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On August 16 2011 11:45 Fortis wrote:
When I was a kid, I killed a baby goose, by throwing it into a river over and over until it didn't have the energy to swim back (I didn't realize that this might happen, it was so much fun watching him swim to shore... I didn't have any pets in America so I felt like he was my little pet...). I cried for days and have never forgiven myself, and I still get teary when I see baby geese (which are common as dirt in my area). If I could choose one moment in my life to start over from, it would be that day, just so I could NOT do what I did. I'm sorry baby goose, I'm so so sorry...
;-;
Awwwwww. LOOOOOL.
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On August 16 2011 11:58 Achromic wrote:Show nested quote +On August 16 2011 11:45 Fortis wrote:
When I was a kid, I killed a baby goose, by throwing it into a river over and over until it didn't have the energy to swim back (I didn't realize that this might happen, it was so much fun watching him swim to shore... I didn't have any pets in America so I felt like he was my little pet...). I cried for days and have never forgiven myself, and I still get teary when I see baby geese (which are common as dirt in my area). If I could choose one moment in my life to start over from, it would be that day, just so I could NOT do what I did. I'm sorry baby goose, I'm so so sorry...
;-; Awwwwww. LOOOOOL.
I didn't have any pets growing up, but one day I found a turtle wandering in the back yard. I named him Sammy and kept him in one of those plastic milk crates. He never ate his food (which was just fruit scraps or something), so my parents decided to release him back into the "wild". We released him in some pond in a park, and I don't think I ever cried so much as a kid. I have a corgi now, so things are better 
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On August 16 2011 11:58 Achromic wrote:Show nested quote +On August 16 2011 11:45 Fortis wrote:
When I was a kid, I killed a baby goose, by throwing it into a river over and over until it didn't have the energy to swim back (I didn't realize that this might happen, it was so much fun watching him swim to shore... I didn't have any pets in America so I felt like he was my little pet...). I cried for days and have never forgiven myself, and I still get teary when I see baby geese (which are common as dirt in my area). If I could choose one moment in my life to start over from, it would be that day, just so I could NOT do what I did. I'm sorry baby goose, I'm so so sorry...
;-; Awwwwww. LOOOOOL.
It's not funny ): ... I sat for a minute or two crying before I hit post because I was too ashamed to post it, and that's why I wrote the ;-; at the end. That baby goose is the only reason I have cried in the past 2 years at the very least. I now treat all non-parasitic animals with utmost respect, and take good care of my pets ^^; This is how I try to atone....
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As a kid I did a lot of things without thinking at all about what would happen when I did them. I think the best example of that is when I was 12 years old I picked up the little toy bow I used all the time to shoot rubber arrows at windows and targets and stuff. The only arrow I could find to play with was one that had the rubber suction cup broken off so it was just a sharp broken plastic tip. Thinking that I wasn't going to even have a chance of hitting him I sent my little brother who was 7 at the time to run around in the backyard like a deer at a distance of about 30 feet. Well... I hit him. Hard enough to impale his back with the arrow and fall face down on the grass motionless. I was so stunned all I could think to do was drop the bow and run across the street to hide. I feel kinda bad.. but it we laugh about it now.
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I always have to have a stream running in the backround when im on the computer and i cried when i heard travitus died ;_;
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I worked as a painter painting houses all last summer. I was 20 at the time... I'm in school studying physics currently and like to pride myself on my maturity on various subjects pertaining to current events, politics, science and all things worldly.
It was a monday, and my sleep schedule was a tad screwed up resulting in me only getting about 3 hours of sleep before work.
My good friend and I decided to head to walgreens to pick up some drinks before we painted.
While we were standing in line, this 70 year old midget woman walked up behind my friend waiting in line. My friend is 6'4, and this woman was maybe 4 feet tall. She looked like chucky. Just seeing these two stand next to each other... I don't know what got into my head, or what caused this intense feeling inside, but I had the most intense urge to laugh I've had in a while. I played it off like I was coughing pretty well in the store..
As soon as we got outside I was in tears laughing until I wanted to throw up. My friend had no clue why I was laughing because he never even saw her, but when I told him what I had just seen, he started laughing until the tears came too.
It's weird, those real laughs, the ones where you start crying... are contagious.
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I really dont think im going anywhere in life, i work 4-5 days a week for 3 hrs, im 19 and still live with my parents, i failed social 30-2 and gym-20, ( even tho i was really fit in highschool) all i do is sit in my room.. read forums.. work.. sleep... good life eh?... fuck
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On August 16 2011 11:45 Fortis wrote:
When I was a kid, I killed a baby goose, by throwing it into a river over and over until it didn't have the energy to swim back (I didn't realize that this might happen, it was so much fun watching him swim to shore... I didn't have any pets in America so I felt like he was my little pet...). I cried for days and have never forgiven myself, and I still get teary when I see baby geese (which are common as dirt in my area). If I could choose one moment in my life to start over from, it would be that day, just so I could NOT do what I did. I'm sorry baby goose, I'm so so sorry...
;-;
That's so fucking sad man.. I feel like im going to cry 
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On August 16 2011 14:38 OscarN wrote:
I really dont think im going anywhere in life, i work 4-5 days a week for 3 hrs, im 19 and still live with my parents, i failed social 30-2 and gym-20, ( even tho i was really fit in highschool) all i do is sit in my room.. read forums.. work.. sleep... good life eh?... fuck
I suggest finding someone that needs help and serving them. Maybe volunteer somewhere? Helping others always makes you happy.
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Whenever I am vacuuming, I get a huge thrill when I get a messy area and feel the trash go up into the vacuum. It is almost like an addiction now...I have never been so happy when it came to vacuuming a messy house.
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I'm 22. I broke up with my gf (love of my life) of 4 years so that I could go to graduate school and focus solely on science. It would have been ok, except I did it in the worst way possible. I wanted to talk to her in person and tell her how important this was to me but I was on vacation when she finally emailed me. Instead of being honest, I told her I cheated on her and that we should break up because I was a terrible guy. Lost my best friend and my greatest love forever. At least I still have my science.
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On February 25 2011 02:59 Twistacles wrote:Show nested quote +On February 25 2011 02:37 Vore210 wrote:
People bore me. They just do. I barely bother to reply to texts, any schools/placed i've been for long periods of time once I leave I almost never speak to any of them ever again. Same goes for games i've played in the past and people i've known in them.
I seem to be liked (I tend to get somewhat popular if I put an effort into hanging around people), but I don't feel I get as much out of other people as they do of me. Long list of people i've thrown by the wayside without a moments regret.
Wonder sometimes if i'm losing my humanity, but I don't particularly care. And i'm not depressed, i'm actually quite happy. Don't know if im unique or not but I know i'm pretty strange. I feel the same way sometimes, bro.
same thing. the fucking conversations people have are just so fucking stupid i cant deal with it. guess were anti social or something? was real popular in high school though/
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On August 16 2011 14:50 Hoban wrote:
I'm 22. I broke up with my gf (love of my life) of 4 years so that I could go to graduate school and focus solely on science. It would have been ok, except I did it in the worst way possible. I wanted to talk to her in person and tell her how important this was to me but I was on vacation when she finally emailed me. Instead of being honest, I told her I cheated on her and that we should break up because I was a terrible guy. Lost my best friend and my greatest love forever. At least I still have my science.
lol man that is fucked up and shitty. I'm sure you could probably get her back if you wanted to... if you're willing to share science. ;p
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I slept with my best friend's girlfriend.
And I didn't feel bad about it when I told him.
Now I just get depressed immediately thinking about it.
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I'm ashamed to admit this but I wanted to see how best of both worlds by van halen and the video to party in the usa would be.
I then listened to party in the usa twice more.
I'm still a metal head I just wanted to experiment.
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1) I read all posts on this thread. Conclusion, few people had to talk about being gay, alot of people cheat, one girl came here to tell this guy to fuck off... How romantic. And the rest of the poeple have some kind of shame about their personality of something they did.
2) It's my turn bitches, I've been single for 4 years. Since then my life has degraded on a personal level. I left all my friends and move away. Ever since then i've been a hardcore gamer, i use it as a form of escapism. I had sex with 5 girls since, all of them were far less attractive then my ex, making me feel like i've downgraded.
3) I smoke weed everyday, I smoke tabacco. I can't stand it when I go to bed. When I wake up, I feel the need to smoke and do it.
I bought a gym membership for the second time this year, and have gone for a grand total of 4 times. 6 months paid all together...
The sad part is I used to be in great shape, but WoW has ruined my diet and fitness I lost over 20 pounds since 2007. The most sad part is I have a body designed to be top of the line, I have so much motivation but I bury it with weed.. I stopped smoking for 3 months and coudn't stand the life I was in.. So I Started smoking again to feel less motivated and satisfied with my lazy lifestyle.
My room is rarely clean, it's so bad last week-end I had to clean it because fruit flies were landing on my face while I was sitting in front of my monitor.
I leave cans lying around for months, I have had ash all over my desk with cigarette butts scattered around the ashtray.
Everytime I stop to look at my life I feel this urge to change. This overwhelming urge, but I never had discipline so one distraction and I go back into my routine.
The worst part, is I'm almost happy. I'm not sad, I feel like there is always reason to remain positive. I tell myself the future will satisfy my inner desire to be fullfilled and fully proud of myself.
But I don't act on it, and haven't for a decade.
I've always been the type of person where 1 piece of the puzzle leads to more pieces more rapidly.
But in this scenario I feel like the first piece of the puzzle is not being a smoker anymore.
Smoking makes me want to buy weed, weed kills all my time and motivation...
4) I actually wish I had a girlfriend sometimes. All the things I tell myself I need to do I neglect.
I tell myself, work out, eat properly, stop fucking staying up too late. The bags under my eyes are a syndrome of gaming.
The worst part is I'm actually a great gamer I was doing infestor play in beta times. I've accomplished things in games because of my talent at understanding, reacting, and creativity. For example, in 3v3 arena WoW I defeated most of the top 10 teams on the ladder when I played. I play this java browser game, it's considered the most popular web browser game for several years in a row. (Ogame.fr) by gameforge
Last summer I registered for a new account randomly, I told myself I would play a few months. Lose all my ships because I woudn't fleet save while I sleep. As things progressed, I was in the best "alliance" in universe Io. After 11 months of playing, raiding frenchies, I built my account to rank 2. I decided finally to stop playing, I activated Vacation mode and account deletion. It takes 7 days for the account to delete itself. During those seven days, rank 1 player was backstabbed with false information and turned into a 1v5 combat... Leaving me as the new rank1...
So I decided to continue playing casually. I really like this game, but I'm afraid that If I keep playing, a few years down the line I will want to quit, and will regret not quitting earlier.
Playing games that take up time really impact you're productivity, it's clear that in my life games are my priority. When I get bored of playing Starcraft, I log in to Global Agenda a newer game I just picked up, then I alternate with anno1404 dawn of discovery, and off course while having ogame open on my web browser.
The thing is, even If I had more time during the day. Between work, video games. It feels like I'm failling at giving myself attention. I don't even care that much about my virtual accounts, but I can't help but maintain them properly because of the way I am.
In life, I always felt like you have to manage you're time properly. Invest time where it will pay off.
My last relationship was actually ruined because I spent too much time on my virtual accounts...
For years these games were the sources of my torture but my device for avoiding them.
The irony I create is astounding. I want to evolve myself, but I feel stuck in my routine.
The day my ex-Girlfriend dumped me. Was the first time since I had been with her, where I actually stopped 100% what I was doing in WoW. And payed attention to our conversation.
I'm kind of afraid that I can't control myself around video game. I don't think badly of video games, I just wish I had more self control overall as a person. It would greatly help me in life, moderating the things I enjoy with the things that make me happy but are tasking.
5) I wish I was in university right now. I have a job, but it's grown stale. My company is international, we hosted the tele-conference for the NFLPA the day they brokered a deal.
Apparently they were yelling alot.(Global Crossing)
I wish I was in university because everyday I pass by Metro-McGill and I see a few straight hotties.
The last time I went in a social situation where I met people, I ended up in bed with a girl drunk as hell. She came to my place, took her clothes off before anything and just violated me. Too be honest, i'm pretty good looking so I hope no one sees me as complaining about not having a girl in my life. I'm actually extremely fortunate when it comes to sex life, but I don't think of sex. Too me sex is just plain without feelings. I'm looking for a relationship, but my lifestyle makes me feel shaky about it. As a younger kid, you know. Girls don't pay much attention to anything but you're looks and how you talk. But at my age (23) I feel like I should be more then I am right now to have the type of girl I want.
Anyways.
I've been building these feelings up for quite sometime. Everyday is the potential break-out i've been looking for. I just gotta mentaly win over myself to change!
If anyone read this post here's my last comment.
(I only post on t-liquid during work hours, I just killed my whole downtime this afternoon on this thread) That's right corporate America. Thanks for sponsering my team liquid posts!
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The room I used to have a while ago is the dirtiest you'll ever see.
I had it for two years, and it was a tiny room in Northern Seoul -- literally just a bed and a desk, and a clothes hanger in the corner. For the first year or so, it wasn't that dirty, but then it just spiraled out of control when I stopped caring.
It got so bad the only space not covered in trash, clothes, and random purchases was a small space on the bed I could sleep in curled up. The trash, clothes, etc. built a huge mountain on top of the bed, and the small bit of distance between the door and the bed was an obstacle course. The only things I ever managed to keep in top shape and easily findable in there were my laptop and my cell phone, and only because they're the only two items I really gave a fuck about.
When I went back home over the summer vacation, I ditched the room, and left my old land lady to clean up the mess. When I told her I would leave, I even lied to her and told her I would leave much later than I really did so she wouldn't make me clean it. So I pretty much stranded her with a room that was this dirty and messy so I wouldn't have to clean it on purpose, and when I go back to Korea next week I'm moving into a new room in a district 45 minutes away.
If that sounds messed-up, well it is. I cannot even begin to explain what it was with me and that room. I wanted to clean, and yet I couldn't (it was like I just couldn't get over my extreme unwillingness to get up and do it). And that's even though, I shit you not, I regularly had nightmares about someone else walking into my room, seeing the mess, and judging me for it. I felt dirty living there, I hated the room with a passion, I felt like less of a valuable human being for living in filth -- and yet I never changed it.
The funniest thing is that I kept my clothes relatively neat, showered regularly, and kept up a GPA of 3.8. I also don't drink or do drugs, except for caffeine. For all intents and purposes, I am not someone you would expect to live like that. Yet I did.
I feel deeply ashamed of it. To this day, I sometimes have nightmares about people I love and respect breaking into my room and judging me as a sloth. ;___; And yet, this complete revulsion for actually fucking cleaning for once. I do not understand it.
Edit: And just to make this all sound worse, I am actually a girl. I'd never hear the end of it if my Korean-born mother knew about any of this (along with a pity fest for the poor sob who'll marry me).
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When people help out a mentally challenged kid or someone they think is socially awkward, I generally think that they are being insincere and only do it to look good in front of others or for selfish reasons.
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1. I think confession threads in TL are the best thing I have read in this forum... so much emotional stuff ( Too bad they closed the one-line confessions thread ) I enjoy reading these threads and read every single one of the posts.
dont read the following text if you dont like reading retarded shit...
2. I fear that I will never fall in love again in my life. Still stuck having feelings for a girl for 7 years now, and I will probably never see her again. The only time I see her is in my dreams and on facebook. I had a feeling I could be able to forget her if I don't think about her for 6 months, and I tried my best, didn't open her profile at all and tried to lie to myself that I didn't care. It is obvious that the best course of action is to forget about her, but man it is very hard. I guess she will always be the one, just like the one girl that almost every man has in his life. The one girl that he can't have. Man I try to be a perfect person in every way, but she is my weakness. I've been debating a couple of times to delete her from facebook and block her so I cant see her, but man I know that If I do that there is no turning back and I will probably throw myself out the window. Man I can't believe I'm writing this shit in this forum... but I guess im not the only one, many people come here to confess their souls haha. The sad part really is that I will probably not see her again ... When she was in high school with me, man I acted retarded and really did have no clue on what women want, now a couple of years later I know how foolish and stupid I was..... I reject every single women that comes near me, always thinking about the "love of my life". I really dont like to brag, but objectively speaking im very close to a perfect man right now. Whatever, but I always beg for one more chance. Even though she lives in a different country and comes back for a couple of days an year and I know I wont get to see her, I dream of a life together with her. In my eyes, she is the perfect woman, even though objectively many of my friends always make fun of me and ask me "Why did you choose one of the ugliest girls to fall in love with"... Every day I remember a different story with her and try to recall all the mistakes that I did, so I can never repeat them again. Anyways I can't have her, and maybe that's why I want her. Smart people go for the hard stuff, go for the challenge. I am also afraid that if in the 0,00000001% chance that something happens between us in the upcoming years, when I finally understand that she is mine, then I will suddenly lose interest in her... Im a very competitive person and I always look for a challenge. There are some good points about my feelings for her. Being "in love" gives me a great motivation for living, for success. It gives me a spark in my soul that helps me move on, and doing everything for a purpose, even though ultimately that purpose is stupid( It's her) ... Maybe it will be cool if I fall in love again with another woman, so atleast there is some sense in all my actions reasons and motivations. I hope so.... But im telling you all, she is the one... the one that is always the woman that you think about when you hear the word love, the one that you hear about in many movies and books.
Damn what did I just write.. Im half-drunk, but I just need a friend to share this all to. Im not sharing this with my friends because this shit is fucking retarded and I dont want to burden them with listening to this. I dont know man, but she is all I think about... Im not sure if i want to forget her...
P.S. Im a very high masters random player and I play very little... for the small amount of games I have i consider myself very good... my friends think im god when they see me playing with 160-170 apm I know that If i wanted to I can become really good, but honestly it's not worth it do waste 7-8 hours of my life per day just to become a pro-gamer. Im 21 years old and I think im too old for this shit .. =) ... Man this post has gotten long maybe someone should delete it if you guys think its really stupid.. Sorry to the one person that reads my post because i have probably wasted his time. Sorry TL community
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I wasn't attracted to my last girlfriend at all. I hooked up with her one day because I got bored, she became attached and I ended up dating her because I felt like I had to.
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EPT
