EPTLRSL Round 1: The Real Story!
Despite all odds, Round 1 of LRTL is is in the books, with Round 2 right around the corner. LRTL may not have the same prestige as the exalted Proleague, but at this point, it's an unquestionable fact that it beats out shoddy imitators like VSL, while proving once and for all that this is the highest skill era yet. Ace players, surprise upsets, captivating builds, endearing collapses and its fair share of suspect decision making. LRTL has everything. In fact, if you squint hard enough, you might might just think you were watching greats like
Zest, Stats, 
INnoVation and herO facing off just like they did in the old days. You know, that conceit is just thin enough to work. We put a German on the job and this is what we came up with, the players of LRTL re-imagined as the stars of 2015 Proleague.TwicePrime
soO as
ByuN.Prime: Though undoubtedly the best player on the team, soO never plays for reasons. There’s a number of possibilities including some Super Tournament or BlizzCon, but odds are Mizenhauer sold his PC to fund his gambling addiction.Mizenhauer as
YoDa.Prime: Much like YoDa, Mizenhauer showed great potential at some point. Few can remember that day, though. The losses are piling up, begging the quesion, “when will they stop?” When Mizenhauer stops selling games, obviously.Olli as
Creator.Prime: The venerable Protoss with a love for HotS PvP and chargelot/archon finished as the best player of his team this round, but that isn't enough to carry TwicePrime. The team has proven to be a burden too great for one man’s shoulders. At least he's dodged PvZ so far. Let's all hope for TwicePrime’s sake that Olli doesn't give up on them like Creator did with Prime.Soularion as
BBoongBBoong.Prime: Let's address the elephant in the wool. Soularion definitely sold the match against TheManyColoredViper. He also shares the unenviable distinction of being a Zerg and is far from the best player on his team. By these powers combined, he's definitely B4.Luolis as
TerrOr.Prime: We all know that in reality, Luolis is one of the very best players in LRTL. But he's also 0-3 and the only player with three losses in the league. Everyone knew that TerrOr was one of the best players in Korea in practice. But in Proleague, the kid couldn't deliver, winning only a single game before retiring. Luolis has voiced his disdain about the upcoming balance patch, and he keeps losing because his coach can't give him the right opponents. Would it really be a shock if his LRTL career took a similar turn? A Luolis LRTL retirement after the new patch hits? Not out of the question at this point.TheTemplar as
TANGTANG.Prime: You might be thinking this is an insult, but the truth is that we all love TANGTANG. And while, like TANGTANG, TheTemplar might never win a game in LRTL, if the next LRSL has qualifiers, expect him to eliminate Zest. (Editors Note: Do not expect Zest to feature in the next LRSL. We only take Koreans who’ve put up decent results in the past year).Mizenhauer as
Gerrard.Prime: Logging double duty as coach and player, Mizenhauer also stands in as Gerrard. Presumably funding his gambling addiction by selling soO's PC, even though he claims to have a million in the bank, is clear evidence that this comparison has legs. On top of that, there’s his appalling coaching. He continues to field himself on Incubation, yet his team only won when he let someone else take the all-gold map. He hasn't gotten Luolis a good matchup even once. The truth is there for all to see, Mizenhauer isn't coaching to win matches.Bonus:
Peter as
KeeN.Prime: Mizenhauer is desperately trying to get TwicePrime’s acquisition of Peter approved by KeSTAPO officials, to no avail thus far. However, should Peter join, he would no doubt take a KeeN-esque position, trying so very hard to carry his teammates, but falling short more often than not because he's forced to play the best player on the other team every time.STATSBOYS (SB) Entus
Railgan as CJ herO: The undisputed best player and ace of the team. His single loss also came in quite a silly and comical fashion, which one would expect from herO. The main difference between them is that herO is popular with all the other players whereas Railgan has taken up the role of pariah.
Seeker as CJ
ByuL: The other big contributor to the team's success, Seeker isn't quite as reliable as Railgan, but he's still extremely important as one of his team’s key anchors and #2 player (though admittedly that's in part because another player on the team never plays).TheRedViper as CJ
Bbyong: Mech is to Bbyong as lurkers are to Viper – true love stories. Both stand as the third most reliable players on their respective teams. And both tarnished their legacy, Bbyong in selling a Code A game against DRGLing, and Viper selling an important ace match against Elentos.GuMiho as CJ
GuMiho: GuMiho's LRTL career is basically going the same as his career on CJ did. Hit in the head by a piece of the booth, still won, never played again.Dodgeland as CJ
Sora: Like the real Sora, Dodgeland contributes for his team once every autumn before once more vanishing, leaving everyone to look forward to next year when he does something relevant again.Phredxor as CJ
Trust, CJ Bunny AND CJ RagnaroK: Phred isn’t the best player on SB Entus quite yet, but perhaps with some practice and continuous support by coach Crick, he’ll one day become a solid contributor. He’s in the same boat that Trust, Bunny and RagnaroK were back in the day, and incidentally, as a random player he plays every race. So he’s actually 3 players at once.CricketeR as CJ
Hush: While not particularly successful on the battlefield, Hush and CricketeR are the brains of their respective teams, pulling all the strings behind the scenes. CricketeR probably came up with every single build used by his team this round. Just ask Artosis.CricketeR as Coach Park: Like Coach Park, CricketeR has done an admirable job coaching a team lacking the depth required to position itself as a real contender. The only reason the patented CJ strategy of “one other guy has to take a game and herO will do the rest“ hasn't been properly applied to Railgan is simply because Railgan couldn't play two of the three ace matches. Otherwise, SB Entus may well have taken first place this round robin.
DJ Rolster
ArtyK as KT Zest/The Booth that hit GuMiho: ArtyK is a double feature on this list. First he plays the booth, hitting GuMiho square in the head. Then he takes over the duties of Zest and takes the loss. Just like Zest, he’s unquestionably a key player in the incredible ensemble that is DJ Rolster. His role as his team’s quasi-captain is a very loose parallel to Zest’s actual captaincy of KT. What else do we need? Well, jury is still out on whether or not ArtyK is hot. (Editor's Note: Where’s a Van Gogh when you need it?)
Poopi as KT
Flash: When 2015 Proleague started, it was easy to look at KT and identify their best four player lineup. After all, they kept all their core players from their winning 2014 effort - Zest, Stats, TY and of course FlaSh. When looking at the initial LRTL drafts, it was quite clear that DJ Rolster had one of the best starting four in the league. In both cases, the results live up to the hype as only one of them was truly reliable. Need I remind you that FlaSh’s only win in the first round of 2015 Proleague came against a clearly matchfixing Zerg. TheRedViper may not have been caught until the Great Elentos Disaster, but it’s blatantly obvious his games were not as legit as we thought them to be. Caught in the crossfire, poor Poopi will look to gain a legitimate win next round.Charoisaur as KT Stats: When all the chips are down what you truly need more than anything else is reliability. Some turned to disruptors. KT looked to Stats. Though publicly reprimanded for being the opposite of a practice bonjwa, Stats was always there for KT when the going got tough. And likewise, the only one not stumbling about like a drunken master forgetting the “master” part on DJ Rolster was Charoisaur. The sobering part of this tale is that Stats is a very easy ID while nobody knows how to say Charoisaur.
Golo as KT
Action: actioN was essentially the last of KT’s true Proleague Zergs. He would show up once a round and beat someone better than him, then retreat to obscurity. And even more telling is the fact that actioN, the beloved teammate that the he was, turned out to be the glue holding KT together. Well, that sounds just like Golo! Or does it? I don’t even know anymore. However, once LRTL goes offline I certainly expect to see Golo in a dinosaur costume.DJHelium as KT
TY: There are probably approximately one billion articles about TY and his potential. We’ve all heard this tired story before. Prodigious genius, yada yada yada, squandered potential, yeah, we heard you. You know who else was a one time prodigous genius? The one and only DJHelium. I’ll bet you if you scour the internet for clips of either player beating ForGG, you’ll find more of DJHelium than a certain WESG and IEM world champion. When it comes to potential, DJHelium is unquestionably a LITERAL GOD. But just like TY, he also never plays.vult as KT
Sleep: Frankly, it’s easy to forget Sleep was even on KT. He never played in Proleague and never managed to qualify for individual leagues. Well, to be exact, he played one time for KT. In an absolute disaster of a game. Everything went to shit as MyuNgSiK rallied Zealots across the map for an all-in that Sleep just died to. Enter vult, who has also played but a single game for his team, which was pretty much an equivalent disaster. The five minute double lair certainly won’t be something you can expect to see at Blizzcon.Solar as KT
First: Sometimes you just have to realize you’re outmatched and accept defeat. First and Solar, both reputable names in their own right (although admittedly Solar’s name is reputable because of someone else, but that’s beside the point) (Editor’s Note: I know which Solar I’d rather have on my FPL team), experienced this first hand in their only appearances for their respective teams. Just like First was thoroughly outclassed by Dream, Solar never really stood a chance against Inflicted, watching on as his team lost without taking a single game. SKT 3-0 KT, Totally Not LPLR 3-0 DJs and Dinosaurs. History repeats itself.Everyone involved as KT coaching staff: On paper, DJs and Dinosaurs can field the strongest four player lineup in all of LRTL. In reality, the team was a mess. Get it together.
Totally Not SKT
Durn as SKT.INnoVation: Hailing from great SC2 nations, South Korea and France. Durn and INnoVation are eerily similar players. They’re both in contention for the status as Greatest of All Time in their field of competition, Starleague champions and ace players. Durnovation dominated LRSL, and he will continue to do well in LRTL. Even a year of playing LOL probably wouldn’t change that.
Ej_ as SKT.
soO: Two great champions of ZvZ. They are masters of the roach, heralds of the mutalisk and Overminds of the one-base aggression. Incubation is to Ej_ as Expedition Lost is to soO. Key contributors for their teams, both are easily overlooked in favor of “flashier” options. But don’t let that fool you, this is all a precursor to Ej finishing second place in all future LRSLs.Kashim as SKT.
Dark: Much like Dark, Kashim has yet to fully master the art of ZvZ. But in true Dark fashion, he has no qualms going in full throttle when he senses weakness, with the only mercy he grants, a swift death. Now, nobody’s saying he’s going to dominate the LRSL scene starting in 2018, but he totally will.Inflicted as SKT.
Classic: Sometimes, you need a fresh breath of air. Sometimes, you just need to switch race. Classic did so because he felt Protoss better fit his playstyle, and it turned out he was right as he eventually became one of the main contributors for SKT in Proleague. Inflicted took it upon himself to try something similar. Because he’s a “big fan” of mirror matchups, he came up with the idea of playing Terran every now and then instead of his main race. Sadly for him, he has only played mirror matches in LRTL, so that didn’t really work out. But at least he’s been successful, so the comparison is close enough.Elentos as SKT.
Dream: Dream’s play may have had some glaring holes compared to INnoVation’s, but in the eyes of spectators, he covered them up brilliantly. Two matches against Life were all the world needed to be convinced Dream was the best Terran versus Zerg player, even though he won less than half his games against other players of the race. Elentos’ play has even more glaring holes, though he also covered them up quite brilliantly in some of his LRTL games. Unlike Dream, who covered them up by playing a few brilliant games against Life, Elentos opted to do so by playing incredibly stupid games. Speaking of Life, Viper sold that ace match against Elentos harder than Life sold that Coda game against Dream.Opisska as SKT.
Impact: Opisska hasn’t spent as much of his time in the limelight as his Zerg compatriots Ej_ and Kashim, and honestly, there's a good reason. Having not really found much success Opisska has chosen to channel Impact, an SKT Zerg who was given many opportunities to prove himself, but never actually converted on any of them. Ironically, in his first ever match, Opisska played against and lost to one of Impact’s biggest critics (read: he has a dozen posts calling him awful) in Seeker. Additionally, Impact and Opisska both really like roaches.Musicus as SKT.
DynaMite: I’m not sure why either of them are on their respective teams, but they’re there too.Durn and Ej as SKT coaching staff: It takes great leadership to keep together star-studded ensembles such as SKT and Totally Not LPLR. Just like iloveoov managed to do so quite stunningly, so did Durn and Ej. But their work didn’t end there. After SKT’s winning season in 2015, one of their players went on record that he recalled hardly any instances of their coaches incorrectly predicting the opposing teams’ lineups. In the same vein, Totally Not LPLR’s coaches correctly predicted nearly every map, with any losses being the result of their incompetent players.
Writer: Elentos
Editor: Mizenhauer, The Spirit of Tzuyu
