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Whoa, this started out as a reply to another thread, but I recently realized that the fights me and my dad have been having has been spiraling out of control, just today we had a huge fight, which we wont mention again tomorrow, didnt work out, and will pretend never happened. I turned 22 on thursday, and I'm looking at moving out soon, which I claim, and really feel has nothing to do with us fighting all the time. But I really need to know if its just me being a jerk, or if my dad is just an asshole.
I forgot some laundry in the washer, and my dad came down and said he had to wash some shirts, so I had to empty the washer, now I'm in the middle of a starcraft game, and I tell him: "I cant do it right now"
Now here I could take 2 roads, I usually say I'll do it later, which gives me a lecture on why I shouldnt be playing games etc...
But this time, mostly because I was frustrated because the game wasnt going so well, I followed it up with "Why dont you do it yourself?"
Boy I shouldnt have done that. It started (in the middle of a frantic muta-defense with already few marines) a heated monologue on why I was ingrateful (he pointed out the fact that there was reason enough alone in the fact that I just got $130 from him yesterday when we celebrated my birthday), never did anything around the house, that I couldnt even pick up my own dirt, and that I was a complete moron to even ask him to empty the washer himself so he could wash his shirts. (The washer was full with clean, but wet, towels).
He said he needed the shirts himself, and that it was of UTMOST importance that they were clean tomorrow. After the game was over (you try microing marines against lurkers while your dad shouts at you at the same time) we kept discussing the matter, and I became more and more infuriated. Eventually I asked him why he thought I had to empty it, and he couldnt do it himself, especially if I was busy and it was such a hurry.
The answer?
"I didn't put them in the washer, I shouldnt have to empty it".
I felt this was ridiculous, I mean how old is he? It's the excuse you use when you're a small child (for EVERYTHING, I didn't do it, I didn't play with that toy, I didn't X the Y, therefor Z isn't my job.
I asked him, so: If I see towels in the washer, I shouldnt take them out, put them in the dryer and then put clothes of my own in the washer, just because I didn't put the towels in the washer? And how far does this extend, I no longer have to clear the whole table, because I didnt eat off of that plate? I dont have to take the cola that my little brother drank for dinner and put it in the fridge because I didnt take it out? I dont have to mow the lawn because I dont walk on it? I dont have to take the... well you get the picture.
He starts ranting about how at work, its alot better because everyone knows their responsibilities and yada yada, I cut him off and ask him to answer me, yes or no, I'f I need to wash some shirts for tomorrow, and I come home and find the washer filled with washed towels, do I call you and tell you to race home from work and empty the washer so I can wash my clothes? He tells me I'm not getting a yes or no answer and he walks away.
It's now 2 AM, I'm going to bed in a while, he's asleep, I didnt empty the washer, mostly because I wanted to point out how stupid his argument was, but also because I was angry. He didn't do it himself, despite needing clean shirts for work tomorrow.
Like I stated in the beginning, I'm not moving out because I dont want to fight with my dad, I'm moving out because I want to take care of myself, and most importantly, not have an hour commute to school. But I cant help think that not having a fight like this 3 or 4 times a week would really help the relationship between me and my father.
So what do you think guys, am I an ass, is he an ass, and how should I proceed?
tl;dr: Protoss is easymode to play.
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As a highly combative person, yes, it does become much easier to have a relationship with your parents when you don't live with them.
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lol if he didn't care about his shirt in the end I doubt he really needed them :O
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Come on man...he's your father.
Who gives a shit if his argument is wrong, show some deference and empty the bin.
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I think it's pretty lame of your dad to not do it himself, but yea, you should be the one to do it regardless.
Especially because he's your father.
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Sanya12364 Posts
You might want to empty that washer. Wet towels get nasty after a while.
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Osaka27154 Posts
I think if I came home, asked my son to finish the laundry that he had started and was instead told to "do it yourself" I would have hulk crushed that fucking computer.
You sound like a 12 year old in a 22 year old body.
tl;dr go away.
"I didn't put them in the washer, I shouldnt have to empty it".
I felt this was ridiculous, I mean how old is he? It's the excuse you use when you're a small child (for EVERYTHING, I didn't do it, I didn't play with that toy, I didn't X the Y, therefor Z isn't my job.
Welcome to real life, where you actually have to complete jobs, just not leave your shit laying around for others to do.
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You are an ass. Disrespecting the people who provided you for your whole life because of a StarCraft game is terrible.
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I've been in this situation while I was living at home, these small things annoy the shit out of you in the end, and you should move out asap. now to answer your question:
You're both asses but still have valid points. Your father is trying to teach you how life works when you'll get your own first apartment. If you run over your washingtime with even a minut you can be guaranteed that your laundry will be in a heap outside the door, wet or dry. Also imagine going around for 22 years picking up after somebody. I'd be sick before my kid even turned 12.
You have a valid point in that he most likely wasted more time and energy to walk to your room and take a huge fight about it, then to just take it out himself.
What people in general needs to learn is to see things from other peoples perspective!
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Learn to multitask, ie: argue with your parents and micro and macro at the same time.
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is awesome32277 Posts
i liked the tl;dr
I think your dad is correct.
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/agree
But i'm presuming you've been living off your parents like me your entire life so a loss on iccup isn't as important as helping out your parents who just came home from work.
The best answer to satisfy yourself and your dad would have been to ask him to give you the shirts and keep them on your lap till the end of the game and then put them in the wash and sort out the towels. It would take you all of 2 minutes after a game. Its not a big deal if you think about it in the terms that eventually you will move out and only have to deal with your parents while visiting/short periods of time and say the games lost of time lost to satisfy them would be an investment in your happiness as you wouldn't get any stress from them.
It can sort of be seen as giving-in but I prefer to see it as choosing the path of least resistance.
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An iccup game is that important to you? You better be A+ on iccup before that becomes anywhere near you getting up and emptying the washing machine.
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Canada5652 Posts
i don't get it
if it were anyone but your family, they'd just take your towels and toss them out and leave them in a heap on the dirty laundry floor so you have to waste coins and detergent (nevermind time) washing them again
you should've alt QQd your game and went to take the clothes out. honestly who the fuck cares about a computer game. failing that your dad should've went and unplugged the router or whatever in your their house -__-
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its funny how i when i read this i think you're wrong but i realize i would have done the same thing when im playing. Fml.
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On November 02 2009 10:59 fanatacist wrote:
You are an ass. Disrespecting the people who provided you for your whole life because of a StarCraft game is terrible.
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This post made me realize that i was an ass when i was a kid.
i'm better now though!
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I wouldn't go as far as to call you an ass. But you did handle the situation poorly. Had you handled it in a different manner, this wouldn't have ever happened. Though, when I'm pressured (such as playing a game in a tense situation) I tend to try to say whatever to get the person talking to me away. Then after the game I'll be grateful to do whatever. So I have said things like that before, not intending to. I'm assuming this is what you did? Anyways, small things like this blow over. It will be much easier when you're on your own, relationship wise.
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Your dad was in the right but I guess the way he approached it was lame with the slip into the "you do nothing" argument and being in that combative mode from the start. But yea, go empty that bin and clean his shirts. That could help things a bit and its just nice.
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EPT
