EPTdon't try to know me - Page 5
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insectoceanx
United States331 Posts
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LuMiX
China5758 Posts
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crazyweasel
607 Posts
I know the title of this blog is don't try to know me but.... (at the same time you kinda ask for it...) seeing your taste in in tatoos, fashion, music i'd say you are pretty trendy/hipster and at the sametime you're an internetfag - you like starcraft (4chan terminology nothing about being gay, but i guess u already knew). I just get the feel you've invested alot of time being someone who isn't truly you. how can i say that? there is a huge gap : of you posting here and you in these photos. its like you're both part of the introvert and extravert worlds. alot of people do, and I know for myself suffered because I was not projecting (to others) the person I really were. you end up having this empty chasm where you cannot identify to who you are really. And psycatrist can help you with that. you did not mention if you were the intellectual type but here some autors who adress directly the concept of identity (which to my understanding at least is the core of "psychological disorders" or whatever you want to call them because lets face it you have one and you already know) : Lyotard and Foucault (they are reknown postmodernists) reading them helped me alot (foucault mostly) understanding the process through which individuals identify to society, things, peoples, communites and so on. maybe they can help you too. I wish you the best of luck, and I like your taste in women! | ||
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joeschmo
United States167 Posts
Brahmi Should give one of those a try. Also, quit the cigarettes! Just awful for the mind & body. later | ||
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konadora
Singapore66366 Posts
i had my share of depression for like a year, couple of years back. think that was when i almost entirely disappeared off TL. i always thought i was the "right" kind of guy. being courteous, being respectful, being thoughtful and caring for others etc etc. and honestly if i look back, i'd still say i was. but that was the kind of thinking that left myself broken when reality hit me and my old gf (i blogged about it a long time ago) just fucking shattered that. she fucked some other guy behind my back while we were still somewhat together (this i did not know until much later), though at that point of time things were already terribad because of so many circumstances. for one, she just left me emotionally once she got together with a new group of friends. i thought i was generic. boring. predictable. unexciting. so many thoughts ran through my mind, and that thinking plagued me for months. what is it that's making her not like me anymore. and all that months of negativity and dread just exploded once she broke it off. that was when i just lost it. i cut off contact with every single friend i had and escaped to korea for over a month. i spent every single saving i had on alcohol, went to the clubs and took drugs (never again), picked up smoking (2 packs a day at least, IM SORRY LILSUSIE I PROMISED I WONT SMOKE BUT I DID) and yet i was still feeling like shit. it's like i had lost my identity and myself. i didn't even know who i was anymore, and i didn't care either. i didn't care who i was, what was happening to me, or what i was going to become. luckily for me i just graduated from high school or else i would have just left school back then. i returned home but to me, it wasn't home anymore. it was just a place. i just couldn't be bothered with family, friends, or anything to do with real life. i started sleeping outside on the streets and on the rare times my friends somehow met me on the streets, i'd just pack up and walk away. long story short, that kept going on for a year. i'd tried everything to "relieve" myself from the pain, including cutting myself, jumping off my house (but miraculously only breaking a leg) and some other shit. but what eventually got me through was the realization that this had got to end, and that you are the change you want to be, nothing or no one else can. i eventually started my way back into sanity when i found out what my ex-gf was actually doing being my back during the times we were together, and that was just a sharp kick in my head. "this bitch didn't care about you back then, so why should you now!? get yourself together!". also, my friends stuck me through everything, giving me emotional support despite me ignoring their texts and all, and that really was one of the contributing factors. it's amazing how important having a good support network can be. it helps you bring back positivity into life, and that's somewhere where i believe you can start  start hanging out in a different environment, somewhere bright and light like in the mountains or by the sea on a nice sunny afternoon. spend some time with your loved ones and close friends, i'm sure they'll appreciate it as much. people who you can fully share your views and problems with, not those that will enforce their own views onto you. speaking out actually goes a long way in taking out that depressive thoughts from your head, even if it is a bit, as long as you keep on doing it. i started talking to my friends about my problems and the more i told them, the greater at ease i was talking about it, and the better i felt afterwards.another thing is, try doing something for yourself. give yourself a movie treat. go on a shopping splurge once in a while (retail therapy is actually somewhat effective lol i got myself some real nice watches, shoes, wallets and jackets during that period). try discovering something that you have not tried before or didn't have the chance to, such as travelling, yoga or other hobbies like photography (something i further expanded upon during that period, and now still do). it may help you discover (again) what you really are and what you really want for yourself. remember, you are living your life, and there is absolutely no reason you have to change to accommodate someone else's life, ESPECIALLY if it's making you unhappy. i hope my experience can somehow help you out. i love you boes. + Show Spoiler + suicide is not an option, you hear me! | ||
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WombaT
Northern Ireland27477 Posts
I was almost tempted to make a 'depression thread', not sure that we'd be the most motivated bunch when it comes to maintaining such a space mind  | ||
boesthius
United States11637 Posts
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boesthius
United States11637 Posts
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BigFan
TLADT24920 Posts
On May 03 2014 16:41 boesthius wrote: thanks for the suggestions! and it's hookah, albeit not much better ;-; I hate to intrude on other's comments but I figured I should make a mention just incase so I'll make this brief: + Show Spoiler + There isn't much data showing Ginkgo helps in depression and it also causes some bad side effects. Aside from that, since you're on meds, there is a chance your meds will interact with Ginkgo if you decide to try it (lower conc of meds so less effective or higher conc so more side effects depending on how Gingko works(what it inhibits, induces etc...)). I've never heard of Brahmi before so will look into that for my own knowledge lol. | ||
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