I am asian, my parents dont really pressure me into do anything, they just give me a lecture, you fail grades--> you fail school --> you go terrible college ---> you get terrible job----> have terrible life

it really wants to make me do well, you can be popular now in school but end up being a dumb ass and no1 liking you in the future

BasedSwag

Algeria418 Posts

January 09 2011 00:16 GMT

#43

On January 09 2011 09:15 Romance_us wrote:

Show nested quote +

EASILY the most ironic thing I see on the internet on a daily basis

Yeah, but he's still right. There's a lot of evidence to support what he said.

.Aar

2177 Posts

January 09 2011 00:17 GMT

#44

No comment. Being raised by Asian parents, I have much to say regarding this, but it'd take too long and I don't particularly care to share much about the experience.

To make this post worth posting, though, here's an interesting book on the subject you might want to check out.

Gummy

United States2180 Posts

January 09 2011 00:17 GMT

#45

In all of seriousness, once you've convinced a child that he doesn't need friends and that as long as he sticks with his suicidal motivation, he'll find happiness in life, you will have an even harder time convincing him about realities of the real world, which are almost precisely opposite.

I find it striking how so many "Chinese mothers" entirely neglect the importance of social skills in favor of 2400s, 4.0s and international music/math/science recognitions. In all of likelihood a person is not born with the talent he needs to be the indubitable god-gifted prodigy. More likely, copious quantities of hard work will bring him to a level of mere excellence. But in today's world, excellence alone will not bring you success or even money.

Additionally required are other people. Who you know (and more importantly, who knows you), given a sufficient competence level, is THE deciding factor. It is also the factor that may become a soulcrushing barrier to the child of the Chinese mother.

blankspace

United States292 Posts

January 09 2011 00:17 GMT

#46

I feel like this article/her parenting methods were far too extreme. Maybe some children are luckily born strong enough to withstand it but what if they are not. What are you goin to think when your child kills himself or goes mad?

I mean it's about finding the right balance. You shouldn't be so lax that your kid goes down a shitty path and has horrible values but you can't push them to the breaking point.

deL

Australia5540 Posts

January 09 2011 00:18 GMT

#47

Why not cut the crap and just replace their children with small robots.

Sawajiri

Austria417 Posts

January 09 2011 00:20 GMT

#48

My opinion on parenting is that there is no such thing as "one size fits all."

What might be a good method for one kid won't be for another. One kid might flourish under an "Asian mom" and become highly successful; another may rebel hardcore and do porn by the age of 18 just to stick it to them. One kid may end up a wonderfully creative, well-balanced person under "Western parents," and others may end up as lazy underachievers.

I just find it really hard to generalize when the success of parenting depends so much on a child's individual personality, talents, and interests.

DrivE

United States2554 Posts

January 09 2011 00:20 GMT

#49

If a Chinese child gets a B—which would never happen—there would first be a screaming, hair-tearing explosion. The devastated Chinese mother would then get dozens, maybe hundreds of practice tests and work through them with her child for as long as it takes to get the grade up to an A.

I found this paragraph to be extremely exaggerated.

Nuttyguy

United Kingdom1526 Posts

January 09 2011 00:20 GMT

#50

lol no children would leave no disappointment,
but this is too based on her own family and making it stereotype regardless of the stats used earlier in the article.

Sufficiency

Canada23833 Posts

January 09 2011 00:21 GMT

#51

I think her method is a bit extreme (not letting her child go to the washroom is a bit pushing it, by anyone's standard), but she did have any good points.

The part about having fun only when a certain degree of mastery is achieved really shines, in my opinion.

EDIT:

I think this article is suitable for a western audience, but would gain bad publicity in Asia. I'd also like to point out that the author herself is a graduate of Harvard Law School and a professor of law at Yale - i.e. she is highly intelligent and successful - I assume her children are pretty smart too. Trying this on a very averaged kid and this will bond to fail.

forcestealer

Canada60 Posts

January 09 2011 00:21 GMT

#52

i find it funny how she assumes that being child prodigy at the piano or violin = financial success, an obvious a fallacy judging on the current state of western music -.-she also fails to indicate to what happens when the children leave their parents...

Half

United States2554 Posts

January 09 2011 00:24 GMT

#53

You know, I've always found the large percentage of Asian students in top tier business schools in the states and relatively few asian men and women in a CEO position to be quite odd, on that note.

Food for thought.

Loanshark

China3094 Posts

January 09 2011 00:24 GMT

#54

I think it's a mixture of environment, parenting, and the child himself/herself which actually determines likelihood of kids growing up to become normal, well-balanced, successful people.

On January 09 2011 09:20 Sawajiri wrote:
My opinion on parenting is that there is no such thing as "one size fits all."

What might be a good method for one kid won't be for another. One kid might flourish under an "Asian mom" and become highly successful; another may rebel hardcore and do porn by the age of 18 just to stick it to them. One kid may end up a wonderfully creative, well-balanced person under "Western parents," and others may end up as lazy underachievers.

I just find it really hard to generalize when the success of parenting depends so much on a child's individual personality, talents, and interests.

edit: basically this

You guys can talk all you want about how Chinese kids are not well-balanced or aren't normal, but I think just as many Western kids are depressed/have low self esteem as Chinese kids.

snotboogie

Australia3550 Posts

January 09 2011 00:24 GMT

#55

Not all Chinese mothers are like that.

Also, raising children in this way tends to produce obsessive-compulsive, perfectionistic adults who are prone to depression.

Nuttyguy

United Kingdom1526 Posts

January 09 2011 00:24 GMT

#56

On January 09 2011 09:24 Half wrote:
You know, I've always found the amount of Asian students in top tier business schools in the states and the amount of Asian CEOs to be quite odd, on that note.

is there alot or a little?

Sufficiency

Canada23833 Posts

January 09 2011 00:26 GMT

#57

On January 09 2011 09:21 forcestealer wrote:
i find it funny how she assumes that being child prodigy at the piano or violin = financial success, an obvious a fallacy judging on the current state of western music -.-she also fails to indicate to what happens when the children leave their parents...

She didn't say that. Frankly, I think it's better to spend time on violin than on playing sc2.

Not that I hate sc2, I am just stating what is probably her point of view - make children spend time on music instead of other, perhaps less desirable, activities.

Piy

Scotland3152 Posts

January 09 2011 00:26 GMT

#58

It doesn't work though. You raise children that are good at work but bad at being people, so they just end up miserable. And a large percentage of people raised like this burn out anyway. Like Progamers in Korea and anything with that kind of workload, they start to have trouble sticking to their schedule then eventually burn out in about a decade.

Meh.

semantics

10040 Posts

January 09 2011 00:27 GMT

#59

On January 09 2011 09:03 Jumperer wrote:
most chinese kids are emotionally unstable because they have been abused like a slave when they were younger.

Slave is a bit harsh, children to work the farm is a legitimate 19th century european and american reason to have them. Now just replace farm with family status.

+ Show Spoiler +

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6uo1KD4buY
had to

BasedSwag

Algeria418 Posts

January 09 2011 00:28 GMT

#60

On January 09 2011 09:26 Sufficiency wrote:

Show nested quote +

Except she specifically states that they are only allowed to learn either piano or violin. So she clearly feels that only those two are worthy/capable of making you into a successful (wealthy) person.

I think that above all else if everyone adhered to this method of raising their kids the would would be a fucking boring place.