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On November 28 2014 13:40 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
I still dont know what kind of meat i am
It's a mystery.
On December 01 2014 11:34 ninazerg wrote:
I think life is pointless, but I continue to live because I don't want other people to be sad.
Same here.
On December 02 2014 07:22 wmb wrote:
I have so many sex partners its hard to manage them all. Imagine urself remembering every type of word or stuff you talked about and ther names almost fucked me over sometimes.
Who hasn't been in this exact situation before?
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I didn't post on Teamliquid for almost two years because I had 4999 posts and I wanted my 5000th post to be important.
My life improved substantially in those two years because of all the extra free time I had.
I started posting on another message board recently and realize now that I have a serious problem. I'm addicted to posting and arguing on the internet for no good reason. Sometimes I'll go overboard and feel a deep sadness. I need to make more friends, and connect with people. I'm much better socially now than I was in my teens but I feel like I've regressed. Sharing opinions to strangers is fun but it feels like the easy way out.
On the other hand, I feel like some of the most rewarding, informative and interesting discussions I've had in the past five years has been on Team Liquid. It changed my life.
I'm the least successful megalomaniac I know.
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On December 02 2014 08:05 Ashakyre wrote:
I've been playing SCII since release and I still can't tell the difference between a reactor and a tech lab without clicking on it.
Glasses maybe? As often as not I mistake a lone zergling with the skin added for a map critter.
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On November 25 2014 21:50 KelsierSC wrote:
I sometimes play vs the computer on the first WOL maps whilst listening to old episodes of SOTG
Sometimes I stream Starcraft just to fall asleep. I love watching the game but it's so repetitive it bores me to sleep, like a reading a difficult book.
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I didn't do anything productive today, nor am I planning to change that.
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The biggest thing I'm looking forward to with LotV is editing all the liquipedia strategy articles and collecting my coins
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I have gym membership but have not gone to the gym in a few weeks now, even though I've had time over the holidays.
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First time I start getting real feeling for a girl in ages/maybe ever, and 6 months have passed without me really trying to put my feelings into forcing myself to get over my anxiety and start talking to her already. Fuck :<
Also I should be studying right now.
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On January 15 2015 07:16 Dark_Chill wrote:
I have gym membership but have not gone to the gym in a few weeks now, even though I've had time over the holidays.
Same here. May not want to go now though, people are still in the New Year's resolution stage where they wanna work out and shit. Another week or two and all is good again.
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On December 03 2014 09:37 Defacer wrote:
I didn't post on Teamliquid for almost two years because I had 4999 posts and I wanted my 5000th post to be important.
My life improved substantially in those two years because of all the extra free time I had.
I started posting on another message board recently and realize now that I have a serious problem. I'm addicted to posting and arguing on the internet for no good reason. Sometimes I'll go overboard and feel a deep sadness. I need to make more friends, and connect with people. I'm much better socially now than I was in my teens but I feel like I've regressed. Sharing opinions to strangers is fun but it feels like the easy way out.
On the other hand, I feel like some of the most rewarding, informative and interesting discussions I've had in the past five years has been on Team Liquid. It changed my life.
I'm the least successful megalomaniac I know.
I know how you feel. I used to spend hours posting here every day. I probably spent sixty hours a week between this site and Halo 2. I stopped coming here all the time, and I quit playing video games, and overall I've been happier for it.
I've had increased success at work, got promoted to somewhat of a leadership role, and I'm getting great experience that I plan on taking a long way in my career, but I'm still not successful right now. However, I feel the need to believe I am the success I want to be, and to act like I am successful and important, or I fear I'll never get where I want to go. I have a goal in mind, and I think I'm adjusting my behavior to reach my goal. I'm afraid that I'm becoming a pretentious asshole though, and that I'll push away too many people and ultimately fail. It's a really strange place in which I find myself right now.
I'm starting to wonder if I have bipolar II disorder. I don't think I ever become hypomanic, but I definitely have pretty drastic swings from really positive and so forth to unbelievably negative and pessimistic, and there's not a logical reason for the change; at least, there's not a logical reason that I've identified.
Maybe what's happening is completely normal, though. It's like, some days I'm ready to take on the world and whatever it might throw my way, and other days I realize how far out my goals are, and they seem impossibly difficult to achieve, and then I get a bit overwhelmed by all the work that I will have to do, and the fear that I won't be good enough to do all that I need to do, leading to an unfulfilled life. I put enormous pressure on myself to succeed, and I think it gets to me sometimes. Not to mention that I'm never pleased with any of the work I produce.
To say I'm a perfectionist is probably an understatement. For instance, I'm finally finishing my bachelor's degree, and I was one of two people in a class to get an A on one of the papers we had to write. From what I could see when I peaked at other people's scores, and from the overwhelmingly positive response the class gave when the professor said he accepted revisions for additional credit, the professor is a tough grader. He said he wanted professional quality writing, and it seems like he was pretty serious about that, given what I just mentioned. In any case, I thought my writing was C material, at best, and I was beating myself up for not having gotten to it earlier to write a better paper, and even after I saw the A, I was still ridiculously disappointed in what I wrote. That follows me to work, too.
On one hand, it's something that drives me to excel at work and school, and it's part of what has created the success that I've had to this point. On the other hand, I think it's a really dangerous mindset to keep. I think that it's this mentality that drives me into the somewhat depressed state I am currently in. I'm constantly telling myself that what I'm doing isn't good enough. I work 40 hours a week (roughly, sometimes more, sometimes less), have an hour commute to school (one way), and take 12 credit hours (consisting mainly of English classes, so I have insane reading loads, and tons of writing to do), I'm upset with myself when I take a day off on the weekend and say fuck it to whatever I need to do. If I'm caught up on my work, I'm upset with myself for not making the day more productive somehow. I think what's happening is that my brain finally catches on to my motivation technique and realizes that if I'm the sum of my work, and my work is never good enough, then I'm not good enough, and then that leads to my fear of never succeeding.
I don't know what to do to make that situation better. My fear is that I'll end up going way off the reservation into a really deep depression, or that I'll change my mentality and find comfort in mediocrity. I think I'd rather kill myself from depression than live a mediocre, lower-middle class life. This post is already long enough, so I won't get into all the background reasons for that, but I've thought a lot about it, and I don't say that lightly.
On an unrelated note, I stole four Jetsteam pens from my school's bookstore today. I wouldn't normally do something like that, but they totally fucked me over on an approved class substitution last semester, and it cost me an extra $400 or $600 (I'm paying for school out of my pocket, so that kind of hurt). I figure the least they can do is give me a few pens in return. Pricks.
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I hate people, or more like I just don't care about them at all. I had a girlfriend for 6 months like 6 years ago but I got bored and since then I don't even want one, I have 0 friends, just some random people who I talk to about work related things, I wish I could just live my alone in a basement with a PC, actually I have more 'friends' on the internet since I can be myself without any consequences and it's lot easier to find people with the same interests. For example I fap to hentai and watch cute girls doing cute things in anime etc and well these are not really acceptable in the current society, fortunately nobody knows these. I hate my job even though most people would be envious of it since sometimes I just browse the internet for like half the day and I get an above average salary, I just don't feel motivated. Actually I don't feel motivated to do anything at all except when playing dota or csgo, I just love the feeling of competition. I don't feel strongly about anything in life, I guess that's an advantage since I see people getting stressed over so many things and I'm like yeah right whatever, let's say my mother would die tomorrow and I would just move on, not like I can do anything about it, I'm dead inside or something. The strange thing is that when I read some literature or watch anime I can feel strong emotions but in real life I just can't connect. I always look down on people who just get a gf and/or kids because that's normal and then whine about it every day, well it was your choice so live with it, I don't give a shit about it(fuck this sounds edgy as hell). My relationship isn't bad with anybody, I act professional on the surface and in my job so it's not like I have any problems, I just sometimes feel like what's the point of all this shit. And no, I don't want to deal with kids or a gf and the problems that come with them, I want to spend my time as I want to, secluded from society etc but unfortunately that is not possible until I win the lottery or something.
Well this became a rather long incoherent rant about random things, whatever.
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On January 20 2015 02:58 rwn wrote:
I hate people, or more like I just don't care about them at all. I had a girlfriend for 6 months like 6 years ago but I got bored and since then I don't even want one, I have 0 friends, just some random people who I talk to about work related things, I wish I could just live my alone in a basement with a PC, actually I have more 'friends' on the internet since I can be myself without any consequences and it's lot easier to find people with the same interests. For example I fap to hentai and watch cute girls doing cute things in anime etc and well these are not really acceptable in the current society, fortunately nobody knows these. I hate my job even though most people would be envious of it since sometimes I just browse the internet for like half the day and I get an above average salary, I just don't feel motivated. Actually I don't feel motivated to do anything at all except when playing dota or csgo, I just love the feeling of competition. I don't feel strongly about anything in life, I guess that's an advantage since I see people getting stressed over so many things and I'm like yeah right whatever, let's say my mother would die tomorrow and I would just move on, not like I can do anything about it, I'm dead inside or something. The strange thing is that when I read some literature or watch anime I can feel strong emotions but in real life I just can't connect. I always look down on people who just get a gf and/or kids because that's normal and then whine about it every day, well it was your choice so live with it, I don't give a shit about it(fuck this sounds edgy as hell). My relationship isn't bad with anybody, I act professional on the surface and in my job so it's not like I have any problems, I just sometimes feel like what's the point of all this shit. And no, I don't want to deal with kids or a gf and the problems that come with them, I want to spend my time as I want to, secluded from society etc but unfortunately that is not possible until I win the lottery or something.
Well this became a rather long incoherent rant about random things, whatever.
I feel the exact same way
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I like this girl she doesn't like me back and I can't get over her. It makes no sense usually I don't give a damn about stuff like that.
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I've been playing SC2 since release and I still don't know how to use the camera hotkeys.
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I buy lottery tickets almost daily in hope that I could quit studying medicine and then dedicate my life to having sex with prostitutes.
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I've played thousands of hours of SC2 multiplayer, but I'm just starting the single-player campaigns- WoL, then HotS, then LotV, etc.- today. Based on my work schedule, I assume I'll be done with all the campaigns sometime in the summer.
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Seeing an old thread get necro'ed makes me smile.
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I feel like a fraud all the time. It's like I don't have any real skill and knowledge and when it's going to be time to actually find a job and perform, I'll be horribly inadequate. Just stumbling my way through life, hoping people won't pierce through my facade and expose me.
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EPT
