• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 01:31
CEST 07:31
KST 14:31
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Code S RO12 Preview: GuMiho, Bunny, SHIN, ByuN3The Memories We Share - Facing the Final(?) GSL19Code S RO12 Preview: Cure, Zoun, Solar, Creator4[ASL19] Finals Preview: Daunting Task30[ASL19] Ro4 Recap : The Peak15
Community News
Weekly Cups (May 19-25): Hindsight is 20/20?0DreamHack Dallas 2025 - Official Replay Pack8[BSL20] RO20 Group Stage2EWC 2025 Regional Qualifiers (May 28-June 1)17Weekly Cups (May 12-18): Clem sweeps WardiTV May3
StarCraft 2
General
Code S RO12 Preview: GuMiho, Bunny, SHIN, ByuN Can anyone explain to me why u cant veto a matchup The Memories We Share - Facing the Final(?) GSL Karma, Domino Effect, and how it relates to SC2. Code S RO12 Preview: Cure, Zoun, Solar, Creator
Tourneys
[GSL 2025] Code S:Season 2 - RO12 - Group B EWC 2025 Regional Qualifiers (May 28-June 1) DreamHack Dallas 2025 [GSL 2025] Code S:Season 2 - RO12 - Group A RSL: Revival, a new crowdfunded tournament series
Strategy
Connect with Key Decision-Makers Through Ready Mai Simple Questions Simple Answers [G] PvT Cheese: 13 Gate Proxy Robo
Custom Maps
[UMS] Zillion Zerglings
External Content
Mutation # 475 Hard Target Mutation # 474 Futile Resistance Mutation # 473 Cold is the Void Mutation # 472 Dead Heat
Brood War
General
Will foreigners ever be able to challenge Koreans? BGH auto balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ Battle.net is not working BW General Discussion Practice Partners (Official)
Tourneys
[ASL19] Grand Finals [BSL20] RO20 Group D - Sunday 20:00 CET [BSL20] RO20 Group B - Saturday 20:00 CET Small VOD Thread 2.0
Strategy
I am doing this better than progamers do. [G] How to get started on ladder as a new Z player
Other Games
General Games
Path of Exile Nintendo Switch Thread Monster Hunter Wilds Beyond All Reason Battle Aces/David Kim RTS Megathread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
LiquidLegends to reintegrate into TL.net
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers
Hearthstone
Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia TL Mafia Community Thread TL Mafia Plays: Diplomacy TL Mafia: Generative Agents Showdown Survivor II: The Amazon
Community
General
Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine US Politics Mega-thread All you football fans (soccer)! European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
Serral Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
[Manga] One Piece Movie Discussion!
Sports
2024 - 2025 Football Thread NHL Playoffs 2024 Formula 1 Discussion NBA General Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread Cleaning My Mechanical Keyboard How to clean a TTe Thermaltake keyboard?
TL Community
The Automated Ban List TL.net Ten Commandments
Blogs
Need Your Help/Advice
Glider
Trip to the Zoo
micronesia
Yes Sir! How Commanding Impr…
TrAiDoS
Poker
Nebuchad
Info SLEgma_12
SLEgma_12
SECOND COMMING
XenOsky
WombaT’s Old BW Terran Theme …
WombaT
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 23093 users

don't try to know me

Blogs > boesthius
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 Next All
boesthius
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States11637 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-09 13:34:31
April 09 2014 13:31 GMT
#1
--- Nuked ---

***
Promethelax
Profile Joined February 2012
Canada7089 Posts
April 09 2014 13:40 GMT
#2
Are you me?
TL Mafia. Love it. Play it. http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/index.php?show_part=31 I find Kennigit really attractive. If anyone has a picture of him please feel free to PM it to me.
Smix *
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States4549 Posts
April 09 2014 13:41 GMT
#3
sigh. fighting bocho i got really, really close a few times too. support system is so crucial.
really hope one day this fucker depression can be history for both of us
TranslatorBe an Optimist Prime, Not a Negatron // twitter @smixity
[MD]Frostbite
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
Canada292 Posts
April 09 2014 13:51 GMT
#4
Do you actually have that many tattoos? Thats pretty badass.
Good luck with the depression, I've had my low spots as well, just don't give up. Once you have given up, its really hard to try again.
White-Ra, the godfather Protoss
Carnivorous Sheep
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Baa?21242 Posts
April 09 2014 14:13 GMT
#5
ilu boes <3
TranslatorBaa!
NeThZOR
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
South Africa7387 Posts
April 09 2014 14:26 GMT
#6
I like your plugs. Don't keep on going bigger until your ears are gone though
SuperNova - 2015 | SKT1 fan for years | Dear, FlaSh, PartinG, Soulkey, Naniwa
Pandemona *
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Charlie Sheens House51463 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-09 15:24:53
April 09 2014 15:21 GMT
#7
Dat TLO beard doe!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice blog as usual just hope you come through this depression, but to me this is day 1 of your comeback trail!
Blog about your recovery if you can, i can see you want to get out of this and with your brother and now a good therapist i cant see you not.
ModeratorTeam Liquid Football Thread Guru! - Chelsea FC ♥
HackBenjamin
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Canada1094 Posts
April 09 2014 15:36 GMT
#8
SICK BEARD
Ctone23
Profile Blog Joined December 2012
United States1839 Posts
April 09 2014 15:39 GMT
#9
I went through a long period of depression. You're right, there is really no way for other people to understand. Most people are way too obsessed with themselves to care, and a lot of people who become depressed, got that way because they too cared about themselves way too much, how they look, etc.

I dug myself into depression for a number of reasons, far too many to explain, but essentially I was young, immature, and felt the world was against me. It's not something that ever truly leaves you, I think my experience will forever change the person I am, but I eventually found the positives, and just kept telling myself, "Things could always be worse". Doesn't sound like much, but I kept the mindset and started forcing myself into previously uncomfortable situations. For example, I have never been into fashion, other than just normal, classic American blue-jean style. No offense to anyone who does, but I had this mindset that because I wasn't like everyone else, that I had no chance of meeting that special girl, and therefore locked myself in.

I can't say what exactly turned me away from this mindset, but I just kept telling myself that eventually things would be okay. I focused less on how I looked and was perceived and more on how I interact with people. I realized I cannot control what newly met people think about me, and for the first time in a while, I really didn't care. This was a snowball effect for me, the more and more I realized how much was out of my control, the more I began taking control of myself, finally starting to exude confidence to others around me.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that what you have experienced cannot leave you, but that is perfectly okay. Just keep doing you, you don't have a lot of time on this rock, jump into the action!
TL+ Member
ffadicted
Profile Joined January 2011
United States3545 Posts
April 09 2014 15:51 GMT
#10
Sojin is so perfect tbqh
SooYoung-Noona!
Grettin
Profile Joined April 2010
42381 Posts
April 09 2014 16:18 GMT
#11
beard suits you.
"If I had force-fields in Brood War, I'd never lose." -Bisu
NeuroticPsychosis
Profile Blog Joined September 2013
United States322 Posts
April 09 2014 16:34 GMT
#12
You seem pretty tall
intricate, elaborate, articulate, crystallize, conceptualize, synthesize
Firebolt145
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Lalalaland34486 Posts
April 09 2014 16:51 GMT
#13
<3
Moderator
FuDDx *
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
United States5008 Posts
April 09 2014 16:54 GMT
#14
I wish I could keep facial hair...I always get tired of it after some time...I am envious of your beard!

I also always enjoy seeing/hearing others music!! Hope to find some that resonate with me!!
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Balloon-Man-FuDD/237447769616965?ref=hl
MaGariShun
Profile Joined May 2010
Austria305 Posts
April 09 2014 17:02 GMT
#15
Sunn O))) and BM probably isn't what you should be listening to to get out of depression ; )

Have you tried taking SSRI? I can't say that I was as deep in depression as you are, but I had a depressive episode 2 years ago (about 6 months long) and the meds really worked and pulled me out of it. There can be some side effects, anorgasmia seems to be common, had that too, but they are worth it I think. Be careful if you are suicidal though, cause they seem to have a motivating effect in the period before the mood heightening effect kicks in. Having someone to talk too is important too, I'm glad that you have your brother.
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-09 17:07:25
April 09 2014 17:03 GMT
#16
Oh shit, I love these blogs. Those are some sick tats too O.o

EDIT: That wasn't you, lol. Also keep at the depression, you'll beat it man.
User was warned for too many mimes.
Omnishroud
Profile Blog Joined November 2013
1073 Posts
April 09 2014 17:11 GMT
#17
Your taste in women is su-fucking-perb.

Good luck with everything you do
Omni = Capped (RIP TL Account) - LoL EUW: Capped92 - EU Bnet: Capped#1137 - Steam: Capped92
Dazed.
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Canada3301 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-09 17:26:26
April 09 2014 17:22 GMT
#18
If your depression is severe enough to result in two suicide attempts, and the medication isnt working (which i presume your on?) you might want to look into ECT. It's an 'extreme' measure, but your obviously in an extreme circumstance, and its not like one flies over the cuckoos nest. Its humane.
Never say Die! ||| Fight you? No, I want to kill you.
Destructicon
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
4713 Posts
April 09 2014 17:30 GMT
#19
Damn man, you are right about one thing, I probably don't know you nor can I try to do so. What you have been trough is orders of magnitude worst then anything I've ever experienced. And even though I don't know you personally I must say, I feel really sorry to hear what you are going trough and I sincerely wish you the best of luck going forward.

Its good that you found support in your brother and its excellent that you've come to realize you need someone's support. I can't say our situations are in any way similar, but, when I was younger I was very closed, introverted and lonely but thankfully my best friend, which I consider as close to me as a brother sort of helped me change and open up in time.

Again not saying its at all a similar situation, I wanted to just underline that having someone close to you can be a big deal and it can go a long way in helping, maybe more then you can imagine.

Take care and good luck.
WriterNever give up, never surrender! https://www.youtube.com/user/DestructiconSC
sertman
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States540 Posts
April 09 2014 17:30 GMT
#20
Hey man, I've also come extremely close to suicide numerous times in my life. Depression is a bitch! However, I cannot emphasize enough how much therapy can help you. I found a great psychiatrist who worked with me to rebuild my worldview and everyday perceptions. I'm sorry to hear that you've had bad experiences in the past with counseling, but please don't give up, it might take a while and it will be a painful process, but you will come out of it on the other side a more mentally healthy person.

I always love reading your blogs, please keep writing
1 2 3 4 5 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 3h 29m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
Nina 205
StarCraft: Brood War
TY 3396
Mind 81
ToSsGirL 60
Shinee 24
Noble 17
JulyZerg 1
League of Legends
JimRising 737
Counter-Strike
Stewie2K538
Super Smash Bros
Mew2King126
Heroes of the Storm
Khaldor122
Other Games
summit1g7791
C9.Mang0472
Skadoodle183
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick793
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 16 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• practicex 97
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• RayReign 120
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Doublelift4029
• Lourlo1065
• Stunt339
• HappyZerGling108
Upcoming Events
Road to EWC
3h 29m
Road to EWC
4h 29m
Road to EWC
16h 29m
Road to EWC
1d 3h
Road to EWC
1d 10h
BSL Season 20
1d 12h
Sziky vs Razz
Sziky vs StRyKeR
Sziky vs DragOn
Sziky vs Tech
Razz vs StRyKeR
Razz vs DragOn
Razz vs Tech
DragOn vs Tech
Online Event
1d 22h
Clem vs ShoWTimE
herO vs MaxPax
Road to EWC
2 days
BSL Season 20
2 days
Bonyth vs Doodle
Bonyth vs izu
Bonyth vs MadiNho
Bonyth vs TerrOr
MadiNho vs TerrOr
Doodle vs izu
Doodle vs MadiNho
Doodle vs TerrOr
Replay Cast
2 days
[ Show More ]
Replay Cast
3 days
Replay Cast
4 days
The PondCast
6 days
Replay Cast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2025-05-28
DreamHack Dallas 2025
Calamity Stars S2

Ongoing

JPL Season 2
BSL Season 20
KCM Race Survival 2025 Season 2
NPSL S3
Rose Open S1
CSL Season 17: Qualifier 1
2025 GSL S2
Heroes 10 EU
ESL Impact League Season 7
IEM Dallas 2025
PGL Astana 2025
Asian Champions League '25
ECL Season 49: Europe
BLAST Rivals Spring 2025
MESA Nomadic Masters
CCT Season 2 Global Finals
IEM Melbourne 2025
YaLLa Compass Qatar 2025
PGL Bucharest 2025
BLAST Open Spring 2025

Upcoming

CSL Season 17: Qualifier 2
CSL 17: 2025 SUMMER
Copa Latinoamericana 4
CSLPRO Last Chance 2025
CSLAN 2025
K-Championship
SEL Season 2 Championship
Esports World Cup 2025
HSC XXVII
Championship of Russia 2025
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall Qual
IEM Cologne 2025
FISSURE Playground #1
BLAST.tv Austin Major 2025
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.