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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On November 29 2013 15:45 corumjhaelen wrote:
Am i supposed to take a gay activist that uses a naturalist argument seriously though ?
I kinda agree with what he says overall, but I think he could say it in a much more intelligent way, but alas not as controversial too...
what's the best monogamist argument you have though?
also you seem to be implying homosexuality is unnatural, i.e. doesn't occur naturally? not sure i understand you
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Concerning the the idea of polyamory, one problem a lot of young polyamorists I have met is that they remember "poly" but forget "amory."
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On November 30 2013 07:36 IgnE wrote:Show nested quote +On November 29 2013 15:45 corumjhaelen wrote:
Am i supposed to take a gay activist that uses a naturalist argument seriously though ?
I kinda agree with what he says overall, but I think he could say it in a much more intelligent way, but alas not as controversial too... what's the best monogamist argument you have though? also you seem to be implying homosexuality is unnatural, i.e. doesn't occur naturally? not sure i understand you
I think he means it's been employed fallaciously against homosexuals forever, so then turning around and spouting it about something else is kinda iffy.
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i know what he means i just don't think the complete falsehood of the one has any bearing on the other
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Well tomorrow for the first time I'm meeting someone from online where it feels like there's actually potential (we clicked fairly immediately in online conversation) rather than knowing that it's just gonna end up practice, or random socializing, so I'm rather nervous like it's all new. Even though I keep telling myself to not treat it different because I know I show a fairly good self when I'm behaving naturally nowadays.
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On December 01 2013 11:52 ZapRoffo wrote:
Well tomorrow for the first time I'm meeting someone from online where it feels like there's actually potential (we clicked fairly immediately in online conversation) rather than knowing that it's just gonna end up practice, or random socializing, so I'm rather nervous like it's all new. Even though I keep telling myself to not treat it different because I know I show a fairly good self when I'm behaving naturally nowadays.
best of luck man
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On December 01 2013 11:52 ZapRoffo wrote:
Well tomorrow for the first time I'm meeting someone from online where it feels like there's actually potential (we clicked fairly immediately in online conversation) rather than knowing that it's just gonna end up practice, or random socializing, so I'm rather nervous like it's all new. Even though I keep telling myself to not treat it different because I know I show a fairly good self when I'm behaving naturally nowadays.
Good luck! You definitely want to try behaving naturally, and not trying too too hard to impress (it'll look fake) or otherwise acting differently than normal. You want this person to like you for who you are... if they do, then that makes life easier; if not, then it's their loss 
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On December 01 2013 11:52 ZapRoffo wrote:
Well tomorrow for the first time I'm meeting someone from online where it feels like there's actually potential (we clicked fairly immediately in online conversation) rather than knowing that it's just gonna end up practice, or random socializing, so I'm rather nervous like it's all new. Even though I keep telling myself to not treat it different because I know I show a fairly good self when I'm behaving naturally nowadays.
If she agreed for the date, she's already more or less into you so just relax, be natural and have a fun time, you don't have to prove yourself at this point.
Don't hesitate having some physical contact or play physical games, it will break the ice for transforming a friendly meeting into a romantic date.
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On November 28 2013 11:30 LongShot27 wrote:Show nested quote +On November 28 2013 11:22 GibberMD wrote:
Well, its a little more than just that.
I studied for 3 years at uni while in that relationship, and only worked a part time job. She was working fulltime for along time and payed for probably more than half of my tuition as i didn't want to HEX (basically student loan in Australia) it. Not to mention all the other costs that she incurred while I was studying
That's pretty much why i never took legal action because to be honest, I wouldn't have gotten a lot anyhow. Wait wait wait, a girl stayed with you for 9 years, payed for part of your college, and you weren't in love with her anymore? The fuck happened?
Paying for college tuition = eternal love?
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On December 01 2013 19:07 Shauni wrote:Show nested quote +On November 28 2013 11:30 LongShot27 wrote:On November 28 2013 11:22 GibberMD wrote:
Well, its a little more than just that.
I studied for 3 years at uni while in that relationship, and only worked a part time job. She was working fulltime for along time and payed for probably more than half of my tuition as i didn't want to HEX (basically student loan in Australia) it. Not to mention all the other costs that she incurred while I was studying
That's pretty much why i never took legal action because to be honest, I wouldn't have gotten a lot anyhow. Wait wait wait, a girl stayed with you for 9 years, payed for part of your college, and you weren't in love with her anymore? The fuck happened? Paying for college tuition = eternal love?
With gender equality also came male golddiggers.
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On December 02 2013 02:32 rezoacken wrote:Show nested quote +On December 01 2013 19:07 Shauni wrote:On November 28 2013 11:30 LongShot27 wrote:On November 28 2013 11:22 GibberMD wrote:
Well, its a little more than just that.
I studied for 3 years at uni while in that relationship, and only worked a part time job. She was working fulltime for along time and payed for probably more than half of my tuition as i didn't want to HEX (basically student loan in Australia) it. Not to mention all the other costs that she incurred while I was studying
That's pretty much why i never took legal action because to be honest, I wouldn't have gotten a lot anyhow. Wait wait wait, a girl stayed with you for 9 years, payed for part of your college, and you weren't in love with her anymore? The fuck happened? Paying for college tuition = eternal love? With gender equality also came male golddiggers.
apparently
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On December 01 2013 19:07 Shauni wrote:Show nested quote +On November 28 2013 11:30 LongShot27 wrote:On November 28 2013 11:22 GibberMD wrote:
Well, its a little more than just that.
I studied for 3 years at uni while in that relationship, and only worked a part time job. She was working fulltime for along time and payed for probably more than half of my tuition as i didn't want to HEX (basically student loan in Australia) it. Not to mention all the other costs that she incurred while I was studying
That's pretty much why i never took legal action because to be honest, I wouldn't have gotten a lot anyhow. Wait wait wait, a girl stayed with you for 9 years, payed for part of your college, and you weren't in love with her anymore? The fuck happened? Paying for college tuition = eternal love?
Well if a girl cares enough about you to help fund you improving yourself, Im gonna go with, she loves you and you arent gonna find any better
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fuck compatibility dawg, she pays for shit!
that being said, if i were her, having dropped an assload of money on college for you and you drop that on me when it was something that you dont just decide overnight, yeah i'd be quite pissed and id be buying lots of nice stuff on your dime too.
then again, i wouldnt be paying for someone's education like that until i'm married so that shit cant happen so easily
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I think a lot of generalized advice goes out the window in the face of some woman willing to pay for your education lol. Lightly traveled waters these be, knawimsaying.
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http://www.npr.org/blogs/codeswitch/2013/11/30/247530095/are-you-interested-dating-odds-favor-white-men-asian-women?sc=17&f=1001
Of the 2.4 million heterosexual interactions researchers reviewed, the findings show: The numbers in this chart from Quartz show the percentage of people who responded to a "yes" on the "Are You Interested" app. Data: AYI. - Women get three times the interactions men do.
- All men seemed to be more interested in people outside their race.
- Black men and women get the lowest response rates to their messages.
- All women except black women are most drawn to white men, and men of all races (with one notable exception) prefer Asian women.
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Bleh...I am not surprised. Having been involved in anti-racism for quite some time, I initially saw interracial dating and marriage as the final stage to overcoming racism and disgust. I could not have been more wrong :/
One combination that has always saddened me was when I talked to many non-Asian guys with Asian girlfriends. They certainly are not be calling Asian people chinks or gooks, but dear god have so many of them have this really fucked up view on Asians. Multiculturalism does not mean an end to racism, it can also provide a new kind of racism that replaces negative dehumanizing bigotry with I something like "positive" bigotry.
The worst experience I have had was with a MGTOW (Men going their own way) who was telling me about the wonders of Asian women since they have no been corrupted by feminism do not cause any trouble and all that bullshit and he said this with the intent to impress me since I am Asian and all.
If you want more info\
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/
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On December 02 2013 17:59 Shiragaku wrote:
...
The worst experience I have had was with a MGTOW (Men going their own way) who was telling me about the wonders of Asian women since they have no been corrupted by feminism do not cause any trouble and all that bullshit and he said this with the intent to impress me since I am Asian and all.
I don't understand, why was this such a horrible experience? I am quite clueless tbh, but I have become aware of my own generalization of western white women, while when I look and talk with asian ones, its like I start with clean sheets, I have no idea about them which makes me more open minded and curious about them. I just dont want a nerve wreck that worries about all kinds of things, like all the shit that is expected of white women. I kind of want a WGTOW, dont care much about race.
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Is it possible for someone to be bisexual, autistic, & allergic to pretty much everything? My brother is dating a girl who has all these things. And she's really weird, she wears hats indoors, schmink and bizarre clothing. She is also visiting our house a lot, but she never makes her presence known, she just sneaks into the house to see my brother, which my parents find very annoying and rude. (also, it's annoying when you innocently go shower) She also has a girlfriend. And her parents are crazy religious and she seems very afraid of them somehow. And since he started dating her my brother has been into weird and "gothic" things and stopped talking to the family pretty much. And she also has a very low opinion of me for some reason.
Also, my brother is saying things like: "if I would have had the chance to choose my family I would have chosen a different family, that's just common sense if you think about it, because it's unrealistic that my family is the best one out of all the ones in the world".
Any advice on how to sabotage their relationship? o.o
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That data doesn't support any kind of "racism or bigotry in dating", not sure why you're trying to put it into that context in the first place.
IF the average white male has a higher average income
AND women are more likely to respond to someone with higher income
THEN women are more likely to respond to white males
...completely logical, zero racism involved. And you can draw up dozens of these.
While we're at it what exactly is bad about preferring a specific color of skin when it comes to your partner? Zero. Nada. Unless it's paired with a racist motive - which isn't in the slightest what that article is talking about.
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Norway28797 Posts
On December 02 2013 20:35 Grumbels wrote:
Is it possible for someone to be bisexual, autistic, & allergic to pretty much everything? My brother is dating a girl who has all these things. And she's really weird, she wears hats indoors, schmink and bizarre clothing. She is also visiting our house a lot, but she never makes her presence known, she just sneaks into the house to see my brother, which my parents find very annoying and rude. (also, it's annoying when you innocently go shower) She also has a girlfriend. And her parents are crazy religious and she seems very afraid of them somehow. And since he started dating her my brother has been into weird and "gothic" things and stopped talking to the family pretty much. And she also has a very low opinion of me for some reason.
Also, my brother is saying things like: "if I would have had the chance to choose my family I would have chosen a different family, that's just common sense if you think about it, because it's unrealistic that my family is the best one out of all the ones in the world".
Any advice on how to sabotage their relationship? o.o
The idea that you should sabotage their relationship, while hopefully tongue-in-cheek, might just be exactly why your brother is distancing himself from you and your parents..
I mean wtf there's so much in this post I can comment on while playing pretend psychoanalyst.. but I'll just go through some quick ones. 1: If she is bisexual, it sounds natural that she's "afraid" of her crazy religious parents. 2: If she's autistic, it makes sense that she doesn't really follow regular social code of conducts, as she probably doesn't really understand regular social conduct. 3: How does it matter that she's allergic to everything? 4: Really, wearing hats indoors and bizarre clothing makes any difference to you? 5: Opinions, especially of others, multiply. Considering you apparently don't like her, it's very natural that she doesn't like you either. Not saying you're the one who formed the bad opinion first, that's irrelevant anyway, but I have a hard time picturing you being genuinely nice towards her when this is the post you make online - and no matter how nice you think you're being, most people have a very, very hard time faking genuine niceness.
If you want your brother to stop choosing this girl over your family, all you need to do is stop making it a choice. Maybe he has issues of his own that makes him identify with the obvious oddball, maybe you (presumably you are the older brother - anything else doesn't make sense to me) already kinda fulfilled the "responsible upstanding person" role in your family and then the first identity which was left and appealed towards your brother was the "artistic outsider" or whatever.. Stop being judgmental, accept your brother's choice of girlfriend and accept the girlfriend as a wholesome human being rather than as a collection of weird personality traits.
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EPT
