EPTHow many queens does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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1 but you gotta do it every 40 seconds.
How many motherships does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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2, or in other words it's impossible.
How many __ does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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darmousseh
United States3437 Posts
How many queens does it take to screw in a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + How many motherships does it take to screw in a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + | ||
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Lexpar
1813 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + Just two, but don't ask me how they got in there. | ||
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Amber[LighT]
United States5078 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + ~24 -One to make the OP on lightbulbs -One to argue whether to use a regular lightbulb or an eco-friendly lightbulb -One to make a theory on how to screw in a light bulb -One to argue said theory and make an abrupt conclusion about how light bulbs are a republican scheme to make money -One to argue about how Dustin Browder wants to revolutionize the lightbulb by creating one to do a specific task and to balance the brightness later -15 to get banned by mods for flaming/trolling -4 mods, one to close the thread, two others to post in the thread while it's locked mocking the discussion, and the fourth to re-open the thread because he wants to learn more about republicans reference thread: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=130349¤tpage=14 | ||
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Slayer91
Ireland23335 Posts
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SichuanPanda
Canada1542 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + 100. 1 to hold the light bulb, 1 to turn that person's swivel chair, and 98 to make troll posts about light bulbs. | ||
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Helium
59 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + Just Juan | ||
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FirstBorn
Romania3955 Posts
On June 11 2010 02:55 Amber[LighT] wrote: How many TL members does it take to screw in a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + ~24 -One to make the OP on lightbulbs -One to argue whether to use a regular lightbulb or an eco-friendly lightbulb -One to make a theory on how to screw in a light bulb -One to argue said theory and make an abrupt conclusion about how light bulbs are a republican scheme to make money -One to argue about how Dustin Browder wants to revolutionize the lightbulb by creating one to do a specific task and to balance the brightness later -15 to get banned by mods for flaming/trolling -4 mods, one to close the thread, two others to post in the thread while it's locked mocking the discussion, and the fourth to re-open the thread because he wants to learn more about republicans haha I remember this one | ||
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IceCube
Croatia1403 Posts
On June 11 2010 03:05 sybris wrote: How many Mexicans does it take to screw a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + Just Juan I lol'd. Nice one.  | ||
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LunarDestiny
United States4177 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + ![[image loading]](http://maddok.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/archon.jpg) | ||
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404.Delirium
United States1190 Posts
On December 16 2003 04:39 sux2bme wrote: How many Teamliquid.net forumers does it take to to screw in a light bulb? 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs 53 to flame the spell checkers 41 to correct spelling/grammar flames 6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive 2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp" 15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct 156 to email the moderators complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy" 109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum 111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum 306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty 27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs 14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's 12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ 44 to ask what is a "FAQ" 4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?" 143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs" 1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again | ||
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Rigel of Cyrosea
Canada66 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + 2. One to screw it in and one to say "I could've done it better." How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? + Show Spoiler + Fish. | ||
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Metronome
United States98 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + None. That is a hardware problem. | ||
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Pika Chu
Romania2510 Posts
On June 11 2010 03:07 LunarDestiny wrote: How many templars does it take to screw a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + I believe that's an archon. Heh, yeah i remember the original one for TL.net, very funny :D. | ||
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OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
On June 11 2010 03:05 sybris wrote: How many Mexicans does it take to screw a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + Just Juan Good one  | ||
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darmousseh
United States3437 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + No clue, but we require more minerals (min-eee-ralls) | ||
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rredtooth
5461 Posts
On June 11 2010 03:30 Pika Chu wrote: <3 romaniaI believe that's an archon. Heh, yeah i remember the original one for TL.net, very funny :D. | ||
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myrmidon2537
Philippines2188 Posts
On June 11 2010 03:05 sybris wrote: How many Mexicans does it take to screw a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + Just Juan I lol'd in real life, I will now steal your joke and tell my friends. Pretty old one, there are rotten tomatoes by the right of the stage >_< How many Psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + Just one, but the light bulb must really want to be changed | ||
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hejakev
Sweden518 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + With twists + Show Spoiler + Except the lightbulb was actually aliens | ||
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bITt.mAN
Switzerland3693 Posts
On June 11 2010 03:22 Metronome wrote: How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? + Show Spoiler + None. That is a hardware problem. None, all they need to do is type "ppp" [wait, or was it "pp" ?] and have Kespa make a bad decision about what to do about it. | ||
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AdunToridas
Germany380 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + 100. One is screwing, 99 are clicking away the error messages. | ||
flamewheel
FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
On June 11 2010 03:37 hejakev wrote: How does M Night Shyamalan screw in a lightbulb? + Show Spoiler + With twists + Show Spoiler + Except the lightbulb was actually aliens Aha this one made me chuckle. | ||
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funk100
United Kingdom172 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + nobody knows but they sure screwed the gulf of mexico over | ||
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DeathByMonkeys
United States742 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + It's a pretty obscure number, you've probably never heard of it. | ||
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gdroxor
United States639 Posts
On June 11 2010 03:56 DeathByMonkeys wrote: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + It's a pretty obscure number, you've probably never heard of it. Haha, yes! How many teenagers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? + Show Spoiler + Two, but it has to be a really big lightbulb. | ||
Hyde
Australia14568 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + Just one, but it takes 6 episodes. | ||
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Salv
Canada3083 Posts
On June 11 2010 04:00 Hyde wrote: How many DBZ characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? + Show Spoiler + Just one, but it takes 6 episodes. Haha, very nice! Reminds me of Frieza Saga. | ||
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[NyC]HoBbes
United States803 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + 1, but he has to go through a box of 10 light bulbs to find a good one. How many Bassists does it take to screw in a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + 1, 5, 1, 5, 1, 5 How many Drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + We have machines for that kind of thing | ||
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darmousseh
United States3437 Posts
On June 11 2010 04:00 Hyde wrote: How many DBZ characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? + Show Spoiler + Just one, but it takes 6 episodes. Definitely my favorite so far. | ||
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Feefee
Canada556 Posts
Damn, my guess was "over 9000"... | ||
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ArvickHero
10387 Posts
On June 11 2010 03:38 bITt.mAN wrote: None, all they need to do is type "ppp" [wait, or was it "pp" ?] and have Kespa make a bad decision about what to do about it. Programmers not progamers.. | ||
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Terranist
United States2496 Posts
just one but it will take three years before he begins beta testing his light bulb then another 6 months until he finally turns it on. | ||
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drag_
England425 Posts
Yeah I was thinking that too, was so ready to congratulate myself. Although the punch line was pretty funny. | ||
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hejakev
Sweden518 Posts
On June 11 2010 04:22 Terranist wrote: How many Blizzard developers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? + Show Spoiler + just one but it will take three years before he begins beta testing his light bulb then another 6 months until he finally turns it on. Hahah My favorite so far! Do you REALLY want light bulbs?? | ||
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[NyC]HoBbes
United States803 Posts
On June 11 2010 04:39 hejakev wrote: Hahah My favorite so far! Do you REALLY want light bulbs?? We'll give you something SIMILAR to light bulbs, but we can't give you any light bulbs because light bulbs attract pirates | ||
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darmousseh
United States3437 Posts
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darmousseh
United States3437 Posts
On June 11 2010 04:41 [NyC]HoBbes wrote: We'll give you something SIMILAR to light bulbs, but we can't give you any light bulbs because light bulbs attract pirates Well, if we've done our job right in terms of the matchmaking service, then hopefully they won't feel like they'll need light bulbs. | ||
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GreEny K
Germany7312 Posts
Lol, hilarious. | ||
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crimsn
Korea (North)44 Posts
On June 11 2010 02:55 Amber[LighT] wrote: How many TL members does it take to screw in a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + ~24 -One to make the OP on lightbulbs -One to argue whether to use a regular lightbulb or an eco-friendly lightbulb -One to make a theory on how to screw in a light bulb -One to argue said theory and make an abrupt conclusion about how light bulbs are a republican scheme to make money -One to argue about how Dustin Browder wants to revolutionize the lightbulb by creating one to do a specific task and to balance the brightness later -15 to get banned by mods for flaming/trolling -4 mods, one to close the thread, two others to post in the thread while it's locked mocking the discussion, and the fourth to re-open the thread because he wants to learn more about republicans 25 actually. You forgot someone to make a useless post relating the topic to problems with the community. | ||
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Atticus.axl
United States456 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + One to screw it in, and seven others to "Pick it up!Pick it up!Pick it up!Pick it up!Pick it up!Pick it up!Pick it up!" | ||
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CharlieMurphy
United States22895 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + Thousands, because Confucious say; "many hands make light work". | ||
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Pika Chu
Romania2510 Posts
On June 11 2010 03:35 redtooth wrote: <3 romania Ah snap, not agaaaaaain  . | ||
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CharlieMurphy
United States22895 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + 7. Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is burnt out, to which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead. Scotty, after checking around, notices that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he can't see in the dark to tend to his engines. Kirk must make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, and 3 red shirt security officers beam down. The 3 security officers are promptly killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured. Meanwhile, back in orbit, Scotty notices a Klingon ship approaching and must warp out of orbit to escape detection. Bones cures the native king who is suffering from the flu, and as a reward the landing party is set free and given all of the light bulbs they can carry. Scotty cripples the Klingon ship and warps back to the planet just in time to beam up Kirk et. al. The new bulb is inserted, and the Enterprise continues with its five year mission. | ||
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Lexpar
1813 Posts
On June 11 2010 03:30 Pika Chu wrote: I believe that's an archon. Heh, yeah i remember the original one for TL.net, very funny :D. Lol Romania! | ||
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exeexe
Denmark937 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + just one but since Michael Jackson just died, that had to be covered first | ||
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tarpman
Canada719 Posts
On June 11 2010 04:02 [NyC]HoBbes wrote: How many Saxophonists does it take to screw in a light bulb? (If anyone gets this I'll be pleasantly surprised) + Show Spoiler + 1, but he has to go through a box of 10 light bulbs to find a good one. hahaha. saxophonists are a stereotype that way I know, but last year I worked for a while with one who absolutely exemplified it. he carried at least 3 or 4 boxes of reeds with him and spent the majority of his warmup time (sometimes as long as 10-15 minutes) looking for a good one only to go through the same procedure again on the break. | ||
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CursOr
United States6335 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + User was Temp Banned for this Post. | ||
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eLiE
Canada1039 Posts
EDIT: I'll give this a shot How many tall people does it take to change a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + Two. One to hit his head on a working bulb, and the other to laugh at him and screw a new one in. | ||
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AdamBanks
Canada996 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + 3, one to hold the light bulb, and two to spin him | ||
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ilj.psa
Peru3081 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + none, hel'll only promise change | ||
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[NyC]HoBbes
United States803 Posts
On June 11 2010 05:39 tarpman wrote: hahaha. saxophonists are a stereotype that way I know, but last year I worked for a while with one who absolutely exemplified it. he carried at least 3 or 4 boxes of reeds with him and spent the majority of his warmup time (sometimes as long as 10-15 minutes) looking for a good one only to go through the same procedure again on the break. Someone understands it! yay. Reeds are honestly the most annoying fucking thing ever though, they're between $20 and $50 for a box of 10 with one good product in the entire box. | ||
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pyr0ma5ta
United States458 Posts
On June 11 2010 05:49 cursor wrote: How many Mods does it take to screw in a Lighbulb? + Show Spoiler + User was Temp Banned for this Post. bahahahaha. Also, the Mexican one. DBZ one should have been "over 9000" obv. | ||
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ilj.psa
Peru3081 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + 2, 1 to screw the in the light bulb, and 1 to uselessly add facebook integration to it. | ||
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[NyC]HoBbes
United States803 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + That's not funny. | ||
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sleeepy
Canada777 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + 20. 1 to hold the light bulb and 19 to drink until the room spins. | ||
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EntertainMe
864 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + You wanna bet? How many Saviors does it take to screw in a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + 2, Savior to hold the lightbulb and Fbh to spin around Savior. | ||
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synapse
China13814 Posts
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hellokitty[hk]
United States1309 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + 1 to fail at it. 13 to criticize his micro. 24 to criticize his macro. 8 to tell him to read the strategy forum rules. 39 to demand a replay. 35 to tell him to memorize his builds and do them over and over. 74 to link him to liquipedia. 26 to not know what they're talking about but post anyway. 9 telling him to cheese instead. 5 to go off on a bragging tangent about how the cheesed a Korean. 2 to watch the replay and give sound advice. How many SC2 players does it take to screw in a light-bulb? + Show Spoiler + Just one. How many believers does it take to screw in a light-bulb? + Show Spoiler + YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT I CAN'T | ||
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Piy
Scotland3152 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + Just one, but he gets 2 course credits for it | ||
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XsebT
Denmark2980 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + Do you really want lightbulbs? How many kespa referees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? + Show Spoiler + They will never get the job done, but they still send two to screw the Flash | ||
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CharlieMurphy
United States22895 Posts
On June 11 2010 05:55 ilj.psa wrote: How many Barack obama's does it take to screw a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + none, hel'll only promise change I think the joke is supposed to be; How many Barack obama's does it take to change a light bulb? | ||
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Purind
Canada3562 Posts
Good thing the joke turned out to actually be funny | ||
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ilj.psa
Peru3081 Posts
On June 11 2010 06:53 CharlieMurphy wrote: I think the joke is supposed to be; How many Barack obama's does it take to change a light bulb? if i had said that , the joke would had been predictable. | ||
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hejakev
Sweden518 Posts
On June 11 2010 06:49 XsebT wrote: How many blizzard employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? + Show Spoiler + Do you really want lightbulbs? I feel robbed | ||
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Kezzer
United States1268 Posts
On June 11 2010 06:58 ilj.psa wrote: if i had said that , the joke would had been predictable. Yeah, but its a matter of being predictable or bad. | ||
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uNiGNoRe
Germany1115 Posts
On June 11 2010 07:18 BDF92 wrote: Yeah, but its a matter of being predictable or bad. "over 9000" would have been both... | ||
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101TFP
420 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + It doesn't matter, they will die before they get there. How many blizzard employees does it take to screw up light bulb 2.0 ? + Show Spoiler + 4600 | ||
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SirGlinG
Sweden933 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + Many tanks? Yes? | ||
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Soulish
Canada1403 Posts
On June 11 2010 03:30 Pika Chu wrote: I believe that's an archon. Heh, yeah i remember the original one for TL.net, very funny :D. so he means 2 templars :o | ||
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Bibbit
Canada5377 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + One, you racist. | ||
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ilj.psa
Peru3081 Posts
On June 11 2010 07:18 BDF92 wrote: Yeah, but its a matter of being predictable or bad. wasn't my joke, it would not have been any better if you put "change" in there either. | ||
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eNoq
Netherlands502 Posts
On June 11 2010 07:40 101TFP wrote: How many Ultralisks does it take to screw in a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + It doesn't matter, they will die before they get there. WINNER | ||
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brain_
United States812 Posts
On June 11 2010 04:41 [NyC]HoBbes wrote: We'll give you something SIMILAR to light bulbs, but we can't give you any light bulbs because light bulbs attract pirates ROFL. | ||
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Zeke50100
United States2220 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + Just 1, but Flash and Jaedong have to play an MSL Finals match first. | ||
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wizard944
194 Posts
On June 11 2010 04:02 [NyC]HoBbes wrote: How many Saxophonists does it take to screw in a light bulb? (If anyone gets this I'll be pleasantly surprised) + Show Spoiler + 1, but he has to go through a box of 10 light bulbs to find a good one. How many Bassists does it take to screw in a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + 1, 5, 1, 5, 1, 5 How many Drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + We have machines for that kind of thing I get those ones! I love music jokes! How do you keep two flutes in tune? You kill one! | ||
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[NyC]HoBbes
United States803 Posts
On June 11 2010 09:34 wizard944 wrote: I get those ones! I love music jokes! How do you keep two flutes in tune? You kill one! How can you tell when there's a singer at your door? + Show Spoiler + she doesn't know when to come in | ||
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minus_human
4784 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + None, because you need to replace your entire house with a newer, shinier, more expensive one. | ||
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Wr3k
Canada2533 Posts
On June 11 2010 02:55 Amber[LighT] wrote: How many TL members does it take to screw in a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + ~24 -One to make the OP on lightbulbs -One to argue whether to use a regular lightbulb or an eco-friendly lightbulb -One to make a theory on how to screw in a light bulb -One to argue said theory and make an abrupt conclusion about how light bulbs are a republican scheme to make money -One to argue about how Dustin Browder wants to revolutionize the lightbulb by creating one to do a specific task and to balance the brightness later -15 to get banned by mods for flaming/trolling -4 mods, one to close the thread, two others to post in the thread while it's locked mocking the discussion, and the fourth to re-open the thread because he wants to learn more about republicans We have a winner. | ||
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SilentCrono
United States1420 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + One, but it'll take at least six episodes. | ||
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[NyC]HoBbes
United States803 Posts
On June 11 2010 11:00 hp.Methos wrote: How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? + Show Spoiler + One, but it'll take at least six episodes. This was posted like 2 pages ago | ||
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keNNabis
Canada159 Posts
On June 11 2010 05:53 AdamBanks wrote: How many Newfie's does it take to screw in a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + 3, one to hold the light bulb, and two to spin him and i thought i heard alot of newfie jokes | ||
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Zealotdriver
United States1557 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + One if your sentries use force fields to keep the light bulb from running away. | ||
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Zeke50100
United States2220 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + 1 to promise it in future patches 1 to ask if we really want light bulbs 18 to negotiate IP with KeSPA 3 to set up a contract with GOM 1 to remove local wiring and instead hook it up to a central generator 1,000 miles away 1 to connect all the wires from every light bulb together 1 to talk about how the light bulbs will bring the community together 3 to split the different parts of the light bulb 3 to separate light bulbs by region 275 to beta test the switch 6 to add a delay time to the switch after the beta testing was unsatisfactory 9 to integrate it with Facebook 4 to realize the lack of wattage, then to glue wires together to fix it Dustin Browder to sit there and smile Cookies for getting every metaphor | ||
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flamewheel
FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
On June 11 2010 05:49 cursor wrote: How many Mods does it take to screw in a Lighbulb? + Show Spoiler + User was Temp Banned for this Post. Ahaha I like this one. Don't let it become a reality! | ||
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darmousseh
United States3437 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + If you know, then you are already dead. | ||
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SilverSkyLark
Philippines8437 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + none, they'd rather sit in the dark | ||
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darmousseh
United States3437 Posts
On June 11 2010 14:43 SilverSkyLark wrote: How many emo's does it take to screw a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + none, they'd rather sit in the dark Emo jokes make me smile | ||
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tarpman
Canada719 Posts
On June 11 2010 09:38 [NyC]HoBbes wrote: How can you tell when there's a singer at your door? + Show Spoiler + she doesn't know when to come in How do you know when there's a drummer at your door? + Show Spoiler + the knock speeds up | ||
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Nao
Poland166 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + Three: Bisu to hold position the bulb, Jaedong to screw the bulb in, Flash to notice it's not the bulb but power outage. | ||
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Qkumber
Canada9 Posts
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StanfordJanitor
United States12 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + Let's go to the park! | ||
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shaddie
1 Post
+ Show Spoiler + One, but 2000 others have to be writing him Service Packs | ||
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Nemes1s
United States2 Posts
How many Saviors does it take to screw in a light bulb? + Show Spoiler + You wanna bet? This is awesome | ||
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Tourist
Germany55 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + 2, one to hold the bulb, the other to drink vodka till the room spins | ||
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endy
Switzerland8970 Posts
On June 11 2010 04:22 Terranist wrote: How many Blizzard developers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? + Show Spoiler + just one but it will take three years before he begins beta testing his light bulb then another 6 months until he finally turns it on. And then realize it's blown :| | ||
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