I swear to god, the next batch of motherfucking kids I catch bouncing on my trampoline in my yard I am going to be the shit out of with a bat. How's that for a tl;dr?
So I have a trampoline in my yard. When I first got it, all the kids in the neighbourhood would knock on my door and ask if they can bounce on it. Most of the time I said yes, but only 2 on at a time, they can't use it when I'm not home, and they always have to ask me before using it.
These bold motherfuckers. I would be coming home from work and see them bouncing on it when I never authorized it. I'd tell them "if I ever catch you doing that again no one is allowed on ever again". They say "ok, sorry", then scram.
What do you know? I come home from work not even a week later and catch kids on it again. Sometimes the same kids, sometimes different kids. Now they're saying "uh, we talked to someone who knows you and they said it was okay." Do you think I'm fucking stupid? I say "I know no one said that, that's bullshit. I'm calling the cops next time I catch you guys on it." <-- bluffing, I'm not actually going to bother calling the cops.
That scared away most of them. Now all who's left are these piece of shit teenage cunts that think they're invincible and they can do what the want. Obviously the cops bluff doesn't work, so the next time I catch them I say "you better get the fuck off my property now or I'm going to break your legs." They basically pull the same crap like "well the other guy who lives here said it was okay." Yeah..., about that - I'm the only guy who lives here so don't even fucking waste your breath.
Now... I hadn't seen these bastards since for a month or two up until 10 minutes ago. I'm reading TL and I faintly hear *bounce*... *bounce* ... *giggle giggle* *bounce*... So I sneak out the back door and go around so they don't see me coming. Walking towards them.
"You have 10 seconds to run as fast as you fucking can before I make my way over there and kick the shit out of you"
It's usually dark out so I can't really make out their faces, but I'm positive these fuckers have already been told off by me and it's the last god damn warning I'm giving them. They think I'm fucking bluffing now?
I'm dead serious next time I catch these sons of bitches in my yard on my trampoline I'm running after them with a bat.
Initially I would have just found somewhere else for the trampoline, but:
a) Me and friends do use it occasionally. I don't think I should have to give up something of mine because of this.
b) I have nowhere else to put it anyway, and I don't feel like renting a large storage room out of my pocket to store something that I can never use.
c) It's my brother's as well (he's in china atm), so it's not 100% up to me anyway
So how will/should this end? If I don't do something "drastic" these fucking kids are never going to stop. I'm getting really god damn pissed.