EPTI met her on Craigslist. Not through the horndog personals, but rooms and shares for rent. She was the broker for some chinese families trying to rent out rooms. In an attempt to save on money, I was only clicking through the chinese postings. I can't read it. But I can speak it. So I called her up, blah blah blah, and on a 1PM on Saturday, we set out to look at the rooms she had for rent.
The first thing I said to her was, "Wow. You look young." Keep in mind, I had no idea she was a broker. I had no idea I would be paying her any fee. (Can't read chinese.) So my immediate assumption was she owned the place, and having already looked at several places, of which all the landlords were old and wrinkly, seeing a fresh, youthful female, was a very pleasant change.
I don't know if there is scientific research, but the sensation of moving to a foreign land mixed with the loneliness of moving to a foreign land, with a slammable female only 3 inches away, seemed to rekindle all the charisma I had in early college, which I had kind of forgotten about for the past 2 years.
Long story short, I started hitting on her. And I'm proud to say, in Chinese. You might think it's a bit of a disadvantage, which it is, i.e certain vocabulary words you'd like to say are excluded from your usage since you don't know them - but there's also a serendipitous advantage - that of being innocently vulgar.
Some how, we ended up in a bakery shop, just talking, and she had started asking me about the girls I dated before. How the conversation shifted to this, I'm not too sure. I think pretty early on, we had established some sexual tension. How did that happen? I'm not too sure either.
When I speak chinese, I have a tendency to re-use words for everything since I'm so limited in the ones I know. One of those words is "gao." It means "do." Have you taken this test? "Wo gao guo." I did it before." Did you eat yet? "Gao guo." These are pretty simplistic examples, and you don't really use gao in all of these contexts, and my chinese really isn't this shitty, but it's a word that's sunk pretty deeply into my brain from using it all the time as a child, so when she asked me how many girls I dated before, I started saying I gao'ed a vietnamese girl, a singapore girl, a korean girl ... and she started blushing, and I was like, why are you blushing?
"That's not a good word. Don't say that."
Actually, the moment she started blushing, I realized that, "gao a girl" in Chinese probably means the exact same thing in English. But I was feeling some nice sexual energy so I played dumb.
"Gao? Yes I gao'ed them before?"
"You can't say that."
"Why not?"
"It means something bad."
I taught her the english versions: She already knew sex. Make love. I introduced her to obscurities: Fornicate. Copulate. Coitus. She taught me "fa sheng guang xi."
Then I told her with a shit-eating grin that I want to gao her. Why did I say this? Maybe some psychological bs that I felt her brain was very primed towards the topic of sex, and now would be a good time to break it open. Plus, the energy the whole time was very primal. It's hard to describe other than the air is different when 2 people realize each one wants to gao the other.
I should mention all of this is happening over the span of 3 days. Day 1, she's showing me the rooms, I'm hitting on her, she's telling me about her husband and marriage. I get the room. Pay her 125$. Tell her, if she wasn't cute, I would find a room without a broker. She tells me, if I wasn't cute, she wouldn't give me such cheap price of 125$ broker fee. It's a bit weird hearing this from a girl-woman nearly a decade older. At the end of day 1, I give her a nice juicy hug. She's a bit reluctant, but then comes into the hug, and as we let go, I feel this lingering brush against my forearm like she wants more.
Day 2, we text a bit.
Her: Will you teach me English?
Me: What will you pay me?
Her: Do you want money?
Me: Don't want money.
Et cetera.
Day 3, we get breakfast. And have the "gao" conversation. I give her another hug after breakfast and squeeze her butt.
"Do you wanna come over tonight?"
"I'll think about it."
She comes over. We listen to some chinese music. Jacky Cheung. It's pretty hot right now, like 84 degrees, but it's a nice cool-warm with a fan in the room. I have some old lamps which give a kind of austere yellowy glow. Kind of like the romantic candle shit girls like.
For the past couple days, I have been telling her, we can't do anything. You have a husband, and she's been saying I know, I know.
"You're the fruit that cannot be eaten."
"I know."
"You are the flower that cannot be plucked."
"I know."
I felt quite proud uttering these lines in Chinese. Sentimental? Probably, but once again, having shitty chinese gives a pass on colorfulness that native speakers can't pull off.
We start cuddling. Some of her cloth comes off. She's got huge firm tits. (Not the breast or the nipple. The teat) Later, I told my friend this and she said, tit firmness is correlated to penis firmness - the more firm, the more horny. Discovering this made me a little sad. I don't think any past girlfriend had tits this firm. Then again, I'd read that a woman's sexual desire peaks in her 30s and given this is a scene rife with all the shit chicks dig, (secret affairs, fantasies, escapism) it makes some sense for her to be that horny.
I keep groping her, squeezing her boobs to elicit some moan out of her, and I get the sense she wants me to kiss her. I've been trying to slide my hands into her underwear, but she won't let me. Maybe she wants me to kiss her first.
I was scared to kiss her. Cuz I knew if I kissed her, then sex would probably follow. And although it seems like this whole time I've been wanting to bang her, I knew I shouldn't.
My line of reasoning (from about an hour of google searches as well as personal belief): If I gao her, I will get bad karma. And I'm a firm believer of karma. Because she is married and I am acting as an agent to help her betray someone she is supposed to love. And if I do this now, I deserve for it to happen to me in the future. It is only fair.
Initially, our flirting was innocent and harmless. I had no idea it would progress this far. So we ended up talking a little bit. She agreed. Shouldn't do this. Shouldn't meet anymore. And then I walked her out. She tried to kiss me, but I dodged it and gave her a hug instead.
Bye!
She texts me a few minuts later, "Farewell." (lol)
....................................................................................The end.
..... Or is it?
The next day, she starts texting me.
"I really like you."
"I really like how you make me feel."
"Let's just meet one more time?"
On and on and on. I gently rebuke her. I'm starting to get annoyed. It continues into the next morning, her asking to meet me, be friends, stay friends, don't want to lose a person. Then it becomes, she wants to meet me once more, before we become friends. Says we should have done more. I'm starting to feel a little annoyed, but I'm also feeling very horny.
I masturbate to Abigaile Johnson giving some dude a blow job. The sperm that comes out is all yellowy like mucous from the nose, thick and concentrated. I haven't jacked off for awhile. It made me a little sad that this could have gone into the girl.
Some memories flash through me - of instances where I really like a girl and text them non-stop. I have some sense of what it feels like now.
She keeps texting me and it would be okay if she was 20, 21 - but she's 34.
"Let's meet today."
"Can't."
"Want to meet at 2pm?"
"Can't."
"I'll wait for you at night time? Just want to see you once."
It's a flattering feeling at first. Very quickly, the feeling turns into nausea. I knew when I first met her, this chick was a bit crazy. As I write this, I'm wondering: What the hell would have happened if I had had sex with her. Them chicks get mighty possessive after having sex.
Finally she texts: "I don't wanna force you anymore. Come to meet me if you want."
I reply, "Don't want to."
"That's okay," she writes.
So how do I feel now?
A bit sad. I wanted to comfort her. Near the end of our text conversation, I was growing more and more impatient, coming off more and more aloof. I didn't know how else to get the point across. At this point, I completely didn't want to have sex with her. I seen her eyes turn into slits before - don't mess with a scorned women.
It's amazing how people enter our lives and just as quickly exit them. We spend time making relationships, and then spend more time forgetting about them. On Craigslist New York and surrounding boroughs, Men seeking women averages 2300 posts per DAY. For women seeking Men, it's 300. So much loneliness suffuses our society.
Here's some advice for yall younger noobs: As long as you look semi-decent, be yourself, no need to read those gaming books, be yourself, be 10% more daring, and that's all you need.
