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edit: Disclaimer - I just realized this is a really angrily written post. But yeah, still pretty annoyed.
I swear to god, the next batch of motherfucking kids I catch bouncing on my trampoline in my yard I am going to be the shit out of with a bat. How's that for a tl;dr?
So I have a trampoline in my yard. When I first got it, all the kids in the neighbourhood would knock on my door and ask if they can bounce on it. Most of the time I said yes, but only 2 on at a time, they can't use it when I'm not home, and they always have to ask me before using it.
These bold motherfuckers. I would be coming home from work and see them bouncing on it when I never authorized it. I'd tell them "if I ever catch you doing that again no one is allowed on ever again". They say "ok, sorry", then scram.
What do you know? I come home from work not even a week later and catch kids on it again. Sometimes the same kids, sometimes different kids. Now they're saying "uh, we talked to someone who knows you and they said it was okay." Do you think I'm fucking stupid? I say "I know no one said that, that's bullshit. I'm calling the cops next time I catch you guys on it." <-- bluffing, I'm not actually going to bother calling the cops.
That scared away most of them. Now all who's left are these piece of shit teenage cunts that think they're invincible and they can do what the want. Obviously the cops bluff doesn't work, so the next time I catch them I say "you better get the fuck off my property now or I'm going to break your legs." They basically pull the same crap like "well the other guy who lives here said it was okay." Yeah..., about that - I'm the only guy who lives here so don't even fucking waste your breath.
Now... I hadn't seen these bastards since for a month or two up until 10 minutes ago. I'm reading TL and I faintly hear *bounce*... *bounce* ... *giggle giggle* *bounce*... So I sneak out the back door and go around so they don't see me coming. Walking towards them.
"You have 10 seconds to run as fast as you fucking can before I make my way over there and kick the shit out of you"
It's usually dark out so I can't really make out their faces, but I'm positive these fuckers have already been told off by me and it's the last god damn warning I'm giving them. They think I'm fucking bluffing now?
I'm dead serious next time I catch these sons of bitches in my yard on my trampoline I'm running after them with a bat.
Initially I would have just found somewhere else for the trampoline, but:
a) Me and friends do use it occasionally. I don't think I should have to give up something of mine because of this.
b) I have nowhere else to put it anyway, and I don't feel like renting a large storage room out of my pocket to store something that I can never use.
c) It's my brother's as well (he's in china atm), so it's not 100% up to me anyway
So how will/should this end? If I don't do something "drastic" these fucking kids are never going to stop. I'm getting really god damn pissed.
 
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LOL holy shit, on one hand it's like "DAYUM you're pissed", but on the other, I completely understand what you mean. I'd be mad as hell too if that happened to me. I'm assuming it's like one of those full-size trampolines so you can't just stash it away temporarily and take it out whenever you feel like it. Hmm, could their behavior constitute trespassing? I dunno :X
For funnies, though:
+ Show Spoiler +On July 26 2012 15:45 Shady Sands wrote:There are a number of solutions that may provide relief from the nighttime stalking. Please note that this post is purely informative and I do not in any way encourage you to take any of the below actions. I do not live in Sweden so I do not have any idea what the local laws are--highly recommend consulting with a local lawyer before embarking on any of these courses of action. As always with posts of this nature, the actor, not the poster, bears all responsibility for any consequences arising from any techniques bearing either a substantive or superficial resemblance to the ones listed below. Deterrent/warning/nuisance- Paint dispenser
Basically a device that either drops or sprays paint on him, or splats him with a paintball. Good for tagging down the target so you know who is sneaking up on your house at night.
- Stink dispenser
Same philosophy as the paint device, but with a foul/irritating fluid. Best choices include butyric acid (harmless but smells like rancid butter, obtainable from any chemical company or even your high school chemistry lab.) Alternatively, you could also make a homemade stink solution of ammonia and match-heads--just swirl the match-heads around in ammonia, seal the container, wait two days, and you have a solution of ammonium sulfate, which is what goes into commercial and military stink bombs. Spray/drop/splash your assailant if he intrudes.
- Light trap
Some other people have already posted about this in the thread: basically a triggering system that turns on a powerful light, like a commercial floodlamp. Best if combined with the noise trap below:
- Noise trap
Fire up your loudest, most jarring track of music (or annoying noise like an alarm clock) and set it to go off if he gets near.
Painful but (usually) non-lethal- Caltrops
Caltrops are an antipersonnel weapon made up of two or more sharp nails or spines arranged in such a manner that one of them always points upward from a stable base (for example, a tetrahedron). They cheap and easy to make--all it requires is two long-ish (10cm) nails to make one. So with a box of 500 nails (should be cheap, less than 20 euros), you can make over 250 caltrops and scatter them about your front porch/the grass in your yard. Best idea is to put in the grass or buy a shaggy rug and hide them in there, as they will not be visible. Also remember to spray paint them black or brown so they don't shine in the moonlight. Depending on the thickness of his shoes, the assailant will get a 1-2cm deep wound to the sole of his foot and lose the use of that foot (since the caltrop will be stuck to his shoe), which is usually enough to give you the decisive edge in any physical encounter.
- Nail Heads on Carpet
Same philosophy as the caltrop, but easier to clean up. Drive nails through the bottom of a rug so that the sharp end sticks up, and superglue or epoxy them in place from the back side. Space them about 5cm apart in a triangular pattern. When you need to dispose of the trap, simply pick up the rug and move it.
- Aerosol Flame Trap
Basically a trap that incorporates a lighter, an aerosol can, and a triggering device. Assailant triggers lighter and aerosol spray, which sends a 1-meter jet of flame in a set direction for approximately 3-10 seconds (depending on how much fuel is in the spray can). The flame will not be hot enough to set him on fire, but will scare him and cause minor burns.
- Mace Canister/CS dispenser/Mustard Gas dispenser
Same philosophy as the stink dispenser, but uses irritating/painful chemical agents this time. Mace is commercially obtainable and usually comes in nice spray bottles that you can easily hook up to an automated triggering system. The other two have the advantage of being much more painful than Mace, but also dangerous to yourself as well. Use with care. Your assailant will likely be incapacitated after an encounter like this, and will require medical attention if the chemical amount is high enough.
Potentially Lethal- 00 Buckshot Trap
You do not need a firearm for this trap to work, although it makes it much easier. If you do have a shotgun, simply wire it to go off when someone triggers a pressure plate or tripwire. If you don't, use a thickened metal pipe and an improvised firing pin. Pipe strength is not critical as the "barrel" only has to withstand one shot. The advantage of this is that spread of 00 Buckshot out of a 15-20 cm unchoked barrel is about the size of a fist at 10 meters, which means that you can place this trap well out of sight of an entryway, or it can guard all the windows and doors along an entire wall as opposed to just one point of egress. If you want to tone down the lethality, substitute a lighter load of shot (or beanbag shot) for the device, and/or place at knee/ankle level to disable movement.
- Spring-loaded axe/knife/machete
Basically a device that swings a blade down a predetermined path upon triggering. The ideal path for a thrusting movement is usually upwards through the floorboards or downwards from the ceiling at a slight (20 degree-40 degree) angle. The ideal path for a swinging movement is either at abdomen height or neck height (lethal), or from behind towards the back of the knee/hamstring (disabling).
- FFV 013 / VP 88 / MON-50
These are the Swedish, Finnish, and Russian versions of the American M18 Claymore directional landmine. Since you live in Sweden, these devices should be the versions that are available if you have the right connections in your local community. Triggering systems include tripwires and infrared laser beam triggers (basically one of the beams that goes across the bottom of a garage door.)
- Grenade In A Can
A hand grenade works like this: you pull the firing pin, then throw it, at which a spring-loaded handle held flush to the grenade body is set free when the grenade leaves your hand, arming the fuse and beginning the countdown. So the grenade in a can works by pulling the firing pin but jamming the grenade into a steel can. Then you place the can down on the ground and weight it down with rocks (or glue it to the ground). Then you wrap a thin, clear string (piano wire or nylon fishing lines work the best here) around the grenade and thread the other end around a vertical object to form a tripwire. When the wire is pulled, the grenade will pop out of the can and arm itself, and explode; if you can get the variants with a zero-delay fuse (an instantaneous fuse) then the grenade will explode without warning.
The best grenade to use for this is the Soviet RGD-5, as it is can-sized, cheap, and comes with a zero-delay UZRGM fuse. The grenade itself is usually available in bulk for about $5 (or 4 euros) per unit. It has a guaranteed lethal radius of 3 meters and can inflict fragmentation injuries/shatter glass out to 15 meters, so do not plant one of these close to a window or door. As always, paint the device matte black or brown for low-visibility in nighttime conditions.
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start putting out pieces of wood with spikes sticking out of them around the trampoline, then when questioned by the police, say they were for the squirrels
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Take off the the legs, and store them inside.
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loosen the bolts that hold the trampoline "mat" or floor, dig the ground from under the trampoline and fill it with spikes, watch invincible teenagers fall to their death. laugh. repeat.
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You have to do something. If one of those kids somehow cracks his skull on the trampoline, his parents are going to sue for not having a locked down fence around it.
Isn't there a way of taking it to pieces rather than putting the whole thing in a storage room ?
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I would recommend actually calling the police next time, or taking the legs off. You could also set up a security camera and show up to talk to parents with proof, or the same with the police.
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Initially I was going to say they'd just steal the remainder of the trampoline if I take off the legs, because I like that idea, but I guess I can just go buy a $5 lock and lock it up to something in the corner of the yard as well?
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As for calling the cops: does nothing. Kids run, cops go "what you want me to do?", then repeat.
I want them to experience physical pain preferably because I feel like otherwise they're just too bold and daring, but obviously nothing too crazy, and I don't want to have it backfire legally some way.
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Have you tried talking to their parents?
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On March 11 2013 13:19 Grobyc wrote:
I want them to experience physical pain preferably, but obviously nothing too crazy, and I don't want to have it backfire legally some way.
Shooting trespassers with a BB gun is fine I guess.
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On March 11 2013 13:15 Grobyc wrote:
Initially I was going to say they'd just steal the remainder of the trampoline if I take off the legs, because I like that idea, but I guess I can just go buy a $5 lock and lock it up to something in the corner of the yard as well?
I think this is probably the safest route you can take 
Would be nice if they could experience intense physical pain but there's probably no legal way for you to set them up to get owned that way lol.
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On March 11 2013 13:24 Roe wrote:
Have you tried talking to their parents?
Yes. At least to the ones I knew of. There's easily a dozen offending kids in the neighbourhood. During one of the first couple of events, I followed some of the kinds back home and spoke to a couple parents, but I don't know where the other kids live and it's usually dark out when they start trespassing, so I can't really ID them.
On March 11 2013 13:24 endy wrote:Show nested quote +On March 11 2013 13:19 Grobyc wrote:
I want them to experience physical pain preferably, but obviously nothing too crazy, and I don't want to have it backfire legally some way. Shooting trespassers with a BB gun is fine I guess.
I suppose I won't need to do this if I take off the legs and lock it up in the yard, but it sounds like a good in-the-middle suggestion for wanting to induce pain upon them . Could also be useful in case they start with other shenanigans once I lock up the trampoline. i.e. egging my house or something
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United States97276 Posts
You could always rig your trampoline to "break" when you aren't around right? loosen some screws or something?
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but then i have a broken trampoline and a lawsuit? lol
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United States97276 Posts
Then go with the BB gun I guess
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At first I thought this was a SC2/BW analogy.
Then I actually read the blog.
I was pleasantly surprised.
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Put loads of junk on a tarp on the trampoline and just remove it when you need to use it
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On March 11 2013 13:05 endy wrote:
You have to do something. If one of those kids somehow cracks his skull on the trampoline, his parents are going to sue for not having a locked down fence around it.
Isn't there a way of taking it to pieces rather than putting the whole thing in a storage room ?
I don't know about legal issues and maybe this is me just being ignorant but a world where you're held responsible for kids illegally trespassing on your property and getting hurt is messed up, regardless of whether there is a locked down fence on it or not.
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Cover your surface with a clearish tarp. Cover said tarp with fresh silicone. Watch kids ruin their shoes, also, parents will wonder what happened to shoes lol
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On March 11 2013 13:37 Grobyc wrote:
but then i have a broken trampoline and a lawsuit? lol
Or you could make the parents pay for the trampoline the kids ''broke''?
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Canada13389 Posts
The worst part is if they hurt themselves you are liable. So yeah chase em away or actually call the cops on the kids and get their parents involved.
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On March 11 2013 14:00 Ilikestarcraft wrote:Show nested quote +On March 11 2013 13:05 endy wrote:
You have to do something. If one of those kids somehow cracks his skull on the trampoline, his parents are going to sue for not having a locked down fence around it.
Isn't there a way of taking it to pieces rather than putting the whole thing in a storage room ? I don't know about legal issues and maybe this is me just being ignorant but a world where you're held responsible for kids illegally trespassing on your property and getting hurt is messed up, regardless of whether there is a locked down fence on it or not.
Unfortunately that's how it is  people are so litigation-happy these days..... there is actually a very big chance he'd be sued if the kids, who were trespassing, hurt themselves in some way. Sucks.
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Australia7069 Posts
either call the cops or completely ignore them. Kids will be drawn to do stuff if you forbid it up to a certain point. You're obviously not going to beat children with a weapon so cops is the only realistic option. you need to escalate it to a point where they're too scared to do it, or ignore it so they get bored and move on.
source: had some kids in my neighbourhood who thought it was cool to knock and run on my door all day. ignored them for a week and it's never happened again. i found that asking them to stop just made it go further. you have to remember that kids aren't rational human beings. treat them like kids and you'll be fine
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On March 11 2013 14:09 MountainDewJunkie wrote:
Cover your surface with a clearish tarp. Cover said tarp with fresh silicone. Watch kids ruin their shoes, also, parents will wonder what happened to shoes lol
And hope that kids happen to jump on the said fresh silicone the following 10 minutes after laying it? If only I could be so lucky.
On March 11 2013 14:10 DDie wrote:Show nested quote +On March 11 2013 13:37 Grobyc wrote:
but then i have a broken trampoline and a lawsuit? lol Or you could make the parents pay for the trampoline the kids ''broke''?
How am I supposed to know who broke it and prove it?
On March 11 2013 14:24 Kiante wrote:
either call the cops or completely ignore them. Kids will be drawn to do stuff if you forbid it up to a certain point. You're obviously not going to beat children with a weapon so cops is the only realistic option. you need to escalate it to a point where they're too scared to do it, or ignore it so they get bored and move on.
source: had some kids in my neighbourhood who thought it was cool to knock and run on my door all day. ignored them for a week and it's never happened again. i found that asking them to stop just made it go further. you have to remember that kids aren't rational human beings. treat them like kids and you'll be fine
The thing is I've already caught them on it and told them to stay off so many times it seems to late for that, and I still don't think the scare factor of cops is going to keep them away. I'm still kind of leaning towards removing the legs and locking it up, I dunno.
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On March 11 2013 13:07 Jaaaaasper wrote:
I would recommend actually calling the police next time, or taking the legs off. You could also set up a security camera and show up to talk to parents with proof, or the same with the police.
Really????, are u suggesting take the legs off the trampoline or the kids?
Also a bit of an exageration considering their kids, u could go out and meet them and their parents and just talk about it.
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Darkren, he's definitely talking about taking the legs off of the trampoline lol. It's been suggested a few times in this thread already anyway. Don't worry, nobody is seriously suggesting he physically disable them =P
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On March 11 2013 14:45 Grobyc wrote:
DISABLE ALL THE CHILDREN
LOL
well they're teenagers so there should be no problem there, do it for great justice ^_^
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Canada13389 Posts
Don't lock away your trampoline because there are kids on it.
If you have a fence, try to secure it around the tramp?
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Don't have a fence, front yard is moderately open. I'm not going to lock it away in a shed or anything, I just feel like I should lock it to something stationary in the corner of the yard so they don't steal it when I take off the legs. I wouldn't be surprised if they wanted to take it out of spite once I remove the legs.
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Buy a few long length chains, wrap them across the bouncy area and then use a pad lock on the chains. The kids won't be able to bounce on it since theres ropes of chains on it and you can use it when you want.
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Australia7069 Posts
get a surveilance camera. identify the children. speak to their parents. speak to the cops. voila
get serious or go home
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On March 11 2013 14:23 Aerisky wrote:Show nested quote +On March 11 2013 14:00 Ilikestarcraft wrote:On March 11 2013 13:05 endy wrote:
You have to do something. If one of those kids somehow cracks his skull on the trampoline, his parents are going to sue for not having a locked down fence around it.
Isn't there a way of taking it to pieces rather than putting the whole thing in a storage room ? I don't know about legal issues and maybe this is me just being ignorant but a world where you're held responsible for kids illegally trespassing on your property and getting hurt is messed up, regardless of whether there is a locked down fence on it or not. Unfortunately that's how it is people are so litigation-happy these days..... there is actually a very big chance he'd be sued if the kids, who were trespassing, hurt themselves in some way. Sucks.
what if you put up a sign that states that trespassing is not allowed and you're not liable for injuries that occure if not following this rule?
Also the chains around the trampoline's bouncing area is probably not too bad, either.
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I like the chains on the bouncing area as well!
Putting up that sign still may not work ;__; there was a court case in which woman successfully sued McDonald's after she spilled hot coffee on herself. The cups are all clearly labeled "caution: contents may be hot" so I'm really not sure how that works. Saying that you aren't liable doesn't necessarily mean you really aren't even if you give a warning I think
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Shoot them with a paintball gun... or hose. Sneakiness will be necessary in order for either to be successful.
Your house might get egged and you might have pissed off teens/parents coming to your door in which case you answer the door in nothing but your underwear, holding a samurai sword, with some sort of mask on. Act casually, and just tell them you were practising when they rang the door bell.
Also.. if u left a trampoline in your front yard..and i was a neighbor... i would totally jump on your trampoline =/. I would quit after you yelled at or chased me... my little brother would be one of the assholes who u would have to physically catch and harm to get him to stop... he is kinda an asshole, and prefers to do something more, once he figures out it makes someone else angry.
New idea... set footsnares/booby traps on front yard. Win win... they stop touching your trampoline, or you get to cackle maniacally as you hear shouts of pain from your front yard.
then again.,.. just chase them with a bat like u planned... but only wearing your underwear and a mask... think of the nightmares that would leave them with. Nobody fucks with the "crazy neighbor"
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There was this guy in our neighborhood when I was younger who was really rich. His family had everything a kid could want. A lot of people would sneak onto his property and bounce on the trampoline or swim in their lake (yes, they had their own goddamn lake), or what have you. So the solution he came up with was to put a bed of nails under his trampoline so that if you got to a decent bounce and slammed back down you would hit the nails. A couple of kids ended up in the hospital, so i guess it worked. Of course there were rumors he killed some kids too, so maybe not the best example XD
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On March 11 2013 15:30 Aerisky wrote:
there was a court case in which woman successfully sued McDonald's after she spilled hot coffee on herself.
only in the USA .. lol
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I hope none of the kids go "YOU MAD BRO?!?!??!?!?!?!" over and over again. If they did, then I would say that you are morally justified to beat the living shit of them. I fucking hate people who think they are the new Borat.
Also, I hearde your name is Cyborg backwards! I guess the rumors were true :D :D :D
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On March 11 2013 16:12 LML wrote:Show nested quote +On March 11 2013 15:30 Aerisky wrote:
there was a court case in which woman successfully sued McDonald's after she spilled hot coffee on herself. only in the USA .. lol
That case is often taken hilariously out of context and actually is a fairly reasonable lawsuit. The coffee in question was served at much higher temperatures than normal (180+ degrees Fahrenheit); some coffee chains like starbucks also serve at these temperatures and also get sued (even outside of the US for the record), because that temperature drink will give a person severe burns after as few as 2 seconds).
THe woman in question didn't just have a red splotch on her lap, either. She received 3rd degree burns (the same type firefighters get and can need amputation) to over 6% of her body. http://pratlaw.wordpress.com/2010/02/24/an-old-posting-i-always-wanted-to-have-referenced/ here's a pic of you're curious what that looks like. She needed skin grafts to heal. She tried to settle out of court for much less (20000 to cover her medical fees) than she ended up getting. She did not get the millions most people say she received; her court awarded sum was around 640k, minus the lawyer fees for her case (the kind of lawyers you get to sue one of the biggest corporations in the world are pretty expensive) and the medical fees, and you have yourself a pretty damn reasonable amount for a pretty reasonable lawsuit.
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haah funny post you're so off it!
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Yeah I got pm'd by Funnytoss with the same link and basically the same info. Sorry for that! Of course, there are many cases in which tort law likely should have been reformed to prevent the inception of various forms of frivolous litigation, but evidently the McDonald's lawsuit was lacking in legitimacy as an example, not to mention bursting at the seams with sensationalism.
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Let them jump on a rainy day. They'll learn their lesson...
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Teenagers think they are invincible because people are afraid to break their fragile little egos.
Show them they're not invincible.
This usually involves scaring the fuck out of them. That doesn't include chasing them with a baseball bat, that would be more funny than anything else. You really have to the raise the stakes if you want to scare them. That usually involves firearms.
Alternatively you can talk to their parents.
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On March 11 2013 13:00 Aerisky wrote:LOL holy shit, on one hand it's like "DAYUM you're pissed", but on the other, I completely understand what you mean. I'd be mad as hell too if that happened to me. I'm assuming it's like one of those full-size trampolines so you can't just stash it away temporarily and take it out whenever you feel like it. Hmm, could their behavior constitute trespassing? I dunno :X For funnies, though: + Show Spoiler +On July 26 2012 15:45 Shady Sands wrote:There are a number of solutions that may provide relief from the nighttime stalking. Please note that this post is purely informative and I do not in any way encourage you to take any of the below actions. I do not live in Sweden so I do not have any idea what the local laws are--highly recommend consulting with a local lawyer before embarking on any of these courses of action. As always with posts of this nature, the actor, not the poster, bears all responsibility for any consequences arising from any techniques bearing either a substantive or superficial resemblance to the ones listed below. Deterrent/warning/nuisance- Paint dispenser
Basically a device that either drops or sprays paint on him, or splats him with a paintball. Good for tagging down the target so you know who is sneaking up on your house at night.
- Stink dispenser
Same philosophy as the paint device, but with a foul/irritating fluid. Best choices include butyric acid (harmless but smells like rancid butter, obtainable from any chemical company or even your high school chemistry lab.) Alternatively, you could also make a homemade stink solution of ammonia and match-heads--just swirl the match-heads around in ammonia, seal the container, wait two days, and you have a solution of ammonium sulfate, which is what goes into commercial and military stink bombs. Spray/drop/splash your assailant if he intrudes.
- Light trap
Some other people have already posted about this in the thread: basically a triggering system that turns on a powerful light, like a commercial floodlamp. Best if combined with the noise trap below:
- Noise trap
Fire up your loudest, most jarring track of music (or annoying noise like an alarm clock) and set it to go off if he gets near.
Painful but (usually) non-lethal- Caltrops
Caltrops are an antipersonnel weapon made up of two or more sharp nails or spines arranged in such a manner that one of them always points upward from a stable base (for example, a tetrahedron). They cheap and easy to make--all it requires is two long-ish (10cm) nails to make one. So with a box of 500 nails (should be cheap, less than 20 euros), you can make over 250 caltrops and scatter them about your front porch/the grass in your yard. Best idea is to put in the grass or buy a shaggy rug and hide them in there, as they will not be visible. Also remember to spray paint them black or brown so they don't shine in the moonlight. Depending on the thickness of his shoes, the assailant will get a 1-2cm deep wound to the sole of his foot and lose the use of that foot (since the caltrop will be stuck to his shoe), which is usually enough to give you the decisive edge in any physical encounter.
- Nail Heads on Carpet
Same philosophy as the caltrop, but easier to clean up. Drive nails through the bottom of a rug so that the sharp end sticks up, and superglue or epoxy them in place from the back side. Space them about 5cm apart in a triangular pattern. When you need to dispose of the trap, simply pick up the rug and move it.
- Aerosol Flame Trap
Basically a trap that incorporates a lighter, an aerosol can, and a triggering device. Assailant triggers lighter and aerosol spray, which sends a 1-meter jet of flame in a set direction for approximately 3-10 seconds (depending on how much fuel is in the spray can). The flame will not be hot enough to set him on fire, but will scare him and cause minor burns.
- Mace Canister/CS dispenser/Mustard Gas dispenser
Same philosophy as the stink dispenser, but uses irritating/painful chemical agents this time. Mace is commercially obtainable and usually comes in nice spray bottles that you can easily hook up to an automated triggering system. The other two have the advantage of being much more painful than Mace, but also dangerous to yourself as well. Use with care. Your assailant will likely be incapacitated after an encounter like this, and will require medical attention if the chemical amount is high enough.
Potentially Lethal- 00 Buckshot Trap
You do not need a firearm for this trap to work, although it makes it much easier. If you do have a shotgun, simply wire it to go off when someone triggers a pressure plate or tripwire. If you don't, use a thickened metal pipe and an improvised firing pin. Pipe strength is not critical as the "barrel" only has to withstand one shot. The advantage of this is that spread of 00 Buckshot out of a 15-20 cm unchoked barrel is about the size of a fist at 10 meters, which means that you can place this trap well out of sight of an entryway, or it can guard all the windows and doors along an entire wall as opposed to just one point of egress. If you want to tone down the lethality, substitute a lighter load of shot (or beanbag shot) for the device, and/or place at knee/ankle level to disable movement.
- Spring-loaded axe/knife/machete
Basically a device that swings a blade down a predetermined path upon triggering. The ideal path for a thrusting movement is usually upwards through the floorboards or downwards from the ceiling at a slight (20 degree-40 degree) angle. The ideal path for a swinging movement is either at abdomen height or neck height (lethal), or from behind towards the back of the knee/hamstring (disabling).
- FFV 013 / VP 88 / MON-50
These are the Swedish, Finnish, and Russian versions of the American M18 Claymore directional landmine. Since you live in Sweden, these devices should be the versions that are available if you have the right connections in your local community. Triggering systems include tripwires and infrared laser beam triggers (basically one of the beams that goes across the bottom of a garage door.)
- Grenade In A Can
A hand grenade works like this: you pull the firing pin, then throw it, at which a spring-loaded handle held flush to the grenade body is set free when the grenade leaves your hand, arming the fuse and beginning the countdown. So the grenade in a can works by pulling the firing pin but jamming the grenade into a steel can. Then you place the can down on the ground and weight it down with rocks (or glue it to the ground). Then you wrap a thin, clear string (piano wire or nylon fishing lines work the best here) around the grenade and thread the other end around a vertical object to form a tripwire. When the wire is pulled, the grenade will pop out of the can and arm itself, and explode; if you can get the variants with a zero-delay fuse (an instantaneous fuse) then the grenade will explode without warning.
The best grenade to use for this is the Soviet RGD-5, as it is can-sized, cheap, and comes with a zero-delay UZRGM fuse. The grenade itself is usually available in bulk for about $5 (or 4 euros) per unit. It has a guaranteed lethal radius of 3 meters and can inflict fragmentation injuries/shatter glass out to 15 meters, so do not plant one of these close to a window or door. As always, paint the device matte black or brown for low-visibility in nighttime conditions.
how the fuck are you gonna clean the caltrops out if you want to walk through your own yard, lol
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On March 11 2013 14:24 Kiante wrote:
either call the cops or completely ignore them. Kids will be drawn to do stuff if you forbid it up to a certain point. You're obviously not going to beat children with a weapon so cops is the only realistic option. you need to escalate it to a point where they're too scared to do it, or ignore it so they get bored and move on.
source: had some kids in my neighbourhood who thought it was cool to knock and run on my door all day. ignored them for a week and it's never happened again. i found that asking them to stop just made it go further. you have to remember that kids aren't rational human beings. treat them like kids and you'll be fine
yah but they didn't have any incentive to knock on your door except to fuck with you. whereas this guy has an amazing incentive, which is a trampoline, so why would they stop if he ignores it?
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On March 11 2013 18:33 UniversalSnip wrote:Show nested quote +On March 11 2013 13:00 Aerisky wrote:LOL holy shit, on one hand it's like "DAYUM you're pissed", but on the other, I completely understand what you mean. I'd be mad as hell too if that happened to me. I'm assuming it's like one of those full-size trampolines so you can't just stash it away temporarily and take it out whenever you feel like it. Hmm, could their behavior constitute trespassing? I dunno :X For funnies, though: + Show Spoiler +On July 26 2012 15:45 Shady Sands wrote:There are a number of solutions that may provide relief from the nighttime stalking. Please note that this post is purely informative and I do not in any way encourage you to take any of the below actions. I do not live in Sweden so I do not have any idea what the local laws are--highly recommend consulting with a local lawyer before embarking on any of these courses of action. As always with posts of this nature, the actor, not the poster, bears all responsibility for any consequences arising from any techniques bearing either a substantive or superficial resemblance to the ones listed below. Deterrent/warning/nuisance- Paint dispenser
Basically a device that either drops or sprays paint on him, or splats him with a paintball. Good for tagging down the target so you know who is sneaking up on your house at night.
- Stink dispenser
Same philosophy as the paint device, but with a foul/irritating fluid. Best choices include butyric acid (harmless but smells like rancid butter, obtainable from any chemical company or even your high school chemistry lab.) Alternatively, you could also make a homemade stink solution of ammonia and match-heads--just swirl the match-heads around in ammonia, seal the container, wait two days, and you have a solution of ammonium sulfate, which is what goes into commercial and military stink bombs. Spray/drop/splash your assailant if he intrudes.
- Light trap
Some other people have already posted about this in the thread: basically a triggering system that turns on a powerful light, like a commercial floodlamp. Best if combined with the noise trap below:
- Noise trap
Fire up your loudest, most jarring track of music (or annoying noise like an alarm clock) and set it to go off if he gets near.
Painful but (usually) non-lethal- Caltrops
Caltrops are an antipersonnel weapon made up of two or more sharp nails or spines arranged in such a manner that one of them always points upward from a stable base (for example, a tetrahedron). They cheap and easy to make--all it requires is two long-ish (10cm) nails to make one. So with a box of 500 nails (should be cheap, less than 20 euros), you can make over 250 caltrops and scatter them about your front porch/the grass in your yard. Best idea is to put in the grass or buy a shaggy rug and hide them in there, as they will not be visible. Also remember to spray paint them black or brown so they don't shine in the moonlight. Depending on the thickness of his shoes, the assailant will get a 1-2cm deep wound to the sole of his foot and lose the use of that foot (since the caltrop will be stuck to his shoe), which is usually enough to give you the decisive edge in any physical encounter.
- Nail Heads on Carpet
Same philosophy as the caltrop, but easier to clean up. Drive nails through the bottom of a rug so that the sharp end sticks up, and superglue or epoxy them in place from the back side. Space them about 5cm apart in a triangular pattern. When you need to dispose of the trap, simply pick up the rug and move it.
- Aerosol Flame Trap
Basically a trap that incorporates a lighter, an aerosol can, and a triggering device. Assailant triggers lighter and aerosol spray, which sends a 1-meter jet of flame in a set direction for approximately 3-10 seconds (depending on how much fuel is in the spray can). The flame will not be hot enough to set him on fire, but will scare him and cause minor burns.
- Mace Canister/CS dispenser/Mustard Gas dispenser
Same philosophy as the stink dispenser, but uses irritating/painful chemical agents this time. Mace is commercially obtainable and usually comes in nice spray bottles that you can easily hook up to an automated triggering system. The other two have the advantage of being much more painful than Mace, but also dangerous to yourself as well. Use with care. Your assailant will likely be incapacitated after an encounter like this, and will require medical attention if the chemical amount is high enough.
Potentially Lethal- 00 Buckshot Trap
You do not need a firearm for this trap to work, although it makes it much easier. If you do have a shotgun, simply wire it to go off when someone triggers a pressure plate or tripwire. If you don't, use a thickened metal pipe and an improvised firing pin. Pipe strength is not critical as the "barrel" only has to withstand one shot. The advantage of this is that spread of 00 Buckshot out of a 15-20 cm unchoked barrel is about the size of a fist at 10 meters, which means that you can place this trap well out of sight of an entryway, or it can guard all the windows and doors along an entire wall as opposed to just one point of egress. If you want to tone down the lethality, substitute a lighter load of shot (or beanbag shot) for the device, and/or place at knee/ankle level to disable movement.
- Spring-loaded axe/knife/machete
Basically a device that swings a blade down a predetermined path upon triggering. The ideal path for a thrusting movement is usually upwards through the floorboards or downwards from the ceiling at a slight (20 degree-40 degree) angle. The ideal path for a swinging movement is either at abdomen height or neck height (lethal), or from behind towards the back of the knee/hamstring (disabling).
- FFV 013 / VP 88 / MON-50
These are the Swedish, Finnish, and Russian versions of the American M18 Claymore directional landmine. Since you live in Sweden, these devices should be the versions that are available if you have the right connections in your local community. Triggering systems include tripwires and infrared laser beam triggers (basically one of the beams that goes across the bottom of a garage door.)
- Grenade In A Can
A hand grenade works like this: you pull the firing pin, then throw it, at which a spring-loaded handle held flush to the grenade body is set free when the grenade leaves your hand, arming the fuse and beginning the countdown. So the grenade in a can works by pulling the firing pin but jamming the grenade into a steel can. Then you place the can down on the ground and weight it down with rocks (or glue it to the ground). Then you wrap a thin, clear string (piano wire or nylon fishing lines work the best here) around the grenade and thread the other end around a vertical object to form a tripwire. When the wire is pulled, the grenade will pop out of the can and arm itself, and explode; if you can get the variants with a zero-delay fuse (an instantaneous fuse) then the grenade will explode without warning.
The best grenade to use for this is the Soviet RGD-5, as it is can-sized, cheap, and comes with a zero-delay UZRGM fuse. The grenade itself is usually available in bulk for about $5 (or 4 euros) per unit. It has a guaranteed lethal radius of 3 meters and can inflict fragmentation injuries/shatter glass out to 15 meters, so do not plant one of these close to a window or door. As always, paint the device matte black or brown for low-visibility in nighttime conditions.
how the fuck are you gonna clean the caltrops out if you want to walk through your own yard, lol
Tie fishing wire around all of them and just throw em out and reel em back in when you need to. Like have all the wire go through a little hoop connected outside your door or something that you can just grab and rake em all in :D
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Go into the woods and find some poison ivy / oak. (carefully) Squeeze some of that oil into a container and and spray it on the trampoline. Even better when your friends use it. Or run a (live) wire up to the trampoline in the ground and have it turn on when motion is detected.
Or get a fence installed if that's feasible. I have a 6ft privacy fence for the backyard only and don't have any dog poop or kids problems like in the front.
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If I were you I would at least put up some sort of warning sign next to the trampoline to prevent any potential lawsuits.
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Hmmm...try irrigating your trampoline. It will always be wet and pretty much unjumpable :D
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I think a mountain goat for defense would suffice or perhaps a moat filled with horse meat. Nobody likes that stuff apparently.
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Do you own a garden hose with a high pressure nozzle?
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As for calling the cops: does nothing. Kids run, cops go "what you want me to do?", then repeat.
I'd say call the cops, but not for emergency response to catch the kids. Call and ask for advice on dealing with trespassers.
It's a safety issue as well, and you want to be sure that you've got all your ducks in a row before someone hurts themselves (or gets hurt by someone) on your property.
You could try covering it in a tarp or something, so it is less convenient and accessible. kids are lazy. If it's not staring them in the face, ready to go, they may not bother.
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On March 11 2013 14:00 Ilikestarcraft wrote:Show nested quote +On March 11 2013 13:05 endy wrote:
You have to do something. If one of those kids somehow cracks his skull on the trampoline, his parents are going to sue for not having a locked down fence around it.
Isn't there a way of taking it to pieces rather than putting the whole thing in a storage room ? I don't know about legal issues and maybe this is me just being ignorant but a world where you're held responsible for kids illegally trespassing on your property and getting hurt is messed up, regardless of whether there is a locked down fence on it or not.
you can quite easily get sued for kids pool hopping and drowning in your pool wihtout a fence with a lock. this probably isnt much different.
talk to parents one last time and if it happens again call cops and just send them to the home of the one kid you do know. theyll get the message
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hahahahaha today has been so funny
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Sorry, I won't bounce on it again
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I am sorry to ask but why is this a problem that kid are having fun in your backyard ?
Is the problem just because they don't care about what you want and disrespect ?
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On March 11 2013 15:11 sths wrote:
Buy a few long length chains, wrap them across the bouncy area and then use a pad lock on the chains. The kids won't be able to bounce on it since theres ropes of chains on it and you can use it when you want.
Alternatively, this sounds like a good idea as well.
On March 11 2013 15:12 Kiante wrote:
get a surveilance camera. identify the children. speak to their parents. speak to the cops. voila
get serious or go home
Ehh a surveilance camera would cost quite a bit, and would likely not be able to pick out their faces in the dark? I also still don't know where everyone lives. They usually gather and hang out in front of my place since there's a park there, but could live 5 minutes up the road.
On March 11 2013 15:25 LML wrote:Show nested quote +On March 11 2013 14:23 Aerisky wrote:On March 11 2013 14:00 Ilikestarcraft wrote:On March 11 2013 13:05 endy wrote:
You have to do something. If one of those kids somehow cracks his skull on the trampoline, his parents are going to sue for not having a locked down fence around it.
Isn't there a way of taking it to pieces rather than putting the whole thing in a storage room ? I don't know about legal issues and maybe this is me just being ignorant but a world where you're held responsible for kids illegally trespassing on your property and getting hurt is messed up, regardless of whether there is a locked down fence on it or not. Unfortunately that's how it is people are so litigation-happy these days..... there is actually a very big chance he'd be sued if the kids, who were trespassing, hurt themselves in some way. Sucks. what if you put up a sign that states that trespassing is not allowed and you're not liable for injuries that occure if not following this rule? Also the chains around the trampoline's bouncing area is probably not too bad, either.
Does simply putting up a sign actually defend me from such legal stuff if someone does get hurt?
On March 11 2013 15:39 MaestroSC wrote:
Shoot them with a paintball gun... or hose. Sneakiness will be necessary in order for either to be successful.
Your house might get egged and you might have pissed off teens/parents coming to your door in which case you answer the door in nothing but your underwear, holding a samurai sword, with some sort of mask on. Act casually, and just tell them you were practising when they rang the door bell.
Also.. if u left a trampoline in your front yard..and i was a neighbor... i would totally jump on your trampoline =/. I would quit after you yelled at or chased me... my little brother would be one of the assholes who u would have to physically catch and harm to get him to stop... he is kinda an asshole, and prefers to do something more, once he figures out it makes someone else angry.
New idea... set footsnares/booby traps on front yard. Win win... they stop touching your trampoline, or you get to cackle maniacally as you hear shouts of pain from your front yard.
then again.,.. just chase them with a bat like u planned... but only wearing your underwear and a mask... think of the nightmares that would leave them with. Nobody fucks with the "crazy neighbor"
I do have a paintball gun actually. No CO2 or paintballs though.
On March 11 2013 21:48 U_G_L_Y wrote:
Do you own a garden hose with a high pressure nozzle?
I have a garden hose, but no high pressure nozzle, and the tap is next to the trampoline, so I'd have to run over there in front of them and start turning it on while they run away lol
On March 11 2013 22:23 Oboeman wrote:Show nested quote +As for calling the cops: does nothing. Kids run, cops go "what you want me to do?", then repeat. I'd say call the cops, but not for emergency response to catch the kids. Call and ask for advice on dealing with trespassers. It's a safety issue as well, and you want to be sure that you've got all your ducks in a row before someone hurts themselves (or gets hurt by someone) on your property. You could try covering it in a tarp or something, so it is less convenient and accessible. kids are lazy. If it's not staring them in the face, ready to go, they may not bother.
Yeah I think this is a good idea. I want a quick and easy solution that doesn't involve me just hoping they are stupid enough for fall for some kind of trap. Again, I also do use it occasionally, so I don't want something messy to cleanup everytime I want to use it.
On March 11 2013 22:39 QuanticHawk wrote:Show nested quote +On March 11 2013 14:00 Ilikestarcraft wrote:On March 11 2013 13:05 endy wrote:
You have to do something. If one of those kids somehow cracks his skull on the trampoline, his parents are going to sue for not having a locked down fence around it.
Isn't there a way of taking it to pieces rather than putting the whole thing in a storage room ? I don't know about legal issues and maybe this is me just being ignorant but a world where you're held responsible for kids illegally trespassing on your property and getting hurt is messed up, regardless of whether there is a locked down fence on it or not. you can quite easily get sued for kids pool hopping and drowning in your pool wihtout a fence with a lock. this probably isnt much different. talk to parents one last time and if it happens again call cops and just send them to the home of the one kid you do know. theyll get the message
I only particularly know the address of the younger kids who have stopped doing it since the first few times. It's just these damn teenagers that I know nothing about :/
On March 12 2013 01:24 E.L.V.I.S wrote:
I am sorry to ask but why is this a problem that kid are having fun in your backyard ?
Is the problem just because they don't care about what you want and disrespect ?
That's mostly it, but it's also annoying simply listening to a bunch of kids jabber on my lawn as well.
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Set up a sprinkler system in your yard while your gone that will spray the trampoline with water. No one wants to jump on a soggy trampoline
Pros:
- kids socks get wet or water blocks their entry
- yard gets watered resulting in nice grass
- may be able to time it/automatically/manually turn it on and spray kids unexpectedly - hilarious
- non-lethal
Cons
- may have to buy sprinkler
- water may be costly
- kids may go on anyways and slip and get hurt
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Maybe get yourself a dog specifically trained to bite the balls off of anyone that jumps on the trampoline. Wait for the kids to start jumping on the trampoline, and unleash the hound so that those kids are trapped on the trampoline and have no where to go. Laugh maniacally.
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On March 11 2013 15:57 Arisen wrote:
There was this guy in our neighborhood when I was younger who was really rich. His family had everything a kid could want. A lot of people would sneak onto his property and bounce on the trampoline or swim in their lake (yes, they had their own goddamn lake), or what have you. So the solution he came up with was to put a bed of nails under his trampoline so that if you got to a decent bounce and slammed back down you would hit the nails. A couple of kids ended up in the hospital, so i guess it worked. Of course there were rumors he killed some kids too, so maybe not the best example XD
This sounds like a great idea, thatll teach those brats
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My family got a trampoline when I was a teenager... and this same stuff happened in our neighborhood. I guess it happens everywhere. We handled it a wee bit less disturbingly, but probably less effectively.
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Great way to piss off your neighbors and annoy the children, use a motion sensor alarm.
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Can someone explain to me why a wet trampoline is a deterrent? We used to spray my friends tramp with water all the time while jumping during summer... was like a bouncing water park...
In all seriousness... just put a tarp or something on it... teenagers are lazy mofo's and noone will want to put in enough effort to remove the tarp... especially if you put something moderately heavy on the tarp..or something that made a lot of noise like a bunch of bells around the perimeter of it on the tarp
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What the hell are these ideas.
If you deliberately weaken the trampoline or do anything that would endanger a user and a kid breaks his face on it, you bet your ass you'd get sued to hell and gone for deliberately creating a hazard to injure minors. Don't even think about doing anything with nails, weakening the support rods, or anything that could cause harm because that's just asking to get the shit sued out of you and, in all honesty, they'd probably win.
Putting a sign up doesn't do shit. I can't put a sign up that says "trespassers will be shot", shoot a trespasser, and expect to avoid any legal issues just because I put a sign up (of course, that depends on your state's trespassing laws, but you see the point). Likewise, a little signpost somewhere probably won't void you of any liability if one of these shits breaks his neck.
Disabling the trampoline or scaring the kids is the only real option, the police are going to be fairly ineffective unless they catch the kids in the act which is highly unlikely. Even if they do, it'd probably only make the "thrill" that much more to the rest of them. A cop showing up to one of their houses to speak with parents would scare them, I imagine. Definitely something to inquire about.
Chains with padlock is easy, reasonably cheap, and effective. Avoid anything that would make a substantial amount of noise, that's merely going to piss off the neighbors and the kids would probably fuck with it and make noises several times a night just for the hell of it and to piss you off as well.
Alternatively, wait until kids start using it and fire a blank shot in the air or make something that sounds like a gunshot to scare them, the legality of that depends on your area though. For example, if you fire a blank shot in the air, scare the kids, they run off and whilst running they break a leg, that could potentially some really unwanted legal attention.
Bottom line is don't do anything on YOUR end that could injure or harm anyone (and that includes noisy things like an alarm, because if I was a kid I'd fuck with that alarm probably every night). Call the police and ask for advice and help on your situation, if you know for sure where one of the offenders lives you and/or the police can speak with the parents. Barring that, disabling the trampoline is simply your best option.
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mount a weed whacker above trampoline with remote activation
kids come near
wzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz CHOP
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buy some chains, wrap them with barbed wire, wrap around the jumping part of the trampoline in a sort of grid formation, lock the chains.
should look like this:
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/4Y8m9fb.png)
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get some blood from a butchers or somewhere and put it all over the top of the trampoline, then the kids will be playing on it and suddenly realise there is blood everywhere. thats what i would do
then you could run out and shout at them, "You bloody kids!!" and then be like 
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On March 12 2013 21:38 FFGenerations wrote:get some blood from a butchers or somewhere and put it all over the top of the trampoline, then the kids will be playing on it and suddenly realise there is blood everywhere. thats what i would do then you could run out and shout at them, "You bloody kids!!" and then be like
ahahaha nice idea :p
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Leave a dead animal on there while you aren't using it. They will never come back.
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Get a squirt gun and fill it with hot sauce.
Aim for the eyes.
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How can one get sued if kids jump, without permission, on one's trampoline and hurts themselves? I find it funny that someone can sue you if they hurt themselves when committing a crime, assuming trespassing is a crime in Canada (you never know with North America man).
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EPT![[image loading]](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/59/Caltrop_from_Vietnam_1968.jpg/220px-Caltrop_from_Vietnam_1968.jpg)
