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On January 09 2011 09:38 writer22816 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 09 2011 09:36 heishe wrote:
How retarded is this? Favouring "A"s over developing the childs interest in a specific field and just accidentally producing a socially underdeveloped supernerd who will likely have trouble enjoying his life by the time he needs to stand on his own feet.
The author sounds so fucking full of herself it's disgusting. How can you put your childs SUCCESS in such a priority, disregard almost anything else and even brag about it?
Honestly the rage-macro would be adequate here, I'm RL raging at this idiocy. You know what's fucking disgusting? The amount of people in this thread who automatically assume that these kids are going to be "socially undeveloped", "emotionally unstable", "likely to do drugs", and "completely dependent on their parents". Fuck off.
If you follow the guidelines stated in that article, your children are very likely to be all of those things.
The kind of strict, neurosis-inducing, ends-oriented parenting many Chinese parents favor is nothing more than filial totalitarianism.
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I kind of want to throw up.
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United States1785 Posts
Ok so why play any instrument besides piano or violen? I'm just really curious about this and this seemed to catch my eye more than anything in the article. If anyone could elaborate I'd appreciate it <3
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On January 09 2011 09:41 BasedSwag wrote:Show nested quote +On January 09 2011 09:38 writer22816 wrote:On January 09 2011 09:36 heishe wrote:
How retarded is this? Favouring "A"s over developing the childs interest in a specific field and just accidentally producing a socially underdeveloped supernerd who will likely have trouble enjoying his life by the time he needs to stand on his own feet.
The author sounds so fucking full of herself it's disgusting. How can you put your childs SUCCESS in such a priority, disregard almost anything else and even brag about it?
Honestly the rage-macro would be adequate here, I'm RL raging at this idiocy. You know what's fucking disgusting? The amount of people in this thread who automatically assume that these kids are going to be "socially undeveloped", "emotionally unstable", "likely to do drugs", and "completely dependent on their parents". Fuck off. Child abuse is a well documented cause of many psychological problems, I think it's safe to assume anyone emotionally (& physically) abused like the writers children will have some issues in later life stemming from it.
Then shit, kids without parenting must grow up to be pinnacles of society. Slow down, this isn't abuse.
On January 09 2011 09:46 Sephy69 wrote:
Ok so why play any instrument besides piano or violen? I'm just really curious about this and this seemed to catch my eye more than anything in the article. If anyone could elaborate I'd appreciate it <3
Because P/V looks and sounds better; the associations with each instrument are far greater than any other. Think about it, how many famous clarinet or oboe players do you know? All the famous composers were closely associated with the two instruments in question.
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Sounds like a boring childhood, and a boring life, even if you manage to get straight As and a good salary.
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I agree with the part about instilling good work ethic part so they have the drive to put in the work but other then that...yikes. You can instill good values and strong work ethic to get the good grades and they can still have a life.
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On January 09 2011 09:42 Krigwin wrote:Show nested quote +On January 09 2011 09:38 writer22816 wrote:On January 09 2011 09:36 heishe wrote:
How retarded is this? Favouring "A"s over developing the childs interest in a specific field and just accidentally producing a socially underdeveloped supernerd who will likely have trouble enjoying his life by the time he needs to stand on his own feet.
The author sounds so fucking full of herself it's disgusting. How can you put your childs SUCCESS in such a priority, disregard almost anything else and even brag about it?
Honestly the rage-macro would be adequate here, I'm RL raging at this idiocy. You know what's fucking disgusting? The amount of people in this thread who automatically assume that these kids are going to be "socially undeveloped", "emotionally unstable", "likely to do drugs", and "completely dependent on their parents". Fuck off. If you follow the guidelines stated in that article, your children are very likely to be all of those things. The kind of strict, neurosis-inducing, ends-oriented parenting many Chinese parents favor is nothing more than filial totalitarianism.
The other side of the coin is that she's right to a certain degree. I personally don't see anything wrong with strictly emphasizing academic word among other things. The point is to reinforce a good work ethic and to teach that anything can be done with hard work.
I know kids who's parents were closely like the author, and they turned out fine. Not all kids are the same, and some will flourish under such parenting while still being aware of the need for other things in their life other than academic success.
Keep in mind that completely blowing off an entire style of parenting is no better than enforcing a completely "totalitarian" one.
I really can't agree that the "having a life is better" argument is any much better than the original author's. Sometimes I prefer what most people would consider "having no life" and staying home and studying to stay on top of my work instead of blowing off work to socialize. It's not that I hate people or I'm a shut in of any sort - you just have to prioritize.
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On January 09 2011 09:26 Sufficiency wrote:Show nested quote +On January 09 2011 09:21 forcestealer wrote:
i find it funny how she assumes that being child prodigy at the piano or violin = financial success, an obvious a fallacy judging on the current state of western music -.-she also fails to indicate to what happens when the children leave their parents... She didn't say that. Frankly, I think it's better to spend time on violin than on playing sc2. Not that I hate sc2, I am just stating what is probably her point of view - make children spend time on music instead of other, perhaps less desirable, activities.
I never said that spending time playing SC2 is better than playing the violin 
Although playing Violin being extremely good at it could possibly land you a job playing for an orchestra or composing music, what's to say that if you were really good at SC2 couldn't lead to financial success?
I personally think that success is more based on a person's willingness to work rather than some person forcing you to work. For example, all those korean pro-gamers spend HOURS training. They don't have their moms behind them yelling at them forcing them to play starcraft all day...and yet, they are fairly financially successful in korea (ofcourse i don't know their actual salaries so i can't actually judge how good their finances actually are)
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On January 09 2011 09:47 Judicator wrote:Show nested quote +On January 09 2011 09:41 BasedSwag wrote:On January 09 2011 09:38 writer22816 wrote:On January 09 2011 09:36 heishe wrote:
How retarded is this? Favouring "A"s over developing the childs interest in a specific field and just accidentally producing a socially underdeveloped supernerd who will likely have trouble enjoying his life by the time he needs to stand on his own feet.
The author sounds so fucking full of herself it's disgusting. How can you put your childs SUCCESS in such a priority, disregard almost anything else and even brag about it?
Honestly the rage-macro would be adequate here, I'm RL raging at this idiocy. You know what's fucking disgusting? The amount of people in this thread who automatically assume that these kids are going to be "socially undeveloped", "emotionally unstable", "likely to do drugs", and "completely dependent on their parents". Fuck off. Child abuse is a well documented cause of many psychological problems, I think it's safe to assume anyone emotionally (& physically) abused like the writers children will have some issues in later life stemming from it. Then shit, kids without parenting must grow up to be pinnacles of society. Slow down, this isn't abuse.
Not letting your kid go to the bathroom because they aren't able to perform an extremely technical piece of music on the piano isn't child abuse? What is then?
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On January 09 2011 09:47 Slaughter wrote:
I agree with the part about instilling good work ethic part so they have the drive to put in the work but other then that...yikes. You can instill good values and strong work ethic to get the good grades and they can still have a life.
But i can't brag about my kid having a life on the other hand i can brag about my kid being top of his class.
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On January 09 2011 09:41 ffz wrote:
my kid is going to have so many video games he'll frekaing get adhd by the age of 2. Thats a promise. Fuck all this crap about having kids being successful and shit. I'll work hard enough so that they don't have to.
Well, thank you for being such a good socialist and designing your children to help redistribute your wealth. (rich idiots for the win)
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I saw this article in the newspaper this morning, but didn't get around to reading it.
I would hate somebody for years if they repeatedly did this to me.
Yes, you need some pressure, and some "western" parents can be weaker-"do whatever you want to, some develop more slowly than others".
But something close to torture? No.
I've heard stories from trustworthy friends about children, usually asian, who have these kinds of parents and burst into tears when they get their report card because they got a B.
She's walking a very fine line between motivation and harassment that, as somebody else said, could lead to suicide/depression. I know such treatment would lead to that in myself (or maybe just anger). "Garbage?" Really?
At the same time, in order to succeed, a child needs help on work and needs motivation. A C is not a good grade (in 99% of cases)
Playdates are one of the main ways to develop social skills. You WILL "fail" in life without basic people skills, unless your IQ is 180+.
The thing that bugs me most is that she tries to force her children to be No 1 in everything. Mathematically this is not possible, if there are several children with such "demanding" parents.
Somehow I don't understand how a child could forgive her mother so easily after the piano torture.
Unless you were used to such torture, and accepted it as a fact of life. (unlikely, unless you were beaten since childhood)
Part of the reason why many foreign groups feel as though their academic standards are so high is that, for the most part, only the smart, educated people are able to immigrate to the US, giving a biased impression of the nationality. Although many nationalities put a much larger focus on education than we do here. (Not that I'm one to judge-I go to one of the best schools in my state, if not the country)
That's my rant.
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On January 09 2011 09:48 BasedSwag wrote:Show nested quote +On January 09 2011 09:47 Judicator wrote:On January 09 2011 09:41 BasedSwag wrote:On January 09 2011 09:38 writer22816 wrote:On January 09 2011 09:36 heishe wrote:
How retarded is this? Favouring "A"s over developing the childs interest in a specific field and just accidentally producing a socially underdeveloped supernerd who will likely have trouble enjoying his life by the time he needs to stand on his own feet.
The author sounds so fucking full of herself it's disgusting. How can you put your childs SUCCESS in such a priority, disregard almost anything else and even brag about it?
Honestly the rage-macro would be adequate here, I'm RL raging at this idiocy. You know what's fucking disgusting? The amount of people in this thread who automatically assume that these kids are going to be "socially undeveloped", "emotionally unstable", "likely to do drugs", and "completely dependent on their parents". Fuck off. Child abuse is a well documented cause of many psychological problems, I think it's safe to assume anyone emotionally (& physically) abused like the writers children will have some issues in later life stemming from it. Then shit, kids without parenting must grow up to be pinnacles of society. Slow down, this isn't abuse. Not letting your kid go to the bathroom because they aren't able to perform an extremely technical piece of music on the piano isn't child abuse? What is then?
Yeah, the kid totally shit her pants and child services came over. Glad you can take an isolated situation and make massive assumptions that the parent must be abusing the kids. I understand your logic, but you're making a pretty big leap of faith. Abuse implies that the parent doesn't have the best interests of the child in mind, which clearly isn't the case. The child isn't going to be scarred for life because of this. I am more curious to what you consider exactly to be child abuse (aka your definition/parameters), otherwise there's no point to any of your posts.
On January 09 2011 09:49 semantics wrote:Show nested quote +On January 09 2011 09:47 Slaughter wrote:
I agree with the part about instilling good work ethic part so they have the drive to put in the work but other then that...yikes. You can instill good values and strong work ethic to get the good grades and they can still have a life. But i can't brag about my kid having a life on the other hand i can brag about my kid being top of his class.
This happens with everyone of every ethnicity, there's 2 problems with this. One is taking pride for your child's success, there's nothing wrong with this and a lot of people associate this as living through your child which is rarer than you think (at least with all of the Asians I have known). The second is that I would be more scared for the jock families than the Asians.
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For the people who are uninformed, not all Chinese mothers are like this (im sure most of you are smart enough to know this though), this is just some dumbass insane batshit bitch. (she even looks like one)
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The only thing that disturbs me is the smug arrogance she uses writing the article. She is 100% sure than in her mind, that is the correct way and only way to raise a child. That's fucking sad.
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On January 09 2011 09:55 Judicator wrote:Show nested quote +On January 09 2011 09:48 BasedSwag wrote:On January 09 2011 09:47 Judicator wrote:On January 09 2011 09:41 BasedSwag wrote:On January 09 2011 09:38 writer22816 wrote:On January 09 2011 09:36 heishe wrote:
How retarded is this? Favouring "A"s over developing the childs interest in a specific field and just accidentally producing a socially underdeveloped supernerd who will likely have trouble enjoying his life by the time he needs to stand on his own feet.
The author sounds so fucking full of herself it's disgusting. How can you put your childs SUCCESS in such a priority, disregard almost anything else and even brag about it?
Honestly the rage-macro would be adequate here, I'm RL raging at this idiocy. You know what's fucking disgusting? The amount of people in this thread who automatically assume that these kids are going to be "socially undeveloped", "emotionally unstable", "likely to do drugs", and "completely dependent on their parents". Fuck off. Child abuse is a well documented cause of many psychological problems, I think it's safe to assume anyone emotionally (& physically) abused like the writers children will have some issues in later life stemming from it. Then shit, kids without parenting must grow up to be pinnacles of society. Slow down, this isn't abuse. Not letting your kid go to the bathroom because they aren't able to perform an extremely technical piece of music on the piano isn't child abuse? What is then? Yeah, the kid totally shit her pants and child services came over. Glad you can take an isolated situation and make massive assumptions that the parent must be abusing the kids. I understand your logic, but you're making a pretty big leap of faith. Abuse implies that the parent doesn't have the best interests of the child in mind, which clearly isn't the case. The child isn't going to be scarred for life because of this. I am more curious to what you consider exactly to be child abuse (aka your definition/parameters), otherwise there's no point to any of your posts.
Be silent, Judicator.
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Also, colleges "say" they value "well-roundedness" over "sit in a room and studying".
Its true, to a certain degree. A person I know well recently got into two of the top 10ish schools in the nation, while a friend, who skipped a year of math and took math classes at a Ivy league school was rejected.
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Sounds more like child abuse than parenting to me. I guess I would be more comfortable with this if the author gave some indication that she thought through the possible consequences instead of blindly following what she saw from her parents.
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On January 09 2011 09:55 Judicator wrote:Show nested quote +On January 09 2011 09:48 BasedSwag wrote:On January 09 2011 09:47 Judicator wrote:On January 09 2011 09:41 BasedSwag wrote:On January 09 2011 09:38 writer22816 wrote:On January 09 2011 09:36 heishe wrote:
How retarded is this? Favouring "A"s over developing the childs interest in a specific field and just accidentally producing a socially underdeveloped supernerd who will likely have trouble enjoying his life by the time he needs to stand on his own feet.
The author sounds so fucking full of herself it's disgusting. How can you put your childs SUCCESS in such a priority, disregard almost anything else and even brag about it?
Honestly the rage-macro would be adequate here, I'm RL raging at this idiocy. You know what's fucking disgusting? The amount of people in this thread who automatically assume that these kids are going to be "socially undeveloped", "emotionally unstable", "likely to do drugs", and "completely dependent on their parents". Fuck off. Child abuse is a well documented cause of many psychological problems, I think it's safe to assume anyone emotionally (& physically) abused like the writers children will have some issues in later life stemming from it. Then shit, kids without parenting must grow up to be pinnacles of society. Slow down, this isn't abuse. Not letting your kid go to the bathroom because they aren't able to perform an extremely technical piece of music on the piano isn't child abuse? What is then? Yeah, the kid totally shit her pants and child services came over. Glad you can take an isolated situation and make massive assumptions that the parent must be abusing the kids. I understand your logic, but you're making a pretty big leap of faith. Abuse implies that the parent doesn't have the best interests of the child in mind, which clearly isn't the case. The child isn't going to be scarred for life because of this. I am more curious to what you consider exactly to be child abuse (aka your definition/parameters), otherwise there's no point to any of your posts.
I'm not assuming the parents were abusing their kids.. they were. Not letting someone go to the bathroom is an idea you might have when considering how to torture a person, not something you would do to your children. The fact that she decided to use such a harsh 'punishment' over something as ridiculous as piano training is disgusting to me.
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This article is super specific and probably only applies to that author's family and a few others. I'm Chinese and have plenty of close Chinese friends from school and none of their parents act like this. For me personally, work ethic was instilled very early on i.e. elementary school, and my parents didn't have to say much for me to study or get good grades from then on. Most of this article contains blatant exaggerations and just plain stupid parenting, for example the "no eating until you learn this piano song" kind of thing.
The only thing that is pretty true in the article is the part where Chinese parents can call their kids fat. It may seem brutal but it's actually pretty much normal for Chinese parents to be blunt about stuff like that. It may seem insensitive, but in Chinese culture it's pretty commonplace. Going with that idea, it's also common for Chinese parents to give "negative reinforcement" as they tend to see the negative side of a situation, e.g. when my friend got a near-perfect 36 on his ACT his parents raged because he got a 35 on Science.
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EPT
