EPTDutch girl commits suicide over ''Banga-List" - Page 8
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Blaming a 13 year old girl for her own suicide on the basis that she's a "slut" is NOT acceptable. | ||
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Ra.Xor.2
United States1784 Posts
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Black and Proud
49 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + ![[image loading]](http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/entertainment/att/site1/20070329/xin_5703042917090082584337.jpg) Leaving a twelve page letter to daughter's idol Andy Lau, Yang Qingji ended his 68 years long life in Hong Kong on March 26 after his daughter attends an activity with her idol Andy Lau. Yang's daughter Yang Lijuan is a 28-year-old girl from northwestern China's Gansu province. After the first time she dreamed of Andy 13 years ago, she became a huge fan of him. Since then, she quitted school and spent all the time thinking of her idol. All she wants is to meet Andy Lau and tell him how she loves him. To support daughter's dream, Yang Qingji and his wife spent up every penny of their savings. They sold the only house they had in Lanzhou City. Yang even decided to sell one of his kidneys to a local hospital, but he was refused because it's illegal. However, they never had chance to meet or talk to Andy. Several days ago, the family entered Hong Kong for the third time. With the help of Andy's fans club, Yang Lijuan finally had an opportunity to attend Andy's birthday activity with hundreds of his fans on March 25. To her disappointment, she only got few minutes to take picture with Andy instead of having a conversation with him. Her life long dream did not come true. Being unacceptable to this result, Yang Qingji wrote a letter blaming Andy's coldness to his daughter and drowned himself in despair after daughter and wife fell in sleep. In his letter, he thought it was Andy's responsibility to arrange a private meet with his daughter, even for five minutes. Yang Lijuan and her mother were in deep sorrow after Yang's death. Yang Lijuan showed her regret of loving Andy Lau for so many years to reporters. But she still insisted that Andy should meet her again, otherwise her father's death was meaningless. She took Andy as the root cause of her father's death. Although critics think the deficiency of courage to face the reality after fulfilling years' dream is the real reason of the tragedy. Andy Lau responds through his agency on March 28 that he has fulfilled Miss Yang's hope of meeting on the birthday activity. Feeling astonished and disappointed, he hopes Miss Yang can go back to hometown and start her own life. He refuses to meet her any more. Leaving father's dead body in Hong Kong, Yang Lijuan and her mother went back to Lanzhou on March 28 without .making it clear what to do next. | ||
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Azelja
Japan762 Posts
Blaming a 13 year old girl for her own suicide on the basis that she's a "slut" is NOT acceptable. The fact that this had be put up front saddens me almost as much as the topic itself... | ||
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Derez
Netherlands6068 Posts
On March 29 2012 22:22 Alvin853 wrote: This is not an individual problem, we have guys going on a rampage because they get bullied in school, and girls committing suicide because they get bullied. The last thread about a school shooting is merely one month old. And there was a joint suicide of 3 girls that never even met before here in germany last summer. And the bullies don't care, they think it's fun to put someone else in misery, and they are not going to stop. Society needs to find a way to deal with it, because some people (teens) can't. What's the advice to someone who's getting bullied? Live with it? Some people literally can't. If they talk to someone about it, they just get bullied again for being a snitch, so how does someone escape from that situation? Bullying is a serious problem, especially for teens, and many suffer from it, some more than others. But it's a widespread problem, and only through stories like this the public gets to know how desperate the situation can get. I read the dutch news, which I'm assuming most people here can't, and I have no idea what actually happened. All we know is that a girl killed herself and the rest is just rumours. I don't see the need to make a tragic suicide immediately into a bullying problem. This topic shouldn't even be open. There's nothing to discuss on the basis of the OP. | ||
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colate
Norway121 Posts
On March 29 2012 20:57 -Archangel- wrote: Lol, I am a liberal. And a father. My girl is not near 13 yet but if she turns out like this I will consider it first of all my fault then then the fault of society or others. Parents job is to teach their kids how to survive this stuff. All parents had similar experiences (either been popular or unpopular) and they MUST be able to teach their kids how to survive this easier. I dislike your emphasis on survival. Childhood isn't about survival, it's about laying the pavement for your future. Even if, and I'll use your words, they'll "survive" this, they might be mentally scarred for life. They might have social anxiety as a result. Even their life quality might decrease because they are taught just to survive this. And you are a father. You should have a different mentality. Parents shouldn't teach their kid to survive this, they should prevent them for being put in that situation in the first place. You should focus more on being active in the community, trying to get bullying occur less in and outside of school. Shit, even tell the schools to have presentation about bullies. | ||
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Frail
Iceland336 Posts
Underlying issues must have had something to do with this as well. But people taking their own life, at only 13 is a very sad thing  | ||
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Gingerninja
United Kingdom1339 Posts
1) She did, 2) Straight up bullying 3) The boys thought she looked easy.. 4) She turned one of them down and this was "revenge" 5) Boys saying they did for "cred" Multiple reasons, probably more. I'm pretty sure every boy at that age with their friends played yes/no with girls they knew, passed in the street etc (not that if the chance came to it, you'd have any idea what you were doing anyway) The difference was, it wasn't written down and then posted on social networking sites for the world to see. Which is probably what caused this, it's different if that boy in your class who's a bit of a dickhead thinks you're a slut, to everyone in the school / local area thinking you are. | ||
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Geo.Rion
7377 Posts
On March 29 2012 22:35 Dandel Ion wrote: In some countries, legal marriage age is/was 12. I also know cases when girls under 10 are married, not my point, i'm speaking being old enough biologically to have sex long enough to be considered a slut for it, On March 29 2012 22:39 Gingerninja wrote: I'm pretty sure every boy at that age with their friends played yes/no with girls they knew, passed in the street etc (not that if the chance came to it, you'd have any idea what you were doing anyway) The difference was, it wasn't written down and then posted on social networking sites for the world to see. Which is probably what caused this, it's different if that boy in your class who's a bit of a dickhead thinks you're a slut, to everyone in the school / local area thinking you are. yes, i was thinking something along those lines, it just doesnt seem plausible to be a slut, in the full meaning of the word, at age 13 | ||
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khaydarin9
Australia423 Posts
The making of the list was likely a small factor in the grand scheme of things. The sex, if there was any, is almost irrelevant. The real damage would have probably come from the social repercussions from being put on that list, and I think that any culture that creates and condones that behaviour needs a close examination. | ||
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BillClinton
232 Posts
Anybody coming to conclusions with these information here can only reflect his own expiriences, keep that in mind. | ||
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Deleuze
United Kingdom2102 Posts
Does anyone here speak Dutch and are they willing to do a better job? Also, does anyone know whether Mediakranten is a reliable Dutch website/source? I have edited the trans to make the English readable and have guessed the sense – therefore I would advise a Dutch-English translation by someone fluent in both languages to really get a reliable sense of the article but I have tried my best and have added notes below: In Pijnacker last night a 13-year-old girl committed suicide possibly due to a banga list. On the Internet and social media [there are] rumours that the girl has deprived himself of life because her name would appear on a "banga" list. Police in the southern Dutch village have confirmed the suicide, but would not comment. [The girl on the banga list was called Livia], she was found badly injured last night in a forest along the Old Klapwijkseweg Pijnacker. She was in critical condition [and was] transported by a trauma helicopter to the hospital, but later [died] of her injuries. A banga list is a new phenomenon among young people. "Banga" means slut in slang. Pupils send each other lists by a top 10 girls which they are the biggest sluts. Girls in such a list because a lot of bales [?], because often they have no reason given and it is difficult to get rid of the stigma. Mr. Zuiderwijk, branch director of the College Stanislas in Pijnacker, where the girl was at school, speaks of a 'sad mood' at school today: "I'm going to get our students to absorb them the news. And a list banga I know nothing. I think it is a twitter message, but what doorgetwitterd [?] is endless. Our first concern is the students, and of course the protection and support of the parents of the girl. " Zuiderwijk never [saw] a banga list at his school. "But you understand that if one would be that they really do not show to the director." Girls [are] scared [of] banga lists more and more, girls are afraid of the so-called 'banga list, a list with the names of the biggest sluts, prepared and sent by students. Banga means slut in slang. Sometimes there is the name of the girl or they are easy to decorate, and whether they naakfoto [naked photo?] of herself forward. Girls do not want on the list because it is difficult from the list and the label 'slut' to come. In addition, girls are often unprovoked banga on such list. Pretty thin on evidence, but the trans may have obscured it. What does seem the case is that the Director down plays the role of the banga list in her suicide and indeed a banga list and it’s motivation in her suicide are called ‘Internet and social media rumours.’ The only thing confirmed by police is the girl’s suicide. IMO the media and the internet (and this thread) have jumped on the most sensational aspect of the story – the unfounded rumours that she was on a banga list and therefore actually sexually active. I know nothing about the school or village and little about Dutch culture. This may be big news in NL but I do not have access to NL national news sites for obvious reasons – any concrete sources of these would be of benefit to this thread and translations would be welcome. | ||
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QuothTheRaven
United States5524 Posts
On March 29 2012 20:38 aTnClouD wrote: The real problem here is that sex for women is still seen as something to give very carefully to the right person. We don't need this anymore since birth control is not an issue. It's a primitive, outdated defense for something technology solved already and the result is teenagers being torn apart by the rational feeling they are doing nothing wrong when they do it and having done something terribly wrong whenever they are pointed as sluts by society. There's no one to blame here other than the remains of a primitive social shield to prevent women from having children with random people. Couldn't have said it better myself. | ||
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Chargelot
2275 Posts
On March 29 2012 22:42 Geo.Rion wrote: I also know cases when girls under 10 are married, not my point, i'm speaking being old enough biologically to have sex long enough to be considered a slut for it, yes, i was thinking something along those lines, it just doesnt seem plausible to be a slut, in the full meaning of the word, at age 13 Females can go through puberty as early as 8, 9 isn't that rare. Biologically speaking, by 13, it's possible. But I doubt 13 year old boys have a good grasp on the word "slut". I'm sure a girl who has done anything, of any sort, is a slut to them. | ||
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raf3776
United States1904 Posts
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Falan
Germany91 Posts
On March 29 2012 22:20 JesusOurSaviour wrote: ... Ist that guy serious or just a troll? Anyway, hypocritical prudery like this is was makes 'incidents' like the one described in the OP such a big problem... It's the same way of thinking that makes some religious fanatics in Islamic Countries stone women for ''adultery'' or ultraorthodox jews spit a women basically for walking in the streets... I'm disgusted. Even if it was troll. Cause some people are serious about stuf like that... Obviously 13 year old girls shouldn't be f*cking around but it's really no ones business except their own's and their parents ones. And people probably didn't even know if she did. And shouldn't know aswell... | ||
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h41fgod
Sweden377 Posts
On March 29 2012 21:54 Haemonculus wrote: I'm keeping an eye on this thread now. Please keep the discussion civil and respectful. Blaming a 13 year old girl for her suicide on the basis that she's a "slut" is not acceptable. Thank you. | ||
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ozzy1346
United States38 Posts
User was banned for this post. | ||
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eXeElNino
Wales51 Posts
Some of the main things you should teach children is respect. Obviously this isnt the case and probably isnt the cause, but has certainly helped in making someone take their own life. Children are learning about sex at younger ages that what im sure most of us learned about it, but the parents need to step in and say what is right and what is wrong about it. | ||
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Cel.erity
United States4890 Posts
It's bad for kids to call girls sluts and bully them about it in school? Obviously. It's sad that the girl committed suicide? Obviously. Kids are kids, I only really feel appalled in one of these cases if an adult knew and did nothing to intervene. In this case, I see no evidence of that, so I have to say it's just one of many tragic things that occurs in the world each day. I can assure you that in 99% of schools, if such a list is found there will be severe punishments for whoever made it. Bullying in general is a problem, but we don't even know the extent to which this girl was teased, or if she had mental problems, or chemical imbalances, or was the victim of abuse, or anything. TLDR: Sucks. The end? | ||
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sc2superfan101
3583 Posts
On March 29 2012 22:47 Falan wrote: Anyway, hypocritical prudery like this is was makes 'incidents' like the one described in the OP such a big problem... i disagree, i think a lackadaisical attitude about sex as long as it's "safe" is what causes such problems in the first place. of course the girl could easily have been suffering from other issues, and probably was, and as was said earlier, this was more likely a catalyst than a cause. basically, kids are getting mixed messages here, society tells them to go ahead and have all the sex they want, and then looks down on them when they do it. i think both attitudes are equally bad and unhealthy. edit: poor kid, i hope she's at peace now. feel really bad for her parents and friends, and most of all for her. 13 is too young for something like this. | ||
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