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Poor Poor Pup,
Forever alone...
...with no one to hold.
The pack has left,
The lone wolf,
Is all that is kept.
![[image loading]](http://www.livingwithwolves.org/images/Gallery_Images/Pups/Pups.3.044.2.jpg)
Pups run by,
With friends....
Friends by their side.
![[image loading]](http://parishwhittaker.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/wolfpuppy.jpg)
Poor Poor Pup,
Sad, alone, and afraid,
All split up.
The pup lost,
All was gone...
For a cost.
The cost unknown,
Oh how the pup was,
Forever alone...
+ Show Spoiler +
It All Happened Last Saturday
I had just come home from Boy Scout Camp Friday Evening. I had a County fair to go to on Saturday. I had entered my big yellow Labrador Retriever in the dog show despite being gone for a whole week. This was due to the fact that everyone that enters and participates in any way in that dog show knows me and I know everyone that enters and participates in any way in that dog show.
Sounds like a good morning will be coming right? Wrong. Here's why.
I had to get up around 6:30 A.M. to get ready and at the fair in time to help set up since my Mom and I are always involved in set up at the fair's dog shows, as well as the taking down. We usually drag my older brother and my father into it too. The problem is that I was staying up late (one day till 1:30 A.M.) all week at camp and getting up at 7:00 A.M..
I couldn't get to sleep that night due to the sudden elation of having access to my computer to game, program, PM on forums, read on forums, read guides for SC I had read 10 times, read guides for other games I had read 2-3 times, listen to music, read books, etc.
I finally got to sleep at... 2:30 A.M..
2:30!!! Considering that I should have slept around 10PM due to being tired overall, my feet hurting from walking all over camp each day, and that I had been on a schedule to sleep till 10PM that week, it wasn't a good idea to stay up that late.
6:20A.M. My parents know I don't usually wake up easily. (I did at camp though for some reason) They come into my room, and try to wake me up. I didn't know what was going on or for how long but I had been dreaming of casting spells to beat Kerrigan in a UMS (made up in my dream) on SC:BW.
8:00A.M. I finally wake up to my Dad grabbing me all over really hard and pulling me out of bed(still in my pajamas), pulling me all the way to the front passenger seat of his car without socks, shoes, etc. on me, not even a chance to use the bath room.
He shows me that he had gotten my pair of boots and socks under the front passenger seat, and a shirt to change into. I have to keep the same pants(thankfully I keep a real pair of shorts under my pajamas just in case of an emergency where I'll need to leave ASAP.
My Dad then starts cursing at me on the way there saying "YOU ARE A CUNT, A DIRTY WORTHLESS SLOB, A FUCKING GUTLESS, DICK HEADED LIER! YOU MANIPULATING PIECE OF SHIT! YOU ARE A WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP! AND YOU ARE MY FUCKING SLAVE! THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE! YOU ARE MY SLAVE YOU CUNT! YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU ARE THE WORTHLESS SON I WISH I NEVER HAD! AND YOU DON'T GIVE A SINGLE BIT OF RESPECT TO ME, NONE WHATSOEVER!!!!"
I cried and cried, having no idea what in the world caused him to be this... evil. It was the only word I could use to describe it. He had never cursed at me before, let alone called me his slave. I had no idea what in the world it could be that caused him to be so awful. Had my Dad changed over this single week? What happened?!?
I thought back to when he picked me up at camp. I saw something different in his face. He had a maniacal look in his eyes and his expression. Back there I thought I was just seeing things. My Dad was nice. He wasn't the type of guy that would curse or beat his kids. He didn't believe in that, he had told me so many times. Until now.
I was driven home from the fair by my Mom. I asked her what had happened that morning while we were on our way and she told me. I had really scared her. I stood up on my bed when she went to wake me up and started swinging my blanket around like a cape. Then she got really frightened as I said awful, awful things she said. She started crying as she said that and just kept crying. She said after that.... she ran out of the room and told my Dad she was going on her own and for him to get me up. She said she couldn't handle it. She asked me not to ask any more, "I really have to concentrate on driving, I can't tell you details right now... maybe later" I could tell there would be no later. She had said enough for me to realize... I must have cursed at her. Possibly as much as my Dad cursed at me. Maybe even more.
I thought about it and said... "Mom, I think it may have been... well... I was having a dream where I was casting spells-"
"So those awful things you said were to try and cast some sort of spells on me?"
"...I was dreaming..."
"...."
Now I feel reeeeeeeeeeeally sad. Guilty, mad, etc. Huge mix of feelings. And did I imagine that look in my Dad's eyes? Or was it... was it real? And how in the world did I say such awful things in my sleep?!? Is that even normal?!? Only one thing is certain...
Worst. Morning. Ever
Note: I do not claim right to any of the pictures. I did not take them myself.
 
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This is so confusing that it intrigues me.
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? You didn't do any of that stuff on purpose. You clearly didn't direct any of it at her on purpose. I don't see why they're angry...
You can't really control yourself when you are sleeping
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I think that "worst morning ever" doesn't describe enough the feeling of being cursed at my your own father. Those capped words in the spoiler really striked me, as I imagined the actual scenario in real life. But have your parents told you what you said that night? Did you insult your mother while sleep-walking or something? I don't get it. And even so, I mean just explain yourself to your parents and that will be all... unless they think that you are viscerally evil because somehow they think you subconsciously want to kill one of your own family members...? Very odd.
The feeling of being hated by your father is something unimaginable. God I feel terrible reading this now.
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I don't know if I've been hated by my father or he just no longer gives a fuck about anything, but either way all I get from him is cold stares of apathy and the ocassional fart.
GL in solving your own problems. If your parents aren't intelligent enough to realise that they're being retards for judging you based on being asleep, then they're worse than my parents and they lack the integrity and intellect to deserve respect.
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Yeah lately I've been getting the feeling more and moreso over the passing days that really, they don't deserve my respect. But the feeling of being hated by my own father... it just seems so wrong. 
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thats your worst morning ever?
your dad yelled at you
you have a nice life
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Can you have some compassion? I'm 15, yeah this is the worst morning I've ever had.
edit: Oh and did I mention that they continually say that I "MADE" them do this? Plus my Mom beats me for lots of things...
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On July 27 2012 11:21 3FFA wrote:
Can you have some compassion? I'm 15, yeah this is the worst morning I've ever had.
edit: Oh and did I mention that they continually say that I "MADE" them do this? Plus my Mom beats me for every little thing...
Less than three more years and you will never have to see them again if you don't wish to. Don't let other people influence you that heavily, who cares if they are your parents? There's no rule that says you have to respect them for that.. As someone above said, if they don't understand that you have no control over what you do while you're sleeping, then they don't deserve anything from you.
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True but with prices rising... I kinda feel like I'll need to live at home for a few extra years o.o
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 life is so tough
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It sounds like maybe there are some other issues going on that you might not know about? I didn't know there were problems between my parents until I was 16 when my mom broke down crying when she was talking to me and my brother. It turns out there had been problems for a long time, including my dad having affairs. They ended up getting divorced. And I had no clue.
First and foremost, I would say not to blame yourself or feel bad at all. You didn't do anything bad. Then, I would think about how your relationship with your parents has been in the past. Has it been open and loving? Or do you guys not communicate very much? Maybe you want to try asking one or both of your parents if something is going on if you are comfortable with that.
I also went to Boy Scout Camp but I never stayed up late. Times be a changin' I suppose. Hope you enjoyed it. I wish you the best and hope that you get through whatever is going on.
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What we have here... is a failure to communicate. I would try and find a time when things have calmed down a bit to talk to your parents one on one. Maybe mom first, say that you're sorry for anything you may have said while asleep, but that obviously you were asleep and had no control over it, so you hope that she understands and forgives you.
Then tackle the dad, say something similar to the above, and also say something like how you really value your relationship with him and you were hurt by some of the things that he said in the car.
It can be really hard to confront difficult issues like this, but tactfully and respectfully addressing them is definitely the way to go.
Good luck!
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Wow, I hate when people take dreams seriously, dreams may have meaning, but not direct, obviously those meanings were not directed at your mom. I can't believe this crap. I'm sorry for reacting like this, but your parents NEED to go see a psychologist with you if that is how they react towards you saying things IN A DREAM, because if thats a dream I really hope to god they don't do this when you have a nasty day and they do something you dislike so you get snippy.
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Sorry...but is this some kind of christian thing or something?
I seriously can't think of a single family who's parents would get angry over their child saying...whatever...when it was obvious he was half asleep.
Nobody should try waking me up too early without expecting sleeping-me to lash out with every curseword you can imagine.
I can't help but imagine the Exorcist scene.
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LOL I just can't stop laughing hahah
but I'm sorry that happened to you.
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by the way, theres no way in hell ANYTHING you could've possibly said in a dream could amount to that type of reaction from your dad.. something else has to be going on
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sorry but your parents sound really lame
my condolences for your terrible morning because it sounds pretty horrific to just have your dad randomly polemic at you after you have had little sleep and have done something you didn't know you were doing.
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Apologize. Then apologize again. Try really hard to empathize with how your mom is feeling, being rejected and (unwillingly) verbally abused. Try to understand the depth of the emotional damage you've been at the center of. Hopefully you'll start feeling much worse as you get to grips with the hurt, but if that's the case, its good to get it out, so get it all out, make the effort to dig all the way to the root of the problem and pain. Really really try as much as you can to NOT RUN AWAY or try distracting yourself and escaping (BW, internet, pron etc) from the problem.
If you can do that, you can truly understand the sort of pain your parents are going through inside, and then you'll truly be in a position for ask for forgivness, and to unite together to seek family harmony. Maybe there are things going on you don't know about or understand, anyone in your position would be confused, but its really key that you commit TOGETHER to uncover, bring to light, work throug, and solve the underlying problems. Trust me, shit like this, if you internalize it, ignore it, try to escape from it and refuse to face it and deal with it - it fucks you up man, and later on down the road it'll take much more work and pain to root it out. Anthough we've reconciled and forgiven eachother now, I've still got doubts about my own worth and adequacy from my Dad taking his alcoholism, stress and frustration out on me. That leaves scars man
So do it now, with a sincere, respectful, yet humble and non-vindictive/spiteful attitude. It will seem hard, but trust me, verily I tell you the truth, it will be much harder to root out if you let the seeds of dissent and family separation grow and mature. Work through it together, get a mediator like your brother in on it, to ensure you don't act out and/or your parents don't either. And let us know. BW bros stick together.
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EPT
