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On January 09 2011 09:26 Piy wrote:
It doesn't work though. You raise children that are good at work but bad at being people, so they just end up miserable. And a large percentage of people raised like this burn out anyway. Like Progamers in Korea and anything with that kind of workload, they start to have trouble sticking to their schedule then eventually burn out in about a decade.
Meh.
I honestly don't think you can teach people skills to a 7 years old.
On January 09 2011 09:28 BasedSwag wrote:Show nested quote +On January 09 2011 09:26 Sufficiency wrote:On January 09 2011 09:21 forcestealer wrote:
i find it funny how she assumes that being child prodigy at the piano or violin = financial success, an obvious a fallacy judging on the current state of western music -.-she also fails to indicate to what happens when the children leave their parents... She didn't say that. Frankly, I think it's better to spend time on violin than on playing sc2. Not that I hate sc2, I am just stating what is probably her point of view - make children spend time on music instead of other, perhaps less desirable, activities. Except she specifically states that they are only allowed to learn either piano or violin. So she clearly feels that only those two are worthy/capable of making you into a successful (wealthy) person. I think that above all else if everyone adhered to this method of raising their kids the would would be a fucking boring place.
I think to be successful not only do you have to learn the skills that directly makes you successful (if you are a scientist, for example, then this skill would be what you learn in university), but discipline as well. I am not sure about violin, but piano is a very hard instrument to play and requires a lot of patience and discipline. That might be why.
Of course, you may argue about other instruments or activities that may do the same. I agree. But I think you are twisting what she said a little bit.
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On January 09 2011 09:24 snotboogie wrote:
Not all Chinese mothers are like that.
Also, raising children in this way tends to produce obsessive-compulsive, perfectionistic adults who are prone to depression.
Then how would you explain Western-style-parented kids having OCD or perfectionism?
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i guess the author's chinese mother wasnt strict enough cause she wasnt successful in raising a smart daughter.
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On January 09 2011 09:29 Sufficiency wrote:Show nested quote +On January 09 2011 09:26 Piy wrote:
It doesn't work though. You raise children that are good at work but bad at being people, so they just end up miserable. And a large percentage of people raised like this burn out anyway. Like Progamers in Korea and anything with that kind of workload, they start to have trouble sticking to their schedule then eventually burn out in about a decade.
Meh. I honestly don't think you can teach people skills to a 7 years old.
Yeah you can, it's called letting them have friends & do normal social activities.
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United States24805 Posts
I think one of the reasons why the mindset of the author still carries a lot of weight in many people's minds when compared to 'Western parenting' is because Western parenting is difficult to do well and is almost always 'screwed up' to a degree. The type of parenting described in the article is not that difficult to do if you
a) Have time to be hands on
b) Have no trouble dishing out tons of tough love
The type of parenting that proves to be successful in Western families is difficult to accomplish even if you have lots of time to dedicate to the child and willingness to do 'what is necessary.' It also needs to be adapted to every child as every child is different.
As others have said academic success and work ethic are only two pieces of a larger picture that shows all the aspects of health and development.
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On January 09 2011 09:24 snotboogie wrote:
Also, raising children in this way tends to produce obsessive-compulsive, perfectionistic adults who are prone to depression.
Basically that. A harsh childhood raising may lead to mentally unstable individuals as they reach their adulthood.
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They clearly got a point, children are mentally weak, if you expect them to endure the hardship of a lifetime of study own their own accord you are basically hoping for a lottery ticket.
Learning how to endure long ours of grind in whatever it is, is one of the most usefull skills to have in todays society.
That said, theres a line between teaching your son not to give up, thro his own example of success again and again and again, and just being a dick parent.
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I wonder if she titled it' why chinese mothers are superior' because her husband is white? She does continue the rest of her article using the more inclusive 'chinese parents' so I don't even know why she used that title.
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On January 09 2011 09:16 D3ath3nat0r wrote:
I am asian, my parents dont really pressure me into do anything, they just give me a lecture, you fail grades--> you fail school --> you go terrible college ---> you get terrible job----> have terrible life
it really wants to make me do well, you can be popular now in school but end up being a dumb ass and no1 liking you in the future
Being popular is a good of indication of success imo than any.
Not like you cant get good grades and have a social life.
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How retarded is this? Favouring "A"s over developing the childs interest in a specific field and just accidentally producing a socially underdeveloped supernerd who will likely have trouble enjoying his life by the time he needs to stand on his own feet.
The author sounds so fucking full of herself it's disgusting. How can you put your childs SUCCESS in such a priority, disregard almost anything else and even brag about it?
Not to mention that there are "western-parenting" ways of giving your child success, while not turning it into a person who is 100% identifiable with the socially awkward penguin.
Honestly the rage-macro would be adequate here, I'm RL raging at this idiocy.
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On January 09 2011 09:34 buickskylark wrote:
I wonder if she titled it' why chinese mothers are superior' because her husband is white? She does continue the rest of her article using the more inclusive 'chinese parents' so I don't even know why she used that title.
Probably because in Chinese culture, the mother interacts a lot more with her children than the father, who usually works and comes off as detached.
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On January 09 2011 09:18 deL wrote:
Why not cut the crap and just replace their children with small robots.
hahah, you won the thread :D
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On January 09 2011 09:20 DrivE wrote:Show nested quote +If a Chinese child gets a B—which would never happen—there would first be a screaming, hair-tearing explosion. The devastated Chinese mother would then get dozens, maybe hundreds of practice tests and work through them with her child for as long as it takes to get the grade up to an A. I found this paragraph to be extremely exaggerated.
Yep. People love to overlook the fact that Asian parents still love their children and that while their methods are different from Western styles are representative of this. Of course there are problems with the stereotypical Asian approach to parenting, but that is the case for every approach.
And to the person with the money doesn't solve everything. There's a Chinese proverb that summarizes the fallacy in buying into logic, roughly paraphrasing: Money is not everything but you can't do anything without it.
And to the person asking for statistics, get a clue. Statistics are after the fact, they do not predict the future contrary to popular belief. Unless you really want to live your life based on statistics based on someone else's life. You want to know why anecdotal stories are useful? Because you can think about how your life compares to someone else's and how they approach the ideal of succeeding at life differs from yours. In other words, it lets you learn from others. When Asian parents say so and so got something great, they're not saying go out and do the same, they're saying to think about how you can achieve something just as great.
Ironically the statistics argument is precisely the reason why Asian parents prefer the "safe" approach to success...and so to the person saying Asians will never raise a Bill Gates or Steve Jobs, get a clue too. How many college dropouts went on to succeed like Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerburg? How many individuals without a college degree went on to be living comfortably in life? Then ask yourself how big of a pool those individuals came out of.
I am not saying Chinese mothers are tops, I am just addressing some of the fallacies being brought up in this thread and that the Chinese approach to parenting somehow dooms their kids on multiple levels. I will say this though, the one-child policy puts an unique twist on parenting.
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On January 09 2011 09:36 heishe wrote:
How retarded is this? Favouring "A"s over developing the childs interest in a specific field and just accidentally producing a socially underdeveloped supernerd who will likely have trouble enjoying his life by the time he needs to stand on his own feet.
The author sounds so fucking full of herself it's disgusting. How can you put your childs SUCCESS in such a priority, disregard almost anything else and even brag about it?
Honestly the rage-macro would be adequate here, I'm RL raging at this idiocy.
You know what's fucking disgusting? The amount of people in this thread who automatically assume that these kids are going to be "socially undeveloped", "emotionally unstable", "likely to do drugs", and "completely dependent on their parents". Fuck off.
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Maybe cultural differences? Asian culture stresses the betterment of the community and/or family and western culture is more about individuality, but im just pulling this out my ass.
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On January 09 2011 09:38 writer22816 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 09 2011 09:36 heishe wrote:
How retarded is this? Favouring "A"s over developing the childs interest in a specific field and just accidentally producing a socially underdeveloped supernerd who will likely have trouble enjoying his life by the time he needs to stand on his own feet.
The author sounds so fucking full of herself it's disgusting. How can you put your childs SUCCESS in such a priority, disregard almost anything else and even brag about it?
Honestly the rage-macro would be adequate here, I'm RL raging at this idiocy. You know what's fucking disgusting? The amount of people in this thread who automatically assume that these kids are going to be "socially undeveloped", "emotionally unstable", "likely to do drugs", and "completely dependent on their parents". Fuck off.
I'm not saying anything about using drugs and being completely dependnet on their parents, but how can something like this possibly produce anyone who does not have a few social phobias, or someone with an extreme pressure for success?
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On January 09 2011 09:38 writer22816 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 09 2011 09:36 heishe wrote:
How retarded is this? Favouring "A"s over developing the childs interest in a specific field and just accidentally producing a socially underdeveloped supernerd who will likely have trouble enjoying his life by the time he needs to stand on his own feet.
The author sounds so fucking full of herself it's disgusting. How can you put your childs SUCCESS in such a priority, disregard almost anything else and even brag about it?
Honestly the rage-macro would be adequate here, I'm RL raging at this idiocy. You know what's fucking disgusting? The amount of people in this thread who automatically assume that these kids are going to be "socially undeveloped", "emotionally unstable", "likely to do drugs", and "completely dependent on their parents". Fuck off.
Child abuse is a well documented cause of many psychological problems, I think it's safe to assume anyone emotionally (& physically) abused like the writers children will have some issues in later life stemming from it.
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my kid is going to have so many video games he'll frekaing get adhd by the age of 2. Thats a promise. Fuck all this crap about having kids being successful and shit. I'll work hard enough so that they don't have to.
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I was thinking that the entire article was some huge exaggeration (it would've been pretty funny if it was) until the piano part... wow someone has issues.
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On January 09 2011 09:39 Proxie wrote:
Maybe cultural differences? Asian culture stresses the betterment of the community and/or family and western culture is more about individuality? but im just pulling this out my ass.
It's not betterment it's status, think shame based culture and punishment.
On January 09 2011 09:42 synapse wrote:
I was thinking that the entire article was some huge exaggeration (it would've been pretty funny if it was) until the piano part... wow someone has issues.
It would be funny if it was satire it's just kind of sad instead.
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EPT
