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Calgary26003 Posts
http://209.85.165.104/search?q=cache:http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1
Examples:
One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. [emphasis added]
I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!
I often debate with evolutionists because I believe that they are narrow mindedly and dogmatically accepting evolution without questioning it. I don't really care how God did what He did. I know He did it.
If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol
 
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I'm not going to read all of those. Other than what you've posted... but wow. Those people are morons.
Funny as hell too though haha especially the top one.
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"I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie"
-JohnR7
Haha all of these quotes are just stupid on so many levels
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my brother has vowed to never talk to this one girl he's been bangin again after a drunken convo on saturday night.
He and a bunch of his friends were in my basement. They were all drinking and my mom just walked in and came down to say hello and walked into this convo. 'His girl goes something to the extent of I don't believe in evolution, I definitely didn't come from monkeys.'
One of his friends who is stuyding to be a doctor over at Drew University—and who also happens to be an abbrasive dick when he wants to get a point across—starts laughing uncontrollably in the corner and is biting his tongue so hard to not say anything.
Then he snaps and he's like what do you mean, you don't believe? There's nothing to believe, it's a studied concept. If you don't believe in that, you don't believe gravity, etc etc. He tells her there's tons of proof, citing basic stuff such as bacteria becoming resistant to certain drugs, and says that even though there's some holes, the amount of proof makes it pretty undeniable and that those gaps are just things we haven't learned yet.
The chick then goes on how she doesn't believe in bacteria and drugs, saying that it's all just a lie made up by pharmacuetical companies to exploit you. She says sickness is a result of demons in your body and that the only way to be healed is by god. Everyone, including my mother, started laughing after hearing this, and she went upstairs because she started to feel bad becaues she knew the chick was about to get torn to shreds.
The dude, who is a catholic, made it known that he believes in god n goes to chruch, but told her she's a fucking idiot if she believes that and will only accept studied scientific concepts soemtimes. The whole arguement ended up with her leaving out in a hissy fit and my brother dying laughing.
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United States22883 Posts
God revealed to me two things about the timing of the rapture. God specifically told me 2007 was the year, because I was only going to have from 3 to 3 1/2 years to spread the message after my book was published.
Shelby Corbitt, 2007rapture.com [Comments (206)] [2008-Jan-01]
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Belgium9950 Posts
oh man some are hilarious
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HOLY CRAP THE SUN WHAT IS THIS MADNESS.
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On January 15 2008 01:37 Jibba wrote:Show nested quote +God revealed to me two things about the timing of the rapture. God specifically told me 2007 was the year, because I was only going to have from 3 to 3 1/2 years to spread the message after my book was published.
Shelby Corbitt, 2007rapture.com [Comments (206)] [2008-Jan-01]
I don't get that one. Is there more to it than the "two things"? Anyway, the first one in the OP is unbelievable. They guy must have left his house one sunny day and immediately either shot himself or turned atheist. :D
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Here is an amazon.com review on Precalculus for Christian Schools
Some of the examples are pretty funny if you ask me.
+ Show Spoiler +
This book is an example of eisegesis gone berserk.
To get mathematics in line with the precepts of fundamentalist Christianity, the authors have tried to fuse mathematics with fundamentalist theology -- and have succeeded in straining their credibility to the breaking point.
Cases in point:
"Carl Friedrich Gauss first proved the fundamental theorem of algebra. There are many fundamental theorems: of arithmetic, calculus, and so on. These are so fundamental that many other theorems are derived from them. In the Bible, there are also fundamentals, without which Christianity would not exist: the deity of Christ, His substitutionary atonement, and the inspiration of the Bible, to name a few."
"A line can be described either by its slope (a ratio) or by its inclination (an angle). These terms describe the deviation from the horizontal, but the word inclination also has a non-mathematical meaning. Without Christ, man is inclined to sin. The Word of God should shape our attitudes (inclinations)."
"If you are given the length of two sides and the angle measure opposite one of those sides, you can use the law of sines to solve the triangle. However, this does not always determine a unique triangle. As a result, it is called the ambiguous case. Ambiguous means open to multiple interpretations. Some people say that you can interpret the Bible in any way that you want. However, there is no ambiguity in the Bible."
"A person is eccentric if his behavior deviates from normal. Jesus Christ expects His disciples to be eccentric, since living a Christlike life is not normal in this world (Titus 2:14). Likewise, in mathematics, conic sections are eccentric if they deviate from a circle. Eccentricity is a measure of this deviation. The eccentricity of an ellipse (e) is the ratio of focal distance (c) to the length of the sentimajor axis (a): e = c/a. Since c and a are distances and c < a, the eccentricity of any ellipse is 0 < e < 1.
"The concept of limit can be used to illustrate an important truth. Suppose you lived eighty years and there was no life after death; your life on the earth would be 80/80 = 1 = 100% of your existence. Now, let's assume that your life after death was eighty years long: your earthly life would be 80/160 = 1/2 = 50% of your entire existence. If life after death were 720 years, your life here would be only 80/(80+720) = 0.1 = 10%. Now extend it to eternity: (the limit as x approaches infinity) 80/(80+x) = O. In other words, this life is very insignificant in light of eternity. It is no wonder James said that life is "vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."
This book does a gross disservice to both mathematics and the Scriptures. I would not recommend its use in ANY school -- religious or secular.
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United States3573 Posts
several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years.
loooooooooooooooooooool evolution gg'd
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On January 15 2008 03:03 RzzE wrote:Here is an amazon.com review on Precalculus for Christian SchoolsSome of the examples are pretty funny if you ask me. + Show Spoiler +
This book is an example of eisegesis gone berserk.
To get mathematics in line with the precepts of fundamentalist Christianity, the authors have tried to fuse mathematics with fundamentalist theology -- and have succeeded in straining their credibility to the breaking point.
Cases in point:
"Carl Friedrich Gauss first proved the fundamental theorem of algebra. There are many fundamental theorems: of arithmetic, calculus, and so on. These are so fundamental that many other theorems are derived from them. In the Bible, there are also fundamentals, without which Christianity would not exist: the deity of Christ, His substitutionary atonement, and the inspiration of the Bible, to name a few."
"A line can be described either by its slope (a ratio) or by its inclination (an angle). These terms describe the deviation from the horizontal, but the word inclination also has a non-mathematical meaning. Without Christ, man is inclined to sin. The Word of God should shape our attitudes (inclinations)."
"If you are given the length of two sides and the angle measure opposite one of those sides, you can use the law of sines to solve the triangle. However, this does not always determine a unique triangle. As a result, it is called the ambiguous case. Ambiguous means open to multiple interpretations. Some people say that you can interpret the Bible in any way that you want. However, there is no ambiguity in the Bible."
"A person is eccentric if his behavior deviates from normal. Jesus Christ expects His disciples to be eccentric, since living a Christlike life is not normal in this world (Titus 2:14). Likewise, in mathematics, conic sections are eccentric if they deviate from a circle. Eccentricity is a measure of this deviation. The eccentricity of an ellipse (e) is the ratio of focal distance (c) to the length of the sentimajor axis (a): e = c/a. Since c and a are distances and c < a, the eccentricity of any ellipse is 0 < e < 1.
"The concept of limit can be used to illustrate an important truth. Suppose you lived eighty years and there was no life after death; your life on the earth would be 80/80 = 1 = 100% of your existence. Now, let's assume that your life after death was eighty years long: your earthly life would be 80/160 = 1/2 = 50% of your entire existence. If life after death were 720 years, your life here would be only 80/(80+720) = 0.1 = 10%. Now extend it to eternity: (the limit as x approaches infinity) 80/(80+x) = O. In other words, this life is very insignificant in light of eternity. It is no wonder James said that life is "vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."
This book does a gross disservice to both mathematics and the Scriptures. I would not recommend its use in ANY school -- religious or secular.
That is amazing. Anything that helps kids learn math is ok. Is there a pdf of this somewhere?
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United States22883 Posts
On January 15 2008 02:55 Asta wrote:Show nested quote +On January 15 2008 01:37 Jibba wrote:God revealed to me two things about the timing of the rapture. God specifically told me 2007 was the year, because I was only going to have from 3 to 3 1/2 years to spread the message after my book was published.
Shelby Corbitt, 2007rapture.com [Comments (206)] [2008-Jan-01] I don't get that one. Is there more to it than the "two things"? Anyway, the first one in the OP is unbelievable. They guy must have left his house one sunny day and immediately either shot himself or turned atheist. :D
"God specifically told me 2007 was the year"
It's dated 1/1/2008.  So God lied to her.
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On January 15 2008 03:31 Jibba wrote:Show nested quote +On January 15 2008 02:55 Asta wrote:On January 15 2008 01:37 Jibba wrote:God revealed to me two things about the timing of the rapture. God specifically told me 2007 was the year, because I was only going to have from 3 to 3 1/2 years to spread the message after my book was published.
Shelby Corbitt, 2007rapture.com [Comments (206)] [2008-Jan-01] I don't get that one. Is there more to it than the "two things"? Anyway, the first one in the OP is unbelievable. They guy must have left his house one sunny day and immediately either shot himself or turned atheist. :D "God specifically told me 2007 was the year" It's dated 1/1/2008. So God lied to her.
Isn't that the date from the website?
They probably grabbed it on the first of the year before she took it down.
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United States22883 Posts
On January 15 2008 03:38 fight_or_flight wrote:Show nested quote +On January 15 2008 03:31 Jibba wrote:On January 15 2008 02:55 Asta wrote:On January 15 2008 01:37 Jibba wrote:God revealed to me two things about the timing of the rapture. God specifically told me 2007 was the year, because I was only going to have from 3 to 3 1/2 years to spread the message after my book was published.
Shelby Corbitt, 2007rapture.com [Comments (206)] [2008-Jan-01] I don't get that one. Is there more to it than the "two things"? Anyway, the first one in the OP is unbelievable. They guy must have left his house one sunny day and immediately either shot himself or turned atheist. :D "God specifically told me 2007 was the year" It's dated 1/1/2008. So God lied to her. Isn't that the date from the website? They probably grabbed it on the first of the year before she took it down.
Either way he's a lying son of a bitch.
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OMG ROFL...
"so you think if no one believed in any religion there would be no wars or fighting? i think it would be worse. i know if i didn't fear god's judgement i would have killed many many times."
Some of these people are truly fucked up.
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Read the whole thing. Pure comedy.
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I couldn't read the whole thing because it was just too painful. The one about that father whose son came out to him then killed himself is pretty sad though 
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Vatican City State1176 Posts
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On January 15 2008 03:03 RzzE wrote:Here is an amazon.com review on Precalculus for Christian SchoolsSome of the examples are pretty funny if you ask me. + Show Spoiler +
This book is an example of eisegesis gone berserk.
To get mathematics in line with the precepts of fundamentalist Christianity, the authors have tried to fuse mathematics with fundamentalist theology -- and have succeeded in straining their credibility to the breaking point.
Cases in point:
"Carl Friedrich Gauss first proved the fundamental theorem of algebra. There are many fundamental theorems: of arithmetic, calculus, and so on. These are so fundamental that many other theorems are derived from them. In the Bible, there are also fundamentals, without which Christianity would not exist: the deity of Christ, His substitutionary atonement, and the inspiration of the Bible, to name a few."
"A line can be described either by its slope (a ratio) or by its inclination (an angle). These terms describe the deviation from the horizontal, but the word inclination also has a non-mathematical meaning. Without Christ, man is inclined to sin. The Word of God should shape our attitudes (inclinations)."
"If you are given the length of two sides and the angle measure opposite one of those sides, you can use the law of sines to solve the triangle. However, this does not always determine a unique triangle. As a result, it is called the ambiguous case. Ambiguous means open to multiple interpretations. Some people say that you can interpret the Bible in any way that you want. However, there is no ambiguity in the Bible."
"A person is eccentric if his behavior deviates from normal. Jesus Christ expects His disciples to be eccentric, since living a Christlike life is not normal in this world (Titus 2:14). Likewise, in mathematics, conic sections are eccentric if they deviate from a circle. Eccentricity is a measure of this deviation. The eccentricity of an ellipse (e) is the ratio of focal distance (c) to the length of the sentimajor axis (a): e = c/a. Since c and a are distances and c < a, the eccentricity of any ellipse is 0 < e < 1.
"The concept of limit can be used to illustrate an important truth. Suppose you lived eighty years and there was no life after death; your life on the earth would be 80/80 = 1 = 100% of your existence. Now, let's assume that your life after death was eighty years long: your earthly life would be 80/160 = 1/2 = 50% of your entire existence. If life after death were 720 years, your life here would be only 80/(80+720) = 0.1 = 10%. Now extend it to eternity: (the limit as x approaches infinity) 80/(80+x) = O. In other words, this life is very insignificant in light of eternity. It is no wonder James said that life is "vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."
This book does a gross disservice to both mathematics and the Scriptures. I would not recommend its use in ANY school -- religious or secular.
WOW hahahah. I go to a catholic school yet I don't think I'd still be here if they had us using that. I doubt any respectable Christian/Catholic school would even think of using that.
Also, while these quotes were hilarious, I almost feel sad for how blind and stupid some of these people are. Start thinking for yourself, it doesn't take a genius to know that the Bible isn't word for word truth. It's ironic that these people follow their religion word for word, while following the letter as opposed to the spirit is exactly what Jesus was against.
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If I can get closer to God by eating brains, then why not?
I heard someone say this in one weird movie-messed up-documentary-, and I laugued so hard I wrote it down in a txt file.
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On January 15 2008 05:57 LuckyFeeling wrote:Show nested quote +On January 15 2008 03:03 RzzE wrote:Here is an amazon.com review on Precalculus for Christian SchoolsSome of the examples are pretty funny if you ask me. + Show Spoiler +
This book is an example of eisegesis gone berserk.
To get mathematics in line with the precepts of fundamentalist Christianity, the authors have tried to fuse mathematics with fundamentalist theology -- and have succeeded in straining their credibility to the breaking point.
Cases in point:
"Carl Friedrich Gauss first proved the fundamental theorem of algebra. There are many fundamental theorems: of arithmetic, calculus, and so on. These are so fundamental that many other theorems are derived from them. In the Bible, there are also fundamentals, without which Christianity would not exist: the deity of Christ, His substitutionary atonement, and the inspiration of the Bible, to name a few."
"A line can be described either by its slope (a ratio) or by its inclination (an angle). These terms describe the deviation from the horizontal, but the word inclination also has a non-mathematical meaning. Without Christ, man is inclined to sin. The Word of God should shape our attitudes (inclinations)."
"If you are given the length of two sides and the angle measure opposite one of those sides, you can use the law of sines to solve the triangle. However, this does not always determine a unique triangle. As a result, it is called the ambiguous case. Ambiguous means open to multiple interpretations. Some people say that you can interpret the Bible in any way that you want. However, there is no ambiguity in the Bible."
"A person is eccentric if his behavior deviates from normal. Jesus Christ expects His disciples to be eccentric, since living a Christlike life is not normal in this world (Titus 2:14). Likewise, in mathematics, conic sections are eccentric if they deviate from a circle. Eccentricity is a measure of this deviation. The eccentricity of an ellipse (e) is the ratio of focal distance (c) to the length of the sentimajor axis (a): e = c/a. Since c and a are distances and c < a, the eccentricity of any ellipse is 0 < e < 1.
"The concept of limit can be used to illustrate an important truth. Suppose you lived eighty years and there was no life after death; your life on the earth would be 80/80 = 1 = 100% of your existence. Now, let's assume that your life after death was eighty years long: your earthly life would be 80/160 = 1/2 = 50% of your entire existence. If life after death were 720 years, your life here would be only 80/(80+720) = 0.1 = 10%. Now extend it to eternity: (the limit as x approaches infinity) 80/(80+x) = O. In other words, this life is very insignificant in light of eternity. It is no wonder James said that life is "vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."
This book does a gross disservice to both mathematics and the Scriptures. I would not recommend its use in ANY school -- religious or secular.
WOW hahahah. I go to a catholic school yet I don't think I'd still be here if they had us using that. I doubt any respectable Christian/Catholic school would even think of using that. Also, while these quotes were hilarious, I almost feel sad for how blind and stupid some of these people are. Start thinking for yourself, it doesn't take a genius to know that the Bible isn't word for word truth. It's ironic that these people follow their religion word for word, while following the letter as opposed to the spirit is exactly what Jesus was against.
Most of them don't even follow the letter so well.
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I just lost so much faith in humanity
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This is friggin amazing. Thanks
[Am I in discussion with a human who has a functioning brain?]
What does a functioning brain have to do with the Bible?
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How can anyone beleive we evolved from monkeys heres a few questions for people who beleive that
1.If we did evolve from monkeys then how come babies arent born monkeys
2.Even Darwin said his theories were wrong before he died so why do you still believe them
3.do you really not believe the bible it says we were created in seven days not millions of years
4.how come we cant speak monkey
Just for a fact ape like creatures are monkeys Just in case certain people get on this thread
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lol these are just awesome
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Kind of OT, but I really like this quote (by a non-religious dude):
"God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent — it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash and in small bills." - Heinlein
And another funny one:
"All in all, I can't say I believe in god. If, in fact, I ever find out that he does indeed exist, I think I'll stay away from him, because if he's responsible for half the things he gets credit for, he's got to be one mean son of a bitch." -Gether
While I'm doing OT religion bashing:
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1055#comic
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Athiests as a Majority
This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!
The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.
ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!
Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!
The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.
RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!
THE END
Scary, isn't it?
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
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EPT
