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3 Jokes

Blogs > Seraphim
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Seraphim
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States4467 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-01-30 00:31:26
November 21 2008 06:45 GMT
#1


***
Hermes | Bisu[Shield] Fighting~!
Infundibulum
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
United States2552 Posts
November 21 2008 06:46 GMT
#2
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
+ Show Spoiler +
Two, one to change the bulb and the other to suck my dick!
LoL NA: MothLite == Steam: p0nd
nemY
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States3119 Posts
November 21 2008 06:47 GMT
#3
two guys walk into a bar

you think the second one should have seen it.

har har

/wrists
mikeymoo
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Canada7170 Posts
November 21 2008 06:51 GMT
#4
How do you change a dishwasher into a snowblower?
+ Show Spoiler +
Hand the bitch a shovel.
o_x | Ow. | 1003 ESPORTS dollars | If you have any questions about bans please PM Kennigit
eat
Profile Joined February 2008
United Kingdom88 Posts
November 21 2008 06:52 GMT
#5
Really?
/clearstats YES
GGQ
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Canada2653 Posts
November 21 2008 06:55 GMT
#6
You are trolling right?
Caller
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
Poland8075 Posts
November 21 2008 06:56 GMT
#7
yay misogyny

tempted to but not going to post picture
Watch me fail at Paradox: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=397564
Mastermind
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Canada7096 Posts
November 21 2008 06:58 GMT
#8
the first one was funny, the other two not so much.
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
November 21 2008 07:01 GMT
#9
lol I can't help but laugh at these ones
+ Show Spoiler +
What do you say to your wife with a bloody nose and split lip?
+ Show Spoiler +
Nothing, you've already told her 3 times.
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
H
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
New Zealand6138 Posts
November 21 2008 07:11 GMT
#10
excellent premise for a thread dude!
[iHs]HCO | のヮの | pachi & plexa ownz | RIP _
Ganfei
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Taiwan1439 Posts
November 21 2008 07:15 GMT
#11
Completely tasteless and crude dead baby jokes:
+ Show Spoiler +


What's the difference between a sandwich and a dead baby?

+ Show Spoiler +
I don't fuck the sandwich before eating it


How long does it take to microwave a dead baby?

+ Show Spoiler +
I don't know, I was too busy jacking off


You are crushing me like a cheese sandwich
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
November 21 2008 07:17 GMT
#12
On November 21 2008 16:15 NoobsOfWrath wrote:
Completely tasteless and crude dead baby jokes:
+ Show Spoiler +


What's the difference between a sandwich and a dead baby?

+ Show Spoiler +
I don't fuck the sandwich before eating it


How long does it take to microwave a dead baby?

+ Show Spoiler +
I don't know, I was too busy jacking off



Too add to this
+ Show Spoiler +
How do you take a baby out of the blender?
+ Show Spoiler +
With chips

and
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
+ Show Spoiler +
Depends how hard you throw them
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
mikeymoo
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Canada7170 Posts
November 21 2008 07:18 GMT
#13
On November 21 2008 16:11 H_ wrote:
excellent premise for a thread dude!

The racist jokes thread a while back was really funny, but so politically incorrect it was unbelievable.
o_x | Ow. | 1003 ESPORTS dollars | If you have any questions about bans please PM Kennigit
SpiritoftheTunA
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States20903 Posts
November 21 2008 07:27 GMT
#14
On November 21 2008 15:46 iNfuNdiBuLuM wrote:
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
+ Show Spoiler +
Two, one to change the bulb and the other to suck my dick!

nooo dude
+ Show Spoiler +
it's a trick question, feminists can't change anything!
posting on liquid sites in current year
cgrinker
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States3824 Posts
November 21 2008 07:36 GMT
#15
I wonder who is going to take it too far and get banned lol
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
November 21 2008 07:45 GMT
#16
On November 21 2008 16:27 SpiritoftheTuna wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 21 2008 15:46 iNfuNdiBuLuM wrote:
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
+ Show Spoiler +
Two, one to change the bulb and the other to suck my dick!

nooo dude
+ Show Spoiler +
it's a trick question, feminists can't change anything!

I disagree, they can change my bed sheets
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
HeavOnEarth
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States7087 Posts
November 21 2008 07:51 GMT
#17
why does beyonce only sing "to the left to the left"

+ Show Spoiler +
because black people have no rights


whats the difference betwen truckfull of bricks and a truckfull of dead babies?

+ Show Spoiler +
dead babies are easier to shovel
"come korea next time... FXO house... 10 korean, 10 korean"
Antipathy
Profile Joined June 2008
United States222 Posts
November 21 2008 08:06 GMT
#18
Oh man these jokes are hilariously terrible.
"All give some, some give all"
H
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
New Zealand6138 Posts
November 21 2008 08:07 GMT
#19
On November 21 2008 16:18 mikeymoo wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 21 2008 16:11 H_ wrote:
excellent premise for a thread dude!

The racist jokes thread a while back was really funny, but so politically incorrect it was unbelievable.


I don't care that they're politically incorrect, but some jokes require setting up or they fall dead. Particularly racist/sexist ones.
[iHs]HCO | のヮの | pachi & plexa ownz | RIP _
InfeSteD
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
United States4658 Posts
November 21 2008 08:42 GMT
#20
On November 21 2008 16:15 NoobsOfWrath wrote:
Completely tasteless and crude dead baby jokes:
+ Show Spoiler +


What's the difference between a sandwich and a dead baby?

+ Show Spoiler +
I don't fuck the sandwich before eating it


How long does it take to microwave a dead baby?

+ Show Spoiler +
I don't know, I was too busy jacking off




I dont understand these ones
w/e
Raithed
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
China7078 Posts
November 21 2008 08:46 GMT
#21
the 2nd one from OP... took from playboy?
NrG.ZaM
Profile Joined March 2008
United States267 Posts
November 21 2008 09:02 GMT
#22
What do you get when you slit a baby's throat?
+ Show Spoiler +
An erection.
InfeSteD
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
United States4658 Posts
November 21 2008 09:10 GMT
#23
Can someone explain to me the baby ones please =( me no get
w/e
writer22816
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States5775 Posts
November 21 2008 09:10 GMT
#24
ahahahaha
8/4/12 never forget, never forgive.
Nytefish
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United Kingdom4282 Posts
November 21 2008 09:18 GMT
#25
Dead baby jokes are probably the most sadistic ones out there.

Misogynistic jokes are best told to sisters and your mum.

Racist jokes are fine as long as you're joking about your own race (which I don't like but that's how it works).
No I'm never serious.
InfeSteD
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
United States4658 Posts
November 21 2008 09:33 GMT
#26
On November 21 2008 18:18 Nytefish wrote:
Dead baby jokes are probably the most sadistic ones out there.

Misogynistic jokes are best told to sisters and your mum.

Racist jokes are fine as long as you're joking about your own race (which I don't like but that's how it works).


still dont get it
w/e
Cambium
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
United States16368 Posts
November 21 2008 10:16 GMT
#27
Don't worry, there's nothing to get. They are simply retarded.
When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
meegrean
Profile Joined May 2008
Thailand7699 Posts
November 21 2008 10:24 GMT
#28
hahaha, the jokes are getting out of control.
Brood War loyalist
alffla
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Hong Kong20321 Posts
November 21 2008 10:32 GMT
#29
oh my god hahahahah holy shit some fucked up shit right there lool
Graphicssavior[gm] : What is a “yawn” rape ;; Masumune - It was the year of the pig for those fucking defilers. Chill - A clinic you say? okum: SC without Korean yelling is like porn without sex. konamix: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!
poilord
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Germany3252 Posts
November 21 2008 11:30 GMT
#30
On November 21 2008 16:27 SpiritoftheTuna wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 21 2008 15:46 iNfuNdiBuLuM wrote:
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
+ Show Spoiler +
Two, one to change the bulb and the other to suck my dick!

nooo dude
+ Show Spoiler +
it's a trick question, feminists can't change anything!


you win, ahahahaa
niteReloaded
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Croatia5282 Posts
November 21 2008 12:54 GMT
#31
Why do women have smaller feet?

+ Show Spoiler +
So they can be closer to the sink.
SilverSkyLark
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Philippines8437 Posts
November 21 2008 13:03 GMT
#32
On November 21 2008 16:51 HeavOnEarth wrote:
why does beyonce only sing "to the left to the left"

+ Show Spoiler +
because black people have no rights


whats the difference betwen truckfull of bricks and a truckfull of dead babies?

+ Show Spoiler +
dead babies are easier to shovel

Damn!! Nice one....you just won the thread right there, but that might merit you a ban.
"If i lost an arm, I would play w3." -IntoTheWow || "Member of Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk cafe. He's the next Jaedong, baby!"
Nytefish
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United Kingdom4282 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-11-21 13:22:45
November 21 2008 13:22 GMT
#33
On November 21 2008 18:33 InfeSteD wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 21 2008 18:18 Nytefish wrote:
Dead baby jokes are probably the most sadistic ones out there.

Misogynistic jokes are best told to sisters and your mum.

Racist jokes are fine as long as you're joking about your own race (which I don't like but that's how it works).


still dont get it


That's a good thing, it means you're not a sadist (or don't find it funny):

sa⋅dism
–noun
1. Psychiatry. sexual gratification gained through causing pain or degradation to others. Compare masochism.
2. any enjoyment in being cruel.
3. extreme cruelty.
No I'm never serious.
NrG.ZaM
Profile Joined March 2008
United States267 Posts
November 21 2008 14:18 GMT
#34
Yes, telling dead baby jokes is completely cruel and sick. It can't just be a typical joke, where something radical gets told for a shock and lol, this is the internet. How do we know there aren't any dead babies browsing TL who might get offended?
Nytefish
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United Kingdom4282 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-11-21 15:11:48
November 21 2008 15:11 GMT
#35
Well I don't have to be a dead baby to be offended by dead baby jokes.

(for the record I actually do enjoy them)

(the jokes that is, not dead babies)
No I'm never serious.
anderoo
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Canada1876 Posts
November 21 2008 15:30 GMT
#36
wow
I havent heard any of these before and they're all fucking awesome.
my sister's a huge feminist and that bitch is hearing all of these
lesser_good
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
Canada698 Posts
November 21 2008 16:57 GMT
#37
whats the difference between a freezer full of dead babys and a mustang ?
+ Show Spoiler +
i dont have a mustang in my garage
pew pew
lesser_good
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
Canada698 Posts
November 21 2008 16:58 GMT
#38
how long does it take a black women to take a shit
+ Show Spoiler +
9 months
pew pew
niteReloaded
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Croatia5282 Posts
November 21 2008 18:19 GMT
#39
On November 22 2008 01:58 lesser_good wrote:
how long does it take a black women to take a shit
+ Show Spoiler +
9 months

you have balls dude!
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17922 Posts
November 21 2008 21:59 GMT
#40
On November 22 2008 03:19 niteReloaded wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 22 2008 01:58 lesser_good wrote:
how long does it take a black women to take a shit
+ Show Spoiler +
9 months

you have balls dude!


i dont..

OH ROFL
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
lesser_good
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
Canada698 Posts
November 21 2008 22:53 GMT
#41
lol as soon as i got back from work i rushed to tl to make sure i wasnt banned
pew pew
BanZu
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States3329 Posts
November 21 2008 23:23 GMT
#42
Why did the woman cross the road?

+ Show Spoiler +
I don't know, and I don't care. What I want to know is what the hell she was doing out of the kitchen.
Sun Tzu once said, "Defiler becomes useless at the presences of a vessel."
Krohm
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Canada1857 Posts
November 21 2008 23:36 GMT
#43
On November 22 2008 07:53 lesser_good wrote:
lol as soon as i got back from work i rushed to tl to make sure i wasnt banned

Rofl reminds of this one time I was at work, and I changed crews that day. Anyway I was standing there talking to this one guy and I was like "Yeah I'm glad I switched crews, that place was a piece of shit I hated working on that N****r Rig...." Then I looked over and this black dude was standing beside us. I forgot there was a black guy on our crew. So funny haha
Not bad for a cat toy.
Bowdz
Profile Joined September 2007
United States202 Posts
November 22 2008 04:52 GMT
#44
Jesus, Ive never really heard any dead baby jokes before, but they are terrible. LMAO at the feminist jokes.
"Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself makes you fearless." - Lao Tzu
Insane Lane
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States397 Posts
November 22 2008 06:37 GMT
#45
What's the difference between a stack of papers and a stack of people who tell dead baby jokes?

+ Show Spoiler +
One isn't full of complete fucktards.
InfeSteD
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
United States4658 Posts
November 22 2008 09:39 GMT
#46
On November 22 2008 01:58 lesser_good wrote:
how long does it take a black women to take a shit
+ Show Spoiler +
9 months


Someone got banned from TL.net back in 06 I believe for telling this exact same joke...


About dead baby jokes... I really still dont get it.. whats funny about it? like whats the whole point behind it.. theres gotta be some story behind it..
w/e
InfeSteD
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
United States4658 Posts
November 22 2008 09:40 GMT
#47
On November 21 2008 21:54 niteReloaded wrote:
Why do women have smaller feet?

+ Show Spoiler +
So they can be closer to the sink.


Oh shit I missed this one... I lAwLEeeDD!!!
w/e
skyglow1
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
New Zealand3962 Posts
November 22 2008 10:44 GMT
#48
Why is the bride always dressed in white?

+ Show Spoiler +
So the dishwasher matches the fridge
LastWish
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
2015 Posts
November 22 2008 11:51 GMT
#49
What is the difference between a hippo and a wife?

+ Show Spoiler +

One has a huge mouth and a fat ass. The other lives in africa.
- It's all just treason - They bring me down with their lies - Don't know the reason - My life is fire and ice -
imperfect
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Canada1652 Posts
November 23 2008 05:41 GMT
#50
<racist joke>~ take it lightly o_o;;;

What's long and hard on a black man?

+ Show Spoiler +
first grade xD haha im kidding
blind bisu free and anytime fanboy.
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
November 23 2008 05:54 GMT
#51
LMFAO these are hilarious ;D
I'm totally bookmarking this thread for reference.
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
ilj.psa
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
Peru3081 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-11-23 06:52:59
November 23 2008 06:23 GMT
#52
How are assholes who say dead baby jokes and actual babies alike?
Both are welcome in Disneyland without paying entrance fee.
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
November 23 2008 06:28 GMT
#53
On November 23 2008 15:23 ilj.psa wrote:
Whats the difference between assholes who say dead baby jokes and babies?
Both are welcome in Disneyland without paying entrance fee.

How is that a difference between them if they get in for free....

Fail at making a point...
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
FakeSteve[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Valhalla18444 Posts
November 23 2008 06:42 GMT
#54
none of you know any good jokes

you just know a bunch of dumb shit you saw on the internet one time
Moderatormy tatsu loops r fuckin nice
ilj.psa
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
Peru3081 Posts
November 23 2008 06:49 GMT
#55
On November 23 2008 15:28 Grobyc wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 23 2008 15:23 ilj.psa wrote:
Whats the difference between assholes who say dead baby jokes and babies?
Both are welcome in Disneyland without paying entrance fee.

How is that a difference between them if they get in for free....

Fail at making a point...

a f.. edited
Night[Mare
Profile Blog Joined December 2004
Mexico4793 Posts
November 23 2008 07:50 GMT
#56
i have a really good one but if you dont get spanish i doubt it would cause any fun.

que pasa si metes un huevo al microondas y cierras la puerta?
+ Show Spoiler +
te lo machucas
Teamliquidian townie
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
November 23 2008 08:13 GMT
#57
On November 23 2008 15:42 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote:
none of you know any good jokes

you just know a bunch of dumb shit you saw on the internet one time

HEY!
... it was a bunch of dumb shit I heard from a friend not the internet
And I don't see you contributing any of those 'good jokes' you speak of.
I'll try to remember this one correctly
+ Show Spoiler +
While walking down the street a man is stopped by another man with a briefcase.

He stops when the man with the briefcase starts to speak

"Excuse me sir, would you like to buy a bottle of mouthwash?"

The other man replies "Uh.. how much?"

"$100" says the man with the briefcase.

"WHAT?!?! That's insane!" the man exclaims.

The man with the briefcase stops and thinks for a minute....
"Alright I'll give you a special discount then, $50."

"That's still too much! I'll go buy some at the store instead for way less than that!"

Disappointed, the man with the briefcase starts to open his suitcase and says
"Sorry, I can see I must have wasted your valuable time then, let me share one of my brownies to show my apologies"

"Oh.. Ok.. I guess..." as he takes the brownie and bites into it

"THIS TASTES LIKE SHIT!!!!!"

The man with the briefcase smiles and says
+ Show Spoiler +
"So how about that mouthwash?"
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
Pyrrhuloxia
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States6700 Posts
January 19 2009 06:07 GMT
#58
What's Richard Nixon's starcraft id?
+ Show Spoiler +
ilovevoov
Jonoman92
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States9107 Posts
January 19 2009 06:13 GMT
#59
What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Corvette?

+ Show Spoiler +
I don't have a Corvette in my garage
jinwoooooooo
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States176 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-01-19 06:17:12
January 19 2009 06:17 GMT
#60
What did the Mexican fireman name his two children?

+ Show Spoiler +
Jose and Hose B
OhThatDang
Profile Joined August 2004
United States4685 Posts
January 19 2009 08:36 GMT
#61
i hate dead baby jokes
troi oi thang map nai!!!
Jaeden
Profile Joined September 2008
Romania1489 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-01-19 09:24:54
January 19 2009 08:46 GMT
#62
how many EMOs do u need to change a lightbulb?
+ Show Spoiler +
none, they like to sit in the dark


there are 5 emo kids in a room. One of them is crying. Why ?
+ Show Spoiler +
coz he doesn`t have his corner where to sit


u are locked in a room with a tiger, a cobra, and an emo. You also have a gun with two bullets. Who do u shoot?
+ Show Spoiler +
easy.The emo kid, twice



I hope u like this:
+ Show Spoiler +
A priest and his friend went to play golf.
After a while, the priest's friend misses: -FUCK, It was so close!
-Don`t curse man, God is gonna hear u
They continue playin` and the priest's friend misses again: -FUCK, It was so close!
The priest replies: -Please don`t curse anymore. God is gonna hear u
They resumed playing and then the priest's friend misses AGAIN: -FUCK, It was so close!
Then, suddenly, the sky turns grey, the clouds lookin` threatening, and then a lightning bolt struck the priest and killed him. God: -FUCK, It was so close!



another one:
+ Show Spoiler +
A priest was driving home after a usual day of work at the church. On his way home, he saw a hot blonde on the sidewalk, and kindly offered her a trip home.
After about 1 km of driving the priest couldn`t resist anymore and put his hand on the woman's thigh(leg?). The blonde replied: -Father, versicle(?) VIII of Matthew !(sorry, my english is failing me ). The priest took of his hand and continued driving.
After another km, the same thing happened, and the blonde yelled: -Father, versicle 8 of Matthew !!! The priest, embarrassed, took his hand off and continued driving.
As soon as he got home, he literally ran to his room, closed the door, and grabbed the Bible. At versicle VIII of Matthew, it was written: -Son, don`t be afraid, go ahead!


but yeah...this jokes are way more funny in your native language
Boxer: " Lee Jae Dong is the best player. He`s all about the micro; he`s the player which has the most amazing control"
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