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Hey,
So I have no idea how you will react upon receiving this message. 50% of me thinks you'll simply discard it after reading without taking a second look and the other 50% tells me the opposite. It's been a long time since we last spoke, going on two years now. I hope you've been well.
I think it's safe to say we were both shocked when we saw each other the other day. It seems that both of us were too nervous to actually make the first move and say hello. However I did catch you looking at me about 10 times in the 2 minutes I saw you. It went both ways though I suppose.
I'm kinda winging this, I don't really know what it is that I'm trying to say or what I'm trying to accomplish by writing you this. All I know is that is ever since I saw you I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. It seems odd (maybe wrong? odd seems off) that we spent almost half of our lives together, lived together, loved each other, did everything together and then it was abruptly ended so harshly and with such hatred. I'm not trying to talk about what happened at all I'm just saying that I guess we both made mistakes that led us to the path we currently reside on.
Maybe I'm trying to say that I would like to see you if just to catch up, maybe not. I don't know if it's possible to be "just friends" with you after everything we've been through.
I heard you still hangout with my cousins every so often, they tell me you're doing good and that you just got your BA. Congratulations! I'm sure you worked immensely hard on it. I'm proud of you (however I always knew you would accomplish your goals).
I really don't know what else to say with this, just...
It FELT really good seeing you. Hopefully you felt the same.
I'll never know.
A Brief Explanation
I took my motorcycle out the other day for a ride and saw my ex-fiance at starbucks, it was the most heart wrenching and awkward 2 minutes of my life, we kept looking at each other. In my opinion begging with our eyes to get the other person to approach and say hello.
We had been together for a very long time, off and on for about 7 years. Eventually she moved in with me. Later we had to have a slightly long distance relationship (about 2-3hours apart) because of her acceptance into UC Davis.
We worked on it for a long time but we both had our issues which doesn't need to be talked about.
To make a long story very short, I had found out that she had been slightly unfaithful. Upon my finding out (she told me) I went slightly insane and pursued my own unfaithful acts; for revenge if nothing else. I felt guilty about what I had done (as did she) so I told her. We got into an argument one day, she hung up on me and that was the last time I ever heard from her.
We haven't spoken to each other or seen each other in two years.
I still love her deep down, I'm sure she feels the same. It doesn't just go away. It's not my place to message her, I feel that if we are to ever speak again or become friends it has to be her decision.
EDIT:
THE LETTER HAS BEEN SENT AS OF ABOUT 1 MINUTE AGO
Re-Update: After I sent the letter via email I got a response almost instantly (about 3 minutes later). It was a little awkward at first but after about 40 minutes of back and forth emails, we added each other on facebook and moved to over to that portal.
It was...really nice...
We kinda talked about everything, like whats been going on with our lives, our families, our friends, news, and of course our relationship and what exactly happened with it. We ended up talking from about 9p.m. until about 3 a.m... A good 6 hours and it was almost like a breathe of fresh air. After the first awkward, hey how are you stuff. The conversation flowed fairly easily like nothing had ever changed, like it wasn't two years since we got into the worst argument of our lives and never spoke again.
We have plans to get dinner sometime next week with my cousin. The 3 of us were really close, so it should be quite fun. I suppose I'll update after that?
__________________________________________
I really want to thank everyone on TL. Without all of your support and words of wisdom, I never would of sent the letter. It honestly was just a way for me to initially just vent my feelings and get out what I wanted to say. I was so nervous actually typing in her email and copy pasting/clicking send. It was pretty nuts. My hands got sweaty, my heartbeat rose. But in the end, it worked out.
So thanks to all of you!
 
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we need more details, especially the part where it "was abruptly ended so harshly and with such hatred."
idk whats your intent anyways, are you still trying to get back together or... what exactly.
the main point i got was that it was nice seeing her (assuming its a her) and then the rest alluding to an interesting story i think you should tell.
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I once had a friend who lived in another country. We used to talk a lot online. For hours at a time (at weird times because of the timezone) about everything, including all the personal stuff in our lives. I'm not a very open person so it was a pretty big deal for me. We were really good friends. Eventually because we never actually met things kinda got sour. At one point her RL friends even tried to make her stop talking to me.
She sent me a really nice package once with all kinds of random things she found that made her think about me and a nice letter. I wrote a letter too, and found stuff that reminded me of her, never sent it. I still have the letter, and everytime I see it I think about how I should have sent it, or how maybe I still could. It makes me sad. There is nothing wrong with communication (except the absence of it), you should send it.
Also people don't send letters enough anymore. Its nice to get a letter and know that someone was thinking about you enough to sit down and write one on a real fucking piece of paper and mail it.
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Everything ends sometime, even stars burn out. Let go and move on.
That said, since it is/was your relationship you should know best what to do.
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Don't send it. If your life was a book this girl is 2 sentences. You've got a life to live and pages to write.
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I'm imagining a person I used to hate, and never spoke since, sending me this message. I'd want to receive it. Unless this person is dead and literally cannot receive your message, send it. What's the worst that could happen?
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On September 01 2011 06:56 Dalguno wrote:
Send it.
This. Really nicely written. You have nothing to lose by sending it.
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I have updated with a brief explanation and some details. Thanks for all your kind words and advice.
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nothing to lose man, go ahead and send it...it can only make things better
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WTF does it mean to be slightly unfaithful?
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On September 01 2011 07:21 VTArlock wrote:
I have updated with a brief explanation and some details. Thanks for all your kind words and advice.
Just read your explanation.
In my honest opinion, I think that maybe your pride is holding you back a little bit.
Obviously you think its her fault and that's understandable if she was unfaithful first but if you want to be with her then just swallow your pride.
Life is too short to live with regrets man, if you can be happy with someone then you should.
It might feel good to have the stance "if she wants it then she has to apologize too" but at the end of the day you'll still feel shitty and there's no reason to have to feel shitty if you have other options.
My 2 cents.
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lived together, loved each other, did everything together and then it was abruptly ended so harshly and with such hatred.
Hey I'm going to tell you a story: a friend of mine had a girlfriend for more than 6 years, they got an apartment, they moved in together, they loved each other etc. , you get it. One day his girlfriend spotted a suspicious message on my friend's phone; a message sent by one of his female friends. To tell the truth there was nothing beyond that, and my friend never ever cheated on her. Maybe he was thinking about doing it, but you know how men are, and even though he wasn't talkative, my friend was an honorable guy. Anyway they had an argument, a dispute, and the girlfriend was mad, she didn't want to hear any explanations, she told him to leave the apartment for a while.
My friend, annoyed by this whole situation, angrily left and planned to go back to his parents' for the night. You know what? On his way to his parents' home he was involved in a car accident and died.
Now the girlfriend is on pills and suicide watch.
What's the morale of the story? I say go for it dude. If you don't do it you'll regret it.
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On September 01 2011 07:24 trias_e wrote:
WTF does it mean to be slightly unfaithful?
Only sleep with some guys. Not all of them.
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On September 01 2011 07:28 Condor Hero wrote:Show nested quote +On September 01 2011 07:21 VTArlock wrote:
I have updated with a brief explanation and some details. Thanks for all your kind words and advice. Just read your explanation. In my honest opinion, I think that maybe your pride is holding you back a little bit. Obviously you think its her fault and that's understandable if she was unfaithful first but if you want to be with her then just swallow your pride. Life is too short to live with regrets man, if you can be happy with someone then you should. It might feel good to have the stance "if she wants it then she has to apologize too" but at the end of the day you'll still feel shitty and there's no reason to have to feel shitty if you have other options. My 2 cents.
I appreciate your 2 cents but it has nothing to do with pride.
To be completely honest I feel like it was my fault more than anything. I simply don't feel like I have the right to message her. I don't need any apology from her at all. I blame myself. I possibly ruined a happy life with "the one".
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Man that's..bitter. According to your explanation it's quite possible that she still feels the same way but after that argument initially her pride didn't allow her to approach you again and after all that time it was simply too awkward for her, with you having your own reasons (as stated in the explanation). You should definitely try to communicate with her again.
And again I dont know NOTHING about the two of you, so keep in mind this is more or less guesswork.
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send it and give us an update on what happens.
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On September 01 2011 07:32 VTArlock wrote:Show nested quote +On September 01 2011 07:28 Condor Hero wrote:On September 01 2011 07:21 VTArlock wrote:
I have updated with a brief explanation and some details. Thanks for all your kind words and advice. Just read your explanation. In my honest opinion, I think that maybe your pride is holding you back a little bit. Obviously you think its her fault and that's understandable if she was unfaithful first but if you want to be with her then just swallow your pride. Life is too short to live with regrets man, if you can be happy with someone then you should. It might feel good to have the stance "if she wants it then she has to apologize too" but at the end of the day you'll still feel shitty and there's no reason to have to feel shitty if you have other options. My 2 cents. I appreciate your 2 cents but it has nothing to do with pride. To be completely honest I feel like it was my fault more than anything. I simply don't feel like I have the right to message her. I don't need any apology from her at all. I blame myself. I possibly ruined a happy life with "the one".
Sounds like you're in conflict with yourself. On one hand you consider her "the one", but on the other you try convince yourself you don't have the "right" to contact her. We all fuck up sometimes, but if it's someone you really care for, should you really give up so easily and make silly excuses?
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I don't know, I think I may be too nervous to actually send it to her. I'll put a poll on the blog. Please if you're answering the poll try to put yourself in my shoes a bit, don't simply poll to "send it" for entertainment.
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EPT
