• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 11:53
CET 17:53
KST 01:53
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
RSL Revival - 2025 Season Finals Preview8RSL Season 3 - Playoffs Preview0RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups C & D Preview0RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups A & B Preview2TL.net Map Contest #21: Winners12
Community News
Weekly Cups (Jan 5-11): Clem wins big offline, Trigger upsets3$21,000 Rongyi Cup Season 3 announced (Jan 22-Feb 7)15Weekly Cups (Dec 29-Jan 4): Protoss rolls, 2v2 returns7[BSL21] Non-Korean Championship - Starts Jan 103SC2 All-Star Invitational: Jan 17-1825
StarCraft 2
General
SC2 All-Star Invitational: Jan 17-18 Weekly Cups (Jan 5-11): Clem wins big offline, Trigger upsets When will we find out if there are more tournament SC2 Spotted on the EWC 2026 list? Weekly Cups (Dec 29-Jan 4): Protoss rolls, 2v2 returns
Tourneys
Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament SC2 AI Tournament 2026 $21,000 Rongyi Cup Season 3 announced (Jan 22-Feb 7) $25,000 Streamerzone StarCraft Pro Series announced WardiTV Winter Cup
Strategy
Simple Questions Simple Answers
Custom Maps
Map Editor closed ?
External Content
Mutation # 508 Violent Night Mutation # 507 Well Trained Mutation # 506 Warp Zone Mutation # 505 Rise From Ashes
Brood War
General
BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ [ASL21] Potential Map Candidates BW General Discussion A cwal.gg Extension - Easily keep track of anyone Potential ASL qualifier breakthroughs?
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues [BSL21] Grand Finals - Sunday 21:00 CET [BSL21] Non-Korean Championship - Starts Jan 10 SLON Grand Finals – Season 2
Strategy
Game Theory for Starcraft Simple Questions, Simple Answers Current Meta [G] How to get started on ladder as a new Z player
Other Games
General Games
Beyond All Reason Nintendo Switch Thread Awesome Games Done Quick 2026! Mechabellum Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread Trading/Investing Thread
Fan Clubs
White-Ra Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
My 2025 Magic: The Gathering…
DARKING
Physical Exercise (HIIT) Bef…
TrAiDoS
Life Update and thoughts.
FuDDx
How do archons sleep?
8882
James Bond movies ranking - pa…
Topin
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 2273 users

don't try to know me

Blogs > boesthius
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 Next All
boesthius
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States11637 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-09 13:34:31
April 09 2014 13:31 GMT
#1
--- Nuked ---

***
Promethelax
Profile Joined February 2012
Canada7089 Posts
April 09 2014 13:40 GMT
#2
Are you me?
TL Mafia. Love it. Play it. http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/index.php?show_part=31 I find Kennigit really attractive. If anyone has a picture of him please feel free to PM it to me.
Smix *
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States4549 Posts
April 09 2014 13:41 GMT
#3
sigh. fighting bocho i got really, really close a few times too. support system is so crucial.
really hope one day this fucker depression can be history for both of us
TranslatorBe an Optimist Prime, Not a Negatron // twitter @smixity
[MD]Frostbite
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
Canada292 Posts
April 09 2014 13:51 GMT
#4
Do you actually have that many tattoos? Thats pretty badass.
Good luck with the depression, I've had my low spots as well, just don't give up. Once you have given up, its really hard to try again.
White-Ra, the godfather Protoss
Carnivorous Sheep
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Baa?21244 Posts
April 09 2014 14:13 GMT
#5
ilu boes <3
TranslatorBaa!
NeThZOR
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
South Africa7387 Posts
April 09 2014 14:26 GMT
#6
I like your plugs. Don't keep on going bigger until your ears are gone though
SuperNova - 2015 | SKT1 fan for years | Dear, FlaSh, PartinG, Soulkey, Naniwa
Pandemona *
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Charlie Sheens House51493 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-09 15:24:53
April 09 2014 15:21 GMT
#7
Dat TLO beard doe!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice blog as usual just hope you come through this depression, but to me this is day 1 of your comeback trail!
Blog about your recovery if you can, i can see you want to get out of this and with your brother and now a good therapist i cant see you not.
ModeratorTeam Liquid Football Thread Guru! - Chelsea FC ♥
HackBenjamin
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Canada1094 Posts
April 09 2014 15:36 GMT
#8
SICK BEARD
Ctone23
Profile Blog Joined December 2012
United States1839 Posts
April 09 2014 15:39 GMT
#9
I went through a long period of depression. You're right, there is really no way for other people to understand. Most people are way too obsessed with themselves to care, and a lot of people who become depressed, got that way because they too cared about themselves way too much, how they look, etc.

I dug myself into depression for a number of reasons, far too many to explain, but essentially I was young, immature, and felt the world was against me. It's not something that ever truly leaves you, I think my experience will forever change the person I am, but I eventually found the positives, and just kept telling myself, "Things could always be worse". Doesn't sound like much, but I kept the mindset and started forcing myself into previously uncomfortable situations. For example, I have never been into fashion, other than just normal, classic American blue-jean style. No offense to anyone who does, but I had this mindset that because I wasn't like everyone else, that I had no chance of meeting that special girl, and therefore locked myself in.

I can't say what exactly turned me away from this mindset, but I just kept telling myself that eventually things would be okay. I focused less on how I looked and was perceived and more on how I interact with people. I realized I cannot control what newly met people think about me, and for the first time in a while, I really didn't care. This was a snowball effect for me, the more and more I realized how much was out of my control, the more I began taking control of myself, finally starting to exude confidence to others around me.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that what you have experienced cannot leave you, but that is perfectly okay. Just keep doing you, you don't have a lot of time on this rock, jump into the action!
TL+ Member
ffadicted
Profile Joined January 2011
United States3545 Posts
April 09 2014 15:51 GMT
#10
Sojin is so perfect tbqh
SooYoung-Noona!
Grettin
Profile Joined April 2010
42381 Posts
April 09 2014 16:18 GMT
#11
beard suits you.
"If I had force-fields in Brood War, I'd never lose." -Bisu
NeuroticPsychosis
Profile Blog Joined September 2013
United States322 Posts
April 09 2014 16:34 GMT
#12
You seem pretty tall
intricate, elaborate, articulate, crystallize, conceptualize, synthesize
Firebolt145
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Lalalaland34499 Posts
April 09 2014 16:51 GMT
#13
<3
Moderator
FuDDx *
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
United States5010 Posts
April 09 2014 16:54 GMT
#14
I wish I could keep facial hair...I always get tired of it after some time...I am envious of your beard!

I also always enjoy seeing/hearing others music!! Hope to find some that resonate with me!!
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Balloon-Man-FuDD/237447769616965?ref=hl
MaGariShun
Profile Joined May 2010
Austria305 Posts
April 09 2014 17:02 GMT
#15
Sunn O))) and BM probably isn't what you should be listening to to get out of depression ; )

Have you tried taking SSRI? I can't say that I was as deep in depression as you are, but I had a depressive episode 2 years ago (about 6 months long) and the meds really worked and pulled me out of it. There can be some side effects, anorgasmia seems to be common, had that too, but they are worth it I think. Be careful if you are suicidal though, cause they seem to have a motivating effect in the period before the mood heightening effect kicks in. Having someone to talk too is important too, I'm glad that you have your brother.
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-09 17:07:25
April 09 2014 17:03 GMT
#16
Oh shit, I love these blogs. Those are some sick tats too O.o

EDIT: That wasn't you, lol. Also keep at the depression, you'll beat it man.
User was warned for too many mimes.
Omnishroud
Profile Blog Joined November 2013
1073 Posts
April 09 2014 17:11 GMT
#17
Your taste in women is su-fucking-perb.

Good luck with everything you do
Omni = Capped (RIP TL Account) - LoL EUW: Capped92 - EU Bnet: Capped#1137 - Steam: Capped92
Dazed.
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Canada3301 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-09 17:26:26
April 09 2014 17:22 GMT
#18
If your depression is severe enough to result in two suicide attempts, and the medication isnt working (which i presume your on?) you might want to look into ECT. It's an 'extreme' measure, but your obviously in an extreme circumstance, and its not like one flies over the cuckoos nest. Its humane.
Never say Die! ||| Fight you? No, I want to kill you.
Destructicon
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
4713 Posts
April 09 2014 17:30 GMT
#19
Damn man, you are right about one thing, I probably don't know you nor can I try to do so. What you have been trough is orders of magnitude worst then anything I've ever experienced. And even though I don't know you personally I must say, I feel really sorry to hear what you are going trough and I sincerely wish you the best of luck going forward.

Its good that you found support in your brother and its excellent that you've come to realize you need someone's support. I can't say our situations are in any way similar, but, when I was younger I was very closed, introverted and lonely but thankfully my best friend, which I consider as close to me as a brother sort of helped me change and open up in time.

Again not saying its at all a similar situation, I wanted to just underline that having someone close to you can be a big deal and it can go a long way in helping, maybe more then you can imagine.

Take care and good luck.
WriterNever give up, never surrender! https://www.youtube.com/user/DestructiconSC
sertman
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States540 Posts
April 09 2014 17:30 GMT
#20
Hey man, I've also come extremely close to suicide numerous times in my life. Depression is a bitch! However, I cannot emphasize enough how much therapy can help you. I found a great psychiatrist who worked with me to rebuild my worldview and everyday perceptions. I'm sorry to hear that you've had bad experiences in the past with counseling, but please don't give up, it might take a while and it will be a painful process, but you will come out of it on the other side a more mentally healthy person.

I always love reading your blogs, please keep writing
1 2 3 4 5 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 17h 7m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
Lowko763
Harstem 393
TKL 167
BRAT_OK 67
DivinesiaTV 19
MindelVK 19
StarCraft: Brood War
Shuttle 758
Light 222
Mong 207
hero 172
Rush 149
Hyuk 125
Hyun 122
Snow 114
Zeus 75
Barracks 60
[ Show more ]
Rock 35
JYJ 23
GoRush 21
910 20
Yoon 17
Bale 9
Noble 5
Dota 2
qojqva2280
syndereN423
BananaSlamJamma119
Counter-Strike
fl0m2350
Foxcn465
byalli347
adren_tv57
Other Games
singsing1866
Liquid`RaSZi1553
B2W.Neo1286
FrodaN1001
hiko749
Hui .321
ArmadaUGS262
ceh9224
DeMusliM153
QueenE149
oskar92
Mew2King63
KnowMe30
Organizations
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 17 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• poizon28 26
• iHatsuTV 5
• Kozan
• Migwel
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• sooper7s
• intothetv
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
StarCraft: Brood War
• HerbMon 13
• FirePhoenix3
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Dota 2
• C_a_k_e 2601
League of Legends
• TFBlade937
• Shiphtur151
Upcoming Events
The PondCast
17h 7m
OSC
19h 7m
Jumy vs sebesdes
Nicoract vs GgMaChine
ReBellioN vs MaNa
Lemon vs TriGGeR
Gerald vs Cure
Creator vs SHIN
OSC
1d 19h
All Star Teams
2 days
INnoVation vs soO
Serral vs herO
Cure vs Solar
sOs vs Scarlett
Classic vs Clem
Reynor vs Maru
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
2 days
All Star Teams
3 days
MMA vs DongRaeGu
Rogue vs Oliveira
Sparkling Tuna Cup
3 days
OSC
3 days
Replay Cast
4 days
Wardi Open
4 days
[ Show More ]
Monday Night Weeklies
5 days
The PondCast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-01-13
Big Gabe Cup #3
NA Kuram Kup

Ongoing

C-Race Season 1
IPSL Winter 2025-26
BSL 21 Non-Korean Championship
CSL 2025 WINTER (S19)
OSC Championship Season 13
Underdog Cup #3
BLAST Bounty Winter Qual
eXTREMESLAND 2025
SL Budapest Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 8
BLAST Rivals Fall 2025
IEM Chengdu 2025
PGL Masters Bucharest 2025

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S1: W4
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2026
HSC XXVIII
Rongyi Cup S3
SC2 All-Star Inv. 2025
Nations Cup 2026
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League Season 23
ESL Pro League Season 23
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.