One-Line Confessions - Page 21

The only reason why I got into video games was because I played with a girl all the time when I was 5 to 7 years old. She didn't have a mother around, my parents constantly fought, and her brother was constantly out being an asshole teenager. So we'd sneak into his room, turn on his snes, play killer instinct, yoshi's island, and sometimes the regular NES mario games. She'd be a bitch and try to ride me like a Yoshi whenever I walked into a room in the house, and when we were outside we'd lose track of time looking for coins that never were, or simply mindlessly losing ourselves in the mini forest next to the complex.

I got my first kiss from her, got a nasty cold running in the rain with her on Halloween, climbed a tree about 10 feet high with her help, and we'd make silly little promises, like when the N64 came out and the rumor was that Yoshi was at the end of mario64, I spent a long time beating it to get up on the roof and show it to her. She was rather disappointed we couldn't ride it, so she erased my hard work and I just watched her play it all over again.

Then towards the end of the summer one year, she came crying to my porch, told me she was moving away, how she wanted to stay right here, how badly she liked Korean food over her father's terrible 5 minute microwave meals, how awesome it would be to graduate together, but the whole time through I had half my attention on my gameboy..playing tetris.

She got pissed, went back home, tossed most of her games on the porch, and told me I could have it all since it didn't mean anything to her anymore.

I didn't feel sad or shit at all, in fact I was so fucking excited I got all these games I thought I won the jackpot. Last words I said was, "BYE, So long! I'll see you tomorrow" while she had both her hands on her face as she ran back home.

I headed over to her house at the end of the week to return them and since I was such a selfish sociopathic little shit I didn't even bother visiting her once while I played her games at home. The apartment was empty but unlocked, and I just walked up the stairs, sat on the floor where we used to play, feeling rather numb.

I played games like mad from there on, hoping one day I'd impress her by beating all of them and thought of it was only something temporary, but of course that day never came, and an obsession grew to play as much video games as possible. My parents didn't understand it, they just thought with their Asian logic that games were simply a mental addiction and they tried to get me off it. I would be hostile about it, never told them a reason why, I just did.

I only realized this after looking back on some photos a few months ago with me and her smiling on the porch, and it just made me tear thinking about all those endless days with her.

It makes me feel terribly guilty and I wonder where she is now and how she handled it. Its so pathetic, but it bothers me every so often, especially today when I walked around a park and saw a blond girl with an Asian boy, playing tag around the swings. Fuckfuckfuck