• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 10:06
CEST 16:06
KST 23:06
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL22] Ro16 Preview: Holy Diver4[ASL22] Ro16 Preview: Rough Waters10[ASL22] Ro24 Preview: Siren's Call8[ASL22] Ro24 Preview: Summer's End9Serral wins HomeStory Cup 2915
Community News
Weekly Cups (Sep 7-12): SHIN, ByuN, MaxPax double down0StarCraft open world shooter announced at BlizzCon98Weekly Cups (Aug 30-Sep 7): herO thrives amid growing schism10Official StarCraft website teases new content ahead of BlizzCon?178Stellar Fest TWO the Moon (Dec 16-20)9
StarCraft 2
General
Blizzard Classic Cup @ BlizzCon 2026 - $100k prize pool How do you feel about the StarCraft shooter announcement at BlizzCon 2026? StarCraft open world shooter announced at BlizzCon Weekly Cups (Sep 7-12): SHIN, ByuN, MaxPax double down Balance hotfix patch 5.0.16b (July 16)
Tourneys
RSL Revival: Season 6 - Qualifiers and Main Event RSL goes to London! 2026 Offline Finals Nov 21-22 SC2 AI Tournament 2026 Fall Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament KSL Week #92
Strategy
[G] Having the right mentality to improve
Custom Maps
Nexus Wars 2021 GUIDE [M] (2) Industrial Park
External Content
Mutation # 543 Enhanced Defenses The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 542 The Ascended Mutation # 541 Binary Choice
Brood War
General
Remastered crash fix suggestions Official StarCraft website teases new content ahead of BlizzCon? New 3v3 BGH Ladder (and more) on ShieldBattery! [D] Brainstorming a balance patch for Brood war Making an Online Broodwar Manager Game
Tourneys
[ASL22] Ro16 Group D [ASL22] Ro16 Group C [Megathread] Daily Proleagues [ASL22] Ro16 Group B
Strategy
Replay Review Process - What do you do? Simple Questions, Simple Answers Odyssey Mineral Stack Saturation Game Theory for Starcraft
Other Games
General Games
Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread EVE Corporation Diablo IV
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
[TL LoL EUW IHs] Teemo shall perish
Heroes of the Storm
Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Artificial Intelligence Thread UK Politics Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine
Fan Clubs
MarineLorD Fan Club The Creator Fan Club The ShoWTimE Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
[Manga] One Piece Movie Discussion! Diablo Animated Series on Netflix
Sports
Football (Soccer) Thread TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 MLB/Baseball 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List Northern Ireland Global Starcraft
Blogs
Virtual Romance, Real-Life C…
TrAiDoS
Regacy Esports:Our Goa…
regacyesports
Dreaming of BW patches (mod…
c3rberUs
LOCKPICKING NOOB
LUCKY_NOOB
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 8847 users

don't try to know me

Blogs > boesthius
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 Next All
boesthius
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States11637 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-09 13:34:31
April 09 2014 13:31 GMT
#1
--- Nuked ---

***
Promethelax
Profile Joined February 2012
Canada7089 Posts
April 09 2014 13:40 GMT
#2
Are you me?
TL Mafia. Love it. Play it. http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/index.php?show_part=31 I find Kennigit really attractive. If anyone has a picture of him please feel free to PM it to me.
Smix *
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States4549 Posts
April 09 2014 13:41 GMT
#3
sigh. fighting bocho i got really, really close a few times too. support system is so crucial.
really hope one day this fucker depression can be history for both of us
TranslatorBe an Optimist Prime, Not a Negatron // twitter @smixity
[MD]Frostbite
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
Canada292 Posts
April 09 2014 13:51 GMT
#4
Do you actually have that many tattoos? Thats pretty badass.
Good luck with the depression, I've had my low spots as well, just don't give up. Once you have given up, its really hard to try again.
White-Ra, the godfather Protoss
Carnivorous Sheep
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Baa?21247 Posts
April 09 2014 14:13 GMT
#5
ilu boes <3
TranslatorBaa!
NeThZOR
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
South Africa7387 Posts
April 09 2014 14:26 GMT
#6
I like your plugs. Don't keep on going bigger until your ears are gone though
SuperNova - 2015 | SKT1 fan for years | Dear, FlaSh, PartinG, Soulkey, Naniwa
Pandemona *
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Charlie Sheens House51493 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-09 15:24:53
April 09 2014 15:21 GMT
#7
Dat TLO beard doe!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice blog as usual just hope you come through this depression, but to me this is day 1 of your comeback trail!
Blog about your recovery if you can, i can see you want to get out of this and with your brother and now a good therapist i cant see you not.
ModeratorTeam Liquid Football Thread Guru! - Chelsea FC ♥
HackBenjamin
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Canada1094 Posts
April 09 2014 15:36 GMT
#8
SICK BEARD
Ctone23
Profile Blog Joined December 2012
United States1841 Posts
April 09 2014 15:39 GMT
#9
I went through a long period of depression. You're right, there is really no way for other people to understand. Most people are way too obsessed with themselves to care, and a lot of people who become depressed, got that way because they too cared about themselves way too much, how they look, etc.

I dug myself into depression for a number of reasons, far too many to explain, but essentially I was young, immature, and felt the world was against me. It's not something that ever truly leaves you, I think my experience will forever change the person I am, but I eventually found the positives, and just kept telling myself, "Things could always be worse". Doesn't sound like much, but I kept the mindset and started forcing myself into previously uncomfortable situations. For example, I have never been into fashion, other than just normal, classic American blue-jean style. No offense to anyone who does, but I had this mindset that because I wasn't like everyone else, that I had no chance of meeting that special girl, and therefore locked myself in.

I can't say what exactly turned me away from this mindset, but I just kept telling myself that eventually things would be okay. I focused less on how I looked and was perceived and more on how I interact with people. I realized I cannot control what newly met people think about me, and for the first time in a while, I really didn't care. This was a snowball effect for me, the more and more I realized how much was out of my control, the more I began taking control of myself, finally starting to exude confidence to others around me.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that what you have experienced cannot leave you, but that is perfectly okay. Just keep doing you, you don't have a lot of time on this rock, jump into the action!
TL+ Member
ffadicted
Profile Joined January 2011
United States3545 Posts
April 09 2014 15:51 GMT
#10
Sojin is so perfect tbqh
SooYoung-Noona!
Grettin
Profile Joined April 2010
42416 Posts
April 09 2014 16:18 GMT
#11
beard suits you.
"If I had force-fields in Brood War, I'd never lose." -Bisu
NeuroticPsychosis
Profile Blog Joined September 2013
United States322 Posts
April 09 2014 16:34 GMT
#12
You seem pretty tall
intricate, elaborate, articulate, crystallize, conceptualize, synthesize
Firebolt145
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Lalalaland34507 Posts
April 09 2014 16:51 GMT
#13
<3
Moderator
FuDDx *
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
United States5018 Posts
April 09 2014 16:54 GMT
#14
I wish I could keep facial hair...I always get tired of it after some time...I am envious of your beard!

I also always enjoy seeing/hearing others music!! Hope to find some that resonate with me!!
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Balloon-Man-FuDD/237447769616965?ref=hl
MaGariShun
Profile Joined May 2010
Austria305 Posts
April 09 2014 17:02 GMT
#15
Sunn O))) and BM probably isn't what you should be listening to to get out of depression ; )

Have you tried taking SSRI? I can't say that I was as deep in depression as you are, but I had a depressive episode 2 years ago (about 6 months long) and the meds really worked and pulled me out of it. There can be some side effects, anorgasmia seems to be common, had that too, but they are worth it I think. Be careful if you are suicidal though, cause they seem to have a motivating effect in the period before the mood heightening effect kicks in. Having someone to talk too is important too, I'm glad that you have your brother.
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-09 17:07:25
April 09 2014 17:03 GMT
#16
Oh shit, I love these blogs. Those are some sick tats too O.o

EDIT: That wasn't you, lol. Also keep at the depression, you'll beat it man.
User was warned for too many mimes.
Omnishroud
Profile Blog Joined November 2013
1073 Posts
April 09 2014 17:11 GMT
#17
Your taste in women is su-fucking-perb.

Good luck with everything you do
Omni = Capped (RIP TL Account) - LoL EUW: Capped92 - EU Bnet: Capped#1137 - Steam: Capped92
Dazed.
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Canada3301 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-09 17:26:26
April 09 2014 17:22 GMT
#18
If your depression is severe enough to result in two suicide attempts, and the medication isnt working (which i presume your on?) you might want to look into ECT. It's an 'extreme' measure, but your obviously in an extreme circumstance, and its not like one flies over the cuckoos nest. Its humane.
Never say Die! ||| Fight you? No, I want to kill you.
Destructicon
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
4713 Posts
April 09 2014 17:30 GMT
#19
Damn man, you are right about one thing, I probably don't know you nor can I try to do so. What you have been trough is orders of magnitude worst then anything I've ever experienced. And even though I don't know you personally I must say, I feel really sorry to hear what you are going trough and I sincerely wish you the best of luck going forward.

Its good that you found support in your brother and its excellent that you've come to realize you need someone's support. I can't say our situations are in any way similar, but, when I was younger I was very closed, introverted and lonely but thankfully my best friend, which I consider as close to me as a brother sort of helped me change and open up in time.

Again not saying its at all a similar situation, I wanted to just underline that having someone close to you can be a big deal and it can go a long way in helping, maybe more then you can imagine.

Take care and good luck.
WriterNever give up, never surrender! https://www.youtube.com/user/DestructiconSC
sertman
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States540 Posts
April 09 2014 17:30 GMT
#20
Hey man, I've also come extremely close to suicide numerous times in my life. Depression is a bitch! However, I cannot emphasize enough how much therapy can help you. I found a great psychiatrist who worked with me to rebuild my worldview and everyday perceptions. I'm sorry to hear that you've had bad experiences in the past with counseling, but please don't give up, it might take a while and it will be a painful process, but you will come out of it on the other side a more mentally healthy person.

I always love reading your blogs, please keep writing
1 2 3 4 5 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
GSL
11:00
2026 GSTL: Wild Card
IntoTheiNu 862
Classic 147
CranKy Ducklings SOOP129
ByuN (SOOP) 98
Rex53
Solar (SOOP)33
LiquipediaDiscussion
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
Classic 147
ProTech133
ByuN (SOOP) 98
Rex 53
Solar (SOOP) 33
StarCraft: Brood War
Bisu 2713
Jaedong 1509
Soulkey 1215
Leta 1181
Horang2 749
BeSt 575
Mini 425
Rush 341
actioN 292
Stork 202
[ Show more ]
Soma 200
firebathero 196
Larva 185
ggaemo 170
Pusan 108
Zeus 105
Barracks 75
hero 58
soO 44
ToSsGirL 37
PianO 33
sSak 29
Killer 28
HiyA 23
sorry 23
Sexy 23
Noble 16
Terrorterran 12
ajuk12(nOOB) 10
scan(afreeca) 10
JulyZerg 9
Dewaltoss 8
Icarus 7
Sacsri 7
Liquid`Ret 6
Britney 0
Dota 2
Dendi1817
syndereN323
420jenkins188
Fuzer 143
League of Legends
Reynor119
Super Smash Bros
Mew2King111
Other Games
Grubby8860
singsing2881
olofmeister1785
hiko714
Lowko421
DeMusliM238
Liquid`VortiX170
ArmadaUGS57
QueenE49
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick918
BasetradeTV58
[ Show 13 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• Migwel
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• C_a_k_e 4328
• WagamamaTV711
League of Legends
• Jankos2581
• Nemesis1751
• TFBlade823
Upcoming Events
PiGosaur Cup
9h 54m
The PondCast
19h 54m
Kung Fu Cup
20h 54m
Replay Cast
1d 9h
KCM Race Survival
1d 19h
IntoTheTV X SOOP
1d 20h
Replay Cast
2 days
IntoTheTV X SOOP
2 days
Replay Cast
3 days
GSL
3 days
[ Show More ]
Replay Cast
4 days
GSL
4 days
Shopify Rebellion Sundays
5 days
Spirit vs Mixu
Replay Cast
5 days
WardiTV Weekly
5 days
Monday Night Weeklies
6 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-09-14
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
Big Dog Cup 2026 Div 1

Ongoing

KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 3
K-JUNGMAN
ASL Season 22
Super Anchor Qualifying S3
CSL 2026 AUTUMN (S22)
Acropolis #5
Calamity Invitational
FISSURE Playground #3
BLAST Open Fall 2026
Esports World Cup 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3
XSE Pro League 2026

Upcoming

Acropolis #5 - GSA
Acropolis #5 - GSB
Acropolis #5 - GSC
SC4ALL II: Brood War
HSC XXX
Stellar Fest 2: Lunar Cup
SC4ALL II: StarCraft II
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
RSL Offline Finals
Copium Cup
PGL Major Singapore 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 6
BLAST Rivals Fall 2026
IEM Beijing 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 5
PGL Masters Bucharest 2026
1win Private Club #2
Thunderpick World Champ. '26
ESL Pro League Season 24
Stake Ranked Episode 4
1win Private Club #1
Logitech G Play Connect 2026
SL StarSeries Fall 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.