EPTBroke up with GF *cry* - Page 3
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boesthius
United States11637 Posts
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lovelyrose
Canada160 Posts
On August 05 2008 00:48 KlaCkoN wrote: By the way, if anyone else here has been through anything remotely similar, how the “#” did you ever learn to trust anyone again afterwards? You have to remember that each person is different in life, you know you aren't an ass, so you gotta hope the other person isn't. If you decide not to trust anyone again, you'll probably find your life a lot worse. If you don't give the next girl you're with the same trust you gave your ex, you may have some problems. You'll probably get screwed again in life, but if you don't trust anyone, it'll make it hard to find a good friend, or find a good girlfriend. You'll probably end up just being bitter. Remember to be as careful as you can be when trusting someone though. Only trust people you think are trust worthy, although like I said, you'll probably get screwed again, and it'll probably hurt. When you finally meet the person that's right for you, you can look back and see this was worth it, unless you aren't the type who wants a long term commitment such as marriage. For now though, find some friends, maybe try calling up your old friends. I'm sure if you did something, you can just apologize and they'll forgive you. Talk to some people online as well, although it's no substitute for RL friends. Play Starcraft, do whatever, get your mind off of it. | ||
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KlaCkoN
Sweden1661 Posts
On August 05 2008 04:46 Jathin wrote: Nah man, trust me, it takes something like this for you to sit down and really re-prioritize your life. You'll start doing things you've always wanted to do (go to the gym, eat healthy, read books you've always wanted to read, improve your general knowledge). Then you'll realize, shit, I'm pretty damn happy even without a girl. And for God knows what reason, girls like that kind of attitude. So may the pussy floodgates open for you, my friend, may the pussy floodgates open. Yea that's the kind of life I had when I met her more or less, so yea you're right obviously but still... shit hurts  | ||
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Chef
10810 Posts
Good luck and try not the sweat the past  Best thing to do is to occupy your thoughts with how wonderful the future could be. Tell yourself not to be pessimistic and know you can always go up.By the way, if anyone else here has been through anything remotely similar, how the “#” did you ever learn to trust anyone again afterwards? Yeah. You just realise not everyone is a piece of shit and you start reading people better. Just make sure you don't single yourself out as the problem, cause it's never true. Some people just treat everyone that way, and eventually karma will bite them in the ass when they get a taste of their own medicine. You'll take longer than ever before to fully trust someone again, but that's not such a bad thing, because you'll be able to take more time to properly read people, and see who's genuine and who's a snake. The thing is to just be realistic about it. This happened to you because you were innocent and wanted to live in a fantasy world where she would never dream of hurting you... In the future, you'll know to read the facts and understand who is looking out for you and who isn't. | ||
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gg_hertzz
2152 Posts
waiting... And a loosely related story. I was at a barbecue at my brother's friend's place on Sunday, and there was this Asian chick with a very delicious set of tits. Most of the guys were checking her out, even the ones with a girlfriend. Anyway, me, her, her bf(also Asian), and 2 other guys ending up playing poker. I swear she was checking me out the whole night. If only we could find some time alone I'm sure I could have at least gotten a blow job at the very least. | ||
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Hippopotamus
1914 Posts
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Senff
United States360 Posts
On a heavier note, it is hard to trust again. It always is. You get through it by picking and choosing wisely. After one serious breakup, I avoided religious women, and that reaped many benefits. Now I'm married to a model, who is also a mathematician, and I couldn't be more sexed up and in love. | ||
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Agavond
448 Posts
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Night[Mare
Mexico4793 Posts
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Rayzorblade
United States1172 Posts
I'm actually infuriated right now, on your behalf. This is one of the most despicable things two people can do to another person they supposedly care about. I'm really sorry for you man and hope you're doing alright. | ||
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Ghardo
Germany1685 Posts
was the (ex)best friend someone you met through her? for me: i have a core of close friends i would never abandon even if the most stunning girl ever would become my gf.. friendship is just an immeasurable value, stabilizing you even in fucked up times. maybe you have to overthink what a trustworthy friendship/relationship really means/is. I'm VERY cautious to give my trust to someone resulting in a rather small group of close friends (just like 3-4 persons i really trust excluding my family) and me being single atm. This is somehow restrictive but has never faulted me up to now... as someone already said: "don't get bitter", but also learn that in the end you can only trust yourself and all trust you accumulate on other persons just presents a statistical probability. (that doesn't mean i advise versus trust, but the "try and error"-principle can sometimes be prevented if you are very rational about what people really mean to you and how they would act given situation xy - yes i know relationships are seldomly rational, just my idealized blabbering.. but one should at least strive for that) the first thing i thought when reading your post was "i would have shot them both", but that's of course not true. i would just have turned completely cold, left the house and never have communicated with her again (at least not more than "hi, you still have some of my stuff, i'm gonna pick it up at 3 pm. bye."). but that's me. yes, you can be proud of yourself that you acted calm and did nothing ridiculous/humiliating for you. beating him up would have been a clear lesson i guess, sometimes pain is the most impressive demonstration to make someone understand. but well.. you pulled a buddha, even more to be respected. i dunno.. viewed from the outside relationships sometimes look so primitive: they are built on the mutual desire for sex, they are different from a friendship - more and less, and if the core value of sex is not satisfyingly fulfilled they break up or lead to results as in this given situation (yes, cynicism is a great invention). what i want to say: keep in mind that reproduction does not include the guarantee for well-being and "living happy ever after" (sorry for being so direct). get this disney bullshit out of your head. (statistically most of the relationships break up after 3 years when the blindfolding hormone rush decreases.. not very romantic). it always sounds so easy "you have to know how people are really like to trust them".. mostly this goes just by feelings and those can be majorly wrong, but still, one should try to look beyond the facade. in case i only told you things which are obvious to you, my bad.. but maybe it serves you as inspiration in some parts. greets ps: there are of course always exceptions to this cold hearted presentation which i gave and these exceptions are what one should look for. | ||
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johnmaster
125 Posts
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pzeta
Spain106 Posts
I felt so empty... it was like stay with people but i feel alone, and the nights it was the worst part because the bed was empty , and it was much more hard than ever thought! My friends were all with girlfriends and i have got distance to them because i was centered on getting good marks in Computer Science and my girlfriends took all my time, that was a big mistake. After that, I was like asking to everyone who happened the same, to gain some perspective and aliviate pain, but the fact the only way to get better is called time. My personal history is, my girlfriend went with another boy, but i didn't know that and she rejected to tell me the truth, but my intuition told me that and the strange facts seemed to have the same direction, finally my intution was right. My relationship lasted six years, and when it finished i felt six months like a shit, i started to fail subjects, because i couldn't concentrate well on my studies, and if i am honest, in that moment i couldn't study without thinking on her, i got the worst marks ever i've had and i felt betrayed by some people and i felt other of them were a bit interesed. Finally i started to open to other relationships, i took new friends, i got very interesed in what people thinks and do, i always listen to my new friends and search for their good qualities and tell them everything good i could notice. My transformation was starting, so my character towards others too, and i got and Erasmus scolarship where i met other girls, and new good people from diferent country and living with them, parties, traveling a lot... Conclusion: It will make you much more stronger, it can perhaps take one year or two, but i can attest that this experience will make you different person and will give you a new vision and a strong experience, althought the process probably will be hard. If you want to speak with me through msn, send me a PM. Good luck !!! + Show Spoiler + I think this is not relevant but i have been this past year in Erasmus program in Sweden (Lulea) , she was really good girl but this time i decide to cut with her because the distance and i didn't want to live in sweden because i felt north people(swedish luleans) are a bit cold and some of them seem to have fear to speak with foreigners. | ||
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johnmaster
125 Posts
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semioldguy
United States7488 Posts
You always have the power to walk away, sometimes it just has to be done. | ||
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Mastermind
Canada7096 Posts
Losing a woman always sucks and the way you lost yours is really bad. It'll suck for awhile, then you will get over the slut and move on. Good luck man. | ||
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Hypnosis
United States2061 Posts
On August 05 2008 07:18 Sins wrote: This might cheer you up, and try to attempt it as well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAAK-S9kSLw lol!! i know exactly what im going to do! | ||
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KlaCkoN
Sweden1661 Posts
And funny thing is, sex was the thing holding our realationship together throughout all the tougher periods we faced =p. Right up until the end the sex was great, it was other things that didn't really work. Like her beeing sort of unable to cope with the fact that I was going to spend half the year away from her. And no I still want to belive in fairy tales, I refuse to accept that there might be no happy ending ever =p. Hm actually me saying that gotta be a healthy sign. @ senff She wasn't religious at all so I doubt that will work for me, or maybe it means that I should start looking for ultra religious girls haha. @pzeta Thanks for your story. It is similar to mine in many ways. @others saying nice stuff. Thanks a lot for your time, I really do appreciate it. | ||
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Ghardo
Germany1685 Posts
On August 06 2008 09:11 KlaCkoN wrote: @ ghardo And funny thing is, sex was the thing holding our realationship together throughout all the tougher periods we faced =p. Right up until the end the sex was great, it was other things that didn't really work. Like her beeing sort of unable to cope with the fact that I was going to spend half the year away from her. And no I still want to belive in fairy tales, I refuse to accept that there might be no happy ending ever =p. Hm actually me saying that gotta be a healthy sign. i can hardly prove my point so i won't elaborate on that, but i don't see a contradiction. sex held your relationship together, i said sex is a core value. you said sex was great right up until the end, still she chose to share that with another man - how come? you will be going away, what will she lack then? ... i see my arguing will prolly hurt you and it's pointless now trying to determine what caused what as - after all - it was just a hypothesis of mine. i can only support you in your pursuit of happiness and that's also what i tried to express in my very last sentence after some brutal and seemingly pessimistic pondering. whatever concept you choose, don't stop looking for new opportunities and if they are there, go ahead and grab them. the probability of not ever finding someone who fits together with you is so relatively small that one can be quite at ease and optimistic / open for the future. and yes, you seem to be rather steady after what has happened to you - congrats  greets | ||
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