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One-Line Confessions - Page 86

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FabledIntegral
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States9232 Posts
August 12 2010 20:42 GMT
#1701
I once got shitfaced and fucked my prior upstairs neighbor that everyone made fun of for being fat and ugly.
Asdkmoga
Profile Joined May 2010
United States496 Posts
August 12 2010 20:55 GMT
#1702
On August 13 2010 05:04 Chairman Ray wrote:
I am planning something special for my 2000th post

grats btw :D
"Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action and over 600 is clearly the work of an ancient Sumerian demon or some shit."
T3mpus
Profile Joined February 2010
25 Posts
August 12 2010 23:01 GMT
#1703
I play online/live poker for living.
SpicyCrab
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
402 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-08-12 23:45:45
August 12 2010 23:44 GMT
#1704
QuietIdiots story made me remember something I haven't thought about in years.

When I was a kid my family was very very wealthy.

We lived in a giant mansion and we had this portugese housekeeper named Maria. She was a big lady and really sweet.

She used to call me Carlito and would do almost any thing for me. I remember one day specifically where I just kept asking her for more and more cereal. I sat in the living room and ate bowl after bowl of fruity pebbles and she just happily trotted off to get me more.

She was the best housekeeper in the history of the world, she would keep up after all of the kids, and there were a ton of us, and she kept the entire GIGANTIC mansion clean fresh and perfect.

She wasn't able to have children and I think she considered my family to be hers. She loved us like a mother and treated us like she was one; and in many cases she really was because my mother wasn't particularly involved in my childhood.

I have no conception of time, especially from that age, but I think she was with us for years and years.

Eventually her husband became very sick and she had to go back to Portugal to take care of him. I remember it so well, we were sitting up in my brothers room and she was crying, desperately crying because she had to say goodbye to us and she knew that she would probably never see us again.

To her it was like losing her children.

I started laughing, I just thought it was so stupid that she cared about us all so much; she was just the housekeeper after all.

I was just a kid but I still feel extremely guilty about it. I don't remember if she noticed me laughing; but man I hope she didn't.

She really wasn't just a housekeeper, she was like a mother to me. A couple years later our next housekeeper quit. I didn't know or care about her in the same way at all but I cried and cried for days. I think I was really crying for Maria.




I'm such a baller in my dreams. - HiFriend
techn1cal
Profile Joined May 2006
United States68 Posts
August 12 2010 23:46 GMT
#1705
My roommate use to have quarters laying all around his desk, I use to take all of them and buy myself a drink or use it for laundry. Saved myself about $100ish worth of food/laundry for the school year.
IntoTheBush
Profile Joined July 2010
United States552 Posts
August 12 2010 23:51 GMT
#1706
When I was 12 I saw my neighbors mom naked. I vomitted.
SpicyCrab
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
402 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-08-13 01:01:35
August 12 2010 23:53 GMT
#1707
Sorry for the double post but here is another.

When I was a kid I had this teacher named Mr. Raney; he was this tall black guy and he taught English. It must have been first grade. I really respected and looked up to him but I was also an awful kid and never did my homework or any thing.

I invited Mr. Raney to my birthday party and he said he would come.

But he didn't show up.

I was devastated; I went crazy and had a complete nervous breakdown. I was wailing and crying and depressed for days.

When I came in to class next I asked Mr. Raney why he hadn't come to my birthday party like he said he was going to and he told me that he thought I was joking and didn't think I really wanted him there (what little kid wants his teacher to come?)

But I guess I needed somebody to replace my dad since he simply wasn't around at all.

Part 2
_________

Years later I was laying in bed with my college girlfriend and she told me that I was a spoiled rich kid. So I told her the Mr Rainy story to see if I could get her to feel bad.

It worked, she started crying really bad and got really upset "why would you tell me a story like that?"

And I felt good that I had "gotten her back."
I'm such a baller in my dreams. - HiFriend
SpicyCrab
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
402 Posts
August 12 2010 23:54 GMT
#1708
On August 13 2010 08:46 techn1cal wrote:
My roommate use to have quarters laying all around his desk, I use to take all of them and buy myself a drink or use it for laundry. Saved myself about $100ish worth of food/laundry for the school year.


Holy shit are you my roommate from freshman year of college?
I'm such a baller in my dreams. - HiFriend
mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5657 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-08-13 00:04:40
August 13 2010 00:01 GMT
#1709
I think fallout 3 is possibly the worst game of all time
still a virgin, by choice
I'm a very good liar
I want kids but don't wanna get married b/c all women annoy me

Yup
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
MountainDewJunkie
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States10344 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-08-13 00:15:08
August 13 2010 00:11 GMT
#1710
I know I've posted some confessions in here before, but I can't seem to locate my post, even with the search function... I think I posted something about phone sex? Anyway...

My high GPA is actually a reflection of my amazing ability to cram for exams and piss out papers the night before they are due; I can't hold an intelligent conversation with anyone else in my major to save my life. I feel like a big phony

I was raised hardcore LDS, but my best friend is gay and my girlfriend is up to four tattoos.

My family as a whole is really close, but I'm not close with any of my brothers at all.

It only takes three beers to get me drunk + Show Spoiler +
because I'm so skinny ^_^


I fear that if I tell my girlfriend I love her, she will run for the hills.
[21:07] <Shock710> whats wrong with her face [20:50] <dAPhREAk> i beat it the day after it came out | <BLinD-RawR> esports is a giant vagina
jcarlsoniv
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States27922 Posts
August 13 2010 00:24 GMT
#1711
On August 13 2010 09:01 mOnion wrote:
I think fallout 3 is possibly the worst game of all time
still a virgin, by choice
I'm a very good liar
I want kids but don't wanna get married b/c all women annoy me

Yup


How much of your post should we believe? O_o


I actually really enjoy this thread because it sort of humanizes everyone here. It's nice to remember that we're not all the huge, flaming, e-peen flaunting dorks we may show on the exterior.
Soniv ||| Soniv#1962 ||| @jcarlsoniv ||| The Big Golem ||| Join the Glorious Evolution. What's your favorite aminal, a bear? ||| Joe "Don't call me Daniel" "Soniv" "Daniel" Carlsberg LXIX ||| Paging Dr. John Shadow
Bobo_XIII
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
United States429 Posts
August 13 2010 00:26 GMT
#1712
Great posts, SpicyCrab.

Whenever my roommates are out for more than a few days, I systematically clear every room and closet in my apartment with a loaded .40 after coming home from work or going out. Any suspicious sound or me waking up randomly in the middle of the night will trigger me to do this, too. I feel that the one time I don't do it, I'll pay for it with my life from a random asshole who decides to hide out and kill me and rob my apartment
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, and the vermin of the world inhabit it... and its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit, and it goes by the name of Reddit.
OminouS
Profile Joined February 2010
Sweden1343 Posts
August 13 2010 00:34 GMT
#1713
I've been single all my life cuz no woman can ever live up to my standards.
On the 6th day JF made Reavers and on the 7th day JF put his opponent to rest
locodoco
Profile Joined July 2010
Korea (South)1615 Posts
August 13 2010 00:39 GMT
#1714
On August 13 2010 09:34 OminouS wrote:
I've been single all my life cuz i can't ever live up to any women's standards.

i wish riot would give me better ping
Pandain
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States12989 Posts
August 13 2010 00:50 GMT
#1715
I can't pee in a urinal, too shy(and scared) of learning(what if i miss), and have to use public toilets....
Usually I stand because they're just so hideous.

My dark hideous secret.
d(O.o)a
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada5066 Posts
August 13 2010 01:01 GMT
#1716
On August 13 2010 09:50 Pandain wrote:
I can't pee in a urinal, too shy(and scared) of learning(what if i miss), and have to use public toilets....
Usually I stand because they're just so hideous.

My dark hideous secret.


Oh god trust me, if you miss it won't make a lick of difference there are people who do it on purpose.
Hi.
Freezard
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
Sweden1016 Posts
August 13 2010 01:16 GMT
#1717
Talked to a nice girl online, wanted to meet her, she kept on asking when I would come by, but every time she asked and got serious I suddenly got a bad feeling about it so I delayed it, repeat for 10 months.

Now she decided to go for another guy, and I still don't know how I feel about it. I just have to hear the word relationship and I start to feel like a prisoner (not a good feeling).
phoque
Profile Joined April 2010
Sweden39 Posts
August 13 2010 01:22 GMT
#1718
I've always disliked listening to straightforward music, I mostly listen to progressive/technical metal, classical music or fusion jazz. But somehow I've fallen for a couple of KPop groups... And I'm embarresed to share this with my bandmates/friends, luckily I've got TL :p
Darpa
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Canada4413 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-08-13 03:37:49
August 13 2010 03:36 GMT
#1719
On August 13 2010 08:01 T3mpus wrote:
I play online/live poker for living.


Teach me!


as for mine...

Ive wanted to break free from my girlfriend and family "expectations" for years, but I am too scared of the consequences ><
"losers always whine about their best, Winners go home and fuck the prom queen"
TadH
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1846 Posts
August 13 2010 03:44 GMT
#1720
Other peoples misery sustains me.
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