EPTA Tom Swifty (or Tom Swiftie) is a phrase in which a quoted sentence is linked by a pun to the manner in which it is attributed. Tom Swifties may be considered a type of Wellerism. (qtd from wikipedia)
Essentially, make a play on words with an adverb that links back to the dialogue. The person speaking is typically Tom.
This is my favorite one:
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
If you don't understand, the one above is a Tom Swifty which plays upon Tom, being frank (honest), but also stating he has a split personality (which is reflected in Tom being Frank, another personality).
I love their wit and cleverness, and enjoy thinking of my own. Here are some of my shitty ones:
"I just met that chick, and she's not even a 5 out of 10," said Tom metaphorically.
Post your own favorites or make your own, if they're good I'll add them to the OP! Some ridiculous props if you can make it Starcraft related.
Regular ones:
"We have no oranges," Tom said fruitlessly. (ETT approved!)
Travis: "But I already glued the vase back together", Tom had replied.
sc4k: "These treemen really suck" Tom lamented.
oxidized: "That prostitute snapped and is trying to knife all of us!" Tom said horrendously.
oxidized: "Abstience is the only way to prevent STDs," Tomalina said prudently.
ryuu_: "Tiffany's cute." Tom stated plastically.
Captain Mayhem: "Well that was a half-assed attempt" Tom said with a mulish grin.
NotTheMonker: "Four plus four is eight," Tom added.
DM20: "I support the wheel" Tom spoke.
SC ones:
adelarge: "Where is the OSL winner? I can't find him," Tom said effortlessly.
oxidized: "Sorry, I don't know who you're talking about, Tom whispered lightly.
oxidized: "I am pretty," Tom said freely.
oBlade's "You see, Protoss is the easiest race to defeat," Tom harangued. VERSUS oxidized's "You think you are good vs Protoss, but you'll never be able to beat me," Tom replied callously.
oxidized: "Man, Zealots are imba," Tom respired.
oxidized: "I don't truly enjoy masturbation until it's the fourth time in a given day," Tom said forthcomingly.
jgju: "I may not be the best at ZvZ, but at least I can beat kwanro," Tom said calmly.
adelarge: "I don't recall any of this" Tom said arbitrarily.
THIS ONE IS SO GOOD DM20: "Three sunkens is enough" Tom droned on.
AND IT'S SEQUEL Kau: "I think I can get away with it," Tom expanded.
NotTheMonker: "No way! I was the one who invented the double observatory build!" Tom combatively exclaimed.
NotTheMonker: "I cheated because I needed the money," Tom typed, being honest.
HeavenOnEarth: "I will destroy everyone in 2009" Tom lied, while savoring the glow of his new Rolex.
heyoka: "I'll win a starleague soon," Tom fantasized.
JohnnyB: "Shut up Cerebrate, I have enough Overlords," Tom responds.
Intrigue: "Defending against hellion harass is hopeless." Tom complained spinelessly.
Shameless self promotion: "It breaks my heart that one of my favorite terrans will never play in the pro scene again," said Tom, as he washed in the STX Soul practice house.
ViruX: "My fantasy starcraft team needs a minimum of 1 terran" tom kept in mind.
ViruX: "What would Lecaf Oz do without you!" tom would blurt at anytime.
bumatlarge: "I know whats in that shuttle," Tom revered.
Kau: "I don't want to build additional pylons," Tom sighed.
Kau: "How could I have lost that game? I made queens!" Tom brooded.
Percutio: "I don't care about your heartbreak." Tom said rigidly.
sonuvbob ones:
"I've never map hacked in my life," Tom said Testily.
"Incest should be legal," Tom insisted.
"Seaworld wasn't the same without them," Tom sighed purposelessly.
"That bith is suh a fuking unt," Tom complained ceaselessly.
"People may share where you come from, but on this platform id expect you to get your own car, mac," Tom commanded keenly.
I'll continue to update as long as people keep up the incredible wittiness.
Oh, oxidized is such a witty bastard.
I don't think it is. Time for bed.
