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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On December 03 2013 05:29 QuanticHawk wrote:
I'm always confused as to why people would wanna date someone that is willing to cheat in their current relationship to be with you. For a quick lay, sure. But commit to someone who just cheated? uhhh haha
Imagine:
"This" guy seduces the girl, she cheats with him on her BF and in the end even leaves the BF for "the" guy.
Once that happens, "the" guy dumps her for being a cheating bitch and no material for a relationship.
That crap has happened.
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On December 03 2013 05:29 farvacola wrote:
Are you at all uncomfortable with being "that" guy? If not, go for it. If so, probably not.
I am normally uncomfortable, like I say... but this girl is like seriously incredible.
On December 03 2013 05:29 QuanticHawk wrote:
I'm always confused as to why people would wanna date someone that is willing to cheat in their current relationship to be with you. For a quick lay, sure. But commit to someone who just cheated? uhhh haha
Who is talking about cheating? I am talking about being a guy that causes a breakup (which I seriously do dislike).
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I'm saying why would you want to date someone who either cheats on her partner to be with you, or only dated her partner while she looked for another bar to swing to?
Personally, if I was looking for something other than a quick lay, I'd just wait until it ended on its own accord. She wouldn't be trustworthy under those circumstances
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On December 03 2013 05:29 QuanticHawk wrote:
I'm always confused as to why people would wanna date someone that is willing to cheat in their current relationship to be with you. For a quick lay, sure. But commit to someone who just cheated? uhhh haha
This. She's going to do the exact same thing to you.
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Good.
On December 03 2013 05:45 chadissilent wrote:Show nested quote +On December 03 2013 05:29 QuanticHawk wrote:
I'm always confused as to why people would wanna date someone that is willing to cheat in their current relationship to be with you. For a quick lay, sure. But commit to someone who just cheated? uhhh haha This. She's going to do the exact same thing to you.
And I agree with this. I'd sooner fuck a man than be committed to a girl like that.
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On December 03 2013 05:29 QuanticHawk wrote:
I'm always confused as to why people would wanna date someone that is willing to cheat in their current relationship to be with you. For a quick lay, sure. But commit to someone who just cheated? uhhh haha
When I find out someone is a relationship with someone, the connection I would have to a woman changes to friendship, and there is no intention in me that wants to try and hit her. This kind of makes me the nice guy, as I simply refuse to date someone else's girlfriend. Is it respect for my brother, or simply a reflection of my own insecurities regarding cheating?
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On December 03 2013 05:48 SCC-Faust wrote:Good. Show nested quote +On December 03 2013 05:45 chadissilent wrote:On December 03 2013 05:29 QuanticHawk wrote:
I'm always confused as to why people would wanna date someone that is willing to cheat in their current relationship to be with you. For a quick lay, sure. But commit to someone who just cheated? uhhh haha This. She's going to do the exact same thing to you. And I agree with this. I'd sooner fuck a man than be committed to a girl like that.
That's a bit of a reach, but ok
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On December 03 2013 05:38 QuanticHawk wrote:
I'm saying why would you want to date someone who either cheats on her partner to be with you, or only dated her partner while she looked for another bar to swing to?
Personally, if I was looking for something other than a quick lay, I'd just wait until it ended on its own accord. She wouldn't be trustworthy under those circumstances
Who is saying she is looking? And waiting isn't an option because she is a classmate and we have 1 week of class left.
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On December 03 2013 05:26 TheRabidDeer wrote:
Question: If a girl has a boyfriend (that you dont know and have never met), is she off limits to you or would you still try?
Normally I would think she is off limits, but damnit I want to steal this girl away from that guy somehow.
I had the same problem . You should probably just have your presence felt by her without meddling in her relationship , be friendly and flirt from time to time so she doesn't forget you exist , and just hope that eventually they'll break up. That's pretty much what i did and after about 2 years she broke up with her boyfriend. Now i am trying my luck with her . You should live your life and go out with other girls you find attractive , maybe you can fall for an other girl while waiting , didn't happen in my case , and it would be somewhat stupid now if I can't win her over , but oh well  .
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As long as you don't make her cheat or actively try to talk bullshit on her bf to make her break, I don't think there is a right or wrong here.
There's so many things involved that making a broad uninformed generalization is pretty foolish. Just do something that feels right for you in the end. If it makes you feel like a dick or have remorse, probably don't.
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On December 03 2013 05:52 TheRabidDeer wrote:Show nested quote +On December 03 2013 05:38 QuanticHawk wrote:
I'm saying why would you want to date someone who either cheats on her partner to be with you, or only dated her partner while she looked for another bar to swing to?
Personally, if I was looking for something other than a quick lay, I'd just wait until it ended on its own accord. She wouldn't be trustworthy under those circumstances Who is saying she is looking? And waiting isn't an option because she is a classmate and we have 1 week of class left.
I didn't. I'm just saying that anyone who jumps ship for you is going to still keep their options open when they start dating you.
You can just add them on fb and creep on them when they're single like everyone else does. If you're still young enough that you're in hs or college, it will most likely end soon enough anyway
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On December 03 2013 03:10 Liquid`Drone wrote:
he's not actually saying that she's abusive, but that her personality indicates that she has been abused. Somehow, this makes it more okay (rather than less??) to "avoid her like the plague" or whatever.
If you've been abused in the past that's a giant red flag that you will be 'troublesome'.
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On December 03 2013 05:57 raga4ka wrote:Show nested quote +On December 03 2013 05:26 TheRabidDeer wrote:
Question: If a girl has a boyfriend (that you dont know and have never met), is she off limits to you or would you still try?
Normally I would think she is off limits, but damnit I want to steal this girl away from that guy somehow. I had the same problem . You should probably just have your presence felt by her without meddling in her relationship , be friendly and flirt from time to time so she doesn't forget you exist , and just hope that eventually they'll break up. That's pretty much what i did and after about 2 years she broke up with her boyfriend. Now i am trying my luck with her . You should live your life and go out with other girls you find attractive , maybe you can fall for an other girl while waiting , didn't happen in my case , and it would be somewhat stupid now if can't win her over , but oh well .
Lol dude are you me?
Maybe we're after the same girl... hmmm *-*
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On December 03 2013 06:23 TOCHMY wrote:Show nested quote +On December 03 2013 05:57 raga4ka wrote:On December 03 2013 05:26 TheRabidDeer wrote:
Question: If a girl has a boyfriend (that you dont know and have never met), is she off limits to you or would you still try?
Normally I would think she is off limits, but damnit I want to steal this girl away from that guy somehow. I had the same problem . You should probably just have your presence felt by her without meddling in her relationship , be friendly and flirt from time to time so she doesn't forget you exist , and just hope that eventually they'll break up. That's pretty much what i did and after about 2 years she broke up with her boyfriend. Now i am trying my luck with her . You should live your life and go out with other girls you find attractive , maybe you can fall for an other girl while waiting , didn't happen in my case , and it would be somewhat stupid now if can't win her over , but oh well . Lol dude are you me? Maybe we're after the same girl... hmmm *-*
I think most of us are the same guy in that situation here
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On December 03 2013 05:52 TheRabidDeer wrote:Show nested quote +On December 03 2013 05:38 QuanticHawk wrote:
I'm saying why would you want to date someone who either cheats on her partner to be with you, or only dated her partner while she looked for another bar to swing to?
Personally, if I was looking for something other than a quick lay, I'd just wait until it ended on its own accord. She wouldn't be trustworthy under those circumstances Who is saying she is looking? And waiting isn't an option because she is a classmate and we have 1 week of class left.
Don't listen to his advice, but please keep us updated as this story unfolds. It sounds like Hawk has been through this before and I am just finishing going through it (ended with her putting a golf club through the rear windshield of my Audi and me pressing charges + filing for a restraining order).
Those kinds of girls can put you through emotional hell, because guess what? While you guys are together she's going to keep her eyes/ears open and will entertain others as they come along, much like she did to you. It doesn't seem like it right now, because you think you're special and worth keeping and you can change her, but to her you're just another branch that Curious Georgina is swinging to.
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Some of you guys put a really negative spin on somebody that leaves a relationship for somebody else. Wow. Is it not possible that she isn't entirely happy with who she is with? Just because you are dating somebody doesn't mean you are married for life. If she ends up leaving me because she isn't happy with me, good for her. You shouldn't waste time with somebody that you aren't happy with. If she doesn't even go out with me, good for her she is happy with who she is with. Shouldn't we all be trying to find that person that lights our fire and makes us feel warm inside?
All I want to do is put my cards on the table because the chips are running out and I probably won't see her again after this semester.
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On December 03 2013 07:54 TheRabidDeer wrote:
Some of you guys put a really negative spin on somebody that leaves a relationship for somebody else. Wow. Is it not possible that she isn't entirely happy with who she is with? Just because you are dating somebody doesn't mean you are married for life. If she ends up leaving me because she isn't happy with me, good for her. You shouldn't waste time with somebody that you aren't happy with. If she doesn't even go out with me, good for her she is happy with who she is with. Shouldn't we all be trying to find that person that lights our fire and makes us feel warm inside?
All I want to do is put my cards on the table because the chips are running out and I probably won't see her again after this semester.
People will be judgmental because people gonna judge, but yeah if she's worth it to you, do it (I would say it definitely won't work if she's content, but if you get the sense she's actually not there's a chance). Or you can try to be friends with her to keep her in your life and see what happens down the road, which is probably the most realistic course.
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On December 03 2013 08:10 ZapRoffo wrote:Show nested quote +On December 03 2013 07:54 TheRabidDeer wrote:
Some of you guys put a really negative spin on somebody that leaves a relationship for somebody else. Wow. Is it not possible that she isn't entirely happy with who she is with? Just because you are dating somebody doesn't mean you are married for life. If she ends up leaving me because she isn't happy with me, good for her. You shouldn't waste time with somebody that you aren't happy with. If she doesn't even go out with me, good for her she is happy with who she is with. Shouldn't we all be trying to find that person that lights our fire and makes us feel warm inside?
All I want to do is put my cards on the table because the chips are running out and I probably won't see her again after this semester. People will be judgmental because people gonna judge, but yeah if she's worth it to you, do it (I would say it definitely won't work if she's content, but if you get the sense she's actually not there's a chance). Or you can try to be friends with her to keep her in your life and see what happens down the road, which is probably the most realistic course.
Yea, I like the idea of being friends so that I don't have to be the bad guy.
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On December 03 2013 07:54 TheRabidDeer wrote:
Some of you guys put a really negative spin on somebody that leaves a relationship for somebody else.
That's because monogamy kinda entails not cheating on your so/scoping out other options. Hence why we said, if you are interested in a relationship, it is probably best not to try and bust them up, but rather be friendly and see what happens down the road.
Leaving someone because you are not happy isn't bad. In fact, it's what mature people due when their relationship goes to shit. Being unhappy, but fucking other people/sticking around until you finding someone else worth fucking is not good and kinda the total opposite of what you do in a monogamous relationship. I'm not sure why you're confused about this?
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On December 03 2013 08:46 QuanticHawk wrote:Show nested quote +On December 03 2013 07:54 TheRabidDeer wrote:
Some of you guys put a really negative spin on somebody that leaves a relationship for somebody else. That's because monogamy kinda entails not cheating on your so/scoping out other options. Hence why we said, if you are interested in a relationship, it is probably best not to try and bust them up, but rather be friendly and see what happens down the road. Leaving someone because you are not happy isn't bad. In fact, it's what mature people due when their relationship goes to shit. Being unhappy, but fucking other people/sticking around until you finding someone else worth fucking is not good and kinda the total opposite of what you do in a monogamous relationship. I'm not sure why you're confused about this?
That was well put
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EPT
