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Active: 2218 users

Dutch girl commits suicide over ''Banga-List" - Page 5

Forum Index > Closed
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Blaming a 13 year old girl for her own suicide on the basis that she's a "slut" is NOT acceptable.
FlamingForce
Profile Joined September 2011
Netherlands701 Posts
March 29 2012 11:23 GMT
#81
13 year olds having to put up with crap like this is just downright depressing..
Antyee
Profile Joined May 2011
Hungary1011 Posts
March 29 2012 11:25 GMT
#82
On March 29 2012 20:20 Geen wrote:
The banga-list part of this story is very likely to be a hoax. (Not the suicide) Also banga is derived from the marrocan language, not really dutch.


Or simply bang-a-<random word describing a female>.
At least this seems the msot logical to me.
"My spoon is too big."
Dali.
Profile Joined June 2010
New Zealand689 Posts
March 29 2012 11:27 GMT
#83
On March 29 2012 20:19 nymfaw wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 29 2012 20:06 Dali. wrote:
On March 29 2012 19:54 nymfaw wrote:
what to say? survival of the fittest. maybe her parents were bad, idk, but just killing yourself is pretty weak imo. I guess 13 is the age where girls are probably at their weakest mentally though...


Survival of the fittest huh, so you're fine with me beating you up and taking all your stuff because I have a natural advatage?

A thirteen year old actually considered, pre-meditated and enacted her own death. This is serverely troubling.

Maybe you should dwell on some of the shallow compassion which you seemed to exhibit in the 2nd half of your post. Maybe some people (especially 13 year olds) don't have the same clarity about the future or control over their emotions as an adult. Maybe these kinds of people require our help not our condemntation.


Kids have gone through things that are much worse than what she did and still made it through. Of course she needed help, because she was weak. It's actually pretty rare for a 13 year old to commit suicide.


What I find regunant about your assessment is that you consider her 'weak', as though she is to blame. She was a kid. Her frame of reference was a barely adolesant mind, one obviously cramed with social 'expectation' and the maintainance of 'status'.

Maybe you aren't placing the blame on her, but it sure seems like you are. And I find that kind of sentiment disgusting.
Rannasha
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Netherlands2398 Posts
March 29 2012 11:27 GMT
#84
On March 29 2012 20:25 Antyee wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 29 2012 20:20 Geen wrote:
The banga-list part of this story is very likely to be a hoax. (Not the suicide) Also banga is derived from the marrocan language, not really dutch.


Or simply bang-a-<random word describing a female>.
At least this seems the msot logical to me.


A lot of Dutch slang is strongly influenced by immingrant cultures. Like Geen posted, banga comes from Maroccan, which is a large immigrant culture in the Netherlands.
Such flammable little insects!
pirates
Profile Joined October 2010
United States701 Posts
March 29 2012 11:29 GMT
#85
really sad story, i wish this could have been prevented in some way. a 13 year old girls emotions are so powerful, if only she had some sort of guidance to help her control them.
Roybs
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Netherlands500 Posts
March 29 2012 11:37 GMT
#86
one word, LOL.

Don't take me wrong, but I think this girl just wanted the attention (13 years old, tweeting stuff about love stuff, got 23k tweets (lolwtf) with stuff like "I tried but it wasn't enough" and such). It's completely normal that guys talk about who's a slut in schools (yes I encounter this a lot of times in my school).

I think this girl overreacted, and she is 13. Come on man, when I was 13 i was playing outside and I didn't even got interested in gossips.

User was warned for this post
Kikiwoelmuis <3
CaptainCrush
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States785 Posts
March 29 2012 11:37 GMT
#87
On March 29 2012 20:23 FlamingForce wrote:
13 year olds having to put up with crap like this is just downright depressing..


Is it though? I saw crap like this all the time in middle/ high school. I don't really see the depressing nature of that and I dare say that it was an isolated incident in the netherlands or any other place in the world.

I think the real problem here is a parenting fail. Obviously she was taught far more inferior ways to deal with her problems instead of just brushing it off and calling the kid who wrote it a loser or a moron. That's what is really depressing.
aTnClouD
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Italy2428 Posts
March 29 2012 11:38 GMT
#88
The real problem here is that sex for women is still seen as something to give very carefully to the right person. We don't need this anymore since birth control is not an issue. It's a primitive, outdated defense for something technology solved already and the result is teenagers being torn apart by the rational feeling they are doing nothing wrong when they do it and having done something terribly wrong whenever they are pointed as sluts by society. There's no one to blame here other than the remains of a primitive social shield to prevent women from having children with random people.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/hunter692007/kruemelmonsteryn0.gif
snailz
Profile Joined April 2011
Croatia900 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-03-29 11:43:41
March 29 2012 11:41 GMT
#89
On March 29 2012 20:18 whiterabbit wrote:
I am so out of this planet. When I was 12-13 I can tell for sure no one in my year had sex. 14+ some, but 12-13... no one that I know and I knew pretty much every guy in my year (4 class-rooms).

What the fuck happened? Or this matter is so different from country to country.


a million times this.

who the hell has sex before 14+

and even then, it's not like 95% of teens is sexually active, more like a loud semi-minority (kids that have sex so they can say to their friends they had it, not because they need it and/or are ready for it)

i blame bad parenting, and state of mind in today's society where children (yes, children) don't actually understand consequences of sex in full, yet engage in it so bloody young. no wonder every generation gets worse, when we have relationships/marriages where couples are simply not ready for adult life or having children, yet they force it on themselves.
"I am saying that there are 300 current pros and semi-pros that have the potential to come in and dominate SC2 at any moment, with a latency of a few months from the day they switch." - intrigue
Xcobidoo
Profile Joined June 2011
Sweden1871 Posts
March 29 2012 11:41 GMT
#90
If this was the only thing that happened and not continuous bullying or something of that nature, this is someone who had major problems. "Normal", stable people will not kill themselves for something like that. Also if you have lots of sex when you're 13, not just once or twice? That also signals that something is not exactly right.
This feels a bit like Columbine and Doom/Music thingy. The Banga-list didn't make her kill herself but it was the straw that broke the camel's back, with unstable people you never know what might trigger a reaction of this magnitude.
Supreme Intergalactic Commander
Synapze
Profile Joined September 2010
Canada563 Posts
March 29 2012 11:41 GMT
#91
Often girls who are really insecure and "slutty" have underlying issues. Sad that she killed herself, but I don't think the list was the cause. I hope they don't punish the kids too much, they're probably already pretty traumatized.
Yuri Victoria LMJ ~♥
Synapze
Profile Joined September 2010
Canada563 Posts
March 29 2012 11:44 GMT
#92
On March 29 2012 20:38 aTnClouD wrote:
The real problem here is that sex for women is still seen as something to give very carefully to the right person. We don't need this anymore since birth control is not an issue. It's a primitive, outdated defense for something technology solved already and the result is teenagers being torn apart by the rational feeling they are doing nothing wrong when they do it and having done something terribly wrong whenever they are pointed as sluts by society. There's no one to blame here other than the remains of a primitive social shield to prevent women from having children with random people.


Read your post and agreed completely. Saw your name afterwards: Mind = Blown!
Yuri Victoria LMJ ~♥
woreyour
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
582 Posts
March 29 2012 11:46 GMT
#93
WAT!?

Someone can just put any name of a girl he/she knows in a "slut" list even if she ain't a slut?
What the hell was she thinking? She commited suicide because of that?? it's just down right stupid..

Not like she was admitting she was a slut then or she was busted a slut, but still it aint sane to be a reason for suicide.

I am begining to think that news about commiting suicide and all from like bullying and whatever adds up as a fad and these young teenagers think it's cool to be doing suicide. Not to mention emo post all over the net spreading like adverts involving cut bloody wrist horseshit and etc. I think they all add up to stupid teenager's perspective of being cool.
I am so sexy.. I sometimes romance myself..
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45221 Posts
March 29 2012 11:48 GMT
#94
On March 29 2012 20:38 aTnClouD wrote:
The real problem here is that sex for women is still seen as something to give very carefully to the right person. We don't need this anymore since birth control is not an issue. It's a primitive, outdated defense for something technology solved already and the result is teenagers being torn apart by the rational feeling they are doing nothing wrong when they do it and having done something terribly wrong whenever they are pointed as sluts by society. There's no one to blame here other than the remains of a primitive social shield to prevent women from having children with random people.


Oh my god I thought you were serious for a second lol. Well played.

Anyways, on topic: I don't understand the reasons for putting such a young girl on a slut list (maybe she puts out? maybe she's just really attractive?) but any form of bullying is, unfortunately, occasionally going to lead to dire consequences of this magnitude. In school, image is everything, and being labeled as a slut and having your reputation as a good person completely tarnished and trashed by some idiot guys must be appalling. It's surely worse as a girl than a guy when it comes to self-image and being objectified.

When I was 13, if I were to create a slut list, the names Misty, Nurse Joy, and Officer Jenny would have appeared on that list. Not real girls though, because hoooly shit that's early to actually be engaging in sexual relationships x.x
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Alpino
Profile Joined June 2011
Brazil4390 Posts
March 29 2012 11:48 GMT
#95
On March 29 2012 20:38 aTnClouD wrote:
The real problem here is that sex for women is still seen as something to give very carefully to the right person. We don't need this anymore since birth control is not an issue. It's a primitive, outdated defense for something technology solved already and the result is teenagers being torn apart by the rational feeling they are doing nothing wrong when they do it and having done something terribly wrong whenever they are pointed as sluts by society. There's no one to blame here other than the remains of a primitive social shield to prevent women from having children with random people.


Smart in the game and out of it it seems (: .
20/11/2015 - never forget EE's Ember
T0fuuu
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Australia2275 Posts
March 29 2012 11:49 GMT
#96
On March 29 2012 20:25 Antyee wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 29 2012 20:20 Geen wrote:
The banga-list part of this story is very likely to be a hoax. (Not the suicide) Also banga is derived from the marrocan language, not really dutch.


Or simply bang-a-<random word describing a female>.
At least this seems the msot logical to me.


or banger as in gangbanger or something. Who knows. Anyways this is just bullying gone to the extreme. Kids dont know when to stop until its too late.
snailz
Profile Joined April 2011
Croatia900 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-03-29 11:51:26
March 29 2012 11:49 GMT
#97
On March 29 2012 20:38 aTnClouD wrote:
The real problem here is that sex for women is still seen as something to give very carefully to the right person. We don't need this anymore since birth control is not an issue. It's a primitive, outdated defense for something technology solved already and the result is conflit in mind when teenagers doing nothing wrong when they have sex and having done something terribly wrong whenever they are pointed as sluts by society. There's no one to blame here other than the remains of a primitive social shield to prevent women from having children with random people.


i underlined a problem

women having sex without social stigma =/= teenage girls having sex without social stigma

we're talking 13 year old girl here. for women, yes, it is truly "remains of primitive social shield", but for little girls it's a nother thing completely.

edit: was that a troll? O.o
"I am saying that there are 300 current pros and semi-pros that have the potential to come in and dominate SC2 at any moment, with a latency of a few months from the day they switch." - intrigue
zalz
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Netherlands3704 Posts
March 29 2012 11:51 GMT
#98
The real problem is the medieval mindset that most people still have about sex.

I was kind of hoping that since we are living in 2012, not 1012, that we might have moved past the moronic obsession with virginity and chastity.

Women are not property who's value decreases the more time they touch a dick.
aTnClouD
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Italy2428 Posts
March 29 2012 11:52 GMT
#99
On March 29 2012 20:49 snailz wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 29 2012 20:38 aTnClouD wrote:
The real problem here is that sex for women is still seen as something to give very carefully to the right person. We don't need this anymore since birth control is not an issue. It's a primitive, outdated defense for something technology solved already and the result is conflit in mind when teenagers doing nothing wrong when they have sex and having done something terribly wrong whenever they are pointed as sluts by society. There's no one to blame here other than the remains of a primitive social shield to prevent women from having children with random people.


i underlined a problem

women having sex without social stigma =/= teenage girls having sex without social stigma

we're talking 13 year old girl here. for women, yes, it is truly "remains of primitive social shield", but for little girls it's a nother thing completely.

You can't draw a line for everybody to decide when they become adult and responsible. A 13 years old girl can be way more wise and informed than a 80 years old woman. The young generations right now have so much informations about sex and are so open about it that I don't really see the issue in a 13 years old girl having sex.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/hunter692007/kruemelmonsteryn0.gif
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45221 Posts
March 29 2012 11:52 GMT
#100
On March 29 2012 20:51 zalz wrote:
The real problem is the medieval mindset that most people still have about sex.

I was kind of hoping that since we are living in 2012, not 1012, that we might have moved past the moronic obsession with virginity and chastity.

Women are not property who's value decreases the more time they touch a dick.


I think (adult) women engaging in sexual relationships and 13 year old little girls engaging (or even being accused of engaging) in sexual relationships are entirely different.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
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