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One-Line Confessions - Page 83

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The_Pacifist
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States540 Posts
August 11 2010 23:46 GMT
#1641
I went out of state to visit some of my old friends, stayed at a friend's house, and slept on the guest bed. Some time through the visit, I realized that I was missing a few articles of clothing, most importantly, a clean and fresh pair of boxers to change into, so my friend loaned me one of his.

That night, I had a wet dream, was enjoying it, and then I realized that I wasn't enjoying it in my own home... nor in my own bed... nor in my own pair of boxers...

Here, I had two options:
A) Confess. And ask for a new pair of boxers for the night.
B) Sneak downstairs, stuff the sticky, stained boxers in the middle of middle of his dirty laundry basket, wash the man goo off my legs in their bathtub, and not wake a soul...

Man, I was so ninja. The dog woke up and followed me around. He didn't wake anyone else up, though.
synapse
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
China13814 Posts
August 11 2010 23:48 GMT
#1642
One of my best friends uses "your" instead of "you're," but I never tell him he's wrong (though I usually do to anyone else), probably because I don't want to start an argument
:)
Anxiety
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States650 Posts
August 12 2010 00:00 GMT
#1643
I started to wonder how many trolls are in this thread.

Cambium
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
United States16368 Posts
August 12 2010 00:13 GMT
#1644
On August 12 2010 09:00 AnxietE wrote:
I started to wonder how many trolls are in this thread.



what do you expect from a thread like this...?
When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
Misanthrope
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States924 Posts
August 12 2010 00:16 GMT
#1645
On August 12 2010 03:29 Yme wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 11 2010 20:19 Misanthrope wrote:
One time in high school I left class to go to the bathroom. I had to poo reeeeaaaally bad. I ran, and right as I pulled down my pants over the toilet, my ass sploded poo everywhere. It got all over my pants and boxers, and I mean all over. The gym class I was in at the time was outside, and my gym teacher kept clothes in his office. I snuck over and stole his shorts. Then I went to the office claiming I had the flu, forcing myself to puke by sticking my finger in my throat when they weren't looking. I ended up going home to avoid the embarrassment of admitting I had to snag my teacher's shorts. I left my pants and boxers by the toilet. Later, the teacher said that whoever stole his shorts was gonna get in trouble for stealing them. I replaced them the next day after school, without washing them. The morning after, he was wearing them. I went totally commando in them.

Twisted, eh?

LOLLOLOLOL One of the best things I've read in this around 80 page thread. Did you tell anyone besides the entire TL that story?


I've never told anyone because I was too embarrassed about shitting myself. It was really all very shame driven, glad you guys enjoyed it though.
Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve. - Benjamin Franklin
Sparkyrabbit
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
29 Posts
August 12 2010 00:36 GMT
#1646
I'm well into college and i've only had 2 girlfriends, one of which I met playing starcraft
lesser_good
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
Canada698 Posts
August 12 2010 00:43 GMT
#1647
the first time i played the sc campaign i used cheats
pew pew
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17922 Posts
August 12 2010 00:45 GMT
#1648
Once when i was young i needed to shit very badly, however i couldnt hold it so i pulled my shorts down and shit in the floor(no one was home)
i felt bad afterwords cause the dog ate it..

does this make me a bad person?
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
Severedevil
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States4839 Posts
August 12 2010 01:07 GMT
#1649
On August 12 2010 08:28 Darpa wrote:
I got Diarreha (Booze pooz) while getting it on, and I just let it flow, she didnt notice until the smell hit her ><. After that I was no longer welcome in her household. hahahaha

Rework this story into a pickup line IMO.
My strategy is to fork people.
Reptilia
Profile Joined June 2010
Chile913 Posts
August 12 2010 01:16 GMT
#1650
in starcraft 1 i only played fastest maps.
and mostly never 1v1, just 2v2 =(
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources
Severedevil
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States4839 Posts
August 12 2010 01:19 GMT
#1651
Mirrors freak me out if it's too dark to see my face in them.

I have to tame them with obscenities and beat a hasty retreat.
My strategy is to fork people.
leviathan20
Profile Joined April 2010
United Kingdom193 Posts
August 12 2010 01:37 GMT
#1652
Last year I slept with my friend's wife while he was out of town.

I know I should feel bad about it but I don't, because it was GREAT.

They separated a month later haha.
"We better get that boy a waffle NOW or he gon' DIE!"
overload119
Profile Joined August 2010
7 Posts
August 12 2010 01:38 GMT
#1653
I only wash my hands after taking a piss 70% of the time.
Kenpachi
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States9908 Posts
August 12 2010 01:38 GMT
#1654
On August 11 2010 11:00 0mgVitaminE wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 11 2010 10:52 Kenpachi wrote:
I cant catch Mewtwo.

I hope you didn't waste your master ball on Articuno.

actually it wasnt me who did it x_x
Nada's body is South Korea's greatest weapon.
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17922 Posts
August 12 2010 01:45 GMT
#1655
On August 12 2010 10:38 overload119 wrote:
I only wash my hands after taking a piss 70% of the time.

im sorry but

thats fucking nasty dude

I wash my hands after i do anything, coming in fromt he outside, walknig to eat, getting up from the comp..
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
Irrelevant
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States2364 Posts
August 12 2010 01:51 GMT
#1656
I used to cut coke with dry wall dust to up my profits.
XsebT
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Denmark2980 Posts
August 12 2010 01:53 GMT
#1657
On August 12 2010 10:45 arb wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 12 2010 10:38 overload119 wrote:
I only wash my hands after taking a piss 70% of the time.

im sorry but

thats fucking nasty dude

I wash my hands after i do anything, coming in fromt he outside, walknig to eat, getting up from the comp..

but...why?
화이팅
Reptilia
Profile Joined June 2010
Chile913 Posts
August 12 2010 01:54 GMT
#1658
i (practically) never wash my hands after shitting /peeing
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources
snotboogie
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Australia3550 Posts
August 12 2010 01:55 GMT
#1659
On August 12 2010 10:37 leviathan20 wrote:
Last year I slept with my friend's wife while he was out of town.

I know I should feel bad about it but I don't, because it was GREAT.

They separated a month later haha.


You're scum. I don't care if I get banned for this, but you're scum.
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17922 Posts
August 12 2010 01:56 GMT
#1660
On August 12 2010 10:53 XsebT wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 12 2010 10:45 arb wrote:
On August 12 2010 10:38 overload119 wrote:
I only wash my hands after taking a piss 70% of the time.

im sorry but

thats fucking nasty dude

I wash my hands after i do anything, coming in fromt he outside, walknig to eat, getting up from the comp..

but...why?

Thats unsanitary and disgusting

duh?
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
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