sent a picture of herself, not a "sexy pic" but it did show a bit of skin... I texted "nice legs!" or whatever, which was perfectly within the previously set boundaries of stuff we talked about. She responds "uuuuh alright".
What the actual fuck? I still have nightmares to this day because of that 180 turn. When I got that text, I feel like I friendzoned her. It sounds stupid and it's kinda not true, she could have redeemed herself easily (for some time anyway), but it was so fucking annoying that she'd pull BS like that! And just a day or two later, she'd be back to sending me dirty comments and she was super friendly, until it died down because I kind of stopped paying attention to her shit.
A friend tried to match me with this girl, but only after it didn't work out, he told me about her insane and apparently random mood swings that make her go berserk at ANYBODY at ANY TIME for no reason whatsoever. And apparently, no one is immune to her wrath. She'll randomly snap and be disrespectful or passive aggressive with people just like that. I know her ex, we've gamed together 3-4 times, and apparently that's why he dumped her even though she was "out of his league" both physically, intellectually and in terms of his career. Apparently she, a masters student with a full life, broke down when he dumped her - and he's an unemployed 23 year old who lives with his mother.
She's still an impressive girl, but she was also a bit self-centered and manipulative and when I told her that I teach a university course, I felt like she tried to 1-up it with her accomplishments and her projects. So overall, I dodged a bullet I think.
Kind of makes sense in her world though. How could someone as successful as her be dumped by such a loser? She is the one who should be doing the dumping.
The real question should be, why was she with him of all people in the first place?
On December 19 2013 15:29 Djzapz wrote: This is hardly relevant to this thread because I've been dating a girl for a few months now and it's going great, but before that, early this year, shortly after being dumped, I was courting this smart young lady who I was madly infatuated with and I was trying to make her my rebound girl. She was impressive in many ways and I acted confident but frankly she was quite intimidating. She's a master's student like myself and works on a bunch of projects on the side and stuff...
Anyways so we had been flirting for weeks and I had not made any sort of "move" because I'm like that, I pretty much suck at this. Anyway, some of the flirting was literally like fully fledged dirty questions/remarks and whatnot. We had lunch a few times, no real date though. And at some point she sent a picture of herself, not a "sexy pic" but it did show a bit of skin... I texted "nice legs!" or whatever, which was perfectly within the previously set boundaries of stuff we talked about. She responds "uuuuh alright".
What the actual fuck? I still have nightmares to this day because of that 180 turn. When I got that text, I feel like I friendzoned her. It sounds stupid and it's kinda not true, she could have redeemed herself easily (for some time anyway), but it was so fucking annoying that she'd pull BS like that! And just a day or two later, she'd be back to sending me dirty comments and she was super friendly, until it died down because I kind of stopped paying attention to her shit.
A friend tried to match me with this girl, but only after it didn't work out, he told me about her insane and apparently random mood swings that make her go berserk at ANYBODY at ANY TIME for no reason whatsoever. And apparently, no one is immune to her wrath. She'll randomly snap and be disrespectful or passive aggressive with people just like that. I know her ex, we've gamed together 3-4 times, and apparently that's why he dumped her even though she was "out of his league" both physically, intellectually and in terms of his career. Apparently she, a masters student with a full life, broke down when he dumped her - and he's an unemployed 23 year old who lives with his mother.
She's still an impressive girl, but she was also a bit self-centered and manipulative and when I told her that I teach a university course, I felt like she tried to 1-up it with her accomplishments and her projects. So overall, I dodged a bullet I think.
Kind of makes sense in her world though. How could someone as successful as her be dumped by such a loser? She is the one who should be doing the dumping.
I don't know their story very much, but I believe that she truly did love him and it messed her up for a few months, at least that's what my buddy thinks. That didn't keep her from snapping at him.
On December 19 2013 15:29 Djzapz wrote: This is hardly relevant to this thread because I've been dating a girl for a few months now and it's going great, but before that, early this year, shortly after being dumped, I was courting this smart young lady who I was madly infatuated with and I was trying to make her my rebound girl. She was impressive in many ways and I acted confident but frankly she was quite intimidating. She's a master's student like myself and works on a bunch of projects on the side and stuff...
Anyways so we had been flirting for weeks and I had not made any sort of "move" because I'm like that, I pretty much suck at this. Anyway, some of the flirting was literally like fully fledged dirty questions/remarks and whatnot. We had lunch a few times, no real date though. And at some point she sent a picture of herself, not a "sexy pic" but it did show a bit of skin... I texted "nice legs!" or whatever, which was perfectly within the previously set boundaries of stuff we talked about. She responds "uuuuh alright".
What the actual fuck? I still have nightmares to this day because of that 180 turn. When I got that text, I feel like I friendzoned her. It sounds stupid and it's kinda not true, she could have redeemed herself easily (for some time anyway), but it was so fucking annoying that she'd pull BS like that! And just a day or two later, she'd be back to sending me dirty comments and she was super friendly, until it died down because I kind of stopped paying attention to her shit.
A friend tried to match me with this girl, but only after it didn't work out, he told me about her insane and apparently random mood swings that make her go berserk at ANYBODY at ANY TIME for no reason whatsoever. And apparently, no one is immune to her wrath. She'll randomly snap and be disrespectful or passive aggressive with people just like that. I know her ex, we've gamed together 3-4 times, and apparently that's why he dumped her even though she was "out of his league" both physically, intellectually and in terms of his career. Apparently she, a masters student with a full life, broke down when he dumped her - and he's an unemployed 23 year old who lives with his mother.
She's still an impressive girl, but she was also a bit self-centered and manipulative and when I told her that I teach a university course, I felt like she tried to 1-up it with her accomplishments and her projects. So overall, I dodged a bullet I think.
Kind of makes sense in her world though. How could someone as successful as her be dumped by such a loser? She is the one who should be doing the dumping.
The real question should be, why was she with him of all people in the first place?
He's a cool dude.
On December 19 2013 15:37 rezoacken wrote: That wasn't the point of Djzapz story.
Indeed.
^ This doesn't exactly explain it because we never dated, but it explains my feelings about the ordeal.
Edit: She once called me at 4:45AM to tell me she was hungry, knowing she lives in the city and I live in the suburbs, and I wouldn't even have had time to make it to downtown Montreal before her shift started. Basically she called me in the middle of the night to make a useless statement. "I'm hungry and fully aware that you can't feasibly do anything about it". I even asked if she wanted me to come (which would've been HORRIBLE for me). So glad there wasn't enough time for me to show up.
On December 19 2013 15:29 Djzapz wrote: This is hardly relevant to this thread because I've been dating a girl for a few months now and it's going great, but before that, early this year, shortly after being dumped, I was courting this smart young lady who I was madly infatuated with and I was trying to make her my rebound girl. She was impressive in many ways and I acted confident but frankly she was quite intimidating. She's a master's student like myself and works on a bunch of projects on the side and stuff...
Anyways so we had been flirting for weeks and I had not made any sort of "move" because I'm like that, I pretty much suck at this. Anyway, some of the flirting was literally like fully fledged dirty questions/remarks and whatnot. We had lunch a few times, no real date though. And at some point she sent a picture of herself, not a "sexy pic" but it did show a bit of skin... I texted "nice legs!" or whatever, which was perfectly within the previously set boundaries of stuff we talked about. She responds "uuuuh alright".
What the actual fuck? I still have nightmares to this day because of that 180 turn. When I got that text, I feel like I friendzoned her. It sounds stupid and it's kinda not true, she could have redeemed herself easily (for some time anyway), but it was so fucking annoying that she'd pull BS like that! And just a day or two later, she'd be back to sending me dirty comments and she was super friendly, until it died down because I kind of stopped paying attention to her shit.
A friend tried to match me with this girl, but only after it didn't work out, he told me about her insane and apparently random mood swings that make her go berserk at ANYBODY at ANY TIME for no reason whatsoever. And apparently, no one is immune to her wrath. She'll randomly snap and be disrespectful or passive aggressive with people just like that. I know her ex, we've gamed together 3-4 times, and apparently that's why he dumped her even though she was "out of his league" both physically, intellectually and in terms of his career. Apparently she, a masters student with a full life, broke down when he dumped her - and he's an unemployed 23 year old who lives with his mother.
She's still an impressive girl, but she was also a bit self-centered and manipulative and when I told her that I teach a university course, I felt like she tried to 1-up it with her accomplishments and her projects. So overall, I dodged a bullet I think.
Kind of makes sense in her world though. How could someone as successful as her be dumped by such a loser? She is the one who should be doing the dumping.
I still don't really get your point. Are you saying there should be designated dumping roles in a relationship based on social status/personal achievements?
On December 19 2013 15:29 Djzapz wrote: This is hardly relevant to this thread because I've been dating a girl for a few months now and it's going great, but before that, early this year, shortly after being dumped, I was courting this smart young lady who I was madly infatuated with and I was trying to make her my rebound girl. She was impressive in many ways and I acted confident but frankly she was quite intimidating. She's a master's student like myself and works on a bunch of projects on the side and stuff...
Anyways so we had been flirting for weeks and I had not made any sort of "move" because I'm like that, I pretty much suck at this. Anyway, some of the flirting was literally like fully fledged dirty questions/remarks and whatnot. We had lunch a few times, no real date though. And at some point she sent a picture of herself, not a "sexy pic" but it did show a bit of skin... I texted "nice legs!" or whatever, which was perfectly within the previously set boundaries of stuff we talked about. She responds "uuuuh alright".
What the actual fuck? I still have nightmares to this day because of that 180 turn. When I got that text, I feel like I friendzoned her. It sounds stupid and it's kinda not true, she could have redeemed herself easily (for some time anyway), but it was so fucking annoying that she'd pull BS like that! And just a day or two later, she'd be back to sending me dirty comments and she was super friendly, until it died down because I kind of stopped paying attention to her shit.
A friend tried to match me with this girl, but only after it didn't work out, he told me about her insane and apparently random mood swings that make her go berserk at ANYBODY at ANY TIME for no reason whatsoever. And apparently, no one is immune to her wrath. She'll randomly snap and be disrespectful or passive aggressive with people just like that. I know her ex, we've gamed together 3-4 times, and apparently that's why he dumped her even though she was "out of his league" both physically, intellectually and in terms of his career. Apparently she, a masters student with a full life, broke down when he dumped her - and he's an unemployed 23 year old who lives with his mother.
She's still an impressive girl, but she was also a bit self-centered and manipulative and when I told her that I teach a university course, I felt like she tried to 1-up it with her accomplishments and her projects. So overall, I dodged a bullet I think.
Kind of makes sense in her world though. How could someone as successful as her be dumped by such a loser? She is the one who should be doing the dumping.
I still don't really get your point. Are you saying there should be designated dumping roles in a relationship based on social status/personal achievements?
He's saying that she felt insulted on a personal level because she got dumped by someone who should realistically have been all over her because she most likely feels like she should be desirable to somebody like him. He's not saying it's a fact, he's saying that that's what goes on in her head. It's not necessarily a bad hypothesis.
On December 19 2013 15:29 Djzapz wrote: This is hardly relevant to this thread because I've been dating a girl for a few months now and it's going great, but before that, early this year, shortly after being dumped, I was courting this smart young lady who I was madly infatuated with and I was trying to make her my rebound girl. She was impressive in many ways and I acted confident but frankly she was quite intimidating. She's a master's student like myself and works on a bunch of projects on the side and stuff...
Anyways so we had been flirting for weeks and I had not made any sort of "move" because I'm like that, I pretty much suck at this. Anyway, some of the flirting was literally like fully fledged dirty questions/remarks and whatnot. We had lunch a few times, no real date though. And at some point she sent a picture of herself, not a "sexy pic" but it did show a bit of skin... I texted "nice legs!" or whatever, which was perfectly within the previously set boundaries of stuff we talked about. She responds "uuuuh alright".
What the actual fuck? I still have nightmares to this day because of that 180 turn. When I got that text, I feel like I friendzoned her. It sounds stupid and it's kinda not true, she could have redeemed herself easily (for some time anyway), but it was so fucking annoying that she'd pull BS like that! And just a day or two later, she'd be back to sending me dirty comments and she was super friendly, until it died down because I kind of stopped paying attention to her shit.
A friend tried to match me with this girl, but only after it didn't work out, he told me about her insane and apparently random mood swings that make her go berserk at ANYBODY at ANY TIME for no reason whatsoever. And apparently, no one is immune to her wrath. She'll randomly snap and be disrespectful or passive aggressive with people just like that. I know her ex, we've gamed together 3-4 times, and apparently that's why he dumped her even though she was "out of his league" both physically, intellectually and in terms of his career. Apparently she, a masters student with a full life, broke down when he dumped her - and he's an unemployed 23 year old who lives with his mother.
She's still an impressive girl, but she was also a bit self-centered and manipulative and when I told her that I teach a university course, I felt like she tried to 1-up it with her accomplishments and her projects. So overall, I dodged a bullet I think.
Kind of makes sense in her world though. How could someone as successful as her be dumped by such a loser? She is the one who should be doing the dumping.
I still don't really get your point. Are you saying there should be designated dumping roles in a relationship based on social status/personal achievements?
He's saying that she felt insulted on a personal level because she got dumped by someone who should realistically have been all over her because she most likely feels like she should be desirable to somebody like him. He's not saying it's a fact, he's saying that that's what goes on in her head. It's not necessarily a bad hypothesis.
Okay I guess I shouldn't really be picking this point with him or you. Meh, I just hate it when people feel entitled to receiving certain treatment or expect certain emotions because of superficial things. I understand where you're both coming from though.
On December 19 2013 13:59 Dogfoodboy16 wrote: My girlfriend got mad at me after reading my final essay defending date rape for my philosophy class final.I guess her friend was date raped before. Any ideas how I can make her stop acting crazy?
If you care to read my essay for yourself here it is:
Ever since the term Date Rape was coined by doctor Mary Koss in 1987, a convoluted piece of legislation of the same name has been injected into the United States of America’s court system. Over the last two and a half decades, this law has been proven ineffective and destructive for a vast majority of the female population while simultaneously keeping the justice system gridlocked with litigant’s arbitrary and contradictory allegations of abuse. Having date rape being illegal is fallacious for a multitude of reasons. It is ineffective; it conflicts with laws already put in place, utilizes the term rape incorrectly, based upon unreliable evidence, creates more victims, and hurts the victims of date rape more than the actual event. Date rape has nothing to do with rape. The Federal Bureau of Investigation classifies the term rape as a violent crime. Furthermore, rape has nothing at all to do with sex, just ask a feminist. They will gladly point out that rape is about having dominion, power, and control over someone. Date rape is defined as a sexual act that rarely involved violence. That means date rape is a sexual crime not a violent crime. It is disingenuous and irresponsible to attach the word rape to a crime that is virtually absent of violence. The term date rape is interchangeable with term sexual assault. Sexual assault is any involuntary sexual act in which a person is threatened, coerced, or forced to engage against their will, or any sexual touching of a person who has not consented. With sexual assault laws already on the books, the date rape law could be adjudicated from arbitration without issue, date rape cases could be easily converted to sexual assault charges, and the criminal litigation process would be streamlined. This simple move would make rape cases less complicated and confusing while correctly classifying date rape as a sexual crime. Having date rape illegal doesn’t prevent the prevalence of rape, but increases the amount of victims, further exacerbating the problem. Victim is the priciest sell in this world. The victim feels the most and suffers the best. Once you label someone as a victim, the more likely a person is to be victimized. When you have been victimized by someone, the arousal of that encounter etches a pattern into the brain, the brain then tries to master that arousal by attracting perpetrators that are prone to the kind of abusive behavior they fear, and the cycle of victimization continues. This phenomenon is called traumatic reenactment, where a survivor of previous abuse compulsively seeks out the same acts of abuse for the remainder of their lifetime. While date rape is awful and should be avoided at all costs, acknowledgement that you are powerless in a situation is far more painful than the actual indent. If a person never sees themself as a victim, the pattern never emerges, thus the cycle of abuse never begins. Most rape victims report that revisiting the trauma of a date rape committed against them while testifying against their alleged assailant is more damaging to their mental and emotional psyche than the actual sexual assault. When the justice system does more damage than a rapist you know something is fundamentally broken within American legal practices. In several circumstances, federal criminal court judges have actually ordered rape victims to appear at the rapists…I mean therapists office. The victim has to relive the trauma in perpetuity by talking to the psychologist about the event ad nauseum. It is much healthier to accept what happened, chalk it up to making poor life choices, and move on. Alcohol is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs for women. Alcohol is also the most common intoxicants involving date rape. Women's erotic placidity is much more different than a man’s. Studies conducted measuring genital blood flow concludes that; women do not inherently know what turns them on. In women’s biological psychology, there is a schism between how her body is responding to a stimulus and what she reports to her brain consciously. From this information we can deduct that a women’s ability to gauge how her body is responding to sexual encounters can become compromised. Adding the consumption of alcohol to the picture further complicates the issue making a date rape case next to impossible to prove within a reasonable doubt. Therefore the vast majority of date rape cases lack the validity to be tried in a court of law. Recovering for a traumatic event is completely dependent or the victim’s intrinsic motivation to endure adversity. Some people get dealt a bad hand in life and half to work that much harder than to overcome the obstacles placed in front of them. Nobody has ever gone on to live a productive and meaningful life by obsessing over one obstacle, suing the obstacle, spending years of their life and thousands of dollars putting the obstacle on trial, and throwing the obstacle in jail. Letting a specific event define your standing in the world is tantamount to wasting the greatest gift the world has bestowed upon them, life. Date Rape is a perfect excuse for becoming depressed and surrendering your worth to the court system, relying on lawyers to “come in like a wrecking ball” and fight for what’s left of their plaintiff’s dignity. Or they overcome adversity, accomplish tremendous feats, and become the hero of their own story. Stop blaming environmental factors for getting into precarious situations, take responsibility for your own actions, and learn from both good and bad experiences.
I actually think quite a bit of this essay is relatively logical and well-written
*brain explode*
I thought this had to be some sort of troll/copypasta cause that is possibly the worst piece of writing I've ever read. It has constant grammatical errors, tense confusion, POV/audience confusion, a lack of authority and support, massive logical holes, in addition to being a repugnant insensitive position. It's like the perfect storm of awful.
Glad you conveniently ignored the part where I said "until the end" when it was clear there was a massive disconnect between what he wrote earlier and there, the conclusion destroyed any credibility it had before. Also, it was most likely copy and pasted from a word doc so the indents wouldn't make sense, I also didn't look for every damn grammatical error and tense misuse or whatever because frankly it had nothing to do with the actual content of the paper. It also appears that "repugnant insensitive position" was the goal of the paper which makes everything I wrote irrelevant anyways because he doesn't actually hold this position. I only included the first paragraph under the assumption he actually held that position, and I tried to be nice about it because I didn't know.
That would drive me nuts if she couldn't handle the fact that you wrote a school paper that had to be on this or something probably equally offensive and she was still pissed after you explained that
It's still badly written in quite a few spots, but generally I agree. When I started reading, I thought it was quite a fair position, although it makes a large number of logical errors. For instance, nobody should ask feminists what rape is about: feminists aren't experts on what makes rapists rape. You should ask criminologists and psychologists specialized in dealing with both the victims and the perpetrators about the characteristics of rape (and yes, it is usually about power, not sex... but I am not sure date rape is any different in that respect: it doesn't have to be violent to be about power and control).
However, I can also see the gf's point of view: out of all the topics he could pick, he picked daterape (not an attack on evolution through natural selection, a defense of communism, or anything else controversial). She is not appalled that he (mandatory) took a stance against a controversial topic, but about the way he did it. Apologize and say that none of that is your actual point of view (and hope she believes you) is a first start at fixing that mess.
On December 19 2013 15:29 Djzapz wrote: This is hardly relevant to this thread because I've been dating a girl for a few months now and it's going great, but before that, early this year, shortly after being dumped, I was courting this smart young lady who I was madly infatuated with and I was trying to make her my rebound girl. She was impressive in many ways and I acted confident but frankly she was quite intimidating. She's a master's student like myself and works on a bunch of projects on the side and stuff...
Anyways so we had been flirting for weeks and I had not made any sort of "move" because I'm like that, I pretty much suck at this. Anyway, some of the flirting was literally like fully fledged dirty questions/remarks and whatnot. We had lunch a few times, no real date though. And at some point she sent a picture of herself, not a "sexy pic" but it did show a bit of skin... I texted "nice legs!" or whatever, which was perfectly within the previously set boundaries of stuff we talked about. She responds "uuuuh alright".
What the actual fuck? I still have nightmares to this day because of that 180 turn. When I got that text, I feel like I friendzoned her. It sounds stupid and it's kinda not true, she could have redeemed herself easily (for some time anyway), but it was so fucking annoying that she'd pull BS like that! And just a day or two later, she'd be back to sending me dirty comments and she was super friendly, until it died down because I kind of stopped paying attention to her shit.
A friend tried to match me with this girl, but only after it didn't work out, he told me about her insane and apparently random mood swings that make her go berserk at ANYBODY at ANY TIME for no reason whatsoever. And apparently, no one is immune to her wrath. She'll randomly snap and be disrespectful or passive aggressive with people just like that. I know her ex, we've gamed together 3-4 times, and apparently that's why he dumped her even though she was "out of his league" both physically, intellectually and in terms of his career. Apparently she, a masters student with a full life, broke down when he dumped her - and he's an unemployed 23 year old who lives with his mother.
She's still an impressive girl, but she was also a bit self-centered and manipulative and when I told her that I teach a university course, I felt like she tried to 1-up it with her accomplishments and her projects. So overall, I dodged a bullet I think.
I dated someone exactly like you describe and I confirm you dodged a bullet !
When I was studying in the university I was a part of "gang" (3 guys and 2 girls). We had a lot of epic adventures together during 2 years of master-programme. Jack and Anna (names are changed) dated for about half a year and then broke up peacefully. Now Jack is happily married. Me and Anna are the only ones who are still friends, we are very comfortable near each other. The last month (yes, I am THAT blind) I've noticed that Anna is hitting on me... hitting hard.
On the one hand, I prefer to follow the rule "no sex with your bro's ex". On the other - my life right now can be described by this joke: + Show Spoiler +
Me: For Cristmas I want a Lamborghini! Santa: Be realistic! Me: OK, I want a girlfriend... Santa: What color do you want your Lamborghini?
On December 20 2013 01:35 IAmWithStupid wrote: Need a moral guidance here.
When I was studying in the university I was a part of "gang" (3 guys and 2 girls). We had a lot of epic adventures together during 2 years of master-programme. Jack and Anna (names are changed) dated for about half a year and then broke up peacefully. Now Jack is happily married. Me and Anna are the only ones who are still friends, we are very comfortable near each other. The last month (yes, I am THAT blind) I've noticed that Anna is hitting on me... hitting hard.
On the one hand, I prefer to follow the rule "no sex with your bro's ex". On the other - my life right now can be described by this joke: + Show Spoiler +
Me: For Cristmas I want a Lamborghini! Santa: Be realistic! Me: OK, I want a girlfriend... Santa: What color do you want your Lamborghini?
Any suggestions?
There's no tighter bond than that of Eskimo Brothers.
On December 20 2013 01:35 IAmWithStupid wrote: Need a moral guidance here.
When I was studying in the university I was a part of "gang" (3 guys and 2 girls). We had a lot of epic adventures together during 2 years of master-programme. Jack and Anna (names are changed) dated for about half a year and then broke up peacefully. Now Jack is happily married. Me and Anna are the only ones who are still friends, we are very comfortable near each other. The last month (yes, I am THAT blind) I've noticed that Anna is hitting on me... hitting hard.
On the one hand, I prefer to follow the rule "no sex with your bro's ex". On the other - my life right now can be described by this joke: + Show Spoiler +
Me: For Cristmas I want a Lamborghini! Santa: Be realistic! Me: OK, I want a girlfriend... Santa: What color do you want your Lamborghini?
Any suggestions?
From the text it seems you aren't really friends anymore and it's been a long time, so I don't see a problem with it. He's married so there is even less of a problem with it. If you are REALLY worried about it just ask him.
On December 19 2013 13:59 Dogfoodboy16 wrote: My girlfriend got mad at me after reading my final essay defending date rape for my philosophy class final.I guess her friend was date raped before. Any ideas how I can make her stop acting crazy?
If you care to read my essay for yourself here it is:
Ever since the term Date Rape was coined by doctor Mary Koss in 1987, a convoluted piece of legislation of the same name has been injected into the United States of America’s court system. Over the last two and a half decades, this law has been proven ineffective and destructive for a vast majority of the female population while simultaneously keeping the justice system gridlocked with litigant’s arbitrary and contradictory allegations of abuse. Having date rape being illegal is fallacious for a multitude of reasons. It is ineffective; it conflicts with laws already put in place, utilizes the term rape incorrectly, based upon unreliable evidence, creates more victims, and hurts the victims of date rape more than the actual event. Date rape has nothing to do with rape. The Federal Bureau of Investigation classifies the term rape as a violent crime. Furthermore, rape has nothing at all to do with sex, just ask a feminist. They will gladly point out that rape is about having dominion, power, and control over someone. Date rape is defined as a sexual act that rarely involved violence. That means date rape is a sexual crime not a violent crime. It is disingenuous and irresponsible to attach the word rape to a crime that is virtually absent of violence. The term date rape is interchangeable with term sexual assault. Sexual assault is any involuntary sexual act in which a person is threatened, coerced, or forced to engage against their will, or any sexual touching of a person who has not consented. With sexual assault laws already on the books, the date rape law could be adjudicated from arbitration without issue, date rape cases could be easily converted to sexual assault charges, and the criminal litigation process would be streamlined. This simple move would make rape cases less complicated and confusing while correctly classifying date rape as a sexual crime. Having date rape illegal doesn’t prevent the prevalence of rape, but increases the amount of victims, further exacerbating the problem. Victim is the priciest sell in this world. The victim feels the most and suffers the best. Once you label someone as a victim, the more likely a person is to be victimized. When you have been victimized by someone, the arousal of that encounter etches a pattern into the brain, the brain then tries to master that arousal by attracting perpetrators that are prone to the kind of abusive behavior they fear, and the cycle of victimization continues. This phenomenon is called traumatic reenactment, where a survivor of previous abuse compulsively seeks out the same acts of abuse for the remainder of their lifetime. While date rape is awful and should be avoided at all costs, acknowledgement that you are powerless in a situation is far more painful than the actual indent. If a person never sees themself as a victim, the pattern never emerges, thus the cycle of abuse never begins. Most rape victims report that revisiting the trauma of a date rape committed against them while testifying against their alleged assailant is more damaging to their mental and emotional psyche than the actual sexual assault. When the justice system does more damage than a rapist you know something is fundamentally broken within American legal practices. In several circumstances, federal criminal court judges have actually ordered rape victims to appear at the rapists…I mean therapists office. The victim has to relive the trauma in perpetuity by talking to the psychologist about the event ad nauseum. It is much healthier to accept what happened, chalk it up to making poor life choices, and move on. Alcohol is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs for women. Alcohol is also the most common intoxicants involving date rape. Women's erotic placidity is much more different than a man’s. Studies conducted measuring genital blood flow concludes that; women do not inherently know what turns them on. In women’s biological psychology, there is a schism between how her body is responding to a stimulus and what she reports to her brain consciously. From this information we can deduct that a women’s ability to gauge how her body is responding to sexual encounters can become compromised. Adding the consumption of alcohol to the picture further complicates the issue making a date rape case next to impossible to prove within a reasonable doubt. Therefore the vast majority of date rape cases lack the validity to be tried in a court of law. Recovering for a traumatic event is completely dependent or the victim’s intrinsic motivation to endure adversity. Some people get dealt a bad hand in life and half to work that much harder than to overcome the obstacles placed in front of them. Nobody has ever gone on to live a productive and meaningful life by obsessing over one obstacle, suing the obstacle, spending years of their life and thousands of dollars putting the obstacle on trial, and throwing the obstacle in jail. Letting a specific event define your standing in the world is tantamount to wasting the greatest gift the world has bestowed upon them, life. Date Rape is a perfect excuse for becoming depressed and surrendering your worth to the court system, relying on lawyers to “come in like a wrecking ball” and fight for what’s left of their plaintiff’s dignity. Or they overcome adversity, accomplish tremendous feats, and become the hero of their own story. Stop blaming environmental factors for getting into precarious situations, take responsibility for your own actions, and learn from both good and bad experiences.
im not sure whether to be more disturbed by the fact that you thought this was a good idea, or that there are multiple people who find themselves agreeing with any bit of this turd
I am visiting my friend in oakland and I met this hot girl who was totally into me at a party my friend and his gf were hosting. We ended up talking for a while and then when she left she said 'i hope you come back soon!' the only problem is that I don't live here, I live 6.5 hrs away. Gahhhh
On December 20 2013 01:35 IAmWithStupid wrote: Need a moral guidance here.
When I was studying in the university I was a part of "gang" (3 guys and 2 girls). We had a lot of epic adventures together during 2 years of master-programme. Jack and Anna (names are changed) dated for about half a year and then broke up peacefully. Now Jack is happily married. Me and Anna are the only ones who are still friends, we are very comfortable near each other. The last month (yes, I am THAT blind) I've noticed that Anna is hitting on me... hitting hard.
On the one hand, I prefer to follow the rule "no sex with your bro's ex". On the other - my life right now can be described by this joke: + Show Spoiler +
Me: For Cristmas I want a Lamborghini! Santa: Be realistic! Me: OK, I want a girlfriend... Santa: What color do you want your Lamborghini?
Any suggestions?
Perfectly fine by my book. I would have no problem having my bro sleeping with my ex. Unless maybe if I was into her and angry about the break up but that doesn't seem to be the case.
Go on.
On December 20 2013 03:25 sam!zdat wrote: I am visiting my friend in oakland and I met this hot girl who was totally into me at a party my friend and his gf were hosting. We ended up talking for a while and then when she left she said 'i hope you come back soon!' the only problem is that I don't live here, I live 6.5 hrs away. Gahhhh
"I can't come back soon, so let's just make love right here right now"
On December 19 2013 13:59 Dogfoodboy16 wrote: My girlfriend got mad at me after reading my final essay defending date rape for my philosophy class final.I guess her friend was date raped before. Any ideas how I can make her stop acting crazy?
If you care to read my essay for yourself here it is:
Ever since the term Date Rape was coined by doctor Mary Koss in 1987, a convoluted piece of legislation of the same name has been injected into the United States of America’s court system. Over the last two and a half decades, this law has been proven ineffective and destructive for a vast majority of the female population while simultaneously keeping the justice system gridlocked with litigant’s arbitrary and contradictory allegations of abuse. Having date rape being illegal is fallacious for a multitude of reasons. It is ineffective; it conflicts with laws already put in place, utilizes the term rape incorrectly, based upon unreliable evidence, creates more victims, and hurts the victims of date rape more than the actual event. Date rape has nothing to do with rape. The Federal Bureau of Investigation classifies the term rape as a violent crime. Furthermore, rape has nothing at all to do with sex, just ask a feminist. They will gladly point out that rape is about having dominion, power, and control over someone. Date rape is defined as a sexual act that rarely involved violence. That means date rape is a sexual crime not a violent crime. It is disingenuous and irresponsible to attach the word rape to a crime that is virtually absent of violence. The term date rape is interchangeable with term sexual assault. Sexual assault is any involuntary sexual act in which a person is threatened, coerced, or forced to engage against their will, or any sexual touching of a person who has not consented. With sexual assault laws already on the books, the date rape law could be adjudicated from arbitration without issue, date rape cases could be easily converted to sexual assault charges, and the criminal litigation process would be streamlined. This simple move would make rape cases less complicated and confusing while correctly classifying date rape as a sexual crime. Having date rape illegal doesn’t prevent the prevalence of rape, but increases the amount of victims, further exacerbating the problem. Victim is the priciest sell in this world. The victim feels the most and suffers the best. Once you label someone as a victim, the more likely a person is to be victimized. When you have been victimized by someone, the arousal of that encounter etches a pattern into the brain, the brain then tries to master that arousal by attracting perpetrators that are prone to the kind of abusive behavior they fear, and the cycle of victimization continues. This phenomenon is called traumatic reenactment, where a survivor of previous abuse compulsively seeks out the same acts of abuse for the remainder of their lifetime. While date rape is awful and should be avoided at all costs, acknowledgement that you are powerless in a situation is far more painful than the actual indent. If a person never sees themself as a victim, the pattern never emerges, thus the cycle of abuse never begins. Most rape victims report that revisiting the trauma of a date rape committed against them while testifying against their alleged assailant is more damaging to their mental and emotional psyche than the actual sexual assault. When the justice system does more damage than a rapist you know something is fundamentally broken within American legal practices. In several circumstances, federal criminal court judges have actually ordered rape victims to appear at the rapists…I mean therapists office. The victim has to relive the trauma in perpetuity by talking to the psychologist about the event ad nauseum. It is much healthier to accept what happened, chalk it up to making poor life choices, and move on. Alcohol is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs for women. Alcohol is also the most common intoxicants involving date rape. Women's erotic placidity is much more different than a man’s. Studies conducted measuring genital blood flow concludes that; women do not inherently know what turns them on. In women’s biological psychology, there is a schism between how her body is responding to a stimulus and what she reports to her brain consciously. From this information we can deduct that a women’s ability to gauge how her body is responding to sexual encounters can become compromised. Adding the consumption of alcohol to the picture further complicates the issue making a date rape case next to impossible to prove within a reasonable doubt. Therefore the vast majority of date rape cases lack the validity to be tried in a court of law. Recovering for a traumatic event is completely dependent or the victim’s intrinsic motivation to endure adversity. Some people get dealt a bad hand in life and half to work that much harder than to overcome the obstacles placed in front of them. Nobody has ever gone on to live a productive and meaningful life by obsessing over one obstacle, suing the obstacle, spending years of their life and thousands of dollars putting the obstacle on trial, and throwing the obstacle in jail. Letting a specific event define your standing in the world is tantamount to wasting the greatest gift the world has bestowed upon them, life. Date Rape is a perfect excuse for becoming depressed and surrendering your worth to the court system, relying on lawyers to “come in like a wrecking ball” and fight for what’s left of their plaintiff’s dignity. Or they overcome adversity, accomplish tremendous feats, and become the hero of their own story. Stop blaming environmental factors for getting into precarious situations, take responsibility for your own actions, and learn from both good and bad experiences.
I actually think quite a bit of this essay is relatively logical and well-written
*brain explode*
I thought this had to be some sort of troll/copypasta cause that is possibly the worst piece of writing I've ever read. It has constant grammatical errors, tense confusion, POV/audience confusion, a lack of authority and support, massive logical holes, in addition to being a repugnant insensitive position. It's like the perfect storm of awful.
Don't be such a fucking whiteknight. Girls misuse and stigmatize the term rape when in almost all cases it's mutual and post sex they sober up and realize they didn't want to have sex with that dude. Women are repulsive creatures with no morals whatsoever which are only controlled by their current emotions.
On December 19 2013 13:59 Dogfoodboy16 wrote: My girlfriend got mad at me after reading my final essay defending date rape for my philosophy class final.I guess her friend was date raped before. Any ideas how I can make her stop acting crazy?
If you care to read my essay for yourself here it is:
Ever since the term Date Rape was coined by doctor Mary Koss in 1987, a convoluted piece of legislation of the same name has been injected into the United States of America’s court system. Over the last two and a half decades, this law has been proven ineffective and destructive for a vast majority of the female population while simultaneously keeping the justice system gridlocked with litigant’s arbitrary and contradictory allegations of abuse. Having date rape being illegal is fallacious for a multitude of reasons. It is ineffective; it conflicts with laws already put in place, utilizes the term rape incorrectly, based upon unreliable evidence, creates more victims, and hurts the victims of date rape more than the actual event. Date rape has nothing to do with rape. The Federal Bureau of Investigation classifies the term rape as a violent crime. Furthermore, rape has nothing at all to do with sex, just ask a feminist. They will gladly point out that rape is about having dominion, power, and control over someone. Date rape is defined as a sexual act that rarely involved violence. That means date rape is a sexual crime not a violent crime. It is disingenuous and irresponsible to attach the word rape to a crime that is virtually absent of violence. The term date rape is interchangeable with term sexual assault. Sexual assault is any involuntary sexual act in which a person is threatened, coerced, or forced to engage against their will, or any sexual touching of a person who has not consented. With sexual assault laws already on the books, the date rape law could be adjudicated from arbitration without issue, date rape cases could be easily converted to sexual assault charges, and the criminal litigation process would be streamlined. This simple move would make rape cases less complicated and confusing while correctly classifying date rape as a sexual crime. Having date rape illegal doesn’t prevent the prevalence of rape, but increases the amount of victims, further exacerbating the problem. Victim is the priciest sell in this world. The victim feels the most and suffers the best. Once you label someone as a victim, the more likely a person is to be victimized. When you have been victimized by someone, the arousal of that encounter etches a pattern into the brain, the brain then tries to master that arousal by attracting perpetrators that are prone to the kind of abusive behavior they fear, and the cycle of victimization continues. This phenomenon is called traumatic reenactment, where a survivor of previous abuse compulsively seeks out the same acts of abuse for the remainder of their lifetime. While date rape is awful and should be avoided at all costs, acknowledgement that you are powerless in a situation is far more painful than the actual indent. If a person never sees themself as a victim, the pattern never emerges, thus the cycle of abuse never begins. Most rape victims report that revisiting the trauma of a date rape committed against them while testifying against their alleged assailant is more damaging to their mental and emotional psyche than the actual sexual assault. When the justice system does more damage than a rapist you know something is fundamentally broken within American legal practices. In several circumstances, federal criminal court judges have actually ordered rape victims to appear at the rapists…I mean therapists office. The victim has to relive the trauma in perpetuity by talking to the psychologist about the event ad nauseum. It is much healthier to accept what happened, chalk it up to making poor life choices, and move on. Alcohol is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs for women. Alcohol is also the most common intoxicants involving date rape. Women's erotic placidity is much more different than a man’s. Studies conducted measuring genital blood flow concludes that; women do not inherently know what turns them on. In women’s biological psychology, there is a schism between how her body is responding to a stimulus and what she reports to her brain consciously. From this information we can deduct that a women’s ability to gauge how her body is responding to sexual encounters can become compromised. Adding the consumption of alcohol to the picture further complicates the issue making a date rape case next to impossible to prove within a reasonable doubt. Therefore the vast majority of date rape cases lack the validity to be tried in a court of law. Recovering for a traumatic event is completely dependent or the victim’s intrinsic motivation to endure adversity. Some people get dealt a bad hand in life and half to work that much harder than to overcome the obstacles placed in front of them. Nobody has ever gone on to live a productive and meaningful life by obsessing over one obstacle, suing the obstacle, spending years of their life and thousands of dollars putting the obstacle on trial, and throwing the obstacle in jail. Letting a specific event define your standing in the world is tantamount to wasting the greatest gift the world has bestowed upon them, life. Date Rape is a perfect excuse for becoming depressed and surrendering your worth to the court system, relying on lawyers to “come in like a wrecking ball” and fight for what’s left of their plaintiff’s dignity. Or they overcome adversity, accomplish tremendous feats, and become the hero of their own story. Stop blaming environmental factors for getting into precarious situations, take responsibility for your own actions, and learn from both good and bad experiences.
I actually think quite a bit of this essay is relatively logical and well-written
*brain explode*
I thought this had to be some sort of troll/copypasta cause that is possibly the worst piece of writing I've ever read. It has constant grammatical errors, tense confusion, POV/audience confusion, a lack of authority and support, massive logical holes, in addition to being a repugnant insensitive position. It's like the perfect storm of awful.
Don't be such a fucking whiteknight. Girls misuse and stigmatize the term rape when in almost all cases it's mutual and post sex they sober up and realize they didn't want to have sex with that dude. Women are repulsive creatures with no morals whatsoever which are only controlled by their current emotions.
Prepare to get white knighted with that horrible and false generalization of women. Some girl must've harmed you.
EPT
