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Blaming a 13 year old girl for her own suicide on the basis that she's a "slut" is NOT acceptable. |
On March 29 2012 21:04 hokuspokus wrote:
So funny how allegedly grown-ups judge the "decisions" of a 13 year old. Yuy guys are barely over 20 and already have lost the slightest idea of how it is to be a kid.
It's clear that most of these comments come from guys who grew up as socially rejected nerds who didn't have to worry about being "cool" as a teenager because it was hopeless anyway.
Sickens me to the bone.
You sir, or ma'am, have just proven how underdeveloped your brain is, and how much of a sick f*ck you are.
You have apperently not read the post on this thread, because all i see is people commenting on that the suicide act was overkill(no pun intended), and it was! some guys think that you are easy to get to sleep with and so what if i may ask? How many people inthe world do you know, that do not want to have sex?
Also on your second note. Being "cool" or not have nothing to do with the situation. Let's say she actually was somewhat of an idol in her school, then why would she even care about some idiots who write such an useless list? If you can't handle that there exist a bunch of douschebags in this world, then you are waaay too sheltered for your own good, as atlleast 30% of the human population is douschebags, and you will have to work together with them later when you get a job.
Also, being cool in a highschool does exactly what for you? I don't know from which outdated society you came from, but here
In Denmark, we don't socially catagorise people like being "cool" or a "loser" and so on. We border us self off of with our friends from the rest of our class, but remain on firendly terms with all of our classmates. We just don't socially interact with them outside school.
User was warned for this post
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Most of these replies don't understand how fragile developing people can be. Kids take stuff seriously that they won't take as seriously when they've reached a more mature part of their life. Sad story, though.
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Teenage girl going through puberty, emotions out of control unpredictable, ends up killing herself because she's ashamed that people think she is a slut and put her on a public list. Honestly, its a sad story, but nothing shocking, people have killed themselves over less, we'll never understand why she did this.
And earlier I saw someone say suicide isn't selfish, I couldn't disagree with you more, suicide takes your problems and puts them on someone else's plate, whilst also creating problems.
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So sad, they need to start teaching basic morality in schools; with the internet, the license to be a cunt and a douchebag has increased, and with it the effects it can have on people have intensified, just have classes in school that don't just warn kids of the internet but teach them how not to be a cunt on it.
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Like Evilteletubby said, I'm pretty sure these lists are catalysts, but not the cause of suicide. Being called a slut isn't bad enough to make people commit suicide, unless they are extremely sensitive.
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noone but the partents are to blame. In fact, they should face trial.
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Sad story especially at 13.
Still I feel it might be the proof (for the lack of a better word) of a wider phenomenon occuring in GB and NL. I am living in the middle of Paris and most of the international students are living nearby (Cité Internationale). What I noticed is that a certain type of clothing habits can be linked strongly to either UK or NL female students : short skirts or robes, high heels, revealing tops all year long - sometimes a treat for the eyes, sometimes a walking buoy. Some might it called that "slutty" or "whorish", I personally find it bad tasted.
Now you could argue that this observation is not an official study and it's purely based on my own vision of the international student crowd. Both facts are true, nonetheless I think there is an undeniable link (real or not) between what needy boys (whose sexuality is awakening) perceived as a "slut" girl and her outfits. And as we all look upon our elders to provide models, it becomes a problem has consequences in the harsh and unforgiving social system that is teenage groups. I don't know enough about this topic to elaborate possible causes for that but it's certainly a topic worth debating on.
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On March 29 2012 19:26 Forbidden17 wrote:
Guys keep a list of girls who are sluts and share them amongst each other? Is this a Netherlands thing?
There was a similar story to this in Norway a couple of months ago, the kids in question where older though (16,17), nobody committed suicide though. Hell, even me and my friends made such a list when we were in high school o.O
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I'm keeping an eye on this thread now. Please keep the discussion civil and respectful. Blaming a 13 year old girl for her suicide on the basis that she's a "slut" is not acceptable.
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I don't think we should look into this too much.
I highly doubt you can blame those lists for it, rather just the general state of mind this girl had.
For the vast majority such lists would be considered as something light-hearted and too laugh about.
As harsh as it's gonna sound but if commiting suicide even crosses your mind when ur on such a list there is/was probably someting wrong with her mentally.
edit:
Off course I think it's very sad, but I don't think this is something that could actually become a problem.
Rather just a single incident, from a child going through puberty that was mentally unstable.
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It's not even clear if there was an actual list at this point. Its all rumors and knowing our police more info will not be forthcoming due to the victims privacy (and that of her family). As it should be, this is a private tragedy.
That said, guys have been making lists of women they would like to sleep with for ages. Didn't start with the internet or with the evil social media. High school is still like the breakfast club.
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People who commit suicide have usually serious depressions.
The parents should have gone to a clinic much much earlyer.
Its sad that a kid of 13 gets anti-depressives but no other solution around usually.
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Experience a similar stage during my teenage years. Guys on the similar-esque lists hailed like kings, the girls sadly were utterly shamed. Although I must say it was probably 'easier' (probably over generalization, but it certainly felt that way) being a girl, as there were many other horrifying lists for guys with rankings from basic factors such as penis size, money to more disturbing and very specific extremes.
A young girl actually did too suicide for similar reasons, which in my opinion was very selfish of her to do so. The real victim would be her loved ones and people adversely affected by the situtation. Later the girl's ex got blamed for incident, outcasted and later tried to suicide himself, surprising enough. Although he failed and lives in a braindead state ever since.
Kids, these days...
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the saddest part is that no one around her helped her...
that list is crap anyway, never heard of it before and I can't really see how that list is definately the 'cause' of her suicide.
there must be other reasons as well
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United Arab Emirates1141 Posts
TL:DR pp2-7.
From reading page 1 of comments, I am appalled. ***EDIT: I have just read some other posts from pages 2-7. I am still appalled. Girls-who-post-on-TL: how would you feel if the people whom you slept with put you on a banga list? ***
1. There is no genuine sympathy for the girl, for such a terrible incident.
2. There were no expressions of "This is wrong" from any poster. What are we? Are we emotionless animals who have no empathy, sympathy or mercy in us? Where did our compassion go?
3. let me ask you guys this question: What if your daughter was on the "banga list"?
Now don't give me the "My daughter wouldn't be, because I will educate her well and she wouldn't leave her door downstairs open."
Well, from what I've seen in the comments, most of you think having sex when you are young is alright, as long as you feel like it, as long as it's consensual and as long as "you're both having fun."
Right. So you're so going to teach your daughter how to choose the right sexual partners. You're going to teach your daughter that sex is cool, as long as you have safe sex, as long as it's fun and have it with men who they feel good with. So don't use this "Her parents should be ashamed / responsible" type of excuse. Because even if you teach her all of this, she may still have sex with many men. And some of these men will make these banga lists. And your daugher may be on it.
So once again: "What if your daughter was on the banga list and was terribly depressed from it?"
Let me describe to you in no uncertain terms: This is like having all of your family and friends, all of your social circles, all peoples who you are potentially going to meet, to know that you paid for a prostitute, only for her to reject you because you are too ugly. Now imagine if that kind of story was known to ALL of your immediate social circles. Shame? You bet. And this was simply a parallel for men, a weak one at that.
And being on a "banga list" is 10x worse. I cannot find an equally shameful example for males.
Once again: "What if your daughter was on the banga list?"
What would you do, as a dad? How would you feel? Would you be making comments such as
On March 29 2012 19:28 Type|NarutO wrote:
Suicide is a selfish act and never solution of problems, but rather source for problems and suffering of other people. It was her choice and I respect that, but I don't feel sorry nor do I think are the boys that put her on such a list guilty. ?
Ofcourse suicide is a selfish act. It hurts everybody. But it provided a solution - a closure to her problems. A very terrible solution. How could we not attribute the boys action to this terrible ending for this young girl? How would you feel if you were the father of this girl? How would you feel towards the boys who did this?
What about the parents of the boys who do these lists? Should they be ashamed? Or are they also just like your average internet-citizen who thinks sex is just something to throw around, to do with whomever you like? No consequences?
I rest my case. I am not morally superior. I am the worst of sinners. I am a broken man, highly susceptible to lust, broken by sin and sorrowed by the sin of this world. But Jesus is my hope. Repent, believe in Jesus, that you may be forgiven. Judgement is surely coming and I rest my hope in God the Son who died and rose again to eternal life.
************ I won't reply to this thread, send me PM's if you want to chat. I wrote my first post in a long time as my sense of justice warred against the ungodliness from the comments.
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This is not an individual problem, we have guys going on a rampage because they get bullied in school, and girls committing suicide because they get bullied. The last thread about a school shooting is merely one month old. And there was a joint suicide of 3 girls that never even met before here in germany last summer.
And the bullies don't care, they think it's fun to put someone else in misery, and they are not going to stop. Society needs to find a way to deal with it, because some people (teens) can't. What's the advice to someone who's getting bullied? Live with it? Some people literally can't. If they talk to someone about it, they just get bullied again for being a snitch, so how does someone escape from that situation? Bullying is a serious problem, especially for teens, and many suffer from it, some more than others. But it's a widespread problem, and only through stories like this the public gets to know how desperate the situation can get.
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United Arab Emirates1141 Posts
On March 29 2012 22:22 Alvin853 wrote:
This is not an individual problem, we have guys going on a rampage because they get bullied in school, and girls committing suicide because they get bullied. The last thread about a school shooting is merely one month old. And there was a joint suicide of 3 girls that never even met before here in germany last summer.
And the bullies don't care, they think it's fun to put someone else in misery, and they are not going to stop. Society needs to find a way to deal with it, because some people (teens) can't. What's the advice to someone who's getting bullied? Live with it? Some people literally can't. If they talk to someone about it, they just get bullied again for being a snitch, so how does someone escape from that situation? Bullying is a serious problem, especially for teens, and many suffer from it, some more than others. But it's a widespread problem, and only through stories like this the public gets to know how desperate the situation can get.
Truly. Finally a decent post. Suicide doesn't "just happen". It usually happens when bad stuff has gone on for a long time and the person is hopeless. It takes a lot of suicidal ideation and planning, possibly several failures, before a person can succeed. Now, why does bad stuff happen? Because men are evil. What should be done about evil? Well you tell me 
Bullies, verbally, socially, physically, over the internet, and whatever kind of bully you can find under the sun - how should they be dealt with? For me, I have certainty that justice will be dealt with. For "Vengeance is Mine" says the LORD.
But what about this girl? Or the countless people who live in fear, in shame and in helplessness?
Rape is another blight on broken mankind which we still deal with very poorly both socially, educationally and judicially.
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On March 29 2012 22:20 JesusOurSaviour wrote:TL:DR pp2-7. From reading page 1 of comments, I am appalled. ***EDIT: I have just read some other posts from pages 2-7. I am still appalled. Girls-who-post-on-TL: how would you feel if the people whom you slept with put you on a banga list? *** 1. There is no genuine sympathy for the girl, for such a terrible incident. 2. There were no expressions of "This is wrong" from any poster. What are we? Are we emotionless animals who have no empathy, sympathy or mercy in us? Where did our compassion go? 3. let me ask you guys this question: What if your daughter was on the "banga list"? Now don't give me the "My daughter wouldn't be, because I will educate her well and she wouldn't leave her door downstairs open." Well, from what I've seen in the comments, most of you think having sex when you are young is alright, as long as you feel like it, as long as it's consensual and as long as "you're both having fun."Right. So you're so going to teach your daughter how to choose the right sexual partners. You're going to teach your daughter that sex is cool, as long as you have safe sex, as long as it's fun and have it with men who they feel good with. So don't use this "Her parents should be ashamed / responsible" type of excuse. Because even if you teach her all of this, she may still have sex with many men. And some of these men will make these banga lists. And your daugher may be on it. So once again: "What if your daughter was on the banga list and was terribly depressed from it?" Let me describe to you in no uncertain terms: This is like having all of your family and friends, all of your social circles, all peoples who you are potentially going to meet, to know that you paid for a prostitute, only for her to reject you because you are too ugly. Now imagine if that kind of story was known to ALL of your immediate social circles. Shame? You bet. And this was simply a parallel for men, a weak one at that. And being on a "banga list" is 10x worse. I cannot find an equally shameful example for males. Once again: "What if your daughter was on the banga list?" What would you do, as a dad? How would you feel? Would you be making comments such as Show nested quote +On March 29 2012 19:28 Type|NarutO wrote:
Suicide is a selfish act and never solution of problems, but rather source for problems and suffering of other people. It was her choice and I respect that, but I don't feel sorry nor do I think are the boys that put her on such a list guilty. ? Ofcourse suicide is a selfish act. It hurts everybody. But it provided a solution - a closure to her problems. A very terrible solution. How could we not attribute the boys action to this terrible ending for this young girl? How would you feel if you were the father of this girl? How would you feel towards the boys who did this? What about the parents of the boys who do these lists? Should they be ashamed? Or are they also just like your average internet-citizen who thinks sex is just something to throw around, to do with whomever you like? No consequences? I rest my case. I am not morally superior. I am the worst of sinners. I am a broken man, highly susceptible to lust, broken by sin and sorrowed by the sin of this world. But Jesus is my hope. Repent, believe in Jesus, that you may be forgiven. Judgement is surely coming and I rest my hope in God the Son who died and rose again to eternal life.
************ I won't reply to this thread, send me PM's if you want to chat. I wrote my first post in a long time as my sense of justice warred against the ungodliness from the comments.
There has been exactly 0 evidence pointing towards there actually being a banga-list. Both the school and the police don't confirm it, it's just the media.
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How can someone be a "slut" at age 13? They should be barely old enough to have sex at all, biologically
Or she was called a slut cuz she kissed many boys or what? im a bit confused here
Also yes, no one event makes you kill yourself, I studied a bit the psychology research regarding the issue and mostly events to which the act is linked are only the catalyst so to say or the last drop in the glass. This could be an exception, but i wouldnt be surprised if it turns out she had some childhood trauma or something.
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On March 29 2012 22:32 Geo.Rion wrote:
How can someone be a "slut" at age 13? They should be barely old enough to have sex at all, biologically
Or she was called a slut cuz she kissed many boys or what? im a bit confused here
In some countries, legal marriage age is/was 12.
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EPT
