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On September 01 2011 08:01 VTArlock wrote:
I don't know, I think I may be too nervous to actually send it to her. I'll put a poll on the blog. Please if you're answering the poll try to put yourself in my shoes a bit, don't simply poll to "send it" for entertainment.
You said she was possibly the one. I think youll be regreting it more if you dont send it.
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I say send it 'cuase it's (was) a freaking 7 year relationship. From what the blog sounds like, it seems you two are in your early-mid twenties. 7 years is like a third of your life right now. Better to try and maybe fail than to regret it. These feelings don't just go away and it sounds like she still likes/loves you too.
If your pasts mistakes are too much well, the worst that can happen is you two will just end up the way it is now again.
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I think what most of us feel like is, if you don't communicate, nothing can happen. If you do, far more good can come of it than bad (your relationship probably cannot get worse at this point). Relationships are obviously all about communicating, so trying to express your feelings in a calm and rational manner, while listening to what the other has to say, is the only way you can ever even be friends again. People will always fight, and make bad decisions, but dealing with it is more important than never making the mistake in the first place.
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From a girls point of view, this has happened to me before with an ex I absolutely hated and I tried to avoid him at all costs. I never gave the impression I wanted to look at him again and yet he sent me a message over Facebook the day of graduation how he still felt even after I broke up with him and honestly, I wanted to strangle him. But even I knew that he would have regretted it had he not been able to get that out of him.
It seems as if you two really wanted to talk to each other, so I would say send the letter. If she wanted to talk to you then, most likely she would still want to talk to you now. If she loved you then, she should be able to understand why you have to shake this out of you. You honestly have nothing to lose at this point, so go for it.
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You noticed her noticing you noticing her? 
In seriousness, you should contact her. You'll just end up with feelings of regret. And look, even if nothing comes of it, if she has a man now, you can still be friends. You don't necessarily have to be a homewrecker if your intentions ar good.
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I had a similiar situation with one of my ex-girlfriends. Of course it wasn't together with her for such a long time, it was actually rather short. However, it ended in a complete mess. After the last phone call, I didn't talk with her for 3 years straight. Then she hooked up with the cousin of a friend of mine, so I saw her everytime he was around. But I ignored her, and she never spoke a single word when I was around.
So I also decided to write a letter. Not quite as good as yours, but still an offer to forget the things of the past. The result of it? Well, I haven't talked to her for 6 years now if i counted correctly (excluding the letter).
So long story short, it completely depends on the situation and her character. However, you have nothing to lose, and I never regretted sending that letter, even though it had absolutely no effect.
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On September 01 2011 08:10 EKnaus wrote:
From a girls point of view, this has happened to me before with an ex I absolutely hated and I tried to avoid him at all costs. I never gave the impression I wanted to look at him again and yet he sent me a message over Facebook the day of graduation how he still felt even after I broke up with him and honestly, I wanted to strangle him. But even I knew that he would have regretted it had he not been able to get that out of him.
It seems as if you two really wanted to talk to each other, so I would say send the letter. If she wanted to talk to you then, most likely she would still want to talk to you now. If she loved you then, she should be able to understand why you have to shake this out of you. You honestly have nothing to lose at this point, so go for it.
What ended up happening after you received the message?
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On September 01 2011 08:12 VTArlock wrote:Show nested quote +On September 01 2011 08:10 EKnaus wrote:
From a girls point of view, this has happened to me before with an ex I absolutely hated and I tried to avoid him at all costs. I never gave the impression I wanted to look at him again and yet he sent me a message over Facebook the day of graduation how he still felt even after I broke up with him and honestly, I wanted to strangle him. But even I knew that he would have regretted it had he not been able to get that out of him.
It seems as if you two really wanted to talk to each other, so I would say send the letter. If she wanted to talk to you then, most likely she would still want to talk to you now. If she loved you then, she should be able to understand why you have to shake this out of you. You honestly have nothing to lose at this point, so go for it. What ended up happening after you received the message?
To be honest, I was very annoyed that he didn't have the balls to tell that to my face, but I hunted him down and forced him to tell it to me straight even though I could tell he was scared so there was a bit more closure. We can now talk like friends as we were before we were dating.
Only major difference I see would be you two got a bit more intimate to be ex-fiances. Sorry, I'm not sure how to phrase that...
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Good Luck! Send it
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You have a few options in this situation.
You can send it. Sending the letter will tell you exactly how she feels about you. If she is willing to be friends, so be it. If not, life sucks, move on.
Or, you can not send it, and later on, potentially regret not finding out how she thinks of you.
I would say send it. Why not. Simply because life is short. I do almost everything expecting it to not turn out great. My theory is: if something doesn't go my way, whatever. Something else will. If that does work out good, even better.
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Just send it. You may lose that window of opportunity, you never know. I'd say seize the moment and send it, don't hesitate in fear of making a mistake or being rejected. Not trying to be harsh here but who cares if you don't have the right? Who told you, you can't contact her. (I mean if you are not legally separated there's no reason not to try) Your intentions are what matters and if she understands you then I think you two have a shot.
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You should send it arlock, if it is from your heart and you still love her deep down, you should try. Even if nothing happens or comes of it, you'll have said what you needed to say.
There is always a chance that she could realize she still loves you too. If not, then not...if so, then maybe you will hear back from her.
Your letter is beautiful. We're lucky to have such people with hearts as beautiful as the game we play in our SC community. Go for it.
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Send it or you will regret and what what could have been. If you send it, you'll know the answer and live happily ever after, or learn to move on (which you were doing for the past 2 years anyways).
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some doors better stay closed
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I'm definitely taking all of your responses into advisement. I have to really think about it before I hit that "send" button.
I appreciate all of your sentiments.
-Thanks Avilo
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send it, but delete this part "(however I always knew you would accomplish your goals)." doesnt seem to fit right
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" I possibly ruined a happy life with "the one"."
If you're even considering that, then you should be sending that letter.
Do it bro, you wont regret it.
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That was really heartwarming, you should definitely send it!! And then post an update ^^
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I say send it. In the end it's a toss up. If you don't send it you might live the rest of your life occasionally looking back and wondering what if. This might happen very infrequently or never, or maybe often enough for you to regret not sending it.
If you do send it, almost anything can happen, she could tell you no way in hell does she want anything to do with you ever and that would be that. Or it could start a dialogue again between the two of you and that could have amazing consequences or terrible consequences or anything in between.
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On September 01 2011 07:19 getSome[703] wrote:This. Really nicely written. You have nothing to lose by sending it.
This x1000 You really gotta send it.
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EPT
