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TLADT24920 Posts
On April 10 2014 12:07 boesthius wrote:Show nested quote +On April 10 2014 10:28 BigFan wrote:Thanks for the blog. I've had the good fortune of never going through depression but I've dealt with people who have had it in the past and also through a call center that I used to work at, it's a really rough condition to have. I think what makes it worse is that it's still not as accepted as some of the more common diseases. Think of diabetes where everyone and their dog would accept that someone has it if they say so (assuming they aren't lying lol) but tell someone you are depressed and some won't believe you. They'll think you are lazy and don't want to do work. Maybe that you're making it up etc... and that makes it harder to open up about it. Having said that, I think having support like your brother is exactly the kind of things that will help you through it. Being able to open up to someone, confide in them and just work with them to help you get past it is great. Since I'm curious, when you were thinking of killing yourself, were you on the meds? With some meds like the SSRIs, you get your energy back within several weeks(usually 3 weeks) though your mood is unchanged for another one to three weeks after (4-6 weeks since treatment start). This means that you can still feel saddened and such but now you have the energy to try and commit suicide. Far as I know, patients should be informed about this. I guess I'm just wondering if the meds you are on atm (I presume) would've caused one of those attempts. Mind if I ask what med you're trying now if that's not too personal? On another note, I'm expecting a "I beat depression" blog in the near future! lol. On April 10 2014 09:04 boesthius wrote:
The ECT conversation: i don't think i've ever heard of it before. i'll ask my doctor about it next week but from what you guys are sharing it seems like the last resort of last resorts. ECT is indeed a last resort. Unless you've exhausted all the different type of meds and tried everything with not much change in your depression (still severe), I would avoid it. The SSRIs mentioned earlier, basically meds like citalopram and paroxetine (there's quite a bit of different ones) are usually first line therapy when it comes to depression because they are quite tolerable. Yeah, that's pretty much the same thing that I have experienced - when it comes to not accepting depression as a legitimate disease. I've been on Wellbutrin, Prozac and Zoloft; with Prozac being the latest.
thanks for mentioning them. Prozac is an SSRI so I guess you are on one after all. Hope things start looking up. With your brother's support, I'm sure things will get better. TL is always here with open arms as well judging by all the replies 
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1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
i am sad i didn't like hubardo as much as i thought i would
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United States11637 Posts
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United States11637 Posts
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United States11637 Posts
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You beat me on your stream once with a cheese and made fun of me to your viewers. GL beating you depression though; I'm in that same boat but the tides change ever so quickly.
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On April 12 2014 16:46 GettingIt wrote:
You beat me on your stream once with a cheese and made fun of me to your viewers.
whats wrong with that !
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Your beard is awesome and nice style as well!
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United States11637 Posts
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Australia1064 Posts
i would take you everywhere :~3
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Hey, random question, but how do you get your hair that way? It has so much volume...
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Canada379 Posts
not to diminish anything else you wrote about, i just don't know how to reply to it. Just wanted to say i checked out your music links; i liked seeing Penfold in there, i had only one track from them (Microchip) for many years then got their albums nearly 10 years ago. Thx for links to new post-rock (for me) also.
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Italy12246 Posts
Depression is an asshole to deal with. I just had a brief encounter with it; my gf on the other hand has been struggling with similar crap for about 2 years now.
Best of luck man.
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Based Sojin for real. Most perfect girl in the world.
Also don't worry man, you aren't alone on this. I've been struggling with depression for close to 10 years, and though some days are tough and I get the mindset of total disappointment and despair, I know better days are ahead of me.
GL to you man, and sick beard.
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I can't really relate to the fashion scene as I haven't really gotten into it yet. I might have a bit that wants to look good, but I don't think I'd spend a lot of money on new stuff all the time.
I can however relate to the feelings of depression. I'm not sure if the source of the depression matters to how it makes you feel, but I know it can make you feel like shit. To me, it felt like I had this really heavy dark cloud of horrible shit hanging over me, weighing me down, and almost constantly reminding me it was still there. I felt like I was at the bottom of a long dark well and that I would never be able to climb out. The light was there at the top, but it was so far away. And really there is a lot of well-wall to climb before you will be out on the surface again, but that doesn't mean you can't have some good times and fun and feel good along the way. Whistle while you work and all that.
I wasn't abused as a child or anything like that. I was a bit of a misfit in college though, if that's even possible. Panic attacks, anxiety. So for me it was mostly fear that I had to overcome, some family judgements that I had made about some of my family not being "normal" or good enough, and fearing that I would one day melt down in public again and make a scene as I have done 3-4 times in the past. It's like all your pent up frustration gets let out and you make a fool of yourself and the people you're with at the time, well you never feel the same around them. It's hard. I'm too hard on myself when I think of those times.
If you have some dark experiences in the past, sure learn from them, but it might help you to imagine that they happened to another person. Epictetus, a Greek stoic, has this to say: "Suppose that our servant breaks a cup. We are likely to get angry and have our tranquility disrupted by the incident. One way to avert this anger is to think about how we would feel if the incident had happened to someone else instead. If we were at someone’s house and his servant broke a cup, we would be unlikely to get angry; indeed, we might try to calm our host by saying 'It’s just a cup; these things happen.'" Epictetus believed that engaging in projective visualization, as the previous example, will make us appreciate the relative insignificance of the bad things that happen to us and will therefore prevent them from disrupting our tranquility.
There's a lot of philosophy to get into if you need to find some inner peace. If you like to read I can recommend a few good books that you might find helpful.
Support is absolutely crucial. "People who make changes successfully surround themselves with people who can help them. People who have the right beliefs and skills to help them make up a large part of their environment."
If you're going through a big change it's important to be optimistic and look for the good that is coming to you as a result of this change. Stop blaming, shaming and feeling guilty for things. Try to choose an alternate perspective that allows you to remove those three things from the painful memory.
I always hated moving into a new social group and losing my old one. Even if I knew that going through the change would benefit me in some way, the social hardship was often really heavy and difficult to rebuild a strong circle. Eventually I came to notice that I have friends all around me, all the time. You can talk to most people about stuff, if you find the right person you can talk to them about anything and they will listen to you. So if you've just begun a new chapter and lost a significant social support structure, it's good to try to connect more with people around you. Even if you never see them again after that day, at least you had some social support, and maybe a positive memory from it.
Last thing, and I don't like to tell people to do stuff: remove this shit from your playlist...
Xasthur - Subliminal Genocide Edit: Remove the darkest thing.
I like melo-death metal but some stuff is too dark for me. Just make small improvements to your environment like getting rid of the darkest thing that you listen to. That might help a bit too. The rest of your stuff is cool.
Keep writing, boes. There's healing in it.
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Yo homie
We all here if you need to talk about whatev
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Rory is legit as fuck
ps ilu
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Yo homie
Look at the sheer number of people responding and supporting you man Be encouraged!
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EPT
