Just kidding. See, you thought you had cancer for a second, and now everything else doesn't seem quite as bad. Now you see the entire world in the perspective of being relative to potentially having a battle with cancer of the tibia.
But if you're like many of the people in the world, your thought process was like "There goes crazy ol' Nina again with her try-hard humor failing hard", well fuck you, dumbass. Uh. Also, some people would go "Well, geez, I don't feel better at all. You just almost gave me a heart-attack and stressed me out, and I still have problems!" whereas, the above would make them go "Wow, I never thought of that before, thanxxxx!" and you know what? That's normal.
The point is, your experience isn't everyone else's experience.
This should be glaringly obvious, but you see, my friends, there are certain individuals who have taken it upon themselves to hand down glorious breadcrumbs of wisdom to their fellow men from their golden cloud of knowledge when it comes to relationships with women. I find myself face-palming occasionally, and I mean actually face-palming. So in this analysis, we're going to examine several types of relationship problems, and then I'm going to offer some advice of my own that is going to rock your world. But first, we must establish a few terms.
A woman is a rare type of pokemon that you can only capture with a master ball. Search the area around the Cerulean City and you might find a mysterious cave which you will enter... this is known as the "vagina".
What is a blog?
Blogs were invented by computer geeks keeping web-logs where they would talk about programming and stuff and web 1.0 but has turned into a clusterfuck of human thoughts plastering themselves all over some virtual reality.
Now that that's out of the way, let's look at some various problems:
There is a girl I like, but we've never spoken to each other and I'm not sure she knows I exist.
There is a girl I like, but we barely know each other and I think she has a boyfriend.
There is a girl I like, but she definitely has a boyfriend.
There is a girl I like, but she is a vocaloid.
There is a girl I like, but we are just friends and have been for years.
There is a girl I like, but we are just fuck-buddies and I'm falling in love with her even though she doesn't want anything serious.
There is a girl I like, but I smoke crack.
Do you see the pattern!? So you see, with all patterns, there is a natural human tendency to believe two very easy fallacies: first, that the pattern is universal, and second, that the pattern is ever-continuous. The first false pattern manifests itself by those who believe it as an axiomatic tendency to believe that if x=1, then ALL variables will equal 1. For example, you place a banana in a blender and chop it up. It works. Then you place a steak into a blender and chop it into a disgusting pink sludge. It works. So you assume that you can just chop up anything in the blender, and stick a garden shovel into your blender, and then bad things happen.
How does this apply to relationship advice? Simply put: not one size fits all. Someone else's advice might not fit your situation, and is therefore, essentially useless. Most people know this, which is why they give vague advice to encourage you. The more specific or dogmatic the advice is, the more prone to error it may be for you. I'm not saying the advice is erroneous to the person giving it, but they are not you, so what works for them may not work for you, especially when it comes to specifics. For example, if they have a charming smile, they would recommend smiling a lot, but if your smile is creepy and weird, then it might be best if you just put a bag over your head.
The second pattern that is a lie is that if something becomes a pattern, that this pattern will continue indefinitely. This is obviously wrong because if it were true, a kitten would grow into a cat, and then the cat would continue growing until it escapes the Earth's atmosphere and becomes its own celestial body. This logic is often painfully ignored by people who work in finance, because they latch onto market bubbles which often burst and lose money. This is especially painful if you have trouble with relationships, because once you have a few disappointments, it can feel like the world is against you. And perhaps the world is against you. If so, good. Then you can Courage-Wolf it, which I will explain shortly.
You may find yourself saying or hearing things like "All women only care about money", or "All bitches is hoes", or "All my ex-girlfriends say I'm the reason they turned into lesbians". So first of all, you have to do the unthinkable and bury your past experiences in the ground. A good way to do this would be to find a picture of your crushes, ex-gfs, ex-bfs, friendzone friends, and so on, and print a picture of their face onto some paper. Then take the pictures outside, and dig a little hole in the ground with a regular garden shovel. Then, set each picture on fire, and bury the ashes in the in the pit and then stomp on it. Don't let anyone see you do this, or they will think you are psychotic. If anyone sees you buying the garden shovel and they know you and say "Hey, what's the shovel for?", just look off into the distance, as if you are lost in some hateful memory of undying revenge and say in a quiet, almost-whisper voice "I have business to take care of." This act will only work if you give it meaning. A great way to give something meaning is to invest money into it. Also, remember! You're killing bad memories, not actual people.
My advice #1: Your advice sucks ass
If you see someone writing a girl blog, you may want to give some advice. But your advice probably sucks, especially if you're a big tough alpha-male who wants to educate all the wimps on the internet who get all caught up on their "feelings" like a bunch of pussies. If you find yourself typing out stuff like "Grow some balls", "You sound entitled", "No girl is gonna want a wimp for a boyfriend", "Man up", "Don't put pussy on a pedestal", or "Invest in chloroform", then I want you to take your PC and throw it onto concrete very very hard once, or several times until it breaks and can no longer function. This will effectively prevent you from accessing the internet and sharing your advice for at least a few hours, depending on how rich you are.
It's okay for guys to be nice, sensitive, caring, thoughtful, scared, nerdy, and even a little weird. These aren't anything negative, unless you view them as negative traits because you're trying to attract someone who doesn't respond well to those traits. The good news is, you don't have to pursue only one person in the world, and also, if you want to chance something about yourself, you can do it, but it will take a lot of hard work and time, so be ready to GO THROUGH HELL if you want make yourself a different person. Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't. Maybe you'll change, and then they'll change as well. As long as you're changing into someone you like, then it's a good thing. If you feel like you don't like yourself, then maybe that needs to change, because you need to like the person in the mirror.
"But I can't like myself." you say.
My advice #2: COURAGE-WOLF IT
There is an incredible meme called Courage-Wolf. It is a picture of a wolf with some yellow background and white letters saying Courage-Wolfesque things. If you feel like you lack anything, then listen to some inspirational music REALLY loud, and just read no less than 100 Courage-Wolf memes. You will feel like you can lift a car afterwards. But don't try to actually do that, or you will hurt yourself.
That was a test. Actually try to lift a car. Don't listen to me or anybody else, even your probation officer. If you want to do something, do it. For it is written: "Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables,but you be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."
(If you haven't watched Pulp Fiction, do it now)
The point is you need to hashtag yoh-loh it and Courage-Wolf it. If that does not work, you may need to upgrade to Insanity Wolf, but I do not recommend this unless you are so shy that only the sheer level of psychosis of Insanity Wolf can shake you out of your stupor of timidity.
My advice #3: You know...
If you have someone who is your friend, and you got friendzoned, that blows major bananas. Well, in some cases, it does. Like, I read some guy's post where his girlfriend was sleeping in his bed and showering in his bathroom and eating his food, and wasn't putting out!? Like damn gurl, you on some kind of hustle. Don't get played. That's a bunch of poopy ass-dicks covered in semen. Just tell that bitch to gtfo. It will be messy and there will much protest, but it must be done for the good of all humanity. However, you may have a genuine friend, who doesn't take advantage of you, who just enjoys your company as a human being, but you want to fuck. Well, you know what? That's a normal human feeling, because we are invariably connected and often defined by our need to express ourselves sexually, and to be sexual beings.
Unfortunately, sex is very complexicated, so it can be a good thing, but it can also be a very bad thing. Your awesome friend - maybe you don't need to hook up with them. Perhaps that's not the answer you wanted to hear, but a lot of people just post so that other people can validate what they've already decided to do. Validation, of course, can be instrumental in making important decisions decisively, but when asking for genuine advice, you will always get the advice you tailor your inquiry for. So if you've already decided, just do what you've decided. But my advice, is really simple: if you want to date, find someone who wants to date you. If you have a friend and enjoy their friendship, but they don't want to date you, just stay friends. If you're not sure if they want to date you and are trying to send you "signals", well, there's no way I can know what to tell you because nobody in the world can read another person's specific thoughts based on vague actions, but I should say that some actions are less vague than others; a little bit of relationship advice from comrade Lenin.
You know I never understood the nerd's propensity to girlblog. I mean first off, assume you are that "stereotypical nerd" who has girl problems.. why would you seek people like yourself for advice? They probably have the same problems right? Queue reddit-tier confirmation about the wisdom of dealing with bitches.
There is a girl I like, but she definitely has a boyfriend. She lives with him, even.
Guess what? We were friends for over a year, I find out they're into kink. All I had to do was ask and now we're all one big happy family: Dom Boyfriend (me), Sub girlfriend/Dom wife (her), Sub hubby (him). No jealousy, no hard feelings, just one high maintenance girl who needs two men and the two men that love her in very different ways.
Where there's a will there's a way. Courage-wolf that shit. Just ask, communicate, straight up. Unfortunately it's tough when you're younger but I noticed around age .. maybe 21? .. That you could just be straightforward and honest with people about sex and relationships rather than play stupid games and try and read signals and all that malarky. I imagine TL's demographic to be roughly split between young nerds with these problems and old nerds who think they've figured everything out.
You don't have to even scroll down to see it's big punch principal piece of pointer: Look -- every single one of your predecessors managed to get laid.
Every time I read a ninazerg post I think of this (in this video, Anna represents shitty/whiny TL users):
I think guys ask for advice here because they don't have anywhere else to go. A lot of guys feel expected to act like they've got everything under control in real life, especially when it comes to girls, even when they don't really know what they're doing. Or their friends are just like themselves and can't offer any better advice.
Seriously though, work on fixing yourself before you try to fix your relationships with women.
On February 11 2014 19:49 ninazerg wrote: A woman is a rare type of pokemon that you can only capture with a master ball.
If a woman can only be caught with a master ball good thing I'm playing blue version and am surfing off the coast of Cinnabar Island with my only master ball in the 7th inventory slot.
Gurls be all rationalz and shit. Like stop ruining the internet If men can't give fail relationship advice on the internet to strangers, how are things like 4chan going to even continue to exist
ninazerg's second blog of 2014 is a freewheeling carouse into the topic of the modern e-epidemic, girl blogs. as far as phenomenological examinations go this work is flawless, covering the anatomy of blogging, vaginas, and some other things, which our scholarly readers may recognize as encompassing all of human knowledge. passion and a certain fondness for her audience shines through the typical ninazergian lustre of malaise, like ketchup and mayonnaise. the chapter on the lupus animus left a smile on this cold reviewer's soul. riding on her breakout in 2013 and with the stunning credentials of being born without a Y chromosome, this young writer is certainly one to look out for. 4/5 - intrigue, TeamLiquid.net Press, 02/11/2014
ninazerg's blog posts are available on blog posting websites near you. opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the views of TeamLiquid.net or anybody else.
It's very easy to write an obvious blog that will get the consensus of most people and get tons of validation to feel good with yourself, but this post doesn't really help anyone, or even make a valid point to work on (other than the fact you need the courage to do what you think you can't do. still pretty obvious).
I remind you that most people seek help because they don't know what to do. They seek help because nobody ever taught them how the overwhelming majority of women react to certain behaviours and they didn't have the tools to observe what was wrong with what they were doing and fix it themselves. When people write in a forum they want as much feedback as they can get, they do not read any single opinion and take it for granted. And the ones who respond to them know this aswell.
What you can't possibly understand as a woman is how hard it is for the average man with no experience to be perceived as a sexual being. Seeing useless, retarded, manipulating assholes get flocked with girls while you are incredibly horny, sex starved, and sometimes in love makes a man frustrated like no other being on the planet can experience. A man needs a certain amount of qualities and self exteem to be perceived as sexually attractive. A woman basically only needs not to be fat and, even then, you will still find more people who want you than the average, always-complying and friendzoned beta male. That's the reason so many guys ask for help in such a desperate way, and that's why everyone is ready to give the advice that worked for them.
While the thrust of the OP is pretty much on the money, Cloud does raise an interesting point as well, one I would find myself agreeing.
Many women don't seem to actually understand that the whole asymmetry of sexual interaction has both it's positives and negatives. For a girl, yeah you get unwanted male attention, you get all sorts of crap. You also don't have to worry about having to approach strangers in a club for the most part, or being the one to initiate a friendship into a relationship - for the most part. It can be a massive fucking pain in the ass, especially in your formative teen years. If you're a nerd who is friends with total nerds you don't exactly have a rich vein of vicarious experience to tap into in so the internet can actually be beneficial sometimes.
At first, I wanted to write something thought provoking and interesting on this subject but then I realized I just want to know who ninazerg is behind her cute little comedy act.
On February 12 2014 05:16 aTnClouD wrote: It's very easy to write an obvious blog that will get the consensus of most people and get tons of validation to feel good with yourself, but this post doesn't really help anyone, or even make a valid point to work on (other than the fact you need the courage to do what you think you can't do. still pretty obvious).
I remind you that most people seek help because they don't know what to do. They seek help because nobody ever taught them how the overwhelming majority of women react to certain behaviours and they didn't have the tools to observe what was wrong with what they were doing and fix it themselves. When people write in a forum they want as much feedback as they can get, they do not read any single opinion and take it for granted. And the ones who respond to them know this aswell.
What you can't possibly understand as a woman is how hard it is for the average man with no experience to be perceived as a sexual being. Seeing useless, retarded, manipulating assholes get flocked with girls while you are incredibly horny, sex starved, and sometimes in love makes a man frustrated like no other being on the planet can experience. A man needs a certain amount of qualities and self exteem to be perceived as sexually attractive. A woman basically only needs not to be fat and, even then, you will still find more people who want you than the average, always-complying and friendzoned beta male. That's the reason so many guys ask for help in such a desperate way, and that's why everyone is ready to give the advice that worked for them.
On February 12 2014 06:06 Wombat_NI wrote: While the thrust of the OP is pretty much on the money, Cloud does raise an interesting point as well, one I would find myself agreeing.
Many women don't seem to actually understand that the whole asymmetry of sexual interaction has both it's positives and negatives. For a girl, yeah you get unwanted male attention, you get all sorts of crap. You also don't have to worry about having to approach strangers in a club for the most part, or being the one to initiate a friendship into a relationship - for the most part. It can be a massive fucking pain in the ass, especially in your formative teen years. If you're a nerd who is friends with total nerds you don't exactly have a rich vein of vicarious experience to tap into in so the internet can actually be beneficial sometimes.
You can't change society. Why don't you guys just man up and stop putting the pussy on a pedestal.
the best girlblog. reference to serious medical situation to emphasize importance of biological realities.
Theres an Oscar Wilde quote that kind of sums up my thoughts on girl blogs: "“Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught." Practice, courage wolf, be real with yourself. Be natural and empathize with the sexual role you intend to play?
On February 12 2014 05:16 aTnClouD wrote: It's very easy to write an obvious blog that will get the consensus of most people and get tons of validation to feel good with yourself, but this post doesn't really help anyone, or even make a valid point to work on (other than the fact you need the courage to do what you think you can't do. still pretty obvious).
I remind you that most people seek help because they don't know what to do. They seek help because nobody ever taught them how the overwhelming majority of women react to certain behaviours and they didn't have the tools to observe what was wrong with what they were doing and fix it themselves. When people write in a forum they want as much feedback as they can get, they do not read any single opinion and take it for granted. And the ones who respond to them know this aswell.
What you can't possibly understand as a woman is how hard it is for the average man with no experience to be perceived as a sexual being. Seeing useless, retarded, manipulating assholes get flocked with girls while you are incredibly horny, sex starved, and sometimes in love makes a man frustrated like no other being on the planet can experience. A man needs a certain amount of qualities and self exteem to be perceived as sexually attractive. A woman basically only needs not to be fat and, even then, you will still find more people who want you than the average, always-complying and friendzoned beta male. That's the reason so many guys ask for help in such a desperate way, and that's why everyone is ready to give the advice that worked for them.
On February 12 2014 06:06 Wombat_NI wrote: While the thrust of the OP is pretty much on the money, Cloud does raise an interesting point as well, one I would find myself agreeing.
Many women don't seem to actually understand that the whole asymmetry of sexual interaction has both it's positives and negatives. For a girl, yeah you get unwanted male attention, you get all sorts of crap. You also don't have to worry about having to approach strangers in a club for the most part, or being the one to initiate a friendship into a relationship - for the most part. It can be a massive fucking pain in the ass, especially in your formative teen years. If you're a nerd who is friends with total nerds you don't exactly have a rich vein of vicarious experience to tap into in so the internet can actually be beneficial sometimes.
You can't change society. Why don't you guys just man up and stop putting the pussy on a pedestal.
Not sure if you're serious lol. If you are holy fuck you're an idiot and missed the thrust of my post entirely.
On February 12 2014 05:16 aTnClouD wrote: It's very easy to write an obvious blog that will get the consensus of most people and get tons of validation to feel good with yourself, but this post doesn't really help anyone, or even make a valid point to work on (other than the fact you need the courage to do what you think you can't do. still pretty obvious).
I remind you that most people seek help because they don't know what to do. They seek help because nobody ever taught them how the overwhelming majority of women react to certain behaviours and they didn't have the tools to observe what was wrong with what they were doing and fix it themselves. When people write in a forum they want as much feedback as they can get, they do not read any single opinion and take it for granted. And the ones who respond to them know this aswell.
What you can't possibly understand as a woman is how hard it is for the average man with no experience to be perceived as a sexual being. Seeing useless, retarded, manipulating assholes get flocked with girls while you are incredibly horny, sex starved, and sometimes in love makes a man frustrated like no other being on the planet can experience. A man needs a certain amount of qualities and self exteem to be perceived as sexually attractive. A woman basically only needs not to be fat and, even then, you will still find more people who want you than the average, always-complying and friendzoned beta male. That's the reason so many guys ask for help in such a desperate way, and that's why everyone is ready to give the advice that worked for them.
On February 12 2014 06:06 Wombat_NI wrote: While the thrust of the OP is pretty much on the money, Cloud does raise an interesting point as well, one I would find myself agreeing.
Many women don't seem to actually understand that the whole asymmetry of sexual interaction has both it's positives and negatives. For a girl, yeah you get unwanted male attention, you get all sorts of crap. You also don't have to worry about having to approach strangers in a club for the most part, or being the one to initiate a friendship into a relationship - for the most part. It can be a massive fucking pain in the ass, especially in your formative teen years. If you're a nerd who is friends with total nerds you don't exactly have a rich vein of vicarious experience to tap into in so the internet can actually be beneficial sometimes.
You can't change society. Why don't you guys just man up and stop putting the pussy on a pedestal.
On February 11 2014 19:49 ninazerg wrote: But my advice, is really simple: if you want to date, find someone who wants to date you.
Yes, but how?
In my humble opinion, walking up to random people and hitting on them is stupid. You should know people somewhat socially before deciding whether or not to pursue them. It's a sign of the collapse of modern society that people can't do what should be the most natural thing. There's a lovely spectrum of dysfunction in this thread, from the ball-less to the chauvinistic.
lol, that was pretty funny, especially when all the guys started pouring onto the scene from nowhere and he starts shooting their dicks in slow motions. xDDDDDDDDDD
On February 11 2014 19:49 ninazerg wrote: But my advice, is really simple: if you want to date, find someone who wants to date you.
Yes, but how?
I really can't give you that kind of advice because of the reasons I've mentioned in the OP. You can totally date friends if they want to date you. But if they JUST want friendship, I'm just saying don't try to force it to happen, because you'll end up pushing them away. That's the distinction I was making; if you want a dating tutorial, there are like a billion of them on the internet.
On February 11 2014 19:49 ninazerg wrote: But my advice, is really simple: if you want to date, find someone who wants to date you.
Yes, but how?
In my humble opinion, walking up to random people and hitting on them is stupid. You should know people somewhat socially before deciding whether or not to pursue them. It's a sign of the collapse of modern society that people can't do what should be the most natural thing. There's a lovely spectrum of dysfunction in this thread, from the ball-less to the chauvinistic.
It's not "stupid" to hit on random people, unless of course, you're at work, and it will cost you your job. But again, I'm not saying, nor have I ever said that you can't date your friends or ask out people you already know. I also disagree that there is any dysfunction in this thread, and modern society isn't collapsing because we can't make friends. If it collapses, it would be for other reasons that I'm not gonna discuss here because this isn't about that.
On February 12 2014 05:16 aTnClouD wrote: It's very easy to write an obvious blog that will get the consensus of most people and get tons of validation to feel good with yourself, but this post doesn't really help anyone, or even make a valid point to work on (other than the fact you need the courage to do what you think you can't do. still pretty obvious).
I remind you that most people seek help because they don't know what to do. They seek help because nobody ever taught them how the overwhelming majority of women react to certain behaviours and they didn't have the tools to observe what was wrong with what they were doing and fix it themselves. When people write in a forum they want as much feedback as they can get, they do not read any single opinion and take it for granted. And the ones who respond to them know this aswell.
What you can't possibly understand as a woman is how hard it is for the average man with no experience to be perceived as a sexual being. Seeing useless, retarded, manipulating assholes get flocked with girls while you are incredibly horny, sex starved, and sometimes in love makes a man frustrated like no other being on the planet can experience. A man needs a certain amount of qualities and self exteem to be perceived as sexually attractive. A woman basically only needs not to be fat and, even then, you will still find more people who want you than the average, always-complying and friendzoned beta male. That's the reason so many guys ask for help in such a desperate way, and that's why everyone is ready to give the advice that worked for them.
can you please write a blog on how to pick up high schoolers tia
On February 12 2014 05:16 aTnClouD wrote: It's very easy to write an obvious blog that will get the consensus of most people and get tons of validation to feel good with yourself, but this post doesn't really help anyone, or even make a valid point to work on (other than the fact you need the courage to do what you think you can't do. still pretty obvious).
I remind you that most people seek help because they don't know what to do. They seek help because nobody ever taught them how the overwhelming majority of women react to certain behaviours and they didn't have the tools to observe what was wrong with what they were doing and fix it themselves. When people write in a forum they want as much feedback as they can get, they do not read any single opinion and take it for granted. And the ones who respond to them know this aswell.
What you can't possibly understand as a woman is how hard it is for the average man with no experience to be perceived as a sexual being. Seeing useless, retarded, manipulating assholes get flocked with girls while you are incredibly horny, sex starved, and sometimes in love makes a man frustrated like no other being on the planet can experience. A man needs a certain amount of qualities and self exteem to be perceived as sexually attractive. A woman basically only needs not to be fat and, even then, you will still find more people who want you than the average, always-complying and friendzoned beta male. That's the reason so many guys ask for help in such a desperate way, and that's why everyone is ready to give the advice that worked for them.
can you please write a blog on how to pick up high schoolers tia
I'm fairly certain his success rate in those attempts removes him from advice giving status on said topic.
On February 11 2014 19:49 ninazerg wrote: But my advice, is really simple: if you want to date, find someone who wants to date you.
Yes, but how?
In my humble opinion, walking up to random people and hitting on them is stupid. You should know people somewhat socially before deciding whether or not to pursue them. It's a sign of the collapse of modern society that people can't do what should be the most natural thing. There's a lovely spectrum of dysfunction in this thread, from the ball-less to the chauvinistic.
Strangely enough, this "natural thing" is actually one of modern society's creations (not speaking for all cultures). Throughout history, pairing was decided more by families than individuals. The notion of dating and marrying because of romantic love isn't universal, and maybe it's not as "natural" as it seems to us who've grown up with it. Judging by the amount of families that stay together, it isn't a particularly good vehicle for raising children.
When guys go up to random girls and introduce themselves, they are just conditioning themselves to get used to rejection. I don't really think it is meant to actually find the "one", although it can happen, but it is more of a way to take action by facing biggest fears that people have. the most natural thing for a shy nerdy male = internet and porn, so it does require a certain amount of unnatural effort to break out imo.
EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/RzVwuxF.jpg)
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